The Bonds We Break by Becca Steele

TWENTY-SEVEN

The queue for Sanctuary snaked down the street, and I smiled as Winter and I posed for a selfie, making sure that we had the Sanctuary sign in the background. Despite the club still being fairly new, it was already a venue that people wanted to be seen at. My brother deserved all the success in the world, and I was more than happy to help out however I could by spreading the word and posting photos. Especially now that no one was after me.

My nightmares had more or less disappeared, but I’d been seeing a therapist recommended by Lena, and just having that weekly chat was balancing me like nothing else had.

Things were better, so much better now. But still, I missed Cassius, more than I could ever have imagined.

That saying, “Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all…” it was wrong. If you’d never loved, how would you know what you were missing?

That was another thought that was currently banned from my head.

I focused on my surroundings, smiling at the tall, tattooed bouncer with the shaved head. He waved us in, and I entered the bar area, followed by Winter.

“Want a drink?” Taking a step towards the bar, I was stopped by her hand on my arm.

“Not here. Let’s go to the VIP area, shall we?”

“Okay.” Turning on my heel, I made my way in the direction of the stairs that led to the mezzanine level. Winter flashed me a smile, darting past me to reach the stairs first. I raised a brow at her unusual behaviour but said nothing, just returning her smile.

When we reached the top of the stairs, I saw Caiden reclined in one of the booths in conversation with my brother and another dark-haired guy.

I came to a stuttering halt. “Oh. I didn’t know Cade was going to be here.” Shooting Winter a wide-eyed look, I scrambled to amend my words. “I didn’t mean…I’m not annoyed that he’s here or anything. I just didn’t expect—”

Winter laughed, tilting her head to mine. “Don’t stress. He’s just here to keep me company while you’re…”

“While I’m what?” I prompted when she left the sentence unfinished. Her gaze darted to my left, and I turned in time to see a man bounding towards me, all glittery, toned skin and a huge grin on his face.

“While you’re with me!” JJ swept me into his arms, placing a loud, smacking kiss on my cheek.

“Hi.” I returned his greeting with a pleased smile, then rubbed at the smudge of lipstick I’d left on his cheek. “Sorry, got a bit of lipstick on you.”

He gripped my hand, leading me towards the far end of the VIP area. “It wouldn’t be the first time. What do you think of my eyeliner? I’m experimenting with upping the glitter count.”

I examined him as he batted his lashes at me, showing off the smooth black liner with iridescent silver sparkles shot through it. “I love it. You look hot. Also, I’m jealous of that flick you’ve managed with the liner. I can never get mine to look that good.”

He beamed at me. “Plenty of practice. Anyway, you don’t need it. You look…” Coming to a stop in front of the black curtain that led into the lap dance room, he looked me up and down, tapping his lips with a finger. “Effervescent,” he said eventually.

“Effervescent? What?”

“Yep. Oh, here we are.” Sweeping the curtain aside with a dramatic flourish, he pointed in the direction of the booths. “Take a seat.”

The room was dark, even more so than it had been the last time I’d been here, and a low, pulsing beat thrummed through the space, making me want to dance. But curious to see what JJ was up to, I followed his instructions and made my way to the unoccupied booth.

“Are you ready to see some impressive moves?” He spun around in front of me, his entire body shimmering under the lights from head to toe.

“Always,” I told him with a smile.

“Good.” He drew the thick, heavy curtain around the booth, enclosing us in the space. “Your private dance, my lady.”

I reclined back in the booth, watching as he prowled towards me, and then I jumped as he snapped his fingers in my face.

“You need a drink. I’ll be back.” Then he was ducking out of the booth, closing the curtain behind him. Actually, now he mentioned it, I could do with a drink. It had been a long first week back at uni, settling into the routine of lectures and coursework and attempting not to think about a certain person, and tonight was about having fun with Winter. And Caiden now, I guessed.

Maybe I’d just hang out in here with JJ so I wasn’t a third wheel.

My phone buzzed with a message from my dad, reminding me that there was a networking event at Alstone Town Hall on Sunday, hosted by Alstone Holdings, and it would be “nice” if I could attend. In other words, he expected me to be there, which was completely fine but didn’t work well with my whole “avoiding Cassius until I got over him” thing. Hopefully, there would be a lot of people in attendance so I could keep my distance. I replied to say that I’d see him there, dropping my phone back into my small handbag just as the curtain rustled, followed by the sound of a bottle clinking on the table.

Placing my bag on the booth seat, I raised my head.

My mouth dropped open.

There was dead silence as we stared at one another.

“You’re not JJ,” I said stupidly, finally finding my voice.

“Nope.” A slow smile spread across Cassius’ face, his eyes bright and sparkling with amusement and something else…anticipation, maybe.

I drank him in greedily, not understanding why he was here but knowing that I never wanted him to leave. His body, toned and strong, shone with—was that oil? And the gold shorts…tight didn’t even cover it. Bloody hell. Very, very few people could make shorts like that look good, but I guess he was one of those few. I mean, they barely covered anything, and all that tanned skin on display was quite honestly frying my brain.

“Don’t look at me like that.” His voice came out low and husky, making me shiver, even though he gave me a cheeky grin. “I haven’t got room for a boner in these shorts.”

“How…what?” I gestured at him.

“Your friend JJ.”

Taking a deep breath, I tore my gaze away from his body and back to his face. “What’s going on here, Cass?”

“Your private dance.” With those words, he stepped closer, leaning down into my space and planting his arms on either side of me. “Remember the rule.”

He was so close that I could make out his individual lashes, his breath hitting my lips as he spoke. “No.” His body rolled against mine, and my heart raced.

“Touching.” Rising up, he straddled me, up on his knees, keeping space between us.

“The.” He lowered his hips, and I ached for him.

“Dancers.” His mouth came down on mine.

It was everything. He consumed me with his kiss, a tsunami of taste and touch and feeling, sweeping me away. I gripped the edges of the seat, the feel of the soft leather grounding me as he kissed me like he’d never kissed me before. Like he’d never get enough.

“Cass,” I whispered against his mouth when he paused to take a breath. He stared down at me, breathing hard, his pupils swallowing the blue of his eyes.

“I want you so fucking much.” His voice was raw. “Fuck.”

“Have me.” I leaned up to swipe my tongue across his lips, and he groaned.

“We can’t…we’re not having sex in your brother’s club.”

“No one will know,” I breathed, arching towards him, my nipples hard and sensitive, brushing against the thin fabric of my dress. The ache between my thighs was impossible to ignore now, my pussy soaked and my clit throbbing.

“What…are your ribs okay?”

Warmth spread through me, his words penetrating the lust that had set my whole body alight. “They’re fine.”

He breathed out unsteadily, a sigh of relief.

This man was everything. And I needed him now. I’d been fooling myself by thinking I could get over him. Even if this right here was all I got, it would be worth it.

Nipping at his jaw, I murmured my words against his skin, soft and desperate. “I want you so badly, Cass.”

My words broke whatever was left of his restraint, and he shifted off me, yanking down the shorts with some difficulty and letting his hard cock spring free. Reaching up for him, I dragged him down onto the booth seat. I straddled him as he hiked up my dress, pushing the damp fabric of my underwear aside, and then slowly sank down onto his thick length.

I was so wet and ready for him, it was an easy glide, and when he was fully inside me, he moaned, his hold on me tightening. “Oh, fuck, Jessa.” His head hit the back of the booth as he pulled me down into a messy, desperate kiss.

“I’m not going to last.” Already I could feel the orgasm building inside me as I ground myself against him, his cock stretching me in the most delicious way.

“Me neither.” His hands gripped my hips, urging me on as he thrust up into me. “So. Fucking. Perfect.”

When I came, I felt him shuddering against me, his cock pulsing and filling me up as he found his own release.

He was right. So fucking perfect.

After he’d withdrawn from me, I let my body slump forwards, and his arms came up to encircle my body. We stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, and it felt like we were both too afraid to break the silence with the inevitable conversation that had to come.

But eventually, the silence was broken, although not by either of us.

“Care package, courtesy of the dancers’ dressing room. And your stuff.”

Turning my head, I saw JJ poking his head around the curtain, his whole face alight with humour. He placed a pile of what looked like clothes down on the table next to the forgotten prosecco, then laid a bag on top before disappearing again.

I sighed, climbing off Cassius. “I guess that’s our cue.” On slightly shaky legs, I made my way over to the table and examined the contents of the bag. “Tissues and baby wipes.”

Cassius came to stand next to me. “JJ’s a useful bloke to know, huh?”

“It would seem so.” We cleaned up in silence, and then Cassius unfolded the pile. Underwear, dark jeans, and a T-shirt. He grinned at my raised brow.

“I had to bring a change of clothes with me. Couldn’t go into the main club in those shorts. Not with your brother there.” Stuffing said shorts into the bag, he groaned. “Fuck, I think I ripped these when I was taking them off.” I laughed as he continued. “Your brother wouldn’t have appreciated them as much as you did.”

“Or me,” came a voice from behind the curtain, and then JJ reappeared. “If you ever want to model them again for me, feel free.” He shot Cassius a wink and added, “I’m always available to rub oil into you again, as well.”

After he’d also winked at me and grabbed the bag, he disappeared again, and I settled back in the booth, using the tiny mirror in my handbag to fix my hair and smudged makeup. “He rubbed oil into you, did he?”

“Yeah. I wanted to go for the full look.” Striking a pose, he flexed his pecs, and I blew him a kiss, laughing. He pretended to catch the kiss before his face fell. “He wouldn’t let me use the glitter, though. Said it would get all over your dress.”

His disappointed pout made me smile. “Hmm. Considering that my dress is now covered in your body oil, the glitter probably wouldn’t have made much difference.”

“Sorry.” Sinking down next to me, he bit his lip, glancing at my dress.

“It’s okay. It’s black, anyway, and the club’s dark. I doubt anyone will notice.” I hesitantly reached out, sliding my fingers between his, and a small smile appeared on his face.

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.”

“Oh?” I tilted my head, looking into his eyes.

“I was going to give you a lap dance and impress you with my moves, then I was going to talk to you.”

“Well, you definitely impressed me with your moves.” My free hand slid onto his thigh, and I gently squeezed. I swallowed hard, gathering my courage, and asked the question. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

His grip on my hand tightened, and he tugged me closer so my body was right up against his. This time when he spoke, his words were soft and serious. “I missed you so much.”

“Cass,” I whispered.

He stroked his fingers through my hair, brushing it back from my face. “Did-did you miss me?”

There was so much hesitance in his tone, and it took me a minute to formulate a reply. He needed total honesty from me, and I was going to give it. “Yeah, I missed you. I’ve missed you every single day we’ve been apart, if you really want to know.”

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, and he cleared his throat. “Good. It was the same for me.”

“Was it?”

I didn’t do a very good job of hiding my surprise, because he sighed heavily and said, “Yes. I was trying to respect your decision and give you space, but I couldn’t get you out of my head. Apparently I’ve been a bit…oblivious about my feelings for you. Or in denial. Whatever, I didn’t recognise them for what they were.”

“Your feelings for me?” All I could do was repeat his words, breathless with anticipation and hope and longing.

“Yeah.” His lips curved upwards. “And I’ve heard from a very reliable source that you might return those feelings.”

“I…” My fingers curled into the denim of his jeans. “I do.”

“Okay. Good.” He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine, not quite a kiss, but a soft touch that made me melt inside. “I hope you’re ready for the epic levels of disappointment this news will bring.”

I pulled back, staring at him. “What do you mean?”

His smile widened into the cocky grin that I loved. “When everyone finds out that I’m off the market. It’s going to break a lot of hearts.”

“I see.” I returned his smile. “I’m sure it’ll be okay. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.”

“But there’s only one Cassius Drummond.”

“Yeah.” There was a lump in my throat as I closed the distance between us. “You’re right. There’s only one of you, and you’re the only one for me.”

“I only want you, Jessa.” He captured my lips in a slow, soft kiss. I lost myself in the hot slide of our mouths, his tongue stroking against mine as he deepened the kiss. When he pulled away, he placed one final kiss on my lips. His gaze dropped to his hands, and I both felt and heard the heaving, unsteady breath that he took before his eyes returned to mine. An unreadable expression crossed his face.

“I’m going to tell you something now. I wasn’t going to say it yet, but fuck it. I need to tell you.”

I didn’t even dare to breathe, my heart pounding so hard that I wouldn’t be surprised if it could be heard over the noise of the music. He stared at me, biting his lip, and then he took another deep breath.

“I love you. I know we haven’t even properly made this official yet, but, yeah, there it is. I’m in love with you, Jessa De Witt.”

A shocked gasp fell from my lips as he spoke the words I hadn’t ever imagined he’d say, not in a million years. I’d hoped he might ask me to be his girlfriend, but this? I felt the tears filling my eyes as I was hit with a wave of emotion so powerful that I was helpless against it.

“I…I wasn’t expecting that. At all.” He opened his mouth, but I shook my head, rushing to continue so that I could get the words out before he got the wrong idea. “I love you, Cass. I’m actually stupidly in love with you, and I just wasn’t expecting you to feel the same way.”

Releasing my hand, he pulled me into his lap, holding me close. “I wouldn’t have worn those gold shorts and performed for you if I didn’t love you.”

I buried my laugh in his chest, loving the feel of him surrounding me with his warmth and strength. “You wouldn’t have even needed an excuse to wear those. I know you were dying to.”

“I can’t confirm or deny that.”

“I knew it.”

His arms tightened around me, like he never wanted to let me go. “You love me.” There was wonder in his tone.

“I do. So much.”

“Ready to go back out there and break the news to the others?”

Smiling, I traced a heart pattern over his chest with my finger. “Yes. As long as we avoid mentioning the sex part if my brother’s there.”

“Yeah, I don’t really wanna be subject to his wrath, thanks.” He shuddered dramatically against me. “Better find JJ before we go. I owe that man a drink.”

“You probably owe him a new pair of shorts, too,” I reminded him.

“I do. Might get myself a pair at the same time.”

“Why does this not surprise me?”

“So much judgement coming from the girl who reads about turgid members and moist channels.”

I punched him in the bicep, and he laughed down at me, his blue eyes bright and his face so happy that I wanted to freeze the moment. How was this my life?

Cassius Drummond loved me.

And he owned my heart.