Don’t Fall for the Doctor by Lacey Bolt
Chapter 25
Michael sat up in bed two hours before his alarm went off the next morning. His muscles ached from tossing and turning all night. He barely slept.
What was he thinking last night? Had he learned nothing from medical school? Dating didn’t work for him. He couldn’t be a doctor and be in a relationship. The cost of dating was too steep.
He turned on the shower, letting the water run cold. He needed to clear his brain, so he shed his clothes and stepped in. It was frigid and gave him the jolt he needed. He tensed his muscles, resolving to stay under the cold stream and not adjust the temperature.
He managed to wash his hair and body before his fingers started going numb. He stepped out of the shower, shivering slightly, and walked back to his bedroom. He groaned. The cold shower hadn’t worked. He glanced at his phone to check the temperature outside. The mornings were still generally chilly, and this morning was no exception. He put on a sweatshirt, a pair of gym shorts, and his running shoes.
With any luck, the run would work better than the cold shower. There was a steep hill a mile from his apartment, which was perfect for sprinting up and down. He headed in that direction, accelerating from a jog to a sprint. He would probably be winded before he even reached the hill.
He needed to get to that hill. His mind was already starting to go into overdrive, and he needed to push those thoughts out. Run until it was too hard to think. Needed to gain some focus and control.
He couldn’t keep thinking about Ashley and their date. Their kiss. He thought he could handle dating her. How could he have been so blind? He should have just let her continue to think that he was the shallow doctor who talked down to her at work. He should have let her just live her own life without trying to get her attention or her approval. He should have . . .
He picked up his pace even more, pounding the pavement with his feet. No one was out at this time of morning to witness his punishing run—no one to witness his pain.
There was no good way to end things with Ashley now. He couldn’t imagine hurting her, but he also couldn’t be with her. He had tried dating in the past. He didn’t want to be alone forever, but the truth was that people depended on him for survival. If he didn’t have a laser-like focus on work, people would die.
How could he have a sharp focus when Ashley’s mere presence took control of his every thought?
He rounded the last corner before reaching the bottom of the steep hill and stopped suddenly. A large barricade blocked the road. Construction. He leaned forward and placed his hands on his knees to catch his breath. The sidewalk and street were all torn up. Even if he ignored the barricade and ran around it, he’d surely sprain an ankle if he tried to run on the rough and uneven street.
His muscles started to ache from the sudden stop and the cold air. He needed to do something. The tightening in his chest was probably from running, but it didn’t feel right. He needed to start moving again before something bad happened. He needed to stay in control. He needed to keep the panic attack away.
He turned around and started jogging again, letting his muscles stretch. The surrounding streets weren’t nearly as steep as the one that was closed for construction. He ran up one street and then another, as fast as he could, but the hills weren’t enough of a challenge. His legs and lungs weren’t burning enough. He needed something more if he was going to block his thoughts.
Were there any steep hills by Ashley’s apartment? Her place was a few miles away from his, but he could probably manage the run there and back. Would she be awake this early? He could stop by a coffee shop near her place and surprise her with an early morning coffee. She probably looked cute when she woke up in the morning with messy hair and—he shook his head and turned down another street, running in the opposite direction from where she lived.
He could find a way to make things work. He could find that balance between managing work and having a personal life. Other people did it. He could do it too.