Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan

Chapter 2

 

 

“How do I look?” Cassandra asked, looking at herself in the mirror.

 

 

 

Sarah appeared behind her and grinned.

 

 

 

“You look gorgeous, Cassie. I think you’ll be drawing the eye with everyone in that dress.”

 

 

 

Her new dress was fitted to her body like a glove, her corset fastened tightly, and her gloves covering her hands. It was a beautiful material in pale pink, and Cassandra had decided it was worth getting stuck with pins to get it to where it was. But she still felt like she was made up with too much. She was nervous about leaving the room. Would her parents approve?

 

 

 

Why do you want your parents’ approval when you haven’t looked for it before?

 

 

 

I shouldn’t, but I do.

 

 

 

Deep down, Cassandra wanted her mother and father to approve of something she did or how she presented herself. They had a fixed idea of what they wanted, and Cassandra knew her coming out was based on what they decided for her. If she followed some of their rules and kept her head down, maybe they would see that she could be trusted and relax a little.

 

 

 

It was a stretch, but Cassandra hoped that would be the case. She wanted tonight to go well, and then perhaps they would let her go to more social gatherings without hovering around her.

 

 

 

Tonight would be a test for all of them. It was a ball, a local one that was much smaller than the usual dances, but it was where the people Cassandra needed to interact with would be present. She could do that. While she was excited to meet more people and make some friends, she wasn’t sure if she would manage if her first outing into Society was in a huge crowd. Start small, Sarah said.

 

 

 

Hopefully, tonight wouldn’t be too bad. If Cassandra could actually leave the room.

 

 

 

Sarah took her arm, steering her towards the door.

 

 

 

“We’d better go downstairs before your father comes searching for us. We’re going to be late if you carry on staring at yourself in the mirror.”

 

 

 

“Oh. I…”

 

 

 

Sarah smiled.

 

 

 

“Cassie, I know you’re nervous, but you’re going to be fine. You’ll make a lasting impression there, and you know it.”

 

 

 

“I do, but….” Cassandra sighed. “I wish my excitement and nerves weren’t mixing together. It’s making me feel strange.”

 

 

 

“It’s perfectly normal. I felt like that the first time I entered Society. But you get used to it.” Sarah shrugged. “In my case, I was just unlucky. I faded into the background. You have no chance of that happening to you.”

 

 

 

Cassandra wasn’t so sure about that. But it was unfair for Sarah to think she was less than her. However, it was the mentality her friend had been given by her parents, not to mention everyone around her.

 

 

 

Her lower status and being perceived as plain had her being unattractive for a good match. Cassandra knew the only reason her father agreed to let Sarah be his daughter’s companion was that he believed there was no competition and Cassandra wouldn’t be overshadowed.

 

 

 

Cassandra didn’t see it that way. Both she and Sarah were the same height, both slim. Sarah was dark-haired to Cassandra’s blonde hair, and it was a more reasonable length that she could curl, but that didn’t make her any less attractive. If anything, Cassandra thought her friend was the prettier one, especially when she smiled and had that twinkle in her eye.

 

 

 

It wasn’t nice to see her friend being treated as a second-class citizen, but Sarah kept her head held high and focused her attention on Cassandra. She didn’t let it bother her.

 

 

 

Cassandra wished she was able to let things wash off her like that.

 

 

 

They headed downstairs. Her parents were in the foyer, already in their outdoor garments, ready to go. Lady Mandrake gasped as her daughter came down the stairs.

 

 

 

“Oh, Cassandra! You look lovely. Mrs Dennis did wonders for you.”

 

 

 

“Thank you, Mother.”

 

 

 

Cassandra glanced at her father and held her breath. Lord Mandrake looked her up and down, nodding curtly.

 

 

 

“You tidy up really well.” He said briskly with an approving smile. “I can see you catching the eye of many gentlemen.”

 

 

 

“But this is only my first time entering Society, Father. Shouldn’t I just get to know people?”

 

 

 

“You still need to think about a match, Cassandra.”

 

 

 

Lady Mandrake was also nodding. Cassandra sighed.

 

 

 

“Father, it’s too much pressure. I just want to meet a wider circle of people. Get to know them first. Then I’ll look for a husband once I’m comfortable with my company.” She clasped her hands together. “Please, Father? I don’t want to have too much on my shoulders.”

 

 

 

Mandrake pursed his lips. He didn’t look too happy about doing that. But then he nodded.

 

 

 

“We’ll see.”

 

 

 

Cassandra’s heart sank. That meant he wouldn’t listen to her at all. He was just going to go around the room and look for someone willing to marry a girl who had been so sheltered she had no idea how to talk to anyone who wasn’t Sarah or her parents. The fact that she was a Duke’s daughter would make her a good match, but Cassandra didn’t think so.

 

 

 

This was not going to go well if they had different ideas about how the evening would turn out.

 

 

 

The carriage ride was quiet, both of her parents sitting across from Cassandra and Sarah, not looking at either of the women or each other. Instead, they just looked out of their respective windows, sat straight with their hands resting on their thighs. Despite the fact they were sitting next to each other, they might as well have been sitting with several feet between them.

 

 

 

Matches were more common than love when it came to marriage, but the more Cassandra looked at her parents, the more determined she became that she didn’t want to turn out like this. Neither of her parents looked happy. Just resigned to their situation. Had they always been like this? She didn’t know. In her mind, they had always been stiff and strict, with very little love between them.

 

 

 

Cassandra hoped that her future husband, if she ever found one, wouldn’t treat her like her father treated her mother. She wanted to have a man who respected and loved her, who wanted to be in the same room as her because of genuine want and not because of necessity.

 

 

 

Someone who wasn’t afraid to kiss her in front of people when they weren’t in mixed company. Someone who didn’t mind that she spoke what she really thought and didn’t chastise her for talking out of turn.

 

 

 

If there had to be a match, Cassandra couldn’t really argue. But she hoped that the man in question treated her better than what she was seeing before her. The Duke and Duchess of Mandrake might have been married for twenty years, but they just looked like they would rather be anywhere else.

 

 

 

Maybe it just worked. Maybe they had come to an agreement. On the other hand, they were certainly together on opinions when it came to their daughter, so perhaps they had a way of getting through their married lives.

 

 

 

If it worked, it worked. Although Cassandra couldn’t see how. She just hoped she didn’t end up like that.

 

 

 

They arrived at the house where the ball was being hosted. It was on the edge of Lake Windermere, the drive itself having a splendid view of the huge expanse of water. The setting sun had the water glistening like there were jewels beneath the surface. That was one advantage of living out in the Lake District; the landscape was just stunning. Cassandra could never get bored with her surroundings.

 

 

 

They alighted from the carriage and headed into the house. Mandrake greeted the host and hostess. As he shook hands with the host and bowed to the hostess, Cassandra, her mother, and Sarah took off their cloaks, and they were taken away.

 

 

 

Then Cassandra was aware of the loud babble of voices coming from another room. Even with the door shut, it was loud. From the outside, she had seen a lot of people through the windows into a large room. Her mother had said this was a small gathering, but it looked like the entire village had come along.

 

 

 

Her chest was beginning to tighten, and she was struggling to breathe. Cassandra swayed, the room tilting a little. Sarah stepped in close and took her arm to steady her.

 

 

 

“Are you all right, Cassie?” She whispered. “What is it?”

 

 

 

“I...I’m not sure if I can go in right now. Too many people are in there.”

 

 

 

“How do you know? We haven’t gone in there yet.”

 

 

 

“I just know.” It was getting harder to breathe. The corset wasn’t helping, either. Cassandra clutched onto Sarah’s arm. “I need to get some air. Help me outside.”

 

 

 

“Of course.”

 

 

 

Sarah led Cassandra back out the front door and walked her around the side of the house into the gardens. Cassandra had considered telling her parents where she had gone, but Lady Mandrake had been engrossed in a conversation with the hostess while the Duke was still talking to the host. Neither of them would want to be interrupted, although they wouldn’t be happy that Cassandra wandered off on her own.

 

 

 

At this point, she didn’t really care.

 

 

 

There was a stone bench by a hedge that lined a path to a huge set of double doors. Sarah led Cassandra to the bench and sat her down. Then she sat beside her.

 

 

 

“Better?” She asked.

 

 

 

“A little bit.” Cassandra pressed a hand to her chest and drew in slow, deep breaths. The cool air felt nice, and she was feeling less lightheaded. “I didn’t think I would react like that before I even walked into the room.”

 

 

 

“It’s perfectly normal. You don’t need to be ashamed.” Sarah squeezed her hand. “We won’t be disturbed here, so we can take a moment and then we’ll go back inside. At least we can hide from your parents for a while.”

 

 

 

That was good. Cassandra didn’t want to be caught away from everyone and have her parents berate her for running away. She just needed to have a moment to gather her thoughts before she went inside. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

 

 

 

Then she heard a door opening and voices and laughter spilling out into the garden. A moment later, the door closed, and Cassandra heard a female voice take a sigh of relief.

 

 

 

“Well! It’s just charming tonight, but I think they invited too many people. It’s getting stuffy in there.”

 

 

 

“It’s certainly lovely to see everyone come together, especially on a beautiful evening.” A second female voice reached their ears. “Do you think they’ll allow us to move the party into the garden?”

 

 

 

“I’m sure they won’t mind. By the way, did you see that the Duke and Duchess of Mandrake have arrived? I thought I recognized them, but I couldn’t be sure.”

 

 

 

Cassandra straightened up. They were discussing her parents? She debated whether or not she should make herself known - neither woman could see her or Sarah with the hedge in the way - but then the next comment had her stopping herself from appearing before them.

 

 

 

“That was definitely them. I would recognize them anywhere. And they came with their daughter as well?”

 

 

 

“Which one? The plain dark-haired one or the blonde one?”

 

 

 

“The blonde girl. She looks like her mother, without a doubt.” The second woman declared. “I wasn’t expecting to see her here.”

 

 

 

“Neither was I!” The first lady sighed. “She looked like a frightened rabbit, poor thing.”

 

 

 

“I’m not surprised. She was meant to enter Society last year. From what I remember, Lady Cassandra is almost nineteen. She should have come out a year ago, and yet her parents refused to let her enter at all. There has to be something wrong with her to have a late coming out.”

 

 

 

Cassandra froze. They thought she had something wrong with her? The first lady laughed.

 

 

 

“Oh, you think too much, Margaret! I’m sure it’s nothing to do with the girl. Her parents are rather strict. You know things have to be on their terms.”

 

 

 

“I suppose,” Margaret grunted. There was a rustling of skirts. “I don’t know why anyone invites them to anything. I can’t stand either of them. They’re not very nice people, and from the brief look, I got before their daughter ran off, they’ve browbeaten the poor child. No doubt they’ve got something planned for her.”

 

 

 

“Like finding her a husband.” The first woman added. She tittered. “I must say, I can’t see a simple child like her getting a good marriage without them getting involved. They will probably have to hold her hand the whole time.”

 

 

 

“I would be humiliated if I had to hold my daughter’s hand throughout her adulthood. It can’t be easy, but with parents like them, it’s hardly surprising.”

 

 

 

#

 

 

 

Cassandra felt like her stomach had dropped. The air was feeling much colder than it had been a few minutes ago. They thought she had something wrong with her. Her parents’ refusal to let her come out the year before had given people an opinion of her before she had even entered the room.

 

 

 

How was she going to face people when they thought of her in such a manner?

 

 

 

“Anyway,” the second woman went on with a bright tone, “I think we’re going to get a lot of interesting drama tonight with the young ladies present. Did you see who arrived a short while ago?”

 

 

 

“Who?”

 

 

 

“The Duke of Sandringham. The Scotsman who’s been staying with the army officer in the village.”

 

 

 

“Oh.” The first woman paused. “Isn’t he the one who brought his family back to a respectable position after his father gambled away their fortune? I seem to remember hearing about it from my neighbours a few days ago. Is that the same man?”

 

 

 

“That’s the one. He arrived with Lieutenant Smith, and they’ve been hovering in a corner ever since. I don’t think they’ve interacted with anyone unless they were actually approached. The young ladies have attempted to talk to him, but the Duke seems rather shy.”

 

 

 

“Shy?” There was some laughter. “He didn’t strike me as the type to be shy.”

 

 

 

“I suppose men are just nervous about being around so many people when they’ve been out of it for so long. He’ll certainly have a lot of ladies vying for his attention.”

 

 

 

“I know what you mean.” Cassandra heard a wistful sigh. “If I was twenty years younger, I would be doing the same.”

 

 

 

“I would be right there with you. Come on, Amy, let’s go back inside. It’s starting to get a little chilly. The wind from the lake seems to be coming up rather rapidly this evening.”

 

 

 

The voices faded away, and then there was a door closing, followed by deafening silence. Cassandra felt her stomach rolling. She was going to end up being sick in a moment. She was sure of it. These people had never met her, and they had already made a judgement on her. They believed she was some sort of simple fool who had to be kept close to her parents. A stupid child.

 

 

 

How was she meant to go inside and get to know people when they had made up their minds on what she was like? Cassandra hadn’t thought she could make an impression when she wasn’t even there, but she had. And it was horrible.

 

 

 

“Cassandra?” Sarah gently shook her shoulder. “Cassandra.”

 

 

 

She had almost forgotten that her friend was with her. Cassandra pressed a hand to her churning stomach. Her excitement about coming out for the first time had melted away, and now all she wanted to do was leave.

 

 

 

“They think I’m simple.” She whispered. “They think that something’s wrong with me.”

 

 

 

“Oh, Cassie.” Sarah squeezed her hand. “It’s not like that. They’re just looking for something to gossip about. Just ignore them.”

 

 

 

“How can I, Sarah? They were specifically talking about me, and it wasn’t very nice.” Cassandra closed her eyes and shuddered. “God, I want to go home.”

 

 

 

The thought of staying back on the estate was becoming very tempting. Cassandra didn’t think that would happen. Whatever confidence she had was now gone. How could she brush off the assumption that she had something wrong with her because she had been kept away for what was meant to be her first Season?

 

 

 

Sarah rose to her feet, trying to tug Cassandra up.

 

 

 

“Come on, Cassie, you’re stronger than this. Your father said he wanted you out in Society, and this is your opportunity. You’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

 

 

 

“Now I don’t want to do it.”

 

 

 

Sarah paused. Then she dropped down to kneel in front of her, taking Cassandra’s face in her hands.

 

 

 

“Look at me, Cassie. Take deep breaths. Nice and easy. In, and out….”

 

 

 

Cassandra followed her instructions. It took a moment before the tightening around her chest eased, and she was able to breathe a little better. She hadn’t realized how close she had been getting to becoming hysterical. Blinking back the tears, Cassandra concentrated on her breathing. Sarah gave her a gentle smile.

 

 

 

“You’re a strong woman, Cassandra Felton. You’re confident, adventurous, and brave. You will be able to go in there and hold your head high. You will be able to enjoy yourself, and I know you’ll be leaving with a smile on your face. This is what you’ve wanted to do for a year now, so make the most of it.” She rose to her feet. “You’re going to show those gossiping old ladies that you’re perfectly fine, and you’re not the simpleton they believe. Bring forth that confidence I see every day and use it. You can get through this.”

 

 

 

There were times like this that made Cassandra glad Sarah was her friend. She was level-headed, and she was able to calm Cassandra down from anything, be it an angry outburst or a panic attack. It felt good to know that she had a person close by who had her best interests at heart and gave her the nudge to feel good about herself.

 

 

 

Cassandra had no idea how she had managed before Sarah came along, but she was relieved that she was here now.

 

 

 

They had to go back in. Her parents would be looking for her now. Taking a deep breath, Cassandra stood up and squeezed Sarah’s hand.

 

 

 

“All right. Let’s go back in.”

 

 

 

Sarah got to her feet and grinned, dusting down her skirts.

 

 

 

“Good. I know you could do it. We don’t have to be here long. How about we give it two hours and see how it goes? If you’re enjoying yourself, we’ll stay longer. But if you want to go home, I’ll make our excuses, and we can go home. Fair enough?”

 

 

 

Cassandra nodded. That sounded like a plan. Even though she felt more prepared about going inside, it didn’t stop her heart from racing as they headed up to the outside doors, seeing everyone inside through the large windows. Were they going to get in without anyone noticing? Or was everyone going to turn around and openly stare at them? Cassandra hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

 

 

 

Sarah opened the door and let Cassandra go in first. The music from the orchestra to the right of them hit her first, and then the babble of voices from the crowd. It wasn’t as crowded as she expected. The majority of the guests dotted around the edge of the room.

 

 

 

In the centre, people were dancing around, moving with their partners as if they had been doing this since they could walk. That did worry her a little; Cassandra could dance, but her only dance partner had been Mrs McMahon. She had only done the basic dances, and she had never danced the waltz. Her former governess had said it was not an appropriate dance.

 

 

 

There was a lot she needed to learn if she wanted to have a dance partner.

 

 

 

A few people close by did turn around and look at them, and Cassandra caught one lady whispering to another, but then they turned away again and got involved in their own conversation. A couple of gentlemen looked over and gave her a nod of greeting, a nod which Cassandra returned. But people were getting on with their own thing.

 

 

 

Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as she thought. As long as Cassandra chose her words carefully and had Sarah with her, she would be able to get through this.

 

 

 

Her excitement picked up again. Good, she wanted to feel better about herself tonight. This was her chance to meet other people and show that she was perfectly capable of conducting herself in polite society.

 

 

 

Then her gaze was caught by a tall, broad-shouldered man across the room, on the other side of the orchestra. He was dressed in a fine dark blue suit, his dark hair cut short. His skin was a beautiful golden brown, which said that he had spent a lot of time in the sun.

 

 

 

He was talking to a tall, lanky young man in an army uniform, the marks on his shoulders and sleeves indicating that he was an officer. Neither of them seemed to be paying attention to their surroundings.

 

 

 

Cassandra felt her heart flutter. Who was that man? He looked like a high-ranking noble, although his body language indicated he would rather be anywhere else. And the look on his face had Cassandra pausing. He looked...sad. Haunted, she might have gone with.

 

 

 

What did he have to be sad about? She had a sudden urge to go over to him and ask what was wrong, but that was far too forward. Instead, clearing her throat, Cassandra nudged her friend.

 

 

 

“Sarah, do you know who that is over there?”

 

 

 

“Where?”

 

 

 

“The man standing with the army officer.” Cassandra nodded in the gentleman’s direction. “Any idea who he is?”

 

 

 

Sarah looked. And her eyes widened.

 

 

 

“Oh. That’s the Duke of Sandringham.”

 

 

 

“The man those two ladies were talking about a short while ago?”

 

 

 

“Yes, that’s him. I’ve heard about him.” Sarah leaned towards her and lowered her voice to a conspiratory whisper. “He’s eligible, so lots of people have been talking about him. I heard about it when I went to the village on my day off.”

 

 

 

“I see.” Cassandra tried not to stare, but it was difficult. The Duke of Sandringham drew the eye, and it was hard to pull away. “I can see why women are falling over themselves to get his attention.”

 

 

 

“Oh.” Sarah raised her eyebrows. “You like the look of him, then?”

 

 

 

Did she? Cassandra hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t planned on finding a man attractive as soon as she walked into the room. And from the way the Duke was standing, barely glancing around the room, he didn’t look very approachable. But there was something about him that drew Cassandra towards him. Something was gnawing away at him. That much was clear.

 

 

 

If only there was a way she could find out. Or even just talk to him. Cassandra wanted to do that. But, unfortunately, she needed her father to introduce them, and she didn’t want to tell her father that she wanted to speak to a gentleman with the haunted expression.

 

 

 

Why not? He’s a Duke, and your father was looking for someone worthy enough to marry you. This would be perfect.

 

 

 

Why do I get the feeling Father would disapprove?

 

 

 

Cassandra jumped when she heard her name. Turning, she saw her father coming around the edge of the dancefloor, Lady Mandrake just behind him. He didn’t look too happy as he detached Cassandra from Sarah and pulled her away.

 

 

 

“Where on earth did you go?” He hissed. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

 

 

 

“I was outside, Father. I couldn’t breathe.”

 

 

 

Mandrake huffed.

 

 

 

“You’re going to embarrass us if you keep running off like that. Remember your manners, Cassandra!”

 

 

 

“I haven’t forgotten them, Father.” Cassandra eased her arm away and faced Mandrake. “And I won’t forget now.”

 

 

 

Mandrake nodded curtly.

 

 

 

“Good. Now, come along with me. I want you to meet a few friends of mine.”

 

 

 

Cassandra nodded, but she found herself glancing over at the Duke of Sandringham as they walked away. She would rather be introduced to him, but she didn’t think that was going to happen. Not with the way her father was leading her to the other end of the room towards a group of men that made Cassandra want to run away again.

 

 

 

But she fixed a smile on her face and fell into step beside her father. If she was being given this opportunity to finally enter Society, she would make the most of it.

 

 

 

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