Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan
Chapter 3
1818
Caroline cast her eye over the dresses laid out in the shop. They were all very lovely, exquisitely made. She could never take her eyes off them whenever she walked by. Her mother said she was like a magpie attracted to shiny objects whenever she was near a dress shop. Caroline just loved clothes. She liked to think she was up to date with the latest fashions, although it did drive her father to despair with the amount of money he ended up spending on her every few months.
He didn’t complain too much, so that was something. And he wouldn’t mind if she got a new dress for the first ball of the Season, surely?
A dress caught her eye at the end of the rack, and Caroline found herself drifting towards it. It was a dark green, darker than she thought possible. She reached out and brushed her fingers over the fabric. It was silky smooth. Caroline did like silk.
“Oh, that’s such a charming dress!”
Caroline looked up as a dark-haired woman her age came to join her, her eyes on the dress.
“Do you think this will be good for the ball tonight, Sarah?”
“I think it would be perfect,” Sarah Marcus, Lady Lakeford, declared. “you’re doing what I do when I’m not sure on selecting a dress.”
“What’s that?”
“When in doubt, go for the colour that matches your eyes.” Sarah nodded approvingly. “And this would be perfect for you.”
“Really?” Caroline peered closer at the dress. “I didn’t think my eyes were that green, though.”
Sarah laughed.
“You really need to take a closer look.” She squeezed her friend’s hand. “You have the most stunning eyes in all of Society.”
Caroline couldn’t help smiling at Sarah’s enthusiasm. Ever since meeting at their first ball the previous year, the two of them had been practically inseparable. Caroline was glad for Sarah’s warm, down-to-earth attitude, and Sarah also matched her love for the classics. They could sit for hours talking about the same topic and never get bored.
It drove both of their mothers to despair as they were supposed to be finding husbands, not sitting in corners talking about Greek tragedies. When they were doing something as daunting as heading into Society, Caroline felt having a friend at her side was preferable to being alone.
“You are such a flatterer, Sarah,” she said as she signalled for a shop assistant to join them. “I’d like to buy this dress. You should have my measurements.”
“Yes, Lady Caroline.” The assistant picked up the dress. “I’ll take it back for Mrs Maiseley to start working on it.”
“Thank you.”
The assistant walked away, and Sarah turned to Caroline.
“Well, someone needs to tell you when you have good qualities. From the way you’ve been lately, you need a bit of a boost with your confidence.”
“I suppose.”
Sarah did have a point. It was going to be their second Season. Caroline had just turned nineteen, and there was no sign of a potential husband. Neither of them had taken their first Season too seriously, choosing to spend time with people. Caroline knew she had done a lot of flirting and might have embarrassed herself a little by her carefree nature, but she had wanted to enjoy her first Season.
Get to know what Society was really like, and then think about finding her husband. Lady Bingham didn’t like the fact her daughter had decided it this way, but Caroline had argued she needed to know who would be right for her. She didn’t want to go into a marriage when she barely knew her husband and find them incompatible. If she was going to marry, she needed to know that she would be able to spend the rest of her life with someone she could stand.
There was also another reason why Caroline was reluctant to find a husband. She had seen it in the gentlemen’s eyes whenever she was interacting with them. They kept staring at her forehead, at the scar that was very prominent. When she had been younger, Caroline had been able to hide it if she put her hair in a certain way, but keeping up with the latest fashions meant her hair had to be done in a particular style.
And that meant her scar, which was thick and white, was on display. A couple of younger gentlemen had commented on it and said that it made her unattractive, which had caused Caroline to be short with them. She had the misfortune to be scarred in such a manner, but it was not her fault.
Sarah had the problem that gentlemen didn’t care for her looks. By her own admission, she was plainer than Caroline, so she wasn’t considered aesthetically pleasing by modern standards. Which was not very kind, but Sarah took it in her stride.
She said if they couldn’t accept her for who she was, those people weren’t worth her time. Caroline liked that mentality, although it did mean her mother was pushing her more and more to get married. Her father didn’t mind as long as Caroline was happy, but Lady Bingham was getting more pushy about it.
It was their second Season, and it felt like there was a lot more pressure on her to settle down. Mostly from her mother.
“I don’t know why people want us to marry so young when we’re barely into womanhood,” Sarah said with a shake of her head. “My mother didn’t marry until she was six-and-twenty, and she’s now a mother of five. It’s entirely possible to get to an age that is considered too old and still have children. We don’t wither and die past twenty.”
Caroline smiled.
“I’m sure your grandparents weren’t happy with the fact that your mother married later than everyone else.”
“They still grumble about it now.” Sarah shrugged. “I told them that it wasn’t a problem if we’re not married to the first man who looks at us, but they saw it as our fault. Grandmother, especially. She’s told me not to visit until I have a husband and can conduct myself properly.”
“Which means you’re probably not going to visit them at all.”
“Of course not! I’m not subjecting my husband to them.”
Caroline laughed. She had met Sarah’s grandparents when they came up for Christmas, and they had not been pleasant at all. They were shocked that they were almost nineteen years of age and not married. The grandmother had commented that she had expected Sarah to be married at seventeen when they had arranged a match for her, but even Sarah’s parents had pushed back on it. They weren’t too strict on Sarah’s unmarried status, saying they would only step in if she wasn’t married by her third Season. Caroline’s father had said the same.
Which meant quite a bit of pressure on them before they were ready, which was irritating. But they couldn’t carry on as they were forever. Something had to change.
“I’m glad they live in Cornwall,” Sarah said as they headed towards the counter and joined the queue of ladies waiting for their own dresses, “because that means I don’t have to see them often. They’re getting on, so I only see them once a year.”
“And you shouldn’t have to deal with them at Christmas.”
“It’s not so bad. I can escape when I want. They don’t like the snow.”
“I suppose.” Caroline absently rubbed the scar on her hand. Why did it always itch? “Father just wants me to be happy, although he will step in soon. But Mother thinks I need to get married immediately. I’ve had my first Season, and I should have had an offer by now.”
Well, you were feeling things out, getting used to it,” Sarah pointed out. “And you were very popular. Gentlemen flocked around you.”
“I didn’t get an offer of marriage.”
And Caroline didn’t see that happening when all they could do was stare at her scar. It was more of a hindrance than she realised. Lord Bingham said it wasn’t too much of a bother, and you could barely see it, but then Lady Bingham had to interject and say that she could. Which only resulted in Caroline being told that she should have been more careful as a child.
Caroline hated that reminder of what happened. It just made her hate for a certain person even worse.
She sorted out her dress and the measurements with Mrs Maiseley, putting it on her account. Then she and Sarah stepped out into the spring sunshine. Not as warm as it was supposed to be for the middle of April, but it was manageable. Sarah slipped her arm through Caroline’s as they started walking.
“Don’t fret so much, Caroline. It’s going to be fine. Just carry on as normal. You’ll have a lot of enjoyment this time, and you might even be lucky enough to find a man you can fall in love with.”
“I’m not sure about that.” Caroline sighed. “I heard from Mother that the Beaufort brothers are both home on leave. They’re probably going to be there tonight.”
Which meant she was going to be in the same room as the boy who had given her the scars and shot at her. Caroline wasn’t looking forward to it at all. She didn’t think she could keep her composure with Henry Beaufort around. Years might have passed, and he had been in the navy for the last four years, but that didn’t mean he would have grown up and become a decent person.
Anyone who started being horrible that young never grew out of it.
“You’re thinking about what happened to you again, aren’t you?” Sarah asked.
“Why wouldn’t I? He brings back so many bad memories.”
Sarah knew about Henry. Caroline had told her everything, but this seemed to be a topic where they differed in opinion. While Sarah was sympathetic to her experiences, she seemed to be sympathetic towards Henry as well. Caroline was confused by that. He had hurt her and tried to kill her, and Sarah wasn’t apoplectic towards him. That she couldn’t understand.
“Henry could have grown up, Caroline,” Sarah pointed out. “You do when you’re in the navy and at war.”
But Caroline shook her head.
“I don’t think he has. You do know he did try to kill me.”
“You don’t know it was him who shot at you. And you don’t know it was him who cut your head open.”
“I know it was him.” Caroline started rubbing her head again. The scar was really beginning to itch now, and her gloves weren’t helping. “He’s the troublemaker.”
“Because everyone said so, and nobody chose to question it.”
“You’re saying I imagined it all?”
“Of course not.” Sarah sighed. “Look, it was nine years ago, and you haven’t seen each other in four. There’s a good chance that things have changed. If you’re not comfortable around him, then keep your distance. That’s all you need to do.”
Caroline snorted.
“He’d better keep away from me. Because I won’t be nice.”
Two interactions with the person who had disfigured her for life was enough for Caroline to decide that she didn’t want to be anywhere where Henry Beaufort was. If he had changed, she wasn’t going to hang around to find out.
#
“Your jacket, Lord Bannock.”
Henry looked around to see his valet standing by the bed, holding up his blue coat. He sighed and tugged at his cravat again.
“Do I really need to wear this thing, Christian? I feel like my air supply is being cut off. Reminds me of when I got caught in the rigging.”
“I’m afraid you do need to wear it, Lord Bannock. Your father will not be impressed if you go underdressed.”
“Underdressed? I feel like I’m overdressed. I mean, look at this.” He gestured at himself. “I feel like I’ve been sewn into this. It’s keeping me practically immobile. Why is it necessary to wear all this?”
Christian sighed. The servant looked bored.
“Lord Cornwall said you were to attend, and you have to dress accordingly. You may have done things very differently at sea, but you’re not on a ship right now.”
“Did he also tell you to scold me as well? You’re meant to know your place.”
“I think that’s something you could follow as well.”
Henry stared. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Servants did not talk back, not like this. But ever since he returned on leave – his first in years – the entire household had been rather hostile towards him. It was like they were expecting him to start acting out and causing trouble again.
It will happen. Now James knows that his scapegoat has come back.
He fixed Christian with a hard stare.
“I understand you’re not comfortable with me being here, Christian, and, if I’m honest, I don’t want to be here. But I have my orders to rest properly, so that’s what I’m doing. If you have a problem with being near me, and you’re going to speak to me in such a manner, I think I’ll forgo a valet.”
“Your father …”
“My father, nothing!” Henry held up a hand. “I will not be talked to like that. I managed four years getting myself dressed. I think I can manage a couple of months without a valet.”
For a moment, he thought Christian was going to argue and refuse to leave, but the older man put the coat down and bowed before walking out. Henry heaved a sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. He was going to have a word with his parents about how Christian had spoken to him. No matter what they believed he had done, he didn’t deserve to be treated like a second-class citizen.
Then again, he doubted that his parents would do anything to change the situation. They hadn’t expressed it, but he knew they were disappointed that he hadn’t kept in contact over the last four years. He hadn’t come home in all that time, and while he had taken the occasional day’s leave when the ship was in dock, Henry had never taken extended leave.
He never felt the need to, especially when he knew that the moment he got home, James was going to cause trouble and make him the bad one again. It didn’t matter if James was in London or fighting the French, he would figure out a way to make Henry look like he hadn’t changed at all.
His mother had been close to tears when Henry finally turned up for his two months’ leave. She thought he had died at sea and nobody had told her. Then there were a lot of questions about why Henry had never returned, to which Henry had reminded her that he had been sent away as punishment over something he never did.
Why would he want to return when people already had such a low opinion of him? The only reason he was there at all was because he had been pretty much escorted off the ship and told to properly rest. His mother had been upset that he would take what they did to heart.
How could he not? Henry loved his parents, but he really did resent them. They never listened to him. James always got what he wanted. Because they believed he was the troublemaker, Henry was often an afterthought. He was the heir to the dukedom! How did that work?
Although he wasn’t expecting that to last for much longer. Henry had overheard his father and uncle talking the day before. They were discussing disinheriting Henry and giving the dukedom to James. Something about James being a bold, brave hero who had always lived up to expectations. Nothing was said about the medals Henry had won for fighting at sea and risking his own life. It was like they paled in comparison to his younger brother’s soldier heroics.
If he were honest, Henry would be relieved if he was disinherited. He didn’t want a dukedom. Being at sea was preferable for him. He had worked his way up through the ranks, and the other sailors respected him. He had never got into trouble on a ship, mostly because he didn’t want to swab the dirtiest parts of the ship or clean up after the surgeon during the battle. He never put a foot wrong and showed the person he really was, and he was accepted.
Yet he was on the cusp of being disinherited because his family still believed he would cause trouble and bring their family into further disrepute. If only they had listened to him before.
Now Henry would have to attend this ball with people knowing the rumours and believing them, along with his brother. James would have all the ladies fawning over him. His status as a soldier and the son of a duke made him well sought after. As long as Henry kept his distance, they could manage the evening without any mishaps.
Hopefully.
Shrugging into his coat, Henry checked himself in the mirror. Not too bad, if he did say so himself. He had filled out while at sea, his shoulders broader and his frame a bit more filled out. Hauling up rigging tended to change a man’s body. He didn’t look like he had turned twenty a few months ago.
Hopefully, he could restore some sort of reputation and get people to change their opinions of him. Then again, Henry had been back at his family home for the last three days, and the servants hadn’t warmed to him again.
Maybe it was a tall ask.
Just seven weeks and four days to go.
Putting on his dancing pumps, Henry left his bedchamber and headed towards the stairs. The door across the room from his opened, and James stepped out. He certainly looked striking in his red coat, his beard now neatly trimmed and his hair cut to a more appropriate length than it had been that morning. He grinned at Henry.
“You scrub up pretty well, Henry. Looks like the navy boys really do know how to look smart.”
Henry bit back the retort he really wanted to give and fixed a bland smile on his face.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, James. Although you could be better without that beard.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it.” James rubbed his hand over his jaw. He looked like he was preening. “The ladies certainly like it.”
“Not all the ladies do. I know Mother doesn’t.”
“I’m a grown man, Henry. I can do what I want.”
“Within reason.”
James smirked. He adjusted his coat.
“Well, if there is an inheritance at the end of the day, I need to keep in line. Growing a beard is not going to disinherit me. Not like some people,” he added, giving Henry a pointed look.
Henry gritted his teeth.
“James, don’t.”
“What?”
“Just don’t. We’ve been through this. You’re a grown man now, and you’re not going to get into any more trouble. How you managed to get through life in the army without getting severely punished, I have no idea. But I’m not going to bail you out this time.”
“Hey, I’m not that bad anymore!”
“I hope not,” Henry muttered. He set off down the hall. “Aren’t we supposed to be leaving? We’re going to be late.”
“We’ll be there in plenty of time.” James fell into step beside him. “Do you think you’ll be meeting your future wife tonight?”
“Why are you even asking that?”
“I’m just curious.” James sniggered. “I’m sure you haven’t been with a woman since you’ve been at sea.”
“Don’t be crude, James.”
“Even sailors can get lonely.”
Henry growled and shot his brother a scowl.
“It’s none of your business what I did and didn’t get up to. It’s not like you would be any different. I doubt you were a saint while you were in France.”
“I was the epitome of sainthood.”
“You’re such a liar, James.”
“And I’m good at it.” James stroked his chin. “At least people can tell us apart with this beard. Although it was fun when people mixed us up so much as children.”
“I didn’t find it amusing.” Henry reached the top of the stairs. “You got away with far too much.”
“Well, you didn’t do the brotherly thing and keep me out of trouble.”
Henry stared at him.
“I did. The first time. But by the time I realised I shouldn’t be doing that, it was too late, and nobody believed me. It was to my own detriment.”
“And now you’re close to being disinherited.” James sighed. “Even your medals at sea haven’t helped.”
Henry didn’t want to talk about that. He had served at the Bombardment of Algiers and the Battle of Mahidpur, gaining high recognition in both, and yet his parents didn’t comment on them. They knew he had received medals – something like that couldn’t be kept quiet in Society – and yet they never talked about them. Henry had no idea if his parents were proud of him.
He turned away and headed down the stairs. The sooner he left, the better. Just seven weeks and four days.
And that felt like too long.