The Bonds We Break by Becca Steele

EIGHTEEN

After the party had ended, Cassius had come back to my apartment, and we’d spent the night getting reacquainted with each other. He’d stayed over but had left early in the morning to do some family thing with Lena and their parents. Building on my conversation with Winter, I’d decided not to mope around inside all day, so I’d spent an hour talking with my brother before I’d arranged to meet one of my classmates for coffee in town for the first time since the incident at the docks.

While I was out, the texts had come through, but I hadn’t read them until I’d returned home, by which point I had six waiting for me—although four of the six were just GIFs.

Sex God:Busy tomorrow?

Sex God:*inquiring minds want to know GIF*

Sex God:Jessaaaaaaaaaaa

Then, about an hour later, there were three in quick succession:

Sex God:*tapping watch GIF* *waiting GIF* *bored GIF*

Smiling to myself, I replied.

Me:I assume you’re the one who changed your contact name in my phone to sex god

Sex God:YOU’RE ALIVE *shocked emoji*

Me:Always so dramatic Cass

Sex God:Did I dick you so good that you passed out and couldn’t answer for FOUR HOURS?

Me:Yes that’s exactly what happened *eye roll emoji* *laughing emoji*

Sex God:Thought so. So???

Me:I’m free. Want to come here or should I come to you?

Sex God:Neither. Wanna see me beat you at crazy golf?

Me:Like a date?!

Sex God:No like a starter before the main event

Me:The main event being???

Sex God:Don’t pretend you don’t know. You’re dying to ride my dick again

Me:Am I?

Sex God:Yep. Pack a bag and prepare to be sore tomorrow

Me:Big promises

Sex God:Big dick

Me:BIG ego

Sex God:With good reason

Me:OK I feel like this could go on for a while. To answer your question, yes I’d love to beat you at crazy golf

Me:And the rest. Thanks for inviting me x

Sex God:You mean you’d love me to beat you. If I win do I get a treat? My cock in dsgfkk

What was that supposed to mean? I stared at my screen, frowning, then another message came through.

Sex God:This textual foreplay is disgusting *puke emoji*

I was even more confused by this point, until I received the next response.

Sex God:Sorry my ANNOYING AS FUCK SISTER stole my phone. I’ll pick you up at ten

Even though the thought of Lena reading some of those messages made me grimace, I couldn’t help laughing at the way they acted towards each other. How much had she read? Not that there was particularly anything to hide, but there were some things that you really didn’t want your siblings to see.

As if he read my mind, he replied a couple of seconds later.

Sex God:She only saw the last few messages

Sex God:See you tomorrow

Me:OK

I hesitated for a minute, then added a heart at the end of the message, instantly regretting it in case he thought I was pushing for more. But a few minutes later, my phone lit up with another text.

Sex God:*heart emoji*

* * *

Standing in my apartment window, I scanned the street. My spine prickled with awareness, and an uneasy feeling rolled through me. There was a flash of movement below, and I jumped before realising that it was just a cat.

I guess it would take a while for me to stop seeing things in the shadows.

The unease was wiped away when a matte black SUV pulled up to the kerb, and I quickly grabbed my small overnight bag and made my way downstairs.

This isn’t a date, I reminded myself. Still, when I stepped outside of my apartment doors to see Cassius grinning at me, his arm casually leaning on the window of his SUV and sunglasses covering his eyes, my heart skipped a beat.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” A small, shy smile pulled at my lips. I rounded the car and climbed in, throwing my bag into the back.

Cassius started up the engine, glancing in the rear-view mirror, his hand resting on the steering wheel.

He paused, his gaze flicking across to me. I didn’t even get a chance to take a breath before he was leaning across the centre console and slanting his lips over mine.

The kiss was over as quickly as it had begun, but it was enough to send butterflies racing through me. And when Cassius manoeuvred away from the kerb, the smile on his face was different to his usual cocky grin.

Notadatenotadatenotadate, I repeated in my head, enough times that it eventually sunk in by the time we reached the crazy golf course. We picked up our clubs and golf balls—yellow for me, green for Cass—and made our way onto the pirate-themed course. It was set partway up a cliff, overlooking the sea and the pier, and was unsurprisingly busy since it was the middle of summer.

What I couldn’t work out was why Cassius had invited me on what would have been a date to anyone else, or I guess a friendly thing if we hadn’t been sleeping together. But whatever was going on inside his head, I was happy. Happy to be here, spending time with the man I was falling for, just me and him.

“How did Lena manage to steal your phone yesterday?” I asked as we attempted to hit our golf balls up a miniature gangplank.

Cassius huffed. “She came out of nowhere like a bloody ninja, right when I was in the middle of replying to you. She owes me, big time. Even more than before.”

Twirling my club around, I eyed my ball’s destination before stepping up. A quick tap, and it rolled the short distance up the gangplank, coming to a stop at the top next to Cassius’ ball. “What did she owe you for before?”

“I voluntarily sexiled myself for the night when she moved into our house at the start of the summer, okay, mostly so I didn’t have to bleach my eyeballs and ears. But she owes me for that, and now she owes me for this, too.” He pulled a face as he hit his ball far too hard, sending it flying through the open jaws of a shark and straight past the hole, rebounding off the wooden board.

“That’s terrible.”

“I can sense your sarcasm, you know.” His hand shot out, and he grabbed me around the waist, his fingers tickling my sides. I let out a loud shriek, scrambling away from him.

“Babe, come back here. I just wanna cuddle.” Holding out his arms, he gave me an innocent, wide-eyed look, but I wasn’t fooled.

“Fuck off.”

A hard glare came from a woman at the hole next to ours, accompanied by about five kids. She stepped up to me, shoving her finger at my chest. “Mind your language! There are children present!”

“Sorry.” I pulled a contrite face, ignoring Cassius practically collapsing with laughter.

“Disgusting behaviour. In public, as well!” Her outraged mutters continued as she turned her back on us and marched back to her own hole.

“Oh, Jessa.” Cassius had recovered from his laughing fit, and he came up behind me, leaning down to speak in my ear, all low and husky. “What a dirty, dirty mouth you have.”

I shivered at his words.

Then he had to ruin it.

“You should wash that dirty mouth out. With my c—”

Reaching up, I slapped my hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. There are children present, remember.”

He laughed against my hand, and after a second, I joined him.

We made it around the rest of the course without incident, Cassius proclaiming himself the King of the Pirates when he received a pirate hat made of cardboard as his reward for winning the game. He wore it for all of five minutes, took about a hundred selfies for his social media, then decided he’d had enough of wearing it.

After stowing the hat in the car, he turned to me. “I’m hungry. Want to get some food?”

I stared up at him, surprised. I’d assumed that we’d go back to his place after golf, but if he wanted to spend more time out here with me, I’d take it. “Yeah, okay.”

He gave me a blinding grin. “Good.”

The not-date-date continued with chips down at the seafront. When we’d finished the last of them, he threw our bags in the bin and came jogging back over to me. I watched the people around us admire him, and I was once again struck with disbelief that he’d chosen to spend time with me, out of everyone.

“Ice cream?” His hand reached out, and his fingers brushed against mine as I nodded. When we stepped up to the ice cream kiosk, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder, and it took everything in me to concentrate on the ice cream flavours listed rather than the feel of his body against mine.

“Uh. Strawberry with clotted cream, please,” I told the white-haired woman at the kiosk after Cassius had placed his order. “I’ve got these.” Pulling my debit card from the pocket of my shorts, I handed it over.

“I was gonna get those,” he complained, placing a soft kiss to my cheek.

“Too late.”

He kissed me again.

“Young love.” The woman sighed dreamily from behind the counter, and I felt Cass smile against the side of my face. The fact that he made no move to correct her shouldn’t and didn’t mean anything, but my heart still sped up at the thought of us being a real couple. It was all too easy to imagine right then.

When we both had our ice creams, I turned to head down onto the beach, and Cassius fell into step next to me. His free hand brushed against mine again, but this time, he threaded his fingers through mine.

The butterflies inside me were going crazy.

Not a date, remember.

To distract myself, I took the first taste of my ice cream, swiping my tongue over the melting strawberry creaminess.

“Ohhhh,” I moaned as the delicious taste burst on my tongue. “This is so good.” I licked around the sides, catching the drips before they made their way down the cone. “How’s yours?”

When Cassius didn’t reply, I turned my head to see him staring at my mouth, his own ice cream dripping over his hand unnoticed.

“Cass?”

“I can’t do this,” he muttered to himself. He tugged at my hand, turning us in the opposite direction from where I’d been heading, leading me under the pier. It was quiet under here, most people preferring to bask in the sun.

“Can’t do what?” I asked him when he came to a stop next to one of the huge wooden supports that held up the pier.

“Do you have any idea how fucking difficult it is to not get a boner around you?”

Oh. I smiled. “Sorry?”

“You’re not sorry.” He crowded up against me so my back was to the wood and leaned down. “Licking that ice cream like that and moaning. My dick is big, babe. That means I can’t hide my boner in public, not in these shorts.” His tongue darted out, and he swiped some of my ice cream as he pressed into me.

“I wouldn’t rub up against me if you want it to go down.”

“How are you so unaffected?” He stared down at me, his pupils dilated.

Angling my head forwards, I tasted his ice cream. Chocolatey deliciousness, rich and smooth, slid across my tongue. “Mmm. So good. I—”

His mouth came down on top of mine before I had a chance to finish the rest of the sentence. When we broke apart, both of us were breathing heavily, and our ice creams were dripping everywhere.

“I’m not unaffected,” I said breathlessly. Taking hold of his free hand, I placed it over my left breast. “Feel my heart rate. Feel how hard my nipples are.”

He ran his thumb over my nipple, circling it, and I moaned softly.

“If you moved your hand lower, you’d feel just how wet I am for you.”

“Fuck, Jessa.”

“Hurry up and finish your ice cream, then we can go somewhere more private.”

He didn’t take any more convincing, and neither did I, for that matter. We finished our ice creams in record time and headed straight back to the car.

* * *

We couldn’t get enough of each other physically, but it wasn’t only about the sex, despite what I told myself. Our emotional connection was growing stronger by the day. Over the time we’d spent together since I’d first stayed with the Four, both of us had been gradually uncovering the details of each other’s lives, connecting us on a deeper level. No matter how ill-advised it was, since it was supposed to be a casual thing between us, and I knew that the closer we became, the more it would hurt when our arrangement inevitably ended.

We were in the middle of one of those conversations in his kitchen later that evening, learning more about each other while I prepped lasagne for everyone, and Cassius threw together a salad and homemade garlic bread.

“Did you always want to work at Alstone Holdings? Or did you feel like you have to follow that path since your family partly owns it?” Straightening up, I closed the oven door and set the timer, then hopped up onto the counter.

Cassius placed his knife down and moved to stand between my legs, his arms planted either side of me. “Both, I guess. My parents never pushed me, but they let me see the benefits of having a hand in the business.” He tilted his head forwards to kiss me, gently tugging my bottom lip between his teeth. “Did your dad…”

“He didn’t spell it out, but with Austin going off and doing his own thing, I definitely felt the responsibility of going into the family business.” I wound my arms around his neck, shifting so that my body was aligned with his. “I don’t mind, though. It’s always been interesting to me, and now that his business has more or less merged with Alstone Holdings—” I cut myself off before I could mention how I’d thought about us working together, as business associates, when my mind had run away with me and I’d imagined the impossible dream of us being in a real, long-term relationship.

“Something smells good.”

I disentangled myself from Cassius to see Weston peering into the oven.

“Jessa cooked for us,” Cass was quick to say. “She’s got many hidden talents.” He flashed me a grin before leering at Weston.

West held up his hands. “I don’t wanna know.” Sauntering over to the fridge, he threw it open and fished out a bottle of beer before turning back to Cassius. “But going by the noises I heard from your bedroom earlier, I can imagine.”

Cassius shrugged. “You could’ve invited yourself in. We wouldn’t have minded an audience, would we?” His gaze flicked to mine, and I laughed. It was true…but not. There were times when I didn’t mind an audience, enjoyed it, even, but here, with Cassius’ closest friends…it was different. These were the people who knew him better than anyone. His family, not by blood, but their bond was unbreakable.

So I changed the subject. “What’s the matte black thing all about? I meant to ask you before.”

“Our cars?” West leaned back against the counter, his bottle of beer dangling from his fingertips.

“Yeah.”

He glanced at Cassius. “Cade, wasn’t it?”

Cassius nodded. “Yeah, when he got his R8. He turned up one weekend and his car was matte black, then it was Z’s bike, and I was bored of my SUV colour, so…”

“Remember when Cade had Winter’s car redone in matte black?”

“That’s when we knew it was true luuuurve.” Cassius pretended to swoon, clasping his hands over his heart.

“She didn’t even know what it meant at the time.” Weston shook his head. “He was so into her, it was ridiculous.”

“Even when he wouldn’t admit it. And he still is.”

“True.”

I smiled, although it was bittersweet. Caiden and Winter…I couldn’t even imagine either of them being with anyone else now, especially not since I’d come to know Winter. It made me long for a relationship like that of my own, even though that had never been a priority for me before.

Glancing over at Cassius, I caught his eye, and he gave me a soft smile, which I returned.

I had to face the truth. It wasn’t Caiden and Winter that had made me want a relationship.

It was him.