Forbidden Hunger by R.L. Kenderson

Twenty-Six

Raven droppedher bag down in her room and fell onto her bed. It felt good to be back home with the other shifters. And while she was excited to find out what had happened to Monica and her brother while she was gone, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

After the end of her heat, she had fallen asleep. When she’d woken again, she had been alone in the bedroom, so she had gone to look for Chase and Ranulf. There hadn’t been any sign of them, except for the clean kitchen and a note on the counter.

They’d had to leave to help Damien, but they would see her later.

At the time, she hadn’t cared too much because she was still tired. She’d found some food to eat, taken a quick shower, and thrown the bedding into the wash. She’d packed her suitcase and waited to put the sheets in the dryer before she left.

But now that she was back, it dawned on her that she’d left for her parents’ house alone and come home alone. She knew that Ranulf and Chase cared about her, but she felt almost…used. She almost wished they had just left her by herself because she had loved being with them too much. And how was she supposed to go back to the way things had been before? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to.

She felt different. Changed. She looked down at her stomach. Of course, that could have to do with the swelling in her belly. She’d been mostly trying to ignore it, knowing it wouldn’t last. She hadn’t even looked in the mirror when she showered, afraid she’d stand there and admire herself too much.

There was a knock at her door, and Kendall poked her head in. “Hey. I thought I’d heard you come home.”

Raven quickly sat up. “Come in.” She didn’t know if Kendall and the others were aware that she’d been with Ranulf and Chase the last few days, so she thought it best to hide her stomach. Except she blanked out the most obvious thing.

“Wow. You smell like both of them,” Kendall said as she came over and sat on Raven’s bed. “You’re the only female I know who’s been with two men, so I want to know all the details.”

Raven relaxed. “So, you already knew?”

Kendall frowned. “Yes. Damien told us that Ranulf and Chase went to be with you.”

“Oh.” Since it wasn’t a secret, she fell back on the mattress again. “I didn’t think they’d told anyone.”

Kendall didn’t answer. Her eyes opened wide as she stared at Raven’s belly.

Raven tried to cover it with her hands.

“Oh my God. You look as big as me.”

Raven shot her friend a look. “We both know that’s not true. You’re about to pop. And you have a baby in you. My stomach will go down in a few days. I’m sure I’ll start bleeding tomorrow even.” It’d always happened soon after her heat in the past.

“I don’t know. Those boys really did a number on you. I wasn’t that big after my mating heat.”

A weird feeling whipped through her body, but she didn’t want to acknowledge it. “Your mating heat was a little different.”

Kendall sighed. “That’s true. I spent most of it miserable and in pain.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how much more powerful it was with a male around. And the fact that you and Eldon kept your hands off each other shows how strong you are. You’re a badass, Kendall.”

Her friend blushed but then said, “I kind of am, aren’t I?”

The two of them laughed until Kendall jumped. “Oh.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just got kicked.” She moved closer to Raven and pointed to a spot on her abdomen. “Here. Feel.”

Raven put her hand on Kendall’s belly, and after a few seconds, she felt the baby kick. “That’s so cool.”

Kendall smiled dreamily. “It is. Sometimes, I can’t believe there’s a whole shifter growing inside me.”

Raven looked down at herself. She remembered thinking a week ago, she wasn’t ready for kids, and now, she was feeling sad about not being pregnant. Couple that with thinking during her heat about what a little Ranulf and a little Chase might look like, and she didn’t know what to make of herself.

“The hormones suck, huh?” Kendall said.

“What?”

“The hormones. The ones that make us have sex, but also the ones that kick into gear to urge us to be a mother. It’s rough.”

Raven curled her lip. “I don’t like it.”

Kendall laughed. “I think it will go away.”

“I hope so because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t.”

“How so?”

Raven almost told Kendall how she felt about Ranulf and Chase, but she stopped herself. It would feel too real if she said it out loud. And like Kendall had said, the hormones would go away. Maybe her feelings would, too.

She was about to spout out some bullshit when there was a loud hoot that traveled through the house.

Raven sat up. “I think we need to go and see what is going on.”

Kendall stood. “I agree. Do you think that was a good noise or a bad noise?”

“Hard to tell.”

The two females walked downstairs to find Damien, Lachlan, and Eldon already there. Lachlan was hunched over his computer, and Damien had his phone to his ear.

Kendall walked over to her mate and slid her arm around his waist. “What’s going on?” she said in a low voice.

“The tracker is on the move,” Eldon said in an equal tone.

This got Raven’s attention. “Tracker? What tracker?” Her heart rate sped up at the thought of closing in on Monica.

Eldon frowned down at Kendall. “Didn’t you tell her what was going on?”

She smiled awkwardly. “I kind of forgot.”

“You forgot?” Raven said too loudly, and Damien shot her a look. “Sorry,” she said to her alpha. “You forgot?” she asked her friend again but in a hushed voice.

“I have pregnancy brain. You try remembering everything when someone is sucking your life force out of you.”

Raven simply stared at her for a few seconds and then looked up at Eldon. “Eldon?”

“There was a fight tonight. Frank didn’t show up, but they put a tracker on Hunter’s contact. We’re hoping that leads to Frank and Monica.”

“Oh my God, I need to go.”

Kendall stepped away from her mate and in front of Raven. “Raven, they have it handled.”

She ground her teeth together. “Who has it handled?”

“Quentin, Hunter, Chase, and Ranulf are there.”

“Also, Vance sent Saxon and Ram,” Eldon chimed in.

She felt like she’d been punched in the gut. This was what Ranulf and Chase had gone to help Damien with. And they hadn’t even told her.

She hurried over to Lachlan. “Give me the location,” she bit out.

Lachlan looked up from his computer and over to Damien.

“Tell me, Lachlan.” She was ready to wrestle his computer from him, but he still didn’t answer.

He looked down at her stomach, and she felt sick. First, her heat had stopped her from helping, and now, they were going to tell her no because they wanted to make sure she wasn’t pregnant. She understood it. Shifters took a long time to get pregnant, so every pregnancy was protected. But right now, she didn’t know if she wanted to keep a baby from either of the men who’d betrayed her. They knew how important this mission was to her.

She leaned over, grabbed Lachlan by the collar, and said, “Fucking tell me now. I’m not pregnant, and even if I were, this theoretical child is no more important than all the girls suffering under Monica.”

“Raven,” Damien snapped. “Let him go.”

She reluctantly did so and straightened. She slowly pivoted toward her alpha. “Damien, I have every right to be there.”

“You’re right. You do.”

She lost some of her grit. She hadn’t expected that. “I do?”

“Yes, but the fact of the matter is, the ones I sent are close to the vehicle they’re tracking. You will not make it in time. They are much closer.” He looked down at her abdomen as well. “And I will support you, no matter what you decide, but if you are pregnant, is this something you are willing to risk when there are others who can go in your place?”

Despite thinking moments earlier that she didn’t want to have either Chase’s or Ranulf’s baby, she knew deep down that she didn’t want to risk anything. But she was too pissed off to say it.

So, she stomped away and yelled, “I hate being a woman.”