Ruined Sinner by Becker Gray

Chapter Fifteen

Aurora

Ilay in my bed that night, staring at the ceiling. Sometimes I wished I had a roommate like Tanith or Sera or Sloane, someone to talk to, someone to keep me from feeling like a single boat drifting alone at sea.

But tonight I was grateful for the solitude. After speaking out loud about what had happened with Chad, I felt peeled apart, cracked open. Like I’d had open-heart surgery and the surgeon had forgotten to close up my ribcage and sew me back together. I felt so raw, so shaky, and the only thing I wanted was—

Phin.

I wanted Phin. Phin who wanted me back—Phin who loved me.

Somehow, the sinner who’d broken my heart time and time again—who’d gone toe-to-toe with me in the war of who could hurt each other the most—had become the one person I trusted above all else. Somehow, he’d become the person who saw me, who saw all of me, the broken, fragile edges and the armored parts, and the strength and the wildness too.

Somehow I’d known tonight that I could tell him the truth about what had happened and he wouldn’t see me as any less fierce, any less strong.

And I wanted him. I wanted him there with me in my bed, covering me with his big body and kissing me and touching me. I wanted him there to remind me and prove to me that my pleasure was always, always my own, and that it couldn’t be stolen away. I wanted him over me and against me and inside me.

I wanted to do what I should have done two years ago and embrace being completely and totally into love with Phineas Yates.

I flung off my covers and slid out of bed, hunting for my boots and some shorts. I had to see him right now. I had to see him and touch him and maybe even tell him that at some point I’d stopped caring how much he’d hurt me in the past. At some point, I’d begun thinking of a future.

And if he wanted to continue bribing me with orgasms and castle dates and valiant searches through the woods to make sure I was safe, well then, all the better.

Before I could find my boots, I heard a quiet knock on my window. I looked over and through the curtains saw Phineas perched on the ledge outside.

I scurried over and swung the window open. “Bloody hell, Phin! I’m on the second floor!”

“You do it all the time,” he pointed out, as he managed to somehow wedge his big body through the frame.

“Yes, but I’m not over six feet tall with shoulders like an Olympic swimmer’s,” I said. “I’m limber.”

He stepped into the room, the moonlight making him all silver and shadows. “Yeah, you are,” he said, his voice rough and playful and so very Phin all at once, and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand it at all. I stepped into him and pressed my lips against his.

For a moment, he stiffened. And then he slowly exhaled as I licked at the seam of his mouth, parting his lips to let me taste inside. “Aurora,” he said. His voice was softer now, but still so very rough, and I realized there would never be a version of him that was entirely safe in the way some people wanted safety. His hungers would always be close to the surface, his needs, and so would his obsession with me.

And I loved it. I loved it so much.

Safe? Safe was boring.

I’d take the Hellfire brand of love any day.

I could feel his heart thumping under my palm where it rested against his chest, only his thin pajama shirt separating me from his warm skin. It was beating fast, and already I could feel his erection swelling against me.

“Shh.” I nipped at his lower lip as I pushed him back toward my bed. “Shh now.”

I shoved him down on the bed so that he was sitting on it, and then I straddled his lap, sliding my hands in his thick hair and cinching my fingers tight as I ground my pussy against him. With nothing but his pajama pants and my knickers in the way, it was incredible. I could feel him against me, the hardness of him, the heat of him. I wondered if he could feel me too.

He gave a low noise as I rocked over him again, his hands going to my hips to hold me tight to him, slowly pushing me back and forth, back and forth, each movement rubbing my cunt against his length and giving my clit enough friction to have my nipples like little pebbles under my tank top.

I kept my hands in his hair, tilting his face for a kiss, which he gave me with dirty abandon. The kind of kiss that should rightfully be against a pussy, with a searching tongue and long sucks and teasing bites. The kind of kiss designed to get me wet.

And it did, it did. I could feel it dampening the fabric between us as we made out, I could feel it as I rocked even harder against him.

“God,” he breathed. “I could have you do this all night and all the next day. Just rub that sweet cunt all over my cock. Are you wet? Are you wet right now?”

“Yes,” I said, biting at his jaw. “You going to see for yourself?”

“Not until you beg,” he said wickedly, and he palmed a breast over my tank top instead. His hands were so big that with his palm against my nipple, his long fingers rested against my collarbone, and I suddenly felt so aware of his raw size and strength, and I wanted to devour it. I wanted to tackle it, mount it, spar and brawl and tangle until I’d won—or lost. For the first time in a long time, it didn’t seem to matter which one of us won. Only that we were together.

Determined to start the sparring now, I slid my hand down the front of my knickers, rubbing my slick folds until my fingertips were slippery, and then I pushed those same fingers between our kiss, pushing them right into his mouth.

His eyes flared as he tasted me, and then he gave my fingers a long suck before thoroughly licking them clean. His tongue on the pads of my fingers…along the insides…sucking hard…

“You’re not playing fair,” he admonished in a low voice, his hand growing rough on my breast. I moaned as he squeezed, his other hand still pinning me hard to his lap. “Maybe I shouldn’t play fair either.”

And then he rucked up my tank top, bent his head, and pulled my nipple into his mouth.

I gasped as he flicked his tongue over the turgid tip of my breast, flicking it until the peak was stiffened even more, and then rewarding it with a warm, pulling suck. He moved down to kiss the underside of my breast, working his way along the curve until he got to my sternum, where he kissed his way over to my other breast like he was trying to memorize me by feel.

“Fuck, these tits,” he mumbled, sucking my other nipple into his mouth. Threads of heat unspooled from my breasts down to my womb, where I felt achy and wonderful and oh so needy. I ground down against him, dry-fucking below while he suckled my nipples above.

And then he kissed his way to the top, gave me a bite that made me squeal, and said, “I need these pants off now.”

With a casual strength that was such a fucking turn-on, he lifted me in his arms to stand, toed off his trainers and kicked off his pants. And when we sat back down, I could feel the rough hair of his thighs against the back of my own and then I could feel—

“Wait,” I said and then I wriggled out of my knickers and tank top while he shucked off his T-shirt. We were both completely naked now, and I couldn’t even indulge myself in staring at the muscled lines of his body, because I was already straddling him and pressing my naked pussy against his exposed erection.

“Oh my God,” I murmured, feeling his cock against me. “Oh my God.”

“I know,” he panted, and this time his hands went to my hips to hold me still. “You’re so soft. God, it’s so fucking soft.”

I hated being held still, haaaated it, because I wanted to feel what it was like to grind against him with nothing between us. So I pushed against his hold and moved myself back and forth over his thick, erect cock.

His head dropped back, exposing the corded strength of his throat and the knot of his Adam’s apple. His collarbone made a lickable swoop across his chest, and I could see the way his ribs were juddering in and out with every heaving breath.

“You’re going to make me come,” he mumbled, his head still dropped back, and when I looked down I could see the tense set of his abdomen, the way the plump head of his cock was leaking pre-cum onto his belly while I used his erection to make myself feel good.

“I think,” I managed, “that I’m going to come first.”

That got his attention. He snapped his head forward to look at me.

“Do it,” he said. “Use me. Use me.”

I pressed my hands to the firm expanse of his chest—which felt searing to the touch now, as if he had some kind of sex-fever—and braced myself as I ground against him, using his hard dick to rub my clit on. The orgasm felt like a shimmering, curling heat behind my clit and around my womb; it was curling up through my belly and into my chest and into my throat too, until I was gasping, holding onto him and using him like a giant sex-toy to get myself off.

And he seemed to love it and hate it in equal measure—his cock harder than ever, but his eyes blazing and his chest trembling beneath my touch, as if it were taking all of his restraint not to throw me onto the bed and impale me.

The thought sent me plummeting right over the edge, and with a whimper, I buried my face in his wonderful-smelling neck and came.

“Oh fuck,” he said. “I can feel you. I can feel you coming on me. Shit. Shit.”

He was shaking harder than ever as I rode my way through the bliss, and when I finally lifted my head to look at him, he looked downright feral.

“Aurora,” he said in a dark voice. “I want to fuck. I want to fuck so bad.”

I wanted to fuck too. I wanted more sex, more orgasms, more of that possessive voice and trembling body, like he was seconds away from fitting his cock inside me and rutting away.

I wanted this to be for us—for me. Maybe what happened this last New Year’s would always be with me, but after telling Sera and Phin about what happened, I think I realized that me would always be with me too. What I want. What I chose.

I still got to have that.

I still got to want that.

“Me too,” I said, rubbing my nipples against his hard chest. “Me too.”

He started to move, but I moved first, flashing him a smile as I shoved him onto his back and then reached over to the end table next to my bed. His jaw tightened a little as he saw the box of condoms inside, but he didn’t say anything.

I understood. Thinking about the girls he’d been with seriously twisted me up inside still. I was getting over it—it was worth getting over it. For him. For that slow, sensual smile and for those big hands and for the way his eyes warmed whenever he saw me.

For finding all the little secrets of him, the secret parts of Phineas Yates that no one else knew. That he loved coding and hidden castle ruins in the mountains. That he was just as thoughtful as he was reckless and just as protective as he was possessive.

Yes, he was worth it.

And I wanted this.

I took a condom out of the box and tore the packet open as I scooted back so that I was straddling his thighs and his hard organ was available for me to sheathe.

He tucked his hands behind his head and watched me with dark eyes and a tight jaw as I worked the condom over his dick. When I was finished, I dropped the wrapper on the floor with a smile. “You ready?”

He dipped his chin to his chest. “It’s your show,” he said, in a husky sort of drawl, but he couldn’t hide the continuing shiver of his muscles.

“Is it really so hard for you to let me take the lead?” I asked, climbing back over his hips.

“Yes, but I’ll manage,” he replied, a dirty smile curving his mouth.

I wrapped my hand around the base of his dick and guided his tip to my folds. He was big, and blunt, and the condom and my earlier orgasm made everything so slippery as I notched him into place.

He was as still as a marble statue underneath me, and it didn’t even seem like he breathed as I pushed down. I’d never regret the other guys I’d fucked before Phin, but seeing him like this, like his next breath depended on me letting him make me come again, was going to ruin me forever for anyone else.

And I’d never bought much into virginity as a concept anyway, but even if I had, I was grateful I wasn’t in this moment, because it meant I could watch every flutter of his eyelashes, every lip bite, every seize of the muscles in his stomach as I slowly worked his thick length into my body. It meant I could savor every second of him filling me without wondering what to do next or worrying about pain or anything like that.

It meant I could give him every single bit of my attention, and it meant that I could take him in and simply relish the way he filled me so completely.

Once I’d seated myself fully, I began riding—slow and languorous movements that had a fresh orgasm knotting itself around the place where we were joined.

“Still managing?” I asked Phin.

*     *     *

Phin

“Barely,” I said in a low voice. She laughed, like I was joking, but it wasn’t a joke.

It was a warning.

She was like a goddess in this moonlight, the silvery glow showing me the high juts of her breasts, the long lines of her pretty throat. The dip of her waist and flare of her hips and the shadowed well of her navel. Her mouth, free of lipstick, smiled down at me with wicked intent, and her gold eyes flashed in the dark like a cat’s as she began moving over me.

And the way she felt—fuck me. I hadn’t known. I hadn’t known. I’d been jerked off before, sucked off before, but being inside someone’s body like this, having my cock in such a tight, slick clasp… fucking such a hot, rosy little hole…

God, it felt so fucking incredible. Like the only thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Just this. Just having Aurora ride me with all that dark hair tumbling around her shoulders and drifting over her breasts, just feeling her plush thighs bracketing my hips. Her evil smile, like she wanted to eat my heart raw even as she used my hard-on to make herself feel good.

Unable to stand not touching her everywhere, I slid my hands possessively over her thighs and hips and then up her stomach to play with her breasts, weighing and plumping them in my hands.

“I want to have you,” I told her. “I want you to be mine.”

“What if I want you to be mine?” she fired back, riding me even harder. The increased stimulation made my balls draw up tight to my body and made my thighs like stone as they clenched, trying to keep the orgasm at bay. I wanted her to come again. I wanted to feel it.

Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long. She used my cock like she’d paid for it, snapping her hips back and forth over mine, grinding her sweet little clit against the flat muscles above my erection as she did. With a long shudder, she came, her cunt softly pulsing and her belly quivering as the pleasure rolled through her.

“Phin,” she breathed, her eyes burning gold in the dark. “Oh, Phin.”

I could listen to the sound of her coming forever.

But I was at my breaking point; my tether was snapping. I’d never done this before, but animal instinct had me flipping us over, pressing her down onto her stomach and then surging into her from behind.

I let out a rough groan as I was welcomed back into her cunt, as I could finally let loose and rut like a beast.

She whimpered as I came into her with deep, rough strokes, her hand snaking down under her belly to toy with her clit as I drove into her from behind. Like this I could see the juicy curves of her ass and the little pleated opening between them. And if I braced myself just right, I could see my cock spearing in and out of her, wet and thick and shining.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes. I’m about to—I’m—”

She muffled her wail by pressing her face into the mattress, and with a growl, I followed her over the edge, my cock erupting inside her with pulse after pulse of blinding pleasure. I couldn’t see as I came, I couldn’t hear. I could only feel. The jerking waves of pleasure searing up my cock… the relief of releasing… the slick feeling of my spend filling the condom inside her. It was like heaven itself. Hot, slick heaven.

It felt so good, in fact, that even as I pulled out and found some tissue to wrap the condom in before I threw it away, I was hardening again, ready to flood her with more. I came back to bed and rolled her onto her back, taking smug satisfaction in the dazed look on her face.

“You got more condoms where that one came from?” I asked, laying down next to her and pulling her against my chest.

“Yes,” she laughed. “Is this your way of telling me that you intend on coming inside me again?”

“As many times as you’ll let me,” I said. I was already fully hard again and ready for more. I nuzzled against her neck, smelling the sweet, sugary scent of her. “You owe me, you know,” I informed her.

“Is this more of your settling up nonsense?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied, pulling back to look at her. I trailed an idle finger around one of her pretty nipples, which was still bunched into a needy point. “But I’ve decided now that you owe me from before we ever started pretending to date.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, clearly not buying it. “And how is that?”

I dropped my fingers to her swollen, well-pleasured pussy. “You owe me for all the nights we could have been doing this instead of fighting.”

She looked at me, her eyes soft in the moonlight. “And so what do I owe you in payment for those nights?”

“More nights,” I told her seriously. “Every night. From this night onward.”

She blinked up at me. “Every night,” she repeated softly. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Aurora. I’ve never been more certain about anything. No more games, no more pretending. You belong to me now, in public and in private, and we’re going to have what we should have had two years ago. Everything.”

“Everything,” she said, a smile spreading across her face. I knew that smile well. It was the smile she had before she picked a fight with a teacher, the smile she had before she grabbed a bottle of Southern Comfort by the handle and took a deep swig. “I like the sound of that.”

I reached into the end table myself this time and found a fresh condom.

“I’m glad, princess, because I intend on starting right now.”