Hearts in Darkness Collection by Laura Kaye
Chapter Six
When they made it to her room, Makenna closed the door. “It’s only a double bed, so I hope you’re not too cramped tonight with me.”
“We’re sleeping together?” he asked, looking around her childhood room. Pieces of her youth remained tacked to the lavender walls and hung from her mirror. Ribbons, photographs, posters of bands. The room spoke of a person who grew up in the warm embrace of family, happiness, wholeness. “Your father doesn’t mind?”
Chuckling, Makenna shook her head. “We practically live together, Caden, which he knows. I’m sure he’s figured out that his twenty-five-year-old daughter has had sex before. Collin and Shima are sleeping together, too.”
“Shima’s pretty awesome,” he said, wondering if Makenna would say anything to him about her conversation with Cameron.
“She really is,” Makenna said with a smile. And then she unbuttoned her jeans, pushed them down, and took them off altogether, leaving her standing there in an oversized, faded red and blue Penn sweatshirt that was just long enough to cover her panties. “You should get undressed, too,” she said, coming to him and starting on the buttons of his shirt.
Press and release, press and release. Until she was pulling his shirt from his dress pants and exposing his skin.
She gave a little moan and kissed the center of his chest. “Just like unwrapping a present.” She trailed a line of kisses and licks from one nipple to the other.
“Fuck, Makenna,” he whispered. “What are you doing?”
“Tasting you,” she said.
The words were like a blowtorch to his blood. He was hard in an instant. “We can’t,” he said, though his hands went to the back of her head, encouraging her, guiding her as she continued to kiss and tease and drive him wild with her mouth.
“We can if we’re quiet.” Slowly, she dropped to her knees and bared him to mid-thigh. She took his cock in hand and gripped him firmly, tearing a soft grunt from his throat. “I’ve been wanting you all day,” she whispered, her lips teasing his head with soft kisses. “Wanting to touch you and kiss you and hold you. I can’t hold back anymore.” She licked him from root to tip. Once, twice, three times. And then she sucked him into her mouth.
It felt so fucking good that Caden’s hands flew to her hair, digging in, grabbing hold. She moaned at the contact and pushed herself deeper, burying his cock in the back of her throat. The intensity of it nearly took his knees out from underneath of him.
Makenna pulled off his length. “Lay down on the floor.”
He was too far gone to debate the wisdom of having sex in her father’s house. He needed this. He needed her. He needed the connection and the coming together of the act. Caden locked the door, took the rest of his clothes off, and spread himself out on the beige carpet.
She undressed, too, all that beautiful red hair spilling around the bare porcelain of her shoulders and making him think of peaches and cream. And, fuck, he was starving.
Caden grasped his cock. “Take me back in your mouth.”
He didn’t have to ask twice. Makenna settled herself between his legs and wrapped her lips around his cock. She sucked him deep and slow, than fast and shallow, her baby blues flashing up at him so fucking sexy. He needed to see her eyes, so he fisted her hair into a ponytail to keep it out of her face. He used his grip to urge her harder, faster, deeper. He needed it. God, he needed it. And she took it. She took everything he gave her and so much more.
“Fuck, Red, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop,” he whispered.
She pulled off him, her lips shiny and swollen. “I want you inside me first,” she said, already crawling up his body.
Caden reached for his pants and fished a condom out of his wallet. Rolled it on with shaking, needy hands. Then he gripped her hip. “Take all of me, Red. Fucking take all of me.” The words came from someplace inside him that was raw and wounded and so full of yearning.
“Yes,” she whispered, sinking down, impaling herself on him inch by maddening inch. “Oh, God, it’s so good.”
“Jesus,” he rasped. Every urge inside him had him wanting to flip her over, to pin her down, to drive himself into her until they were both screaming and coming and losing their minds. But there was no way that would be quiet. He had to let her lead this. His hips surged when she’d taken him all the way. “Ride me, Makenna. Use me.”
She planted her hands on his chest and lifted herself up and down his length, her slickness coating him and creating the most delicious friction. Their breaths were the only sounds in the room, and the way she gasped and pressed her lips together and furrowed her forehead proved she was having to work to be quiet. “Shit, Caden,” she breathed.
Their gazes collided, hot and needy. He gripped her hips and guided her into a new rhythm—forward and backward on his cock so that her clit ground against him. “Want you to come on me.”
“Oh, yes,” she gasped, her expression almost anguished in her desire. His gaze raked over her pretty face, her swaying breasts, the red hair between her thighs rubbing against his lower belly.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her down to his chest. Caden banded an arm around her lower back and one around her neck, pinning her in place on top of him, and then he took over the grind, rubbing himself hard against her clit, his cock still deep inside. “Love being inside you,” he whispered. “Love this closeness, with you.”
“I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come,” she cried.
Caden crashed his lips down on hers and filled her mouth with his tongue. Her whole body bowed on the orgasm, trying to break free from his arms. He held her tight and swallowed the moan that ripped up her throat as her pussy fisted him and fisted him and coated his cock and balls with her pleasure.
Her muscles went limp and she released a long breath. “Holy shit,” she rasped. “Your turn. I want to feel you fall apart like that so bad. How do you want it?”
“Lay down on your stomach,” he said, need and lust still stalking through his blood. “I’ll be quiet, promise.” They switched positions, and Caden spread himself out on top of Makenna. He took his cock in hand and entered her from behind. As he penetrated deep, he laid down on top of her, covering her from head to feet, all of him touching all of her.
“Oh, God, I love that,” she whispered. “Love your weight on me. Love how filled up I feel.”
Her words licked over his skin. “Gonna fuck you so deep, Red,” he said against her ear, his hips surging and grinding into her ass. “So fucking deep.” His arms wrapped around her head and shoulders for leverage, and his abs contracted on each thrust, hunching his body quietly around hers. Driving deep, deep, deeper. She arched her back and lifted her ass. “Oh, that’s it,” he said, balls deep inside her. “That’s so fucking it.”
“Caden,” she breathed. “Jesus.”
“Yeah, you’re taking me, aren’t you? My cock’s so deep inside you.” But as deep as it was, it wasn’t deep enough. Never would be. Because he’d never be able to get enough of her. Not if he lived a hundred lifetimes.
Thatwas how hard he’d fallen for her. The clarity of the thought was startling. For weeks he’d been hiding from the truth of it, not examining it too closely.
He drove the thought away. Not now. Not yet. Not with another man’s words pinballing around his brain. He just couldn’t… Just feel. For once, just feel.
Caden gripped her tighter, drove deeper, clenched his teeth against the grunts that wanted to tear up his throat. He gritted out whispered words into her ear, dirty little nothings that had her core growing tighter around him and his balls aching with the need to release.
“Faster,” she whispered. “Faster and I’m gonna come again.”
“Fuck, yeah.” His hips snapped more quickly, the meeting of their skin making more noise now. But he couldn’t hold back, couldn’t resist giving her what she needed. And then she was coming once more, a moan spilling from her mouth. He covered her lips with his hand as her body clamped down on his cock. Then his own orgasm nailed him in the back and exploded him apart. He rode her slow and deep as wave after wave of sensation tore through him, not wanting it to end. Ever. “Jesus Christ,” he rasped when their bodies finally stilled.
“So sexy to hear you come,” she whispered.
“Shit, was I loud?” he asked, his head resting against hers, his heart still racing in his chest.
“No,” she said, a smile plain in her voice. “Maybe we should sleep right here. That way if we get horny again, we can just pick up where we left off.”
Caden chuckled. “You’ve got big plans for tonight, huh?”
She grinned over her shoulder. “Where you’re concerned? Absolutely.”
The words were just light-hearted joking, but he couldn’t help but wonder if she meant them more broadly. If her conversation with Cameron was still pinging around inside his head, which it was, then surely it was doing the same to hers. Part of him thought he should tell her he’d overheard it, but part of him wanted her to choose to tell him it had happened. He eased off of her, removed the condom, and wrapped it in a tissue from a box on her nightstand. Then he gave her a hand off the floor and pulled her into his arms.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Caden. I’m so glad I got to spend the day with you. Of everything I have in my life, I hope you know that I’m most grateful for you this year.”
He let the words settle like a balm into some of the raw places inside him, and they helped. But in his darkest places, he couldn’t stop wondering if what her ex-fiancé had said to her could change that.
* * *
Caden felt better in the light of the morning. After the incredible lovemaking on Makenna’s floor, they’d slept wrapped around one another all night, skin to skin, and both left him feeling claimed, owned, connected. She’d seduced him last night. She’d slept with him last night. She’d woke up in his arms this morning. That’s what mattered. Not what Cameron wanted.
Why did the part of his brain that controlled Caden’s fears and anxiety have to be so powerful?
No matter.
He could be stronger. For her.
Caden dried off from his shower and tugged on fresh clothes, glad to be back in jeans again. It made him feel more himself. He tugged the soft black Henley over his head, gave himself a onceover in the bathroom mirror, and opened the door to join Makenna downstairs.
Except the sound of his own name in a male’s voice had him freezing in place and pushing the door most of the way closed again.
“She said she was serious about Caden, but that she’d think about it.” Cameron. “I said my piece. There’s nothing else I can do.”
“Caden.” Ian that time. He said the name with so much disdain that he might as well have said Fucking Caden. Their voices came from Ian’s room right across the hall from the bathroom. Caden opened his door a little wider so he could hear them. Because if they were going to fucking talk about him, he was going to fucking listen. “If you want her, you need to fight for her. You think he’s good enough for her? Because I don’t. And I can’t believe that my brothers do either. Tattoos and piercings all over his face? Did you see how the conversation flat-out halted when she said she was going to get a tattoo? That’s all him. Great fucking influence. She deserves better.”
Ian’s hostility was a sucker punch to the gut, his words slicing deep at those darkest places. Caden’s pulse pounded in his ears.
“I agree. It kills me to see her with him. For all those reasons and more. But I laid it all out for her. I didn’t hold anything back. If I push her, she might shut me down all the way,” Cameron said. “I gotta give her space on this. If it’s gonna happen, it has to be her decision this time. She has to come to me.”
“I hear you,” Ian said, frustration plain in his voice. “You two were just so good together. I know things got messed up, but Makenna was so happy with you. I want that again for her. And for you. You’re family. You’ve been family for twenty years. You deserve this and so does she. I’m glad you had the chance to talk to her, at least.”
“Yeah,” Cameron said. “Listen, I’m going to cut out before breakfast. I don’t want things to be awkward with Makenna, and clearly Caden and I both being here is creating stress for her.” There were some shuffling sounds, and then the door across the hallway clicked shut.
“You should be the one staying,” Ian said.
Caden nearly held his breath. He pushed the door closed as much as he could without making it click and listened as footsteps and voices crossed to the stairs and disappeared altogether. When they were gone, he secured the door and fell back against it, his head aching, his chest hollow. He scrubbed his hand over the scar running in a crescent over his ear.
Hell if Ian’s reaction wasn’t exactly what Caden feared from her family. And was Ian right? Did Patrick and Collin feel the same way? Was Mike horrified at the guy his only daughter had brought home? Caden hadn’t gotten anything but positive vibes from the other three James men, but maybe his radar was as fucked as his head.
Or maybe Ian was just an asshole. Caden got it, he did. Cameron was his life-long best friend and Ian wanted him to be happy. Fine. Whatever. That was one thing. But to dislike him because he thought Caden unworthy? That was another.
Thatwas his true fear.
Jesus.
Just when he’d managed to get his head screwed on right about Makenna’s conversation with Cameron.
Knock, knock.
Caden bowed off the door. “Yeah?” he said, pulling it open.
“Hey, there you are.” Makenna’s gaze scanned over his face, and her smile dropped into a frown. “Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Just finished getting ready.” He flicked off the bathroom light.
“Dad’s still making breakfast, so I thought maybe we could talk for a minute?” she said.
His gut clenched as dread snaked through him. “Sure. What’s up?”
She took his hand, led him back to her room, and closed the door. Caden moved to the center of the room and crossed his arms, braced for the blow. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
“What is it you want to talk about, Makenna?” The words came out more clipped than he’d intended, but he was hanging on by a thread right now. Very thin and fraying in the middle.
“Come sit,” she said.
“That’s okay.” He forced a deep breath and stayed planted right where he was.
She frowned, her gaze studying his face like she was trying to solve a puzzle. “We fell asleep so fast last night that we never had a chance to finish the conversation from the bathroom.” Makenna gave him a little smile, clearly trying to coax some reaction from him. “So.” She sagged onto the edge of the bed. “The short story is that three years ago, Cameron and I were engaged for about five minutes. It ended when he gave me an ultimatum. I’d landed the job I wanted in DC and he had fellowship offers from hospitals here and in DC. It all could’ve worked.”
Hearing her talk about the life she might’ve been leading right now—a life with another man—settled a weight onto Caden’s shoulders. And the reason why was clear—he was all in. All in love with Makenna. Whether he wanted to admit it or not. Whether he wanted to face it or not. Whether he believed that meant certain doom for her or him or both of them, or not.
For fourteen years he’d been alone, purposely keeping others out, purposely living life as a loner, purposely avoiding relationships except with a select few friends. He’d hooked up with women over the years, but he’d purposely distanced himself from the ones who seemed to want more with him. Building a wall around himself had been a survival mechanism after his family had been destroyed, and then it had become a habit, one he’d never even tried to unlearn until Makenna.
“But Cam decided that the fellowship at Penn was more prestigious,” she said, staring up at Caden. “And he said if I really loved him, I’d stay in Philly and find another job. Because he wouldn’t do a long-distance relationship, so if I wouldn’t stay in Philly, the whole relationship was off.” She waved a hand. “We had a big fight. But it made me realize he wasn’t the right man for me, because the right man would never ask me to give up my dream for his, especially when he had another great and still very prestigious option that would allow both of us to have what we wanted. So I took the job and moved to DC and we just sorta ended.”
“Okay,” Caden said.
“So that’s the backstory.” She heaved a deep breath.
He frowned. “The backstory to what?”
“To a conversation I had with Cameron last night that I want you to know about.”
Caden swallowed. Hard. As much as he’d wanted her to tell him, now he was scared to hear what might come out of her mouth. “Which was?”
“Cameron asked for a second chance,” she said, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “And said he wants to try again and that he still loves me. I wanted you to—”
“Do you still love him?” he forced himself to ask.
She flew off the bed and came right up to him, one of her hands settling on his crossed arms, one cupping his face. “No. Not for a long time. I told him that I’m with you, that I’m serious about you, that it’s too late and too much time has passed.” Makenna shook her head, her eyes pleading. “You’re the only one I…that I have feelings for. I care about you so much, Caden. Please tell me that you know that.”
“Are you…are you sure that you don’t want to consider what he’s offering?” Voicing the question made Caden nauseous, but if he didn’t ask her, he’d just wonder about it. Better to get it all out in the open. His anxiety needed to hear her say the words. “He’s a high-powered specialist. He’ll be able to give you a good life. And he’s known your family forever.”
Makenna blanched and her whole face frowned. “Oh, my God. I don’t want to consider his offer. I don’t want him. I want you. I have a great life with you right now. Caden.” She forced his arms to part and pressed herself against him, both of her hands cupping his face. “You’re the only man I want. You.”
For a moment he didn’t say anything because he couldn’t. Relief made his throat go tight and his chest ache with pressure.
“Do you remember the night we met, before we went to bed? I mentioned how late it had gotten and you thought that was me trying to tell you to go?” Caden nodded. That night had been so amazing with her that he hadn’t been able to avoid wondering when the other shoe would drop. He’d thought it had been that moment. “Do you remember what I said?”
“You called bullshit on me,” he said, the memory pulling a little of the heaviness off his shoulders.
Makenna smiled. “I totally did. And I said, just so there’s no more weirdness or uncertainty, I like you.” He nodded, the memory tugging at the corner of his lips. “Well, I’m saying it again right now. Just so there’s no more weirdness or uncertainty, I like you. A lot.” She nailed him with a stare, her blue eyes blazing.
“Shit. I get caught in my head sometimes, Makenna,” he said, throwing out a lifeline.
She caught it. “Oh, Caden, I know you do, but it’s okay. I hated to even dump all this on you, but I also didn’t want to keep it from you. That didn’t feel right.”
Knock, knock.
“Yeah?” she called, not letting him break the embrace.
Patrick popped his head in the door. “Dad said breakfast is ready.”
“Be right there,” Makenna said. Her brother ducked back out. “Are we okay?” she asked.
Caden blew out a breath, some of the tension bleeding out of his body with it. It was just, on top of Ian’s comments, he’d been so ready for more bad news. Instead, she’d given him her honesty and understanding, and it made him love her even more. No sense in denying that’s what it was anymore.
“Yeah. I’m sorry,” he said, feeling a little drained. Life was a lot fucking easier without all these emotions coming at him all the time. Makenna had opened him up, and sometimes it made him feel like an exposed nerve that was too sensitive, too vulnerable, too unprotected.
He was always going to be a lot to take on board, wasn’t he?
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” she said. “I’m sorry you even have to deal with any of this.”
“No, I’m glad you told me,” he said. And he was.
Sometimes his brain got stuck on a loop of negativity, spiraling him down and down and down, and having her words saying the things she’d said was the best cure for when that happened. He needed her words, just like he’d needed them that night they’d been trapped in the elevator. Then they’d kept him from succumbing to his claustrophobia. Now they kept him from handing a microphone to his darkest fears so they could convince him those fears were real. Both times, she’d pulled him back from the brink.
“And for the record, I like you, too. A lot.” His feelings ran deeper than that, obviously, but he was too bare, too raw, to contemplate confronting his fears by saying anything more just then.
Her smile was radiant. “Best thing I’ve heard all day.” She rested her hands on his chest. “Look, if you want to go back to Virginia, we could leave today. I know Cameron being here made this trip more stressful than it should’ve been.”
Caden immediately shook his head. “No. No way. I’m enjoying your family.” Well, most of them. “And I know you love being here. I don’t want to go home early.” No way would he do that to her. He knew how important her family was to her.
“I would go, for you.” Earnest blue eyes stared up at him.
He knew she would, and it was part of why he loved her. He shook his head. “And I’m staying for you.”