Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan

Chapter 1

 

 

“I have some news for you, Cassandra.”

 

 

 

Cassandra looked up from her food. She and her parents were having dinner, the only sounds coming from their cutlery scraping against the plates as they ate. The noise had been making Cassandra flinch, especially whenever everything else had been practically silent.

 

 

 

She wanted to talk, discuss anything she could think of, but her parents were the type who said people must not say a thing during dinner unless they had guests.

 

 

 

Now she jumped at the chance to talk to her father.

 

 

 

“What is it, Father?”

 

 

 

John Felton, the Duke of Mandrake, looked over at his wife, who simply nodded. Then he turned back to his daughter.

 

 

 

“Your mother and I have decided that it’s time for you to head out into Society.”

 

 

 

For a moment, Cassandra thought she had misheard him. It had been almost a year since she turned eighteen, and she had been begging her parents to go out for her first Season. But her father had said absolutely not.

 

 

 

He never gave a proper reason, just that Cassandra needed to learn how to behave first. She had never really understood what he meant, but she had given up asking for a Season a few months ago.

 

 

 

They had changed their minds? Cassandra looked at her companion sitting across from her. Sarah Beech’s eyes were wide in bewilderment. Neither had expected this. Cassandra stared at her father.

 

 

 

“Really? Do you mean that you’re allowing me to go outside the estate?”

 

 

 

“Of course. It’s best that we do it sooner rather than later.” Mandrake speared a brussel sprout with his fork. “We didn’t think you were ready last year, but you’re ready now. So, you’re going to have the Season you’ve been asking for.”

 

 

 

Cassandra almost squealed and started jumping up and down in her seat. But she stopped herself in time when she saw the way her mother was watching her. Probably not the best time to behave in a way her parents called ‘undesirable.’ Swallowing back her excitement, Cassandra managed a sweet smile.

 

 

 

“Thank you, Father. I promise that I won’t let you down.”

 

 

 

Mandrake frowned.

 

 

 

“Don’t think this is a chance for you to go back to your former self, Cassandra. Letting you into the world has a purpose.”

 

 

 

“Purpose? What purpose?”

 

 

 

Lady Mandrake picked up her glass and took a sip of her wine.

 

 

 

“We’ve decided that it’s time for you to marry, darling. You’re at the prime age for marriage, and so we need to find you a husband.”

 

 

 

Cassandra’s heart sank. So, they weren’t doing it for her. They were doing it for themselves. Cassandra loved her parents, but they kept treating her like a piece of furniture they could move around when they wanted. She had lost count of how many times they scolded her for acting unladylike.

 

 

 

They had always refused to let her explore her passions. Cassandra hated being restricted and had hoped that entering Society would help the Duke and Duchess realize that she could be trusted to be out beyond the estate's walls. They had to know that she wasn’t completely wild because she chose to have different ideals and an outgoing personality that didn’t fit with their image of a perfect daughter.

 

 

 

They put a lot of pressure on her, and it drove Cassandra mad.

 

 

 

“So, you’re only allowing me to meet people outside of my family so you can find someone to marry me off to.” She said slowly.

 

 

 

“You know your place, even if you choose to deny it.” Lady Mandrake shrugged. “You need a husband.”

 

 

 

“But…”

 

 

 

“No buts, Cassandra.” Mandrake cut in sharply. “We’ve made this decision, and you’re going to listen to us.”

 

 

 

Cassandra glanced at Sarah, wishing that her friend and companion was brave enough to speak up for her. But Sarah was scared of the Duke and Duchess of Mandrake, and she had her head bowed, concentrating on her dinner. Cassandra turned to her father.

 

 

 

“What if I don’t want a husband immediately, Father?”

 

 

 

Mandrake frowned. The idea of waiting to find a husband seemed to be outrageous in his eyes.

 

 

 

“That is not an option, Cassandra.” He snapped. He took a hefty gulp of his wine, still scowling. “It won’t be long before you’re considered too old for marriage, so your mother and I need to start finding you a husband as soon as possible. We did consider doing it last year when you turned eighteen, but you were still too...spirited. That’s not an attractive look on a young lady.”

 

 

 

“Perhaps a gentleman might like that I’m more spirited than another woman.” Cassandra pointed out. “It makes me stand out. Maybe that is considered attractive. But you won’t know until it happens.”

 

 

 

“It is not attractive, and you’ll only end up embarrassing us.”

 

 

 

Cassandra very much doubted it. The few times her parents had had guests over, and Cassandra had slipped out of the confined shell to show who she really was, the guests had been impressed.

 

 

 

She had been given a lot of compliments. But her parents acted as if she had committed a crime, and they had scolded her about her behaviour. Cassandra couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let her express herself. She was not a puppet.

 

 

 

The idea of finding a husband wasn’t really attractive. Knowing her parents were involved made it even less desirable.

 

 

 

“But I don’t want to marry for a few years, Father.” Cassandra protested. “I’ll have plenty of time to find myself someone to marry and have a family with. There’s no rush.”

 

 

 

Lady Mandrake snorted.

 

 

 

“There are plenty of reasons to rush. You’re getting old.”

 

 

 

“I’m eighteen!”

 

 

 

“And soon you’ll be twenty and unmarried, and then you’ll be considered too old for marriage.” Her mother shook her head. “Anyway, what do you know about men? Do you know who’s suitable for you?”

 

 

 

“I like to think I’ve got a good sense of character.”

 

 

 

“You don’t know anything about titles or social status, Cassandra. That’s important, and you seem to forget that.” Lady Mandrake pursed her lips in disapproval. “It’s like when you made friends with the gardener’s son and ran around with him playing knights and dragons. A young lady doesn’t do things like that.”

 

 

 

Cassandra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was going to get frustrated in a moment, and then she would be scolded for over-expressing herself. Anything above a simple, cool monotone was considered over-expressive, and it made Cassandra want to scream. It was just not fair.

 

 

 

“Mother, apart from Sarah, I’m alone here. I want to interact with other people my age.”

 

 

 

“We’re here. You can interact with us.”

 

 

 

“Are you going to play knights and dragons with me?” Cassandra quipped.

 

 

 

“Don’t talk to your mother like that.” Her father scolded. “The gardener’s son didn’t know his place, and you keep forgetting yours.”

 

 

 

Cassandra glared at him.

 

 

 

“I think Brendan knew his place after you fired his father. It wasn’t even his fault.”

 

 

 

“He didn’t keep his son in line. Reputation is everything. What do you think people would say if they heard that a Duke’s daughter was cavorting around with a gardener’s boy?”

 

 

 

“We were twelve! We weren’t cavorting!”

 

 

 

“You should not have been interacting with him in the first place. That will not happen again.”

 

 

 

He was right that it wasn’t happening again. Cassandra had cried for nearly a week after Brendan and his father were dismissed and told never to return. He was the only person on the estate who was close to her age, and he didn’t mind that she was a Duke’s daughter.

 

 

 

Whenever she had spare time after her lessons, they played together and created games using their imagination. Mrs Edwards, Cassandra’s governess, had actively encouraged it. She said there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, and playing out games was healthy.

 

 

 

Her parents hadn’t thought so. Within a day, Brendan and his father, who was a kind man, were gone, and Mrs Edwards had followed soon after. Her parents had been furious. It was horrifying to see the people who actually chose to treat her like a child disappear, leaving Cassandra with a new governess and servants who refused to interact with her beyond the formalities.

 

 

 

Lord Mandrake had no idea how suffocating it was to be stuck inside with no one to talk to. So it was no wonder Cassandra acted out in their eyes.

 

 

 

Cassandra put her hands in her lap.

 

 

 

“I want to go into Society and meet people, Father. I want to have a life where I’m not stuck on the estate and not allowed to talk to anyone who isn’t you, Mother or Sarah.”

 

 

 

“You will do as you’re told, Cassandra.” Mandrake shook his head and cut into his meat. “That governess of yours invited too much chaos when she was here. Six years on, and you’re just starting to become what you’re supposed to be.”

 

 

 

“Mrs Edwards said that I should be able to use my imagination without so much restriction. There was nothing wrong with that.”

 

 

 

“You’re a Duke’s daughter. None of what she suggested is acceptable.” He held up a hand as Cassandra started to protest again. “There will be no more arguments on this, Cassandra. You will have a husband before the Season’s finished, and hopefully, they will be able to tame you into a more respectable lady. You had better not show that appalling attitude of yours in front of them, or you’ll end up humiliating us. Do I make myself clear?”

 

 

 

He wanted her to be moulded into what he wanted. He should know by now that doing that was pointless. Cassandra swallowed back what she wanted to say and picked up her knife and fork, staring at the food on her plate.

 

 

 

“Yes, Father. You make yourself very clear.”

 

 

 

All of a sudden, she had lost her appetite.

 

 

 

#

 

 

 

“Cassie?”

 

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

 

Cassandra looked up. Sarah was watching her in the mirror. Then Cassandra remembered. She was sitting at her dressing table while Sarah brushed her hair, tugging the bristles through the tangles that were threatening to form.

 

 

 

She had been so much into her own thoughts that she had forgotten that Sarah was there. Cassandra sighed and rubbed at her eyes.

 

 

 

“Forgive me, Sarah. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I was thinking of something else.”

 

 

 

“You weren’t ignoring me. I’m fine with you thinking quietly.” Sarah gave her a gentle smile. “But you were starting to frown. What were you thinking about?”

 

 

 

Cassandra knew she could talk about anything with Sarah. Her friend was the daughter of a lowly baronet who had grown up on the other side of Lake Windermere. She had failed in Society because of her status and the fact that she was plain - her parents’ words, not Cassandra’s - so her father had reached out to the Duke of Mandrake, asking if there was a position he had for Sarah.

 

 

 

Lord Mandrake had immediately offered to let her be Cassandra’s companion. Now Cassandra was eighteen, she was too old for a governess, and he wanted to have someone watching over her. So, Sarah had arrived a week after Mrs McMahon left, and Cassandra knew why her companion had been chosen.

 

 

 

But there was a secret side to Sarah that her parents hadn’t known about. She had a spirited side of her, an adventurous attitude that she had to hold back, but whenever she smiled, it made her eyes twinkle. Cassandra had noticed it immediately and knew they were going to become good friends. And they were, even if her parents thought Sarah was making Cassandra behave.

 

 

 

They had no idea of any of the things the two young ladies got up to.

 

 

 

So, if Cassandra confided in Sarah about anything, it never went any further. She picked at a loose thread on her nightgown.

 

 

 

“I’m excited about finally leaving the house. Being told that I have to stay with family and I’m not allowed to go out of sight of the house takes its toll on me. I feel like a bird trapped in a cage. But going out to simply find a husband? I can’t get excited about that.”

 

 

 

“Your parents only want what is best for you.”

 

 

 

“How is finding me a husband I might not even like the best for me, Sarah? Why do I have to restrain who I really am so a gentleman finds me attractive?” Cassandra huffed. “It’s just not fair. I have so many restrictions on me that it feels like I’m going mad.”

 

 

 

Sarah sighed.

 

 

 

“I’m afraid it’s the way of Society. There is a specific ideal, and we all have to follow it.”

 

 

 

“Especially when it comes to my parents,” Cassandra muttered. She glowered at her reflection. Her hair was longer than ever, and it was beginning to make her head hurt. It was thick, so it made her hair really heavy. But she wasn’t permitted to have her hair cut more than a slight trim. Her mother wanted her to have long, gorgeous hair.

 

 

 

Image was everything to her mother and father. They were obsessed with looking perfect, and because Cassandra was strong in personality and wasn’t afraid to explore something new, they disapproved of her. They considered Cassandra to be flawed and untameable, which was unfair. What was wrong with being different? Cassandra didn’t think it was a problem.

 

 

 

Her parents thought otherwise.

 

 

 

“Oh, darling,” Sarah put the brush down and put her hands on Cassandra’s shoulders. “I love you. I love your ability to be sweet and bright, and I adore your fun-loving nature. It’s what has made the last ten months enjoyable after having a disaster of a Season myself. I’m surprised we haven’t gotten caught with the things we get up to on the estate.”

 

 

 

“There’s nothing to do on the estate unless I want to stab my hands with needles or cut my fingers on paper,” Cassandra grumbled. “You have to use your imagination, but when I do that, I’m scolded. If they gave me something to do that was actually interesting, I’m sure I wouldn’t have a problem. But they keep things so bland, and it’s no wonder that I go off and do my own thing.”

 

 

 

The most interesting thing they could do without being silly was going for walks. Long walks. But, even then, Cassandra had to be careful with which paths she took. They all have to be on the estate, and she couldn’t have the house out of sight, even for just a moment. Cassandra ignored that rule because it was ridiculous. It was like they thought she was going to sneak off the estate and interact with the young men in the village.

 

 

 

If they didn’t treat her like a caged animal, she wouldn’t have the temptation to do so.

 

 

 

“Your parents do love you, Cassie,” Sarah said gently. “And they want the best for you.”

 

 

 

“But is it the best for me? It doesn’t feel like it.”

 

 

 

“I know, but I’m sure you’ll understand where they’re coming from one day.”

 

 

 

Cassandra doubted it. She had been dealing with that all her life. In the beginning, she hadn’t known any better, but the older she got and the more questions she asked, the more Cassandra realized that it wasn’t healthy. Her parents were far too protective, and they didn’t see anything wrong. No matter how much she protested, they refused to bend.

 

 

 

It was hardly a surprise that Cassandra yearned for something more out of life. She wanted to be able to have some freedom, do what she wanted. If she managed to obtain a husband, it would be of her own volition. She would be able to choose, and he would love her no matter what she did. A decent man would appreciate his wife being someone with a less restrained approach to life.

 

 

 

Cassandra had seen how restricted and cold her parents were, even to each other. It may work for them, but it wouldn’t for her.

 

 

 

“What’s wrong with expressing myself a little bit?” Cassandra got up and started to pace across the room. “They didn’t give me any friends until you came along because they were scared of me straying. I’m surprised I know how to talk to someone! How am I supposed to entertain myself in a little room with Mrs McMahon all day?”

 

 

 

“At least you don’t have a governess anymore.” Sarah pointed out.

 

 

 

That was something. Cassandra had loved Mrs Edwards, but then she was forced to leave after letting her charge have a little too much freedom, and Mrs McMahon had come in. She had been a strict disciplinarian and made Cassandra focus on her studies.

 

 

 

That wouldn’t have been a problem if it hadn’t been for the knowledge she wasn’t allowed to go out of the governess’s sight. She had very strong ideas on what a young lady should do, and Cassandra running off to play a make-believe game was not a part of it.

 

 

 

She hadn’t even been allowed to read what she wanted to read. Instead, Mrs McMahon made her read the most boring books possible, so Cassandra had to sneak a book into her room to read after she was put to bed. It made her exhausted, but it was worth it. She loved to read, and she wasn’t about to be put off it because of a governess who said she shouldn’t read things like The Monk or Pamela.

 

 

 

God, she hated that woman. It had been a relief to know Mrs McMahon was leaving because her child was of age now. Cassandra didn’t bother to come and say farewell. If she had, she would have said something that was very unladylike. Her mother hadn’t been impressed by her manners, but Cassandra didn’t think she should give a person she despised any attention.

 

 

 

She had enjoyed learning. She liked to find out things about their past and present, and she had a quick mind. But it was difficult to fully immerse herself with a lady who didn’t even allow Cassandra to look out of the window to ease her hurting eyes.

 

 

 

She had been very aware that Sarah was not meant to be a friend when she first arrived but a companion to keep her out of trouble. However, their bond had been strong, and Sarah had never betrayed Cassandra’s confidence.

 

 

 

Her parents must have thought Sarah was a good influence. In reality, the two women were just as adventurous as each other. Sarah had said as long as she expressed herself, within reason, then she didn’t have a problem with what her charge did.

 

 

 

That Cassandra would be forever grateful for.

 

 

 

“Do you think I’ll manage in Society, Sarah?” Cassandra looked down at herself. “Will people like me as I am?”

 

 

 

Sarah smiled, her eyes sparkling.

 

 

 

“I think they’re going to love you, darling. Especially with your wealth and beauty. That is definitely going to be attractive.”

 

 

 

“That doesn’t make me feel any better, Sarah. Wealth and beauty are only on the surface.” Cassandra gestured at herself. “It’s not me, is it?”

 

 

 

“It’s what you’re supposed to show off to everyone, but I think everyone will see what I do.” Sarah crossed the room and took her hands. “They’ll see a beautiful, gracious woman with a genuine smile and a natural disposition. You’ll be fine. I’m sure you’ll have the gentlemen lining up to get your attention.”

 

 

 

“But I don’t want gentlemen lining up. I just want to meet new people. Fall in love on my own terms.”

 

 

 

“I’m sure that will happen regardless.”

 

 

 

Cassandra hoped so. She liked to do things at her own pace. There was no point rushing into things when she didn’t know how it was going to go. She wanted to weigh all of her options before deciding not get thrust into the middle of it all. That was just not fair. Her parents were asking for too much, too fast.

 

 

 

Neither of them would listen to her on it.

 

 

 

“I don’t think my parents will approve, though. My idea of a husband is different to theirs.”

 

 

 

“I know. But there will be a time when they realize that you’re not someone they can mould. I’m sure they will trust your judgement at some point.”

 

 

 

“I don’t think they will.”

 

 

 

Sarah squeezed her friend’s hands.

 

 

 

“We don’t know until it happens. You might even find someone they consider suitable. Just as long as you pick and choose when to show the real person who you really are and not be so upfront about it all the time, you’ll manage the ton perfectly. I know you will.”

 

 

 

Pick and choose. Cassandra could do that. She didn’t want to be something she wasn’t and get married, only for her husband to realize that she was anything but what he expected. If he couldn’t accept her as she was, then he wasn’t worth marrying.

 

 

 

A quiver of excitement started building in her belly. While she didn’t like the idea of being paraded around, she was looking forward to actually stepping out of the estate and meeting new people. Making new friends. Cassandra wanted to make an impression and find people her own age to talk to. That would make things a little brighter for her.

 

 

 

She could only hope she didn’t make a fool of herself with her restricted and sheltered lifestyle.

 

 

 

“Come on, Cassie.” Sarah tugged her towards the dressing table. “I’ve got to finish brushing your hair. Then we need to get to bed. We’ve got a dress fitting for you tomorrow.”