Ruined Sinner by Becker Gray

Chapter Seventeen

Aurora

Imanaged to avoid Phin for two days by hiding behind my security team like a coward, but finally one afternoon, I’d had enough of skulking around in my room, and I had one of my team drive me out to the castle after classes ended.

I didn’t know why I went there. It was stupid really, since it was Phin’s spot, his secret place, but it felt like the only place I could go that made sense, even if that sense was of a very perverse kind.

And that’s how I ended up at the ruins looking out over the forest. The sun warmed the flat rock I was sitting on and the heat seeped through my school uniform. I hadn’t even bothered to change before I came. I hadn’t bothered to see if anyone else would want to come with me.

I loved Sera and Sloane and Tanith, but I knew what they would say if I told them about this weekend. Sloane would be all murder, murder, revenge; Sera would be all about how Hellfire boys are monsters; and Tanith would be there with logical, rational musings. None of which were helpful right now!

Murder would just get me onto the tabloid covers again, and I couldn’t do that to Mum, even if it was her awful arranged marriage plan that had sort of landed me here in the first place.

I already knew that Hellfire boys were monsters, and I didn’t want to hear any reasonable ideas about what might have actually happened between Phin and Lea or if Phin deserved to tell his side. I didn’t need him to tell me his side—I’d seen his side for the last two years, with the girls constantly in his arms. That girl at the Huntington Gala, the mayor’s daughter at the van Doren Christmas party, the incessant rumors of his playboy lifestyle.

And that was just it, wasn’t it? At the end of the day, he existed only for himself. Only for his own desires, his own selfish needs.

A fuckboy, through and through.

My mistake had been in thinking I was a big enough fuckgirl to handle him. Believing him when he said all those pretty-sounding lies.

Phineas Yates, a virgin?! How could you have ever believed that?

I didn’t look up when I heard the footsteps; I already knew who it was.

His shadow stretched over me, and suddenly I was so furious, so full of seething, betrayed anger, that I actually snarled as I got to my feet. How fucking dare he come here? How fucking dare he still look so edible with his wide mouth and those caramel eyes and that perfect jaw?

How fucking dare he?

Except when I opened my mouth to say all that, nothing came out. I’d said it all before, a hundred times. A thousand times. He was a slut, a knobhead, a cheater. He treated people like rubbish, and he only cared about himself.

There was nothing left to say. He’d lied, and now there was a baby involved.

He didn’t speak either, but his features were an expression of dark hunger.

I didn’t know who moved first—or if we planned to strangle each other or kiss each other. But somehow I had my hands curled in his hair, my mouth hot on his, biting and licking like I could punish him with only my mouth, like I could write entire poems and essays of how much I hated him using my kisses alone.

He kissed me back just as hard, with fury and possession, as he backed me toward one of the crumbling walls.

“You said every night,” he said, reaching up my skirt to yank down my knickers. “You said everything.”

He spun me around and I let him, pushing my knickers the rest of the way down my thighs as I heard the purr of his zipper. We were both otherwise still in full school uniform, still otherwise entirely clothed.

“You still owe me everything,” he said viciously. “This changes nothing.”

“Fuck off,” I hissed. God, I was so wet. Wet enough that I could feel it as he kicked my legs apart and stepped between them. A few seconds later, something big and blunt and hot nudged against me. I let out an involuntary moan.

“This is everything,” he grunted as he wedged his way inside of me. “Your cunt is everything. Your body is everything. Your heart and your mind too. You owe it to me, Aurora. You don’t get to run away.”

“Is that what you told her too?” I said, my hands going up to brace on the wall in front of me as he started fucking.

“You already know what I told her,” Phin bit out. “God, Aurora, what do I have to do for you to understand? You’re my fucking world. You’re all I see. All I want. All I fucking crave. All I love.”

“Don’t do that,” I said furiously. “Don’t bring love into your lies. Don’t bring love into this.”

“Too late. I love you. I love you, and you hate me, and maybe that’s just how our fairy tale goes, princess. But I’ll tell you how it doesn’t go. With us apart, with nothing instead of everything. Now hold still for me.”

“Fuck you.” But my words were belied by the gasp I made as he found my clit with his hand and began kneading it as he screwed me, the perfect circular kneads that drove me crazy every fucking time. Like always, I couldn’t tell who was using whom right now, and it only made me want to use him harder, to use his cock to drive away the ache and then send him packing.

I met him thrust for thrust, pushing back into him, making him hit that perfect spot every single time. My school tie was bouncing with every vigorous stroke, my skirt was bunched up around my hips, and my Mary Jane shoes kept slipping on the rocky ground as I fought for traction. The orgasm that built up inside me was just as mean as the guy behind me, mean and sharp and undeniable, and of course it would be this way. Of course.

Brutal, delicious, secret.

Just like the love I’d carried for him inside my heart before he’d doused it once again.

When I came, my hands scrabbled at the walls and my knees buckled, and it was only Phin grabbing me by the hips that kept me upright. He didn’t miss a beat though, still stroking into me with that thick erection, still chasing his own satisfaction.

It came soon after mine, with big, swelling pumps that I could feel in my cunt, and I wondered if this would be our new normal. Using each other for revenge sex instead of other people. Venting our anger and our hurt with merciless pleasure wreaked on each other’s bodies.

He pulled out and I spun around, feeling a wild mix of anger and arousal.

“Fucking doesn’t change what I said earlier,” I told him, righting my clothes and then glaring at him. “You can fuck me all you want, but it won’t change how I feel.”

“I’m glad to hear the first part of that sentence,” Phin growled. “Because I do plan on fucking you all I want.”

“You know I’m always happy to use you for what you’re good for,” I said cruelly, knowing it would hurt him.

And it did. I could see the flash of pain in his eyes before he looked down to the ground. Immediate regret followed my barbed words, and I stepped forward. “Wait, Phin, no, I shouldn’t have—”

“I know that’s what people think I’m good for,” he said. “Making them feel good. Either with sex stuff or just by charming them or making sure they’re having fun. I know for a fact that people don’t think I’m good for honesty or loyalty. Which maybe I deserve.”

“You deserve it because you lied! Because you cheated!”

He shook his head. “We’ve already had this fight. I’ve already told you that I didn’t lie about anything—you were my first. If you don’t believe me, then I can’t change that. But know that I’m not kidding around about everything. I’ll be back to claim it, Aurora. As often as I want.”

“I could tell you no,” I said, glaring at him.

He looked back at me as he was turning to walk away. “But you won’t,” he predicted, the almost-smirk on his face downright carnivorous. “You need it as much as I do.”

I glared even harder. He was fucking right, goddamn him to hell. I wanted to claw his eyes out, but I wanted to bounce on his cock until I broke a bed frame too.

“And that’s never been our problem, has it?” he asked. “Wanting to fuck.”

“No, I guess not. What has been, then?”

When he answered, his voice was suddenly tired. And sad. “You not trusting me to be something other than an asshole,” he said. And then he left.