The Liar Next Door by Nicola Marsh

Fifty-Seven

Celeste

The conversation I overheard at the last play date, when Vi told Luna she wanted a sibling, is haunting me. At the time I considered calling Roland, a silly move that won’t end well, before pushing it out of my mind and busying myself with work, Saylor’s baby shower and spending as much time as possible with Violette.

I know she’s lonely at times with just me for company but I try to fill her days with online educational shows and new toys. It feels like I’m buying her affection sometimes and that I’m overcompensating somehow, but I want my darling girl to be happy. She misses her dad and maybe I need to push aside my qualms about contacting him and suck it up for my daughter’s sake.

I wait until she’s asleep before heading downstairs to pour myself a glass of wine. I gulp half the Chardonnay before picking up my cell and bringing up Roland’s number.

I mentally rehearse what I’m going to say. Crazy, because I know when I hear his voice I’ll probably break down in tears. My thumb hovers over the number and I end up draining my wine glass before I tap it. My chest is tight, my palms slick with sweat, as I count the number of dial tones, belatedly realizing he won’t answer once he sees my number on the screen. He’ll let my call go through to voicemail. I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved when it does.

“Hi, Roland, it’s me. Considering how we ended things, I’m the last person you want to hear from. But Violette misses you. And no matter how bad our relationship turned, I’m sure you’re sorry for what you said the last time we saw each other and I’m sorry for taking Vi away. She needs you. I hope she can visit one day soon when we’re both ready. In the meantime, we’ve settled into a new home and we have great neighbors. Vi’s good friends with the girl next door, who’s the same age. I sometimes wish you were here to see how your daughter is thriving.” I realize I’m getting carried away and try to refocus. “I guess we both have to take responsibility for how badly we ended… I know you love Violette but we had to get away. I hope you understand why.”

I hang up, tears coursing down my cheeks, the pain in my chest expanding to unbearable.

He won’t call me back. I know because no matter what I say now, nothing will change the vile way things ended between us.

But at least I’ve called and given him some hope of a possible visit. He’ll want to see Vi even if I’m the last person he wants to acknowledge.

As soon as Saylor’s baby shower is done, maybe it’s time I instigate steps for Vi to visit her dad.