There With You by Samantha Young
Regan
I’d returned to the annex to shower and dress. When I went back into the main house, I found Thane in the best mood he’d been in since McClintock had approached him. I assumed the man hadn’t been in touch again, but I made a note to find a private moment to ask. Other than a quick double glance at my legs when I walked in (I was wearing one of my preppy short dresses with thick tights, a pair of cute ankle boots, and an emerald-green, double-breasted pea coat I’d purchased online with my nice new salary), he’d treated me with nothing but friendly civility.
Eilidh and Lewis were happy I was joining them on their day out, but as always it took us twice as long to get them ready as we figured. By the time we climbed into Thane’s SUV, it was already midmorning.
“What’s so special about this castle?” I asked as we drove through the village. “It can’t be as spectacular as Ardnoch.” Not that I’d spent as much time there as I would’ve liked.
Thane smirked. “Ardnoch will always be special. Even if it was drafty and miserable to live in when we were children.”
Surprised, I said, “It was?”
“Oh, aye. It was nothing like how you see it now. Lachlan invested a lot into the castle and estate to make it the grand, luxurious building it’s become. But when we were children, it was baltic—freezing,” he clarified. “Some fireplaces were unusable because nests and other critters blocked the chimneys. We’d congregate around the one in the reception area with blankets and books and games.” He grinned like the memories weren’t so bad. “We were what you call land rich but cash poor.”
“I can’t even imagine that.”
“Lachlan knew changes had to be made after our father died. Dad had raised us to be very aware of our responsibilities as Adairs. We were custodians of a rich history. And Lachlan felt that responsibility deeply, but he knew if he didn’t do something, we’d lose everything. We owned land all over the Highlands and even in the Lowlands, some of it particularly lucrative because of its resources. Lachlan sold it all, divided the earnings between us, and then he invested his Hollywood earnings into the estate. Created the club. A percentage of its earnings goes toward the rest of our inheritance.”
Impressed by my sister’s fiancé, I said, “He’s very savvy. I mean, the club’s reputation precedes itself.”
Thane grinned. “My brother is a born showman. And the club is just one big show.”
“So if Ardnoch is better than Dunrobin, why are we going?” Lewis asked.
Thane glanced at him over his shoulder before returning his eyes to the road. “In just a few minutes, you’ll see why.”
Intrigued, we waited, and then as we turned a bend on the coastal road that followed the cliff’s edge, Thane pointed out the window. “There, do you see it? Eilidh-Bug, do you see it?”
I sucked in a breath. In the distance, stretching up above the trees, perched near the cliff’s edge, was a castle straight out of a storybook. It was white with conical spires.
“Oh, Daddy!” Eilidh gasped as she caught sight of it.
I turned to look at her in the back seat, grinning at how big her eyes had gotten. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
She nodded, amazed. “It’s the Beauty and the Beast castle!”
“I’ve seen it before,” Lewis piped up. “We’ve driven this way before, Dad.”
“We have. But Eilidh was too young then to notice it. Do you like it, Eils?” her dad asked.
“Yes!” She gave me an excited “well duh” look that made me giggle.
I sat back in my seat and shot Thane a grin. “She likes it.”
His pleased smile made my heart flip in my chest.
“It’s the seat of the earls and dukes of Sutherland,” Thane told us. “And the Adairs have some family connections to them.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? Are you guys aristocracy?”
“Not quite. We’re what you would call landed gentry. That means—”
“I know what it means.”
He raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged and admitted unashamedly, “I read a lot of historical romance.”
Thane shot me a quick look, saw I was serious, and then grinned that stupidly sexy smile of his. “Okay, then.”
“So not aristocracy, but you have links to them?” I prodded. I found this fascinating. British royalty and aristocracy were like something out of a fairy tale.
“Yes. We have an ancestor who married the younger brother of the Duke of Sutherland.”
“Are we there yet, Daddy?” Eilidh asked impatiently.
“Nearly, sweetheart. Nearly.”
As Thane turned off the road, the castle appeared before us, imposing and beautiful. There were cars parked on the wide drive before it. Upon closer inspection, I saw the castle wasn’t white but more of a sandstone. Still, it was freaking beautiful. “It’s amazing,” I whispered.
“It’s inspired by a French chateau,” Thane said, “which is why, Eilidh, you think it looks like something out of Beauty and the Beast. The castle gardens were inspired by the gardens at the Palace of Versailles. It was a fort back in the day, but in the Victorian era, the earl hired the famous architect Sir Charles Barry.” He looked at me. “He designed and rebuilt the Houses of Parliament after they caught fire.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Impressive.” I could see why Thane, the architect, loved this place so much.
“Very. He turned Dunrobin into what it is now, and he also designed the gardens.”
“Ree-Ree …” Eilidh got our attention with her worried tone. She stared at us from the back seat with that deep frown furrowing her brow.
“What is it, sweetie?”
“I’m not dressed right!”
Confused, I studied her for a second in her adorable red winter coat and matching hat. Underneath she wore a navy dress and navy ankle boots. The kid couldn’t be any cuter. “You look beautiful.”
“But I’m not dressed like a princess.” Her eyes flew toward the castle. “I should have put on my unicorny dress.”
Thane and I looked at each other, both of us clearly trying not to laugh at how cute she was. Then suddenly I realized how close our faces were. As if Thane realized it, too, a strange, hot tension sparked between us, and we jerked back in our seats.
“You’re perfect, sweetie,” I said, scrambling to unbuckle my belt and get away from my boss. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”
Once Thane had paid for our entrance, we walked into the castle, Thane’s hand on Lewis’s shoulder as he talked to him about the castle’s history. Despite his age, Lewis hung on to his father’s every word. Eilidh, while old enough to appreciate the castle’s beauty, just as Thane knew she would, was too young to take much of anything else in.
So while her dad lingered with her brother over every little thing in the rooms that were open to the public, I took photos of everyone with my camera phone and only stopped Eilidh at the parts I thought she’d like. Like the room with the old-fashioned ceremonial clothing. She seemed right at home in the opulent drawing room and wanted to touch anything shiny. Thankfully, Eils, despite her big personality, listened when she was told not to do something.
Okay, so she listened after the third time I told her with a sharpened tone not to touch. And that was only after she shot me a dark look that made me want to laugh. But I didn’t. Because if she knew how funny I found her antics, she’d never again see me as an authority figure.
We were standing in the fanciest dining room I’d ever seen, and it was like I’d stepped into one of the period dramas I loved so much. A hot breath suddenly whispered across my ear, and a rumbly, masculine voice said quietly, “I’ll take Eils if you want to have a proper look around now.”
Goose bumps prickled my neck, and I couldn’t look at Thane as I nodded. “Sure, that would be great.”
“I can take you around,” Lewis offered.
“Sounds good.”
“Come on, Eilidh-Bug.” Thane grasped her hand. “Do you like the castle?”
“Can we live here?” I heard her ask as I followed Lewis out of the room.
For the next half hour, Lewis led me back into rooms I’d hurried through with Eilidh, and I discovered not only had he been listening to his dad but he had retained nearly everything Thane had told him. Smart as a whip.
Once we were done, we headed downstairs and found Thane waiting with Eilidh. “Did you enjoy it?” He grinned down at me.
Squeezing Lewis into my side, I replied, “With the best guide in the world showing me around? Of course.”
Lewis blushed a little but grinned when his dad smiled proudly at him. “Right. Time to see the gardens. The falconry display is on in twenty minutes.”
“What’s fall-rony?” Eilidh asked as we wandered the grounds.
While Thane tried to explain to his five-year-old daughter about the ancient art of using birds of prey to hunt, I peered over the edge of the top tier of the back of the grounds, amazed. Thane had not been kidding. The castle was perched above the lower gardens with many steps down to get to them. Despite being tiny in comparison, the landscape had the same beautiful order and formal grandeur of Versailles. Beyond that was the sea, gleaming like a tranquil mirror.
Though it was a cold November day, only a very slight sea breeze blew past, the sun cutting through the iciness to create perfect, crisp salty air. My favorite kind of day. Thane lost Eilidh’s interest five minutes into the garden walk, and she took off with Lewis to run around instead. I captured photos of them with my phone, and Thane approached me while I snapped a picture of them staring up at a fountain. They did so in the same manner, and with their dark curls, there was no mistaking they were siblings. Thane leaned into me to see the picture, and I caught a whiff of his fresh, citrusy scent.
“Can you send that to me?” he asked.
“Sure.” I met his gaze, swallowing hard at his nearness. “I’ll send them all to you.”
Our eyes held for a moment too long.
“Ree-Ree!” Eilidh shouted, breaking the tension.
Ignoring the butterflies in my belly and the worries in the back of my mind, I hurried to Eilidh just in time to talk her out of climbing into the fountain.
By the time we arrived for the falconry display, Eilidh was mulish, bored, and hungry. She was done with the fairy-tale castle. “Just a while longer,” I assured her, lifting her into my arms.
It was clear Thane really wanted to see the falcons, so I handled her while he and Lewis moved closer in the small crowd that had gathered around the falconer and his Peregrine.
“I don’t like the bird.” Eilidh held on tight to me.
“It won’t hurt you, sweetie,” I promised but took a few steps back. “Better?”
“No, I’m hungry,” she growled in her monster voice. Not so cute when she was on the verge of a tantrum.
“Eilidh, we won’t be long.”
“I want to go now!” Her voice got louder, her scowl deeper.
I gave her a stern look as she tried to slide out of my arms. “Eilidh Adair, today is your dad’s day. This is for his birthday. And your dad doesn’t ask a lot from you, so you’re going to behave and let him enjoy his day.”
She pouted, her eyes brightening with tears, but to my relief, she clamped her lips closed and snuggled her head against my chest.
“Good girl,” I whispered, turning to look toward the show.
Instead, I caught Thane staring at me. His eyes smiled and he mouthed, “Thank you.”
I smiled back, wishing my heart didn’t race at a mere tender look from him.
Thankfully, he turned back to the display. It was pretty awesome, but Eilidh was getting heavier and more restless in my arms by the second. I was grateful when it ended.
“That was really cool, Dad,” Lewis said as they followed us up toward the castle.
“Glad you enjoyed it … do you fancy stopping in at the tearoom for something to eat?”
“YES!” Eilidh yelled.
I winced. “Eilidh, my ears.”
“Sorry!” she said, not sorry, and then slipped out of my arms like an eel before I could stop her. She made to rush precariously down the stairs to be with her father, and my heart leapt into my throat. Thane, however, quickly dove forward and grabbed her up into his arms. Happy to be there, as well as delighted food was on the agenda, she let him carry her with no complaints up the steps.
A little out of breath when I reached the top, I bugged my eyes out at Lewis who grinned at me. “I think I need to start running with my sister.”
“Nah, you’re just old,” he teased.
I guffawed, horrified, and glowered at Thane as he laughed. “If I’m old, what are you? Ancient?”
That just made him laugh harder.
Sexy bastard.
Trying to get Eilidh to sit down in the tearoom was a nightmare. There was a glass cabinet filled with cake, and she just wanted to stare at it. Not that I didn’t understand the fascination. Eventually, after promising she’d get a piece of whatever cake she liked, we got her to sit down at a small table. And by small, I mean, my knees kept knocking against Thane’s.
The proximity was driving me nuts.
I tried to ignore it as we sat and talked with the kids about the castle and then about school. While the rest of us were eating scones with our tea, Eilidh had, of course, decided on a piece of messy chocolate cake. “You’ll spoil your lunch.” I tried to tell her.
“It’s Daddy’s birthday. There should be cake,” she argued.
“Fine, then you can share a piece with your dad.”
Thane’s lips had twitched at having been given no choice in the matter, but we both knew Eilidh would be sick if she ate the entire thing. As it was, she got most of it on her face. Trying to avoid cake crumbling onto her new red coat, I pulled baby wipes from my purse and swiped at her face as she continued talking about the argument she’d had with a boy in her class over how Marvel films weren’t for girls.
“But I said, I watch all the Malver films with Lewis—”
“Turn your face to me, sweetie,” I murmured, tilting her cheek.
She did as I asked but kept talking. “—and how can it not be for girls when there’s one with a girl called Captain Malver!”
“It’s true,” Lewis agreed, for once engaged in one of Eilidh’s many retellings of her school-day “discussions.”
As I got the last of the chocolate off her face and tenderly brushed a stray curl behind her tiny ear, I felt heat on my cheek. Glancing at Thane, I found him watching me with an intensity that made my breath catch.
“Ree-Ree, I need a wee-wee!” Eilidh announced loudly, breaking our staring match.
Thane pressed his lips together to stop his laughter at the answering titters around the tearoom, but his gorgeous eyes glittered with amusement.
Lewis giggled around a bite of scone, and I cut Eilidh a half-amused, half-stern look.
She grinned with her teeth comically pressed together.
“Eilidh Adair, we do not call it wee-wee, especially since it rhymes with my name.”
“But that’s why I should call it wee-wee.”
I narrowed my eyes, and she mirrored my expression. This kid! “If you need to use the restroom, what do you say?”
She opened her mouth, and I just knew she was going to repeat the Ree-Ree/wee-wee thing.
“Not that,” I cut her off and heard her father choke on his amusement. Shooting him a quelling look only made his shoulders shake harder.
Eilidh sighed like a world-weary eighty-year-old. “Fine. Ree-Ree, I need to use the restroom even though I don’t need to rest, I need to wee-wee.”
Thane coughed into his fist to cover up his laughter.
I couldn’t look at him. “Okay.” I stood, dropping my napkin on the table. “You’re too smart for your own good, kid.”
“I know.” She hopped up from the table and took my hand.
“We call it a restroom because it’s a polite word for it,” I told her as we made our way through the tearoom, following the sign for the ladies’ toilet off the entrance.
“But I like the word wee-wee.”
“You do now. However, believe me, when you’re my age, calling it that is not cute.”
She continued to argue about this the entire time we were in the bathroom. I waited outside her stall door, interrupting her thoughts on how funny the word wee-wee was to ask how she was doing. She’d answer and then continue her monologue. If I never heard the word wee-wee again, I wouldn’t be sorry.
Though she was hilarious.
“Do you think Daddy will have ate the rest of my cake?” Eils asked, her brow furrowed as we washed our hands and stepped out of the restroom.
“Eaten, sweetie,” I corrected. I was so busy looking down at her, I missed the person crossing our path and collided with him. My head flew up as the hand not holding Eilidh’s hit a hard chest. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
Green eyes stared into mine, and familiarity hit me. “Regan, right?”
“Jared, hey.” I stepped back a little, tightening my grip on Eilidh’s hand.
Noting her, the yummy young farmer looked down and asked, “And who’s this?”
Turning uncharacteristically shy, Eilidh pressed into my side and buried her face in my coat. Huh. “Uh … this is Eilidh. Eilidh, this is Jared, Farmer McCulloch’s grandson.”
She nodded and lowered her eyes to the floor.
Surprised, I looked up at Jared.
He just grinned. “Shy one?”
Not usually. “Uh … what are you doing here?”
“Oh, just dropping off some produce for the kitchens. You showing the kids the castle?”
“Yeah. And having cake.” I ruffled Eilidh’s hair lightly. She still didn’t look up.
Jared searched my face for a second. “I was hoping we’d bump into each other again.”
I smiled noncommittally.
“I have to get back. I have other deliveries to make, but … can I have your number?”
Oh my God. I had not been expecting that. No messing around with him, huh?
Uh …
He gave me a sexy half smile. “I just want to take you out for a drink. No pressure.”
I thought of Thane waiting for me back in the tearoom.
About the tension still crackling between us.
Or was it all in my head? Thane had made it clear where we stood.
But once he apologizes, you move on. Thane goes back to just being your boss, and you take care of those kids.I remembered my sister’s advice.
Move on.
Right.
“Sure.” I grinned, nodding, even though my stomach was in knots.
Jared pulled out his cell, and I rattled off my number. He tucked the phone back into his work pants, stared at me like he had a lot more than a friendly drink in mind, and backed away. “I’ll call you.”
“Great.” I gave him a little wave and then led a strangely quiet Eilidh back to the tearoom.
“All good?” Thane grinned at us, and I felt a stupid prickle of guilt.
“Yeah.”
“Ready to go, then?” He stood. “I’ve already paid.”
I frowned. “I was going to pay for your birthday.”
He gave me a look as if to say “nonsense.”
Letting it go, we gathered our things and walked back to the car. I should have known by how quiet Eilidh was that she was stewing over something. But I was so distracted by what had just happened, I wasn’t paying enough attention. It wasn’t until we were all in the car and Thane was about to turn on the engine that Eilidh asked loudly and somewhat sullenly, “Why is that pretty man going to call you, Ree-Ree?”
I squeezed my eyes closed for a second as silence descended over the car.
Ignoring Thane’s stare, I looked over my shoulder at Eilidh, who looked confused and upset. She clearly didn’t understand what had passed between me and Jared, but she knew she didn’t like it. Shit.
“What’s Eils talking about?” Thane asked quietly.
I flicked him a look. “We bumped into Jared McCulloch in the hall. I gave him my number.” I met Eilidh’s gaze. “It’s what friends do, sweetie. We exchanged numbers so we can hang out.”
“Like you and me hang out?”
“Sure!” I knew my voice was too high with my lie.
She frowned. “But … I’m still your best friend. He can’t be your best friend.”
For some stupid reason, tears pricked my eyes. “My bestest buds in the entire world—you and Lewis. Promise. No one is replacing your spot as my besties.”
Eilidh side-eyed her brother. “I’m your bestest best friend. Lew is your best friend.” She looked back at me now that she’d asserted herself at the top of my priority list. “Daddy is your other best friend. So that man can only be a friend friend. Okay?”
Lewis scowled ferociously out the window.
Oh, boy.
I really shouldn’t let Eilidh think she had authority over my friendships, but that knot in my stomach tightened at her mention of Thane. The children were starting to see us as a unit. And if the last few minutes were anything to go by, they were territorial about that unit.
Which meant they were too young to understand the imaginary lines drawn in the sand between “nanny” and “family.” It didn’t help if the two adults kept blurring those lines.
I shouldn’t have come today.
That is it, I decided as Thane started the car. No more spending weekend day trips with them. It wasn’t fair to the children in the end.
Eilidh had a short attention span and started talking about how hungry she was again. Considering it was past lunchtime and they’d only had a scone and cake, Thane promised we’d stop in at Morag’s to see if she had any sandwiches left.
Morag, the bubbly, pink-haired owner, was delighted to see the Adair kids. She brought them behind her chilled counter to help her make their sandwiches. Thane and I stood in a weirdly tense silence, watching.
Then I asked just loud enough for him to hear me, “Have you heard any more from that McClintock guy?”
“No,” Thane replied just as quietly. “I think my message got through.”
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to mess with Thane Adair while he was in scary, protective Dad mode. “Good.”
A few seconds passed. “Jared McCulloch. Really?”
At his sneering tone, I stiffened. “What does that mean?”
“It means”—he turned to me, his eyes glinting with hard irritation—“I already warned you he’s slept with every woman from here to Inverness.”
“I’m not looking for marriage, Thane. I just gave the guy my number.”
A growling sound rumbled from the back of his throat. “You’re better than that.”
My spine straightened. “Better than what?”
“Casual sex with a most likely disease-ridden farmer.”
I gaped at him. He sounded like a pretentious, elitist prick. “You don’t think he’s good enough?”
“No, he’s not,” he hissed, leaning too close. “And not because he’s a farmer but because he’s a silly wee fuck boy.” His eyes darkened to smoke. “Definitely not the man you said you wanted.”
Was he jealous?
After the angst we’d just been through and promised to get over, he was dragging us back into it. Robyn was right. I so wanted to junk-punch him. Shaking my head in disbelief, I walked away before I said something I’d regret. “I’ll wait in the car.”
* * *
THANE
Watching Eilidh fall asleep in her bed, Thane stood and finally allowed himself to think about what the hell he was doing. As he walked quietly from her room toward Lewis’s, he berated himself for how the afternoon had turned out.
After his discussion with Regan this morning, he was the one who had thrown out the mixed signals again. But every time he thought he had a handle on his attraction, some little thing pushed him over the edge. The way she was with Eilidh and Lewis, always taking care of them, consciously and subconsciously, proving they were constantly on her mind.
What father wouldn’t appreciate that in a woman?
Her thoughtfulness at the falconry display, realizing he was looking forward to sharing that with Lewis. And teaching Eilidh to be considerate, teaching her that some things would not be about her so that she realized as she got older, if she loved her family, she’d be content with putting them first when needed.
And Regan’s sense of humor and how Eilidh had only gotten wittier since Regan had come along. Learning from her in ways Thane didn’t mind at all.
The way Lewis was opening up from that serious, shy boy he’d been before her arrival. How much happier he seemed.
Then there were the things he noticed as a man.
The way he and Regan looked at each other and seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking.
The way her body was aware of him, how her back slightly arched whenever he got too close, causing her breasts to push up, her arse to push out. She didn’t even realize she was doing it, the movement was so subtle. But Thane was aware. Aware of the way her eyes dropped to his mouth as often as his lowered to hers.
He wanted her.
Even knowing how wrong it was, how complicated, how it would be construed by everyone else as something sordid and indecent, Thane wanted Regan Penhaligon, and he didn’t know how to make it stop without pushing her out of their lives completely.
And he’d been seething with jealousy ever since Eilidh let it out of the bag that Regan had given her number to Jared McCulloch.
Peeking into Lewis’s room, he was surprised to see his son’s light out. Lew was asleep. Usually, he waited for Thane to come and say good night.
That meant returning downstairs already.
To where Regan had insisted on cleaning up the kitchen after a night of showing him and the kids how to make homemade pizza to end their day of “celebrations.” It was so good, and the kids loved it so much, Thane was considering getting an outside pizza oven.
Of course, it would have been an even better night if Regan wasn’t so pissed off she couldn’t even talk to him. He knew Lewis had noticed because he’d grown quieter as the night wore on.
Damn it.
Reaching in to close his son’s door, Lewis’s voice stopped him.
“Dad.”
“Hey, bud, thought you were sleeping.” He crept into the room.
In the light spill from the hallway, Thane watched his son turn to look at him—and he was glowering.
Uh-oh.
“What is it, Lew?”
“Ree-Ree seems mad at you.”
Thane tensed. “We’re fine, buddy.”
“You were mad at her, and now she’s mad at you.”
Christ, his seven-year-old was too perceptive. “No, we’re good, Lew.”
His son glared harder. “She’s going to go away. And it’s your fault.” His voice broke as he buried his head in his pillow.
Oh, fucking hell. Rounding the bed, Thane sat down and placed a hand on Lewis’s shoulder. His son pushed his face deeper into the pillow.
“Lew, Regan and I are friends. She’s not going away. Not just yet. But you know, wee man, that she’s your nanny. She’s not part of the family,” he reminded him gently, even as each word caused an ache in his chest. “You have to be prepared for that.”
Lewis took a shuddering breath and turned to look at him. Thane’s heart broke at the sadness in his son’s eyes. “Why do people always have to leave?”
No, Thane was wrong. Now his heart fucking broke. He’d never wanted his children to have the childhood he had. To lose their mother.
Determined that when Fran died, he wouldn’t crumble like his own father had, he’d poured every ounce of his soul into fatherhood. Thane had thought he was doing not too bad a job, but the ordeal with Lucy, perhaps his handling of it, seemed to remind Lewis of loss. Not for him—Lew had never really taken to Lucy (Thane should have seen that as a warning sign)—but for his wee sister who’d thought the actress hung the moon and the sun. Thane was only grateful that his daughter was resilient and had been quick to transfer her affection to Regan.
“I don’t want you to think that,” Thane whispered, lying down beside Lewis to tuck him into his arms. He burrowed into his dad, and Thane held him tighter. “Not everyone leaves, Lew. I’m not going anywhere. Neither is Uncle Lachlan or Aunt Arrochar, or Aunt Robyn and Uncle Mac.” He didn’t mention Brodan or Arran. They’d grown too unpredictable for him to make any promises on their behalf. The reminder agitated him.
“What about Ree-Ree? She’s Aunt Robyn’s sister. Why can’t she stay?”
Thane exhaled slowly, feeling the loss of her already. “Because she’s young, Lew. She’s got her whole life ahead of her. She needs to go off and experience the world a bit before she settles down. Not to mention, her parents live in America. Her life is back there.”
And there it was.
The truth.
No matter her attraction to him, Thane knew that no twenty-five-year-old would want to settle down in a remote Scottish village with a man thirteen years her senior and play mum to his two children. Christ, Fran hadn’t wanted it, and she’d chosen it.
“I want her to stay,” Lewis whispered sadly.
“I know, buddy. But try not to think about her leaving. It’s not for a while yet. And she’s here now. Just enjoy having her with us for now, okay?”
Lewis nodded, but Thane knew he didn’t understand. How could he? All he knew was that a woman he cared about because she so obviously cared about him was temporary. And that made little sense to a boy who was raised on the belief that his mother loved him and hadn’t wanted to leave him and if it had been up to her, she never would have.
Knowing his son was going to take Regan’s leaving as proof she didn’t love him, Thane squeezed his eyes closed, tightened his hold on Lewis, and stayed with him until he fell asleep.
However, the longer he lay there, the more he stewed. Lewis wouldn’t have fallen asleep with tears in his eyes if Regan had treated Thane with civility and professionalism tonight. Yes, he’d been a prick at Morag’s, and he’d admit it, but she couldn’t act like that around the kids. They were too perceptive, and she should know that by now.
Unfortunately for her, when he came downstairs, she was still there.
Heat licked through him at the sight of her in her prim little dress with its not-so-prim fucking hemline. As she bent over to load the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, he caught a flash of her arse. Sadly, the thick tights she wore covered it.
She stood and shut the washer, not looking at him as she wiped down the sink. “I had a hard time getting the flour out of the couch. I don’t know how it got over there. But I got it. I cleaned everything up.” Regan threw down a dish towel and grabbed her purse off the stool at the island. “I’ll see you Monday.” Finally, she looked at him as he refused to move from her path.
Her eyes widened at whatever she read in his expression. “Are the kids okay? You were up there awhile.”
Seething, he licked his lips and took his time so he didn’t lash out at her. “You cannot give me the cold shoulder in front of the children.”
Regan narrowed her pretty eyes. “I didn’t.”
“You did. Lewis picked up on it.”
Guilt flickered across her features. “Is he okay?”
“No.” Thane took a step toward her and another as she retreated. “He’s worried about you leaving.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yet. He needs to be prepared that you’ll eventually leave. But until then,” he said, bowing his head toward her as the island forced her to stop, “I expect a civil tongue.” His gaze dipped to her mouth, and his hands clenched at his sides. “In a civil mouth … from now on. At least in front of them.”
She jutted her chin stubbornly. “Does that mean you’re going to stop acting like a crazy person?”
“Excuse me?” he bit out.
“You … did we or did we not have a discussion this morning that cleared the air, only for you to act like a jealous ass over Jared McCulloch?”
“Just like you were jealous over the idea of me sleeping with Keelie.”
She grimaced. “And round we go again. Just admit that Keelie was a ploy. You were never going to sleep with her. You’re too much of a gentleman.”
The damn woman had a way of pushing him to the boiling point with very little effort. And for some reason, it pricked his damn male pride that Regan saw him as some buttoned-up, controlled, gentlemanly figure. If only she knew.
He leaned into her, their mouths almost touching, and she inhaled sharply. “How do you know I didn’t sleep with her? A man has needs.”
Hurt flickered in her eyes, but she buried it beneath fire. That he could deal with. She pushed against his chest to move him, but he pressed deeper into her personal space.
“Did you sleep with her?” she demanded.
“No,” he immediately admitted.
Satisfaction lit her expression, and then something more dangerous. “No, because sleeping with any woman would just be an attempt to screw away your problem.”
“And what problem is that?” he asked gruffly, heat pooling in his groin.
“That you can’t stop thinking about me,” Regan whispered, lowering her hand from his chest but only so she could move her body into his. He swallowed hard at the feel of her soft curves. Her breathing hitched. “We can go around and around in circles for days, weeks … but it won’t chase this away, Thane. You want me. It isn’t convenient. It’s complicated … but it’s unavoidable.”
“You’re my children’s twenty-five-year-old nanny,” he argued, even though the fight had left him.
“You keep saying that like I’m eighteen.” She reached up to cup his cheek, her fingernails scraping along his beard. “I’m not a child, Thane. I’m a woman. For Christ’s sake, there’s ten years between Robyn and Lachlan, and no one bats an eyelash.”
“It’s different. She’s older,” he said, even as his head bent toward hers. “This is madness.”
“Then let’s just be mad,” she whispered back before pulling his head that last inch down to her mouth.
She kissed him like he was water and she had been thirsty for weeks. Ravenous, deep, wild kisses that ignited his blood. Her hands were just as hungry, searching beneath his sweater. His stomach contracted as her cool fingers caressed his bare skin, and he groaned, losing all control.
He took over the kiss as he wrapped a hand tight around her nape and devoured her, while his other slid down her slender back and under her dress to cup her tight arse. He kissed her harder, reveling in the way she took as good as he gave, her thumbs rubbing his nipples.
Pleasure pain radiated from where his dick strained against his jeans zipper. Irritated by the tights in his way, he pushed down into them so he could cup one of her supple, round cheeks in his hand. He bent his knees ever so slightly as he pulled her into his erection, wanting inside her so badly he was about to come like a callow youth.
“Fuck.” He broke the kiss and released her.
Her hands were still under his top as she stared up at him, flushed, aroused. Confused.
Her fingers moved over his chest and just that simple touch sent a lightning bolt through his groin.
Thane squeezed his eyes closed as he reluctantly reached under his sweater to remove her hands.
“Thane?” Regan whispered.
He wanted to hear her scream his name as she came, not whisper it in confusion and worry.
She was right. They could go around and around, denying what they wanted and having multiple jealous fights over the course of the next few months. Or … he could have of her what he could before she left him.
His eyes flew open, anticipation thrumming through his blood as he made up his mind.
Regan stared unblinkingly at him, waiting for his next move.
“Just sex,” he said gruffly. “No promises, and no one can know.”
Surprise slackened her features. She hesitated so long, he could barely hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. Then to his relief, Regan nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Satisfaction slammed through him, and it took every ounce of willpower within him to not pick her up and throw her down on his sofa to have his way with her. Instead, he thought of her misconceptions about him as a gentleman. Best to disprove her of that now. “Go wait for me in the annex,” he demanded. Her eyes widened slightly. “Clothes off. Keep your underwear on because I want to take it off. And lights on so I can see you. When I get there, I expect you on the bed with your legs spread.”
Her chest heaved with surprise; her nostrils flared with arousal.
He leaned down to brush his mouth over hers. “I need to make sure the house is secure.” His hand slipped under her dress, and he touched the damp heat between her legs, making her bow into him with a moan. He licked at her lips, and she tried to chase him with her mouth, but he retreated, taunting her. Then he rubbed her through her tights and underwear, and she gasped. “Don’t touch yourself until I get there. Your orgasms are mine now.”
Before he lost his mind and just took her against the island, he strode quietly upstairs to check on the kids once more.
Doubts niggled at the back of his mind.
What people would think if they knew the gossip was now reality …
How they desperately needed to keep this from the kids …
What a selfish bastard he was letting his desire dictate his actions.
But Thane ignored the doubts … especially the one that whispered how, if it was just about physical attraction, he’d never jeopardize his reputation, his honor. If it was just about screwing some hot young thing, he could do that anytime.
It was about her.
Regan.
About burying everything inside her and watching her shatter around him with the immensity of it.
And doing it for as long as he had her.
No matter what it cost.