The Bonds We Break by Becca Steele

NINE

Cassius was still asleep when I woke the next morning. Sprawled out on the huge bed on his stomach, his tanned skin golden against the crisp white sheets, he was beautiful. I’d known I’d have a good time with him, but last night had been something else.

I stretched, deliciously sore. After the shower, we’d fucked against the window and again in the bed, and then both of us had succumbed to exhaustion sometime after the sun had already risen in the sky.

Sitting up, I pushed my tangle of hair back from my eyes. Cassius had known exactly what I needed. This whole overnight trip had reset something inside me. While the fear and pain remained at the back of my mind, I now felt more able to handle it. Stronger, somehow. I had a lot to be grateful for.

By the time Cassius woke, I was showered and dressed, having retrieved my bag from my own hotel room, and was in the middle of a text conversation with Austin, who was grilling me on my experience in Sanctuary. It was a shame he hadn’t been around to meet up with us, but at the same time, it was probably a good thing. I could just imagine him pulling the overprotective older brother act with Cassius, even though there was nothing between us—other than a night of incredibly hot sex, not that my brother would be privy to that kind of information. In fact, now that I thought about it, it was a really, really good thing he hadn’t been at the club last night. What Cassius and I had done with the blonde girl, right on the dance floor… I shuddered, grimacing. There were some things that a sibling should never, ever see.

“Morning.” Cassius twisted to look across at where I was sitting on the sofa, shading his eyes against the sunlight streaming through the huge windows.

“Hi.” I smiled at him. “Coffee?”

He nodded, stifling a yawn, before scrubbing his hand over his tousled hair. “Please. What’s the time?”

“Almost ten.” Standing, I picked up the coffee I’d purchased earlier and moved to the bed. Sinking down onto the mattress, I handed it to him. “It should still be warm.”

Pushing himself into a seated position, he leaned back against the headboard. “This isn’t the hotel coffee.” He examined the cup, a pleased smile curving over his lips.

“I went to the coffee place next door. I was dying for a double shot of espresso in my latte, and I remembered that you had a weird thing about hotel coffee.”

He flicked me an appreciative look. “Thanks.” As he tipped the coffee to his lips, a groan came from his throat that was way too sexy for this time of the morning. Especially after three hours’ sleep, when my body needed time to recover from what we’d put it through.

Shifting on the bed, I redirected my thoughts away from the undeniable effect he had on my libido. “Cass?”

Sensing the seriousness of my tone, he gave me his full attention. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say thanks for all this. It was just what I needed.”

“I know it was.” For once, his eyes held no humour, and his voice was soft. “Are you ready to face the world again now?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly, “but I feel like I might be able to.”

“Good.” Reaching out, he laid his hand over mine for a brief moment before pulling away. “Guess we’d better burst this sex bubble and go back to reality, huh? Unless you feel like another round before we check out?” Tugging the sheet lower on his hips, he shot me a filthy look, biting at his lip and staring at me from beneath his thick lashes.

Heat raced through me, my body instantly responding to him. Sucking in a breath, I closed my eyes. “I want to, but I think you broke me. I need time to recover.” Opening my eyes again, I placed my hand on his thigh and gave him a slow smile. “I suppose I am feeling thankful enough to reward you, though.”

I yanked off the sheet, lowered my body to the bed, and wrapped my lips around his cock.

* * *

Three hours later, I’d have given anything to be back in that hotel room. Anything was better than having the full attention of the Four on me, their looks ranging from disapproval to hostility. Caiden had noticed my new neck decoration, aka the purpling bruise on my throat, courtesy of Mr. Drummond, and he kept shooting Cassius wounded looks, as if he was personally betrayed by the sight. Ignoring him, I placed the photo down on the lounge coffee table, pointing out the objects with a clinical detachment. If I concentrated on the facts, and even how uncomfortable I was, then the fear couldn’t break through.

“This is from my kidnapper. The rope and the material, th-that—” To my horror, my voice cracked. I couldn’t even get through one fucking sentence without breaking down?

A hand came down over mine and gently squeezed. I glanced up in surprise to see Winter had moved to perch on the arm of my sofa. Shooting her a grateful smile, I swallowed hard, managing to get the rest of the sentence out. “That was what they used to tie me up and gag me with.” Darkness flashed in my mind, but before it could pull me under, I looked straight across at Cassius, who was watching me intently, and I let memories of last night wash over me instead. His stare turned heated, as if he could read every dirty image that was playing through my head.

I shifted in my seat.

“What about the pointy metal thing?” Winter gave my hand another squeeze, drawing my attention back to the image. “And the blood? I think it’s blood?” She wrinkled her nose.

“I stabbed him with it.” My voice came out as a whisper, but everyone heard me. Zayde stared at me with new interest in his icy eyes, and Weston raised a brow.

Cassius leaned forwards. “Where did you stab him?”

“Do you feel like telling us what happened?” Lena spoke up at the same time, eyeing me with empathy in her blue eyes. Out of everyone, she was the person I felt most comfortable with, other than Cassius. She gave me a small, encouraging smile, and I nodded. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the experience again—it happened enough in my nightmares, but maybe this would help to explain to everyone why I’d been so shaken. Why I’d come here, despite knowing that I wasn’t exactly welcome.

Taking a deep breath, I began.

When I’d finished, the silence in the room was absolute.

Caiden met my eyes, his face an impenetrable mask, but he swallowed hard, his throat working. “Fuck. I think I speak for us all when I say we’ll give you our full support.” He paused, and his gaze flicked to Winter before it returned to me. “You’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” I told him, and I meant it.

“Can we answer my question now? Where did you stab him?” Cassius shot me a reassuring grin. “Did you know that Winter’s nickname was Stabby for a while? We might have to pass the nickname on to you.”

“Please don’t.” I gave him a warning look, biting the inside of my cheek to stop my smile. “As for where I stabbed him, I really don’t know. It was all a blur.” Thinking hard, I replayed the moment in my mind. The cold rain, the feel of the metal in my hand, the ease with which it pierced through denim and flesh. “I was on the ground, right by his legs, and I kind of jabbed upwards.” I mimicked the motion with my hand.

“Like this?” Cassius gripped Weston’s arm, pulling him to his feet, then dropped to the floor. In one quick move, he punched upwards.

Straight into Weston’s balls.

“You fucker!” West dropped down, clutching himself. “Fucking fuck!”

“That’ll teach you not to take the piss out of my injuries.” Cassius grinned in satisfaction.

“Mate! Your fucking thumbs were bandaged. You looked ridiculous. You don’t go around punching your best friend in his most sensitive area as payback.” Groaning, he glared over at Cassius from his prone position on the floor. “Do you want to ruin your chances of becoming an uncle one day?”

“Yeah. What happened to your whole ‘I’m a lover, not a fighter’ philosophy?” Winter interjected.

“Babe, you’re supposed to be on my side.” Cassius gave her a mock-wounded look, sticking out his bottom lip, and that was the moment that I started laughing uncontrollably.

It was cathartic, like I was shedding a heavy burden. As they continued to banter around me, my laughter came to a stop, and I sank back in my chair.

This right here. This was what it was like to be around people that cared about each other. The unbreakable bond of this family that had each other’s backs no matter what and understood each other so well.

Something I’d never known before.

I ached for it.

Cassius glanced over at me, and all my defences were down, and I knew that he could see everything I was feeling right then. Clambering to his feet, he closed the distance between us and dropped an unexpected kiss on the top of my head, squeezing the back of my neck gently. I stilled, feeling a flush stealing over my cheeks. Although I was grateful for everything he’d done for me, and I probably wouldn’t ever be able to repay him, I didn’t want him to feel like he had to be there for me out of some sense of obligation or whatever was driving him to act this way.

He spoke from beside me, addressing the room. “I’ve decided we’re calling this Operation Littlefinger. We need a theme tune.”

“A theme tune?” Winter stared up at him, and I heard “for fuck’s sake” muttered from Zayde’s direction.

“Yeah. Like we did with Operation Andromeda.”

“We did not have a theme tune.” Weston shook his head. “But I like this idea. Wanna see my playlist? There’s a couple of…”

I tuned out his voice as Winter leaned her head close to mine. “They could be here a while. May as well get comfortable. Do you want a drink?”

“Please.”

Following her into the kitchen, I leaned against the marble island. “I should have said this sooner, but I really am sorry for the way I acted towards you when you came to Alstone. I was…jealous. I don’t know what I can say to make it right, but if I could go back and change things, I would.”

She smiled. “Thank you. I know I said that I wasn’t sure if we’d ever be friends, but I’m beginning to see that I might be wrong about that. Maybe we could do something together? If you feel happy about it, with everything else that’s going on. What do you like to do?”

My mouth twisted. “My life’s not exactly filled with exciting pursuits. I like…or liked, I guess…partying, hanging out at the beach, reading, and…I suppose that’s about it.”

Winter stared at me thoughtfully. “You make it sound like a bad thing. Look, I know for a fact that you work really hard in your degree course, and you’re being prepped to work for the family business. Just like I am now, I guess. So you’re perfectly entitled to relax and have fun doing whatever you want to do in your free time. I feel like once we graduate, we’re going to have even less free time, so we should make the most of it while we can.”

I relaxed at her words. “You’re right. Okay…well, while we don’t know where Petr is, I’m not sure how comfortable I’d feel about going out and about. The fact he knows where I live…that really shook me.”

“So…what if we go to your brother’s club again? I’ve never been to a London club, and the security will be tight, won’t it?” Her voice grew more excited. “I bet we could get Creed to do us a deal on hotel rooms, too.”

“Creed? Ooh, yes. I don’t know him, but my brother works with him now,” I told her.

“Even better.” Turning to the fridge, she opened it and stared inside. “Pear cider okay?”

“As long as it’s cold, I’ll take it.”

We ended up sitting outside on the deck, and one by one, the others drifted out to join us. All of them. Something between us had shifted, and I felt like they’d allowed me a tiny glimpse into their tightly knit circle today.

As the sky grew dark outside and the deck grew smoky with the scent of weed heavy in the air, I stretched, curling my legs up under me. Cassius caught my eye from across the deck, where he’d been in conversation with Weston.

When his bright blue eyes met mine and his lips curved into a smile, my heart skipped a beat, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

I sucked in a shocked breath, my eyes widening at the realisation.

No. No.

Sex was one thing, but I couldn’t catch feelings for Cassius Drummond. The biggest player I knew, the man who claimed he liked to share the love, the man for whom “commitment” was a dirty word.

I’d always been on board with the whole sharing the love thing, and we’d messed around and slept together in the past without either of us expecting or wanting anything more. What had changed now, and why had it suddenly snuck up on me at the worst possible moment, with the one man that I shouldn’t and couldn’t have?

I needed to shut this down right now—falling for him was the worst thing I could do. That was a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

As I helplessly returned his smile, though, I had a sinking feeling it was already too late.