There With You by Samantha Young
Regan
Blisters chafed in gnawing pain at the back of my heels and along my toes as I finally turned down the narrow country road that led to the impressive contemporary homes in the distance. I could hear the sea and smell the salt in the air.
The distance from Ardnoch village to Caelmore didn’t seem like much when I was in the car. It’s why I’d insisted, after Robyn dropped me off this morning, that I could walk back. She’d offered a pair of her hiking boots, but I’d refused because she wore a size bigger than me, and I thought that would be worse. I was wrong. Thinking of the hiking boots I’d left back in Boston, along with half of my belongings, I whimpered as I limped along the private, packed-dirt road.
“Screw it.” I kicked off my heels and sighed in relief as my swollen, hot feet met cool earth.
Bending to collect the Mary Janes I’d assumed would be better than the stilettos I’d brought, I cursed my love of heels and dresses. In my rush to leave, I’d stupidly left all my backpacking gear behind. A cheap flight meant the inability to take luggage over a certain weight. I’d brought a tiny suitcase, and there was not a pair of sneakers or flats to be found in it. If I was going to stay, that would have to change.
Though, it was doubtful I could stay if I didn’t find a job soon. I’d spent all morning and part of the afternoon charming every shop, café, and restaurant owner in the village.
Ardnoch was the quaintest place I’d ever been.
A main square with a large parking lot for visitors was central to Ardnoch. I’d discovered on my employment quest that the shops, restaurants, hotels, and bed-and-breakfasts were scattered throughout the village on cute row streets.
The historical architecture and design was amazing. Prior to coming here, I’d stalked Robyn’s Instagram for her new photos, so I’d seen Ardnoch through her lens. But seeing it in real life was even better. I knew from my sister’s photo captions that all the buildings here predated the mid-twentieth century, and dominating it all, near the Gloaming—the town’s biggest hotel, right on the square—was a medieval cathedral. The main thoroughfare of Ardnoch was called Castle Street. Guessing it was so named since it was the road that led out of the village toward Ardnoch Castle and Estate.
Castle Street was an avenue of identical nineteenth-century terraced houses with dormer windows. A lot of the homes had been converted into boutiques, cafés, and inns. Off Castle Street were identical row streets with fewer converted businesses. Still, I left no stone unturned and walked the four-block radius before it became apparent the rest of the buildings were residential.
No one was hiring.
It was the end of the summer, and soon they would let go the temporary staff they’d hired for the tourist season. How could an entire village not need new employees? No servers, no shop assistants, no cleaners, nothing!
And after the increasingly awkward and tension-filled interactions with Robyn over the weekend, there was no other option but to get a job and move out of Lachlan’s house. I knew she wanted me to stay, but I didn’t think it was a good idea.
Lachlan was a quiet one. I still hadn’t figured him out. All I knew so far was that he watched over Robyn like a man ready to take a bullet for her. With me, he was a different kind of watchful. Sometimes, it was like he saw too much.
Like how much of a coward I was.
I still couldn’t bring myself to broach the subject of me disappearing on Robyn. At least now she was talking to me. What if she really hated me after I explained what had been going on in my head? She might think it was as pathetic an excuse as I did.
She’d see once and for all how codependent I was.
How not brave I was.
It wasn’t easy being a coward and even more difficult when your big sister was fearless.
Except she seemed to tiptoe around the elephant in the room as much as I did. That realization made me even more nervous. But at least it was all a giant distraction from the bastard who’d plagued my life for eight months.
The thought juddered through me, and I immediately threw it out.
The sound of an engine at my back helped with the disposal of bad thoughts, and I glanced over my shoulder to see a green Defender moving slowly toward me. Wondering who it could be, I stepped into the grass at the side of the road and leaned as far back as I could to allow the vehicle to pass. Instead, it slowed, a blond woman at the wheel.
She rolled to a stop and I heard, “Regan!” from the back seat.
Eilidh pushed her face between the blond woman’s seat and the empty passenger seat. Lewis’s head hovered above hers.
“Hey, guys.” I grinned. “How’s it going?”
“I got Best Drawing today!” Eilidh beamed.
I leaned against the passenger door. “Great job! I’m not surprised. Superstars tend to win a lot.” She giggled at my wink, and I turned to Lewis. “Hey, buddy. How are you?”
He shrugged but gave me a small smile before he gestured to the woman at the wheel. “This is Aunt Arrochar.”
The sole Adair sister. I’d been curious to meet her after hearing Robyn speak so fondly of her.
“Hey, I’m Robbie’s sister, Regan.”
Arrochar leaned over and popped open the door. “Get in.”
“Thanks.” I hopped in and noted her gaze on my feet. “Wrong shoe choice. I walked from the village.”
She raised light blond eyebrows above striking, pale-blue eyes. “If you intend to stay here, we’ll need to get you proper walking boots.” She stuck out a slim hand. “Like Lewis said, I’m Arrochar. Lachlan and Thane’s sister. It’s nice to meet you, Regan.”
I shook her hand and felt a tap on my shoulder. Eilidh grinned cheekily at me.
“I told my friends about the fairy dust in your cheeks. Anna says her big sister Rosie has the same ones in her cheeks, but no one told her about the fairy dust. She can’t wait to tell Rosie.”
I chuckled. “I’m sure it will come as a surprise to her.”
“Eilidh, sit back, sweetie, we’re not home yet,” Arrochar ordered quietly. Her niece did as she was told.
“Where’s Thane?” I asked the aunt. From first impressions, we couldn’t be more unalike. Her platinum-blond hair was so much lighter than the sandy color of her siblings that I’d guess it was dyed. It was the only thing about her that suggested appearance was important. I’d dressed in an impractical short dress in the mod silhouette I favored, my makeup and hair done. Arrochar had her long hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. As far as I could see, she wore only mascara, and her clothes were definitely utilitarian. Jeans, lightweight blue-plaid shirt with a white T-shirt beneath, and Converse.
And yet the ordinary clothes did nothing to distract from her striking features. She wasn’t classically pretty; she was something more. I wasn’t sure if it was her eye color or the way she held herself or what … but Arrochar Adair was an unusual kind of beautiful.
If she sensed my perusal, she ignored it as she responded to my question about Thane. “Inverness at his new job. He can’t find a nanny, so I offered to take a few days off work to look after the kids so he can find someone. Pronto.”
I frowned. He’d made his sister take time off work when he had a perfectly responsible adult with a lot of time on her hands around to help? Not wanting to utter my irritation in front of the kids, I pressed my lips tight.
Arrochar spoke as we pulled into Thane’s driveway. “You’re not at all what I expected.”
“Because I’m not Lara Croft’s younger replica?”
She snorted and threw me an appreciative grin. “Pretty much.”
I rolled my eyes but chuckled as I eased out of the Defender, grateful Thane’s driveway was paved and not gravel.
“Can Regan come play with me, Aunt Arro?” Eilidh asked around the other side of the vehicle as they got out.
“I’m sure Regan has plans.”
“I really don’t.” I walked around the SUV to join the threesome. “If I’m not intruding, that is.”
“Not at all,” Arrochar assured. “But”—she gave Lewis a pointed look—“you will do your homework first.” She turned to me. “Eilidh doesn’t get homework. They’ve introduced a new style of teaching since I was a bairn and primary one is a lot like nursery now. I don’t get it. I could handle homework when I was five.”
I didn’t have time to offer an opinion about how not all kids were at the same stage developmentally at five because Eilidh rushed to me and grabbed my hand.
“Come on, Regan.” She tugged me forward, overjoyed to have me there.
A tender ache echoed in my chest as I let her lead me toward the house. Catching Arrochar’s curious look, I saw a hint of bemusement in her expression.
Lewis waited for us at the house, and as Arrochar let us in, he said, “I told Connor we should stop saying Mrs. Welsh smells when it isn’t true.”
I tried not to raise an eyebrow. “And what did Connor say?”
He wrinkled his nose. “He called me the teacher’s pet.”
Oh, shit.
“But then Mrs. Welsh was mean to him for no reason. She made him read out a chapter of the book we’re reading, and he isn’t so fast and she kept being mean and telling him to read faster. And I told her she was being mean to him. So me and Connor are okay now.”
I met Arrochar’s gaze, and she said, “Tell her what happened next, Lewis.”
Frustration crossed his face. “We both got sent to Mrs. Cooley’s office.”
At my questioning look, Arrochar supplied, “The head teacher.”
“What? What for?”
“For being disrespectful,” she replied as she guided the kids to the kitchen. “You can grab a snack before you start your homework.”
“Surely that’s not fair if the boys weren’t in the wrong,” I said quietly as Lewis and Eilidh hurried ahead into the kitchen.
Their aunt turned to me. “It isn’t fair. Mrs. Welsh spoke to both me and Connor’s mum first without explaining the situation. The kids told us exactly what happened once we came out of the classroom, and Connor’s mum lost her shit,” she whispered, her eyes sparking with anger. “She’s filing a complaint with the head teacher. But in the heat of the argument, Lewis called Mrs. Welsh names, and that’s not on, so Thane will need to have a chat with him.”
It didn’t sit right with me that he should be vilified in this scenario, but he also shouldn’t call his teacher names. “Rock, meet hard place,” I muttered under my breath.
“Exactly.”
“Aunt Arro, I can’t reach the peanut butter!” Eilidh yelled from the kitchen.
We caught up with the kids to help them. For two strangers, we fell into a companionable sync as we prepared a light snack for Eilidh and Lewis and settled them at the dining table. Afterward, Arrochar gave me some salve and Band-Aids for my battered feet.
“So.” Arrochar smiled curiously as we sat beside each other at the island with coffees. “What brings you to Ardnoch?”
Right to it, huh? I smirked. “My sister.”
“Aye, that visit is long overdue.”
I raised an eyebrow at her directness, and she shrugged. “Sorry. None of my business. But you should know I’m not just Lachlan’s sister. I’ve become very fond of Robyn.”
The warning made me bristle. “Well, I’m more than fond of Robbie. I love her more than I love anything.”
“Does she know that?”
I jerked back like she’d slapped me.
Arrochar winced. “Regan, I’m sor—”
“Regan! Can you help me with my homework?” Eilidh yelled across the large living space.
Her aunt sighed. “You don’t have homework, Eils. You just want Regan’s attention.”
Eilidh’s answer was to scrunch up her face and growl in a deep voice, “Spoilsport.”
I looked away so she couldn’t see me laugh.
“Don’t give me the monster voice, Eilidh Francine Adair. Why don’t you finish the new drawing you started in class? It’s my turn to chat with Regan. You’ll get yours later.”
That seemed to settle her.
“Monster voice?” I asked quietly.
Arrochar snorted, her pale eyes sparkling with amusement. “About a year ago she started saying stuff in a deep voice that cracks us up. We call it her monster voice, but we do not know where she picked it up. It’s just intrinsically Eilidh. She’s a bit weird, which means she fits in perfectly with the rest of us Adairs.”
“She’s adorable.” I watched her and Lewis, heads bent over their work. “They both are.”
“My brother is doing a fantastic job,” Arrochar said, pride in her voice.
Thinking of Thane and his dead wife, sadness filled my tone. “I can’t imagine having to raise two kids after losing the love of my life.”
“It was difficult.” Arrochar turned to me, keeping her voice low so the kids couldn’t hear. “He was still with a company in Inverness back then, so he hired a nanny. She was around until Eilidh turned two and Thane decided to go freelance. He’s juggled work and raising them for the past three years, but it’s been a struggle. I know it wasn’t a straightforward decision for him to return to working with a company. He doesn’t like the idea of his children being raised by a nanny. It was never what he and Fran intended.”
“Was Fran a stay-at-home mom?”
“She was a maths teacher. She was from the Borders originally. They met at university, and she loved Thane enough to follow him back to the Highlands. Luckily, she got a job at the local high school. I’m sure Lachlan had something to do with that. My eldest brother isn’t above nepotism.” She smiled fondly and then shadows entered her eyes. “Thane and Fran were the happiest people I knew. They designed this house together. Lewis was born just as the construction was completed. Fran had barely returned from maternity leave when she fell pregnant with Eilidh, and she decided to quit her job. Be a full-time mum. Thane would never have asked it of her, but I know he was relieved there would always be someone around. We didn’t have that, you see,” she said so softly, it was almost a whisper. “Our mum died after giving birth to me. Thane was six years old. Our dad kind of checked out for a while. Lachlan and Thane practically raised me. Anyway.” She shook her head. “Thane wanted something different for Eilidh and Lewis.”
My heart broke for them all, realizing life had repeated itself. “I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “What can you do? It is what it is.”
“Can I ask … how Fran died?”
Arrochar winced but before she could respond, Lewis called over suspiciously, “What are you guys whispering about?”
We tensed for a second, then I grinned at him. “Girl stuff.”
He wrinkled his nose and turned back to his homework like I suspected he might.
Arrochar chuckled. “You’re good with them.”
“I used to nanny. During summers at college.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “I don’t suppose you’re looking for a job, are you?”
“I’ve spent all afternoon looking for a job.”
“Huh. Does Thane know you nanny?”
“Yup.” I raised an eyebrow. “But I think my sister might have filled his head with the notion that I’m irresponsible.”
“Are you?”
I studied the way she studied me and decided I liked Arrochar Adair. There was no judgment in her expression, even though I was sure she’d been told just as much about me as Thane had. She was blunt and direct, but I appreciated that. And it seemed to me she was the kind of person who liked to make up her own mind about people, which I respected.
“No. Fundamentally, no.” I shook my head. “I have been impulsive in the past, but I’m not sure irresponsibility always goes hand in hand with that trait. Besides, believe me when I say something recently cured me of my impulsivity. And yeah, I haven’t been there for Robyn when I should have been. I have an excuse. It isn’t a great one … but I’d hate to think that one mistake will be held against me for the rest of my life.”
Arrochar considered this. “You should talk to Mac. I think he, more than anyone, will understand whatever it is you’re going through when it comes to Robyn.”
Anger flushed through me. “I haven’t been there for my sister these past eighteen months. That’s not the same as a father abandoning his child.”
“Mac didn’t abandon her,” Arrochar bit back. “It’s more complicated than that, something you’d know if you’d been around for Robyn to tell you.”
I stifled the urge to argue. Instead, I wondered at her vehement defense of Mac. “There seems to be a lot I don’t know,” I eventually replied.
The stiffness eased from her shoulders. “Sorry for snapping. I just … I’m protective of Mac. What happened with Robyn … it was a pain he carried for a long time. Finally, things are good between them. I don’t want anyone to upset that.”
“I’m not here to tear shreds out of Mac,” I assured her, though I was curious to discover what had gone down between him and my sister. “I’m here to put things right with Robyn. And to do that, I need to stick around—to stick around, I need a job.”
“Aunt Arro, is it my turn yet?” Eilidh called over, cutting through the intensity of the moment.
Thankfully.
Arrochar rolled her eyes. “Your presence is required.”
Laughing, I hopped off the stool to give Eilidh my time.
* * *
While Arro prepared dinner, I hung out with Eilidh on the couch. An animation was on the TV, but Eilidh was too busy playing with my hair and chatting about her friends to pay attention. The only time she did was when a character started singing a song and she stopped to sing along with them.
Arro and I cheered and clapped after every one of her renditions.
Lewis was allowed to play video games, preapproved by his father, for one hour before dinner each day, so he’d disappeared into his bedroom to do that while we girls hung out downstairs.
I was pretty sure my hair was a ratty bird’s nest from Eilidh’s ministrations, but it made her happy, so I wasn’t going to be precious about it.
She was in the middle of asking me if she could call me “Ree-Ree” when the sound of the front door slamming jolted her attention from me. “Daddy!” she squealed and took off out of the room.
“How’s my wee Eilidh-Bug?” he replied moments later in that deep, gravelly voice.
The tenderness in his voice was a beautiful thing to hear.
Eilidh’s answering chatter was so fast I couldn’t make it out, even as Thane strode into the open-plan room with his daughter settled on his hip. He stared down into her face with such love, I vowed in that very moment to find a guy who would look at our kids just like that.
“Is that right?” he murmured in response to whatever she’d said.
“And Ree-Ree let me play with her hair for ages!”
Apparently, I was Ree-Ree now, permission granted or not.
Arrochar and I shared an amused look.
“Ree-Ree?” Thane frowned and then glanced into the room. He stiffened when he saw me. “Regan?”
“Hey.” I waved, knowing I probably looked like a lunatic because of whatever Eilidh had done to my hair.
“Hi,” Arrochar said, drawing his attention. “Dinner is almost ready. I picked up Regan on her way back from the village. The kids asked her to hang out with us.”
“Right, right.” He nodded, his eyes coming back to me. “Are you staying for dinner?”
There wasn’t exactly a welcoming tone to his question. “No. I should get back. Robyn will wonder where I am.” I hoped. She hadn’t texted me all day.
“But.” Arrochar strode toward her brother and tugged Eilidh out of his arms and into hers. “Regan would like to discuss something with you in private.”
I would? I frowned at her.
She made a face and then mouthed, “Nanny.”
Right.
Usually I wouldn’t badger someone about a job he clearly didn’t want to give to me, but I was running out of options. And honestly, the idea of some Gordanna Redburn nanny looking after Eilidh and Lewis pissed me off. At least with me they’d be safe, cared for, and having fun.
“Right.” I jumped to my feet, stalking toward their father. “Yeah, can we talk?”
His eyebrows were still puckered, but he nodded and gestured for me to follow him. He led me to a room off the entrance that I hadn’t been in before.
The small space overlooked the fields beyond the driveway. It held a desk with a smart desktop computer, neatly piled papers, bookshelves filled with folders, and walls with framed house plans. His office.
He closed the door and turned to me. Without Eilidh in his arms, I finally noticed his attire. Instead of the rugged sweater and jeans I’d only ever seen him in, he wore a dark gray shirt, open at the collar, with a pair of black suit pants. He had not, however, trimmed his beard or his hair, and the overall look was incongruously appealing.
“Well?” Thane said.
I placed my hands on my hips and gave him what I hoped was a charming smile. “You need a nanny. And I need a job.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “I’ve spent all day looking.” I stuck out one of my bare, sore feet. Thane looked at it in consternation. “I cut my feet walking all over the village and back in search of a crappy job. And all the while, here in this gorgeous house, are two amazing kids who get along with me, and they need a nanny.”
Their father’s eyes traveled back up my body from my feet to my face. “Regan—”
“Before you say no again, let me email you my references. I am an exceptional nanny with impressive experience. I used to nanny for the mayor of Providence and his wife.”
Thane drew in a breath. “Regan—”
“Lewis actually talks to me, and Arro says that’s unusual for him. And I’m pretty sure Eilidh and I are twins born nineteen years apart. Though”—I gestured to whatever was happening with my hair—“I need to give her some styling lessons for sure.”
His lips twitched. “Regan—”
“I would never do anything to hurt them,” I said in all seriousness. “They need someone. You need help. I’m offering it, and you can trust that the offer comes from a good place.”
“Not an entirely altruistic place, though.”
I shrugged. “I’ve never lied about needing a job. But this wouldn’t feel like a job. Except for the cooking and cleaning part, of course. But the kid part, no. They’re wonderful kids.”
“On their good days.”
“All kids have ups and downs. I know it’s difficult.” I took a step toward him and hated how he seemed to tense warily. “I nannied for this one little boy whose parents treated him as if he were a social accessory. Trotted him out to display to their friends and then had the nanny trot him back out of sight again when he wasn’t required. Which was most of the time. I’ve never met a child with bigger trust issues, and being a nanny to a kid who doesn’t trust you or anyone is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Almost as difficult as stemming the urge to berate his parents for neglect … but that’s another story.
“My point is … Eilidh and Lewis are loved, and it shows. They’re good kids who will have tantrums on days they’re tired or hungry or frustrated and not sure why. That’s kids. I know that. I’m prepared for it. Besides, Robyn is their aunt now. If you want reassurance I’ll take this job seriously, you have it, because I won’t do anything else to hurt my sister or the people she cares about. I’m a much better solution to your problem than some nanny who’s only here to cash her paycheck.”
Thane studied me so long after my little speech, I squirmed.
Finally, he replied, “First, let me talk to Robyn. I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but if offering you a job is a problem for her, then I can’t do it.”
As much as I understood and was grateful he was looking out for Robyn, I couldn’t help but experience a niggle of hurt at the very idea my sister would stand in my way. I didn’t let it show. Instead, I nodded. “I get it.”
His expression softened. “Good. Now I’m sure your sister is looking for you.” His eyes flickered to my hair, his mirth obvious. “And you best sort that,” he said, gesturing to my head, “before it stays like that permanently.”
I patted my head, suddenly dreading looking in a mirror.