Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan
Chapter 8
“That’s just beautiful, Henry,” Sarah said as Henry took his fingers off the keys. “I didn’t know you could play like that.”
“You can’t exactly have a grand piano on a ship. It would more than likely be chopped up for firewood or blown to pieces during a battle.” Henry flexed his hands. He hadn’t played the piano in a while, and his fingers were sore already. “Mother wanted one of us to play. James couldn’t get his hands to work together, so it landed on me to do something about it. I think she believes that’s my only redeeming feature.”
“If she thinks that, then she doesn’t see the real man.”
Henry sighed.
“When I’m here, neither does anyone else.”
He was really regretting staying here. After James declared that they should make it a competition to see which of them Caroline would fall in love with first, Henry should have packed his things and gone to live elsewhere. He could rent a room in the city or shack up with one of his fellow sailors close to the docks. Anything to get away from his brother and his ridiculous plan. But he found that he couldn’t. Caroline didn’t deserve to be treated like a toy, and Henry couldn’t bring himself to leave and had James prey on Caroline Folton.
The problem was, he would have to deal with everyone treating him like he had a short temper, and they were scared of talking to him too much in case it exploded. His mother’s guests were already giving him nervous looks and were refusing to maintain eye contact. It was something of a relief that Sarah had arrived and greeted him warmly, although the ladies were watching with bemusement now.
James had really ruined Henry’s reputation before he had a chance to build it up.
“I feel awful, Henry.”
“Why?”
Sarah sighed.
“I just wish there was something I could do to help.”
Henry gave her a smile and grasped her hand.
“You’re too sweet, Sarah. There isn’t really anything you can do. Once I’m back on the ship, I’ll be gone. If I’m forced to have leave in the future, I’ll just go elsewhere. I’ve saved up enough that I can afford my own place away from everyone.”
He was not going to deal with being the outcast and treated like a bad person every time he came back to his childhood home. It was even worse with James being present. Their parents kept saying they needed to have that bond, and James needed to keep an eye on Henry. Henry had given up protesting that he wasn’t the one at fault; nobody listened.
Nobody except Sarah.
“I think I’m going to go for a walk.” Henry got to his feet. “I don’t really want to go back and sit with those ladies shuffling their chairs away from me.”
“All right.” Sarah pushed off the piano. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’ll go on my own. I don’t want you getting into trouble for wandering off with me alone.”
“Don’t care.”
Henry gave a wry chuckle.
“You will if you’re forced to marry me.”
Sarah pouted.
“Am I that bad a prospect?”
Henry took her hand and kissed her fingers.
“I’m afraid you know it would make our friendship worse off. You deserve better.”
“I disagree, but I’ll concede.” Sarah shook her head with a frown. “There will be that one person who sees past the lies, Henry. You’ll find them eventually.”
Henry didn’t know how to answer that. He dropped Sarah’s hand and headed into the garden, crossing the grass towards the trees. His mother would tell him that it was rude to ignore the guests and wander off on his own, but they were her guests, not his. And he was a grown man; she shouldn’t be telling him off like he was a little boy.
Four years away from his family, and they still treated him like he was the redheaded stepchild. Henry had done dangerous things at sea, and he had risked his life for his country, and his parents barely recognised the medals he had been awarded. The only time he had written to them was to let them know that he was getting rewards and he wanted to see them. They never responded.
Henry knew there would be favourite children, but to have it so blatantly obvious was painful. James knew they would ignore his transgressions and would love him no matter what he did.
He really needed to keep his distance from James for the next few weeks. He was sure his brother would put the blame on him again. There was a chance that he would end up in serious trouble, and Henry would be the one who was targeted for being at fault. And Henry was fed up with it.
The trees and bushes thinned out around the path, and Henry came upon the large, ornate pond his father had someone build nearly twenty years ago. It was rather secluded, but there was something serene about it. Henry had found this spot to be the best place to hide whenever he needed to have a moment or two to himself. As a child, he had sneaked out of the house to sit by the pond after arguing with his family about things he had never done. It was calming, and Henry had ended up here all night on some occasions.
Strange, a pond was the only way he could calm down. It was probably why he took to the navy so well; he was at home with water.
But as he reached the pond, Henry could see that he wasn’t alone. Caroline was there, sitting on one of the flat rocks, staring into the water. Henry slowed, his pulse missing a few beats. Sarah had said that she had brought Caroline along, but he hadn’t expected to run into her. She was determined to keep out of his way. Given what she believed, that was understandable.
And it still hurt. Henry didn’t want her to ignore him and treat him with contempt. He wanted to see her smile, hear her voice, and her laugh. Those were denied to him because of what she was led to believe.
It was hard to have strong feelings for a woman who wanted nothing to do with him.
Henry knew he should leave and let her have her peace. But this was meant to be his family home, his hideaway. He wasn’t going to walk away. Picking up a pebble, he turned it over in his fingers as he reached the water’s edge.
“Fed up with the party already?”
Caroline gasped. Henry glanced out the corner of his eyes and saw her eyes widening as she stared at him. Then they narrowed, and she scowled.
“You followed me out here, didn’t you?”
“I must disappoint you there. I didn’t know you were here.” Henry tossed the pebble into the water, watching it disappear under the surface. “I needed time alone, and this is where I come. It’s probably the only place where I can get any sort of peace.”
Caroline snorted.
“You need time alone? Really?”
“I don’t like gatherings like this. Never have. They put me on edge.”
“Is that why you’re always acting out and causing trouble? Because you’re bored?”
“Far from it.” Henry tapped the toe of his boot into the water and observed the ripples. “I’d rather be on a ship facing the French with fully loaded cannons than sit around in my best clothes talking about subjects that don’t interest me.”
Caroline snorted.
“You sound as reckless as you were as a child.”
“At least I don’t have people judging me before I’ve had a chance to show what I’m like.”
“You think I’m judging you too early?”
“You already have.” Henry turned to her. “You’re willing to believe the worst, and we only met twice before that ball.”
Caroline’s eyes flashed. She pointed at the scar on her head, very visible through her hairline.
“You gave me this,” she snapped. Then she held up her hand and showed the jagged scar on her palm. “And this. And you say I’ve judged you too early?”
Henry fought back the knot in his stomach. He hated seeing those and knowing he hadn’t been able to protect her properly. He took a deep breath, wishing that his anger wasn’t rising. Caroline didn’t deserve his anger.
“You don’t really know what happened that day. You just believe it because everyone immediately points the finger at me.”
“So I’m supposed to believe that James was the one who pushed me? Who shot at me? Why didn’t he own up to it if he was the one?”
“Why indeed?”
Caroline got to her feet and glared at him. Why did he have to think that she was pretty when she was angry?
“Don’t try and put it on your brother. He doesn’t deserve that.”
“And I deserve to be treated badly for not speaking up?” Henry shot back. “You have no idea how parents treat their children when you haven’t got any brothers or sisters.”
“I’m glad I’m an only child. Saves me having a brother like you.”
Henry folded his arms. He was between frustration, anger, and admiration. The admiration seemed to be winning out, and that didn’t make him happy.
“There are days when I wish I had a sister instead. Someone like you with a bit of fire and not afraid to speak her mind. That would make the days far more interesting.”
Caroline blinked. She seemed a little off-balance. Then she gathered herself and lifted her chin.
“You’re insane if you think I’d want to have a brother like you,” she said with a sneer.
“You would rather have James as a brother? He would have you looking over your shoulder, trust me.”
“Why are you so mean about your brother? You sound like you’re jealous.”
Henry snorted.
“I’ve got nothing to be jealous about.”
“Well, he is the favourite son and a hero.”
“So am I, but you don’t hear anyone talking about that because I’m the one everyone’s written off.” Henry narrowed his eyes. “Tell me, My Lady, did James tell you how many medals he’s won for being brave in battle? Does he talk about his soldier exploits?”
“He doesn’t have to. I know he’s a hero.”
“And I’m not because you don’t like me. Which means I can’t possibly be a hero.” Henry saw the waver in Caroline’s eyes. He had hit a little closer to the mark than he expected, and that made him feel wounded. “Why don’t you go and talk to Lady Lakeford about the time she witnessed me receive a medal for bravery after I saved her brother in the middle of a battle? Did she make that up, do you think?”
Caroline snorted.
“I don’t know what magic wand you waved over her, but it’s not going to work with me.”
“No, it won’t. Because you’re too rigid.” Caroline flinched, but Henry was too annoyed to stop. “What happened to being open-minded?”
“I am open-minded.”
“No, you’re not.” His favourite place was now being tainted by this woman. Henry turned away. “Thank you for making me realise that I’m not worthy of redeeming myself. And how narrow-minded you really are. James is welcome to you.”
“What did you say?”
“I’m sure you heard me, My Lady.” Henry walked around the pond. “I’m going for a walk. The company is getting worse than I thought.”
He didn’t wait for Caroline to reply, disappearing through the trees. It was hard to be in the presence of a woman he had admired for so long and know that she was never going to see him as anything but the boy who hurt her.
James was taking her away without even realising it. And Henry hated it.
#
Caroline couldn’t believe that Henry had followed her to corner her privately. She didn’t believe that his finding her was a coincidence. He had to have been following her.
But the way he spoke had surprised her. Henry hadn’t been on the attack and called her names until right at the end when he accused her of being narrow-minded. He had actually said she had some fire and, in his way, had said he liked that she had no problem speaking her mind. But to call her narrow-minded after that? It felt like he had hated complimenting her.
However, it wasn’t that which gave Caroline pause. It was the bitterness, the pain in his face. Henry thought he wasn’t showing anything, but Caroline could see it. He hated that no one was giving him a chance. What did he expect after everything that happened in the past?
It was only twice. How do you know these weren’t isolated incidents? What happened with making up your own mind about people?
I don’t need to rethink Henry Beaufort. He’s a bad man.
Even so, the way he turned to stone when Caroline pushed him and then stormed off said there was more going on than that. Caroline didn’t know what to think, but she wasn’t about to feel any sympathy for this man. He didn’t deserve that from her.
Not after what he had done.
If Henry was going to be out here, Caroline wasn’t. She made her way through the trees and headed back into the main garden. The guests were congregating around the terrace, using parasols to keep the sun off their faces. But Caroline didn’t want to go anywhere near them. If they saw Henry leaving the group, they had to know that Caroline had encountered him. She wasn’t about to deal with people making suggestive comments. Even if they didn’t, she was going to be on edge waiting for the questions.
She needed to go.
Sarah was standing by the tea-table talking to one of the maids clearing up the dirty plates. She saw Caroline and put her plate aside.
“I was wondering where you’d gone. Are you all right?”
“I want to leave.” Caroline didn’t stop as she went towards the house. “Now.”
“What?” Sarah hurried after her. “You’re going now? We agreed on an hour and a half, remember?”
“You think I can manage an hour and a half after encountering Lord Bannock already? I’m leaving.”
Caroline knew she was being rude, but she didn’t care. Being around Henry was leaving her off-balance. Her heart was still racing from being in his presence, and it felt like her corset had been tightened more than it should have. Why was she reacting in such a way about the man? She didn’t know what was going on, but she didn’t like it.
She would rather feel nothing for this man. It would make things a lot easier.
She should have left as soon as she realised what was going on.
“Caroline!” Sarah caught up with her as they entered the foyer, grabbing her arm to make her stop. “What happened? What did you and Henry say to each other?”
“Are you trying to suggest that I said something out of turn?”
“Considering your animosity right now, yes.”
Caroline growled and yanked her arm away.
“He’s a thug, Sarah. A bully. And he thinks he can push blame onto his brother. That’s not a man. That’s a coward. I wouldn’t be surprised if he faked getting his medals that I saw on his jacket at the ball.”
Sarah gasped.
“How could you say that? I was present for one of them! My father was the one who presented the medal. Do you want to doubt what I saw?”
“No, of course not …”
Sarah cut her off with a sharp swipe of her hand.
“Just because you think the worst about Henry Beaufort doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. I happen to know he’s a good man. A decent one. And everyone has ignored him for years because James is the favoured son.”
“He was ignored because he was a bad person, Sarah!”
“That’s because nobody listened! It wasn’t because he’s a bad person! That’s just ridiculous.” Sarah was breathing heavily now, her cheeks flushed. “If you’re going to be such a brat about this …”
“What?” Caroline stared. “Did you just call me a brat?”
“Yes, I did! And you hear me out before you scoff.” Sarah folded her arms. “You know every time I’ve seen Henry since he’s come back, he’s asked how you were? What were you up to? Whenever you came into sight at the ball, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. He’s genuinely interested in how you’ve been getting on.”
That threw Caroline a little. But she pushed her bewilderment aside.
“Asking about me makes you think he’s genuine in wanting to know me, does it?”
“I think it does. I remember when we were talking before, back when we were getting acquainted. There was a suggestion that Henry and I should get married as that would be beneficial for both of us. Henry politely turned my father’s suggestion down, saying that he couldn’t give me his full attention when his heart was with someone else, and it would be unfair to me. He wouldn’t elaborate except that it was someone from his childhood.”
It took a moment for the penny to drop and for Caroline to realise what her friend was saying. Her mouth dropped open.
“And you think that means he’s in love with me? Really, Sarah?”
“I wouldn’t say love just yet.” Sarah shook her head. “But he certainly has strong feelings for you, and I wouldn’t discard him so quickly because of your perceived opinions.”
“Perceived opinions?” Caroline snorted. “That’s what I really think. How could he be in love with me after we’ve only met twice.”
“You decided on him after one encounter! And an unfair one, as well. What’s to say that didn’t happen to him as well?”
Caroline hated to admit it, but Sarah did have a point. If she could have such a strong opinion on someone after one meeting, so could anyone else. But to say that Henry might have fallen for her at eleven years old when he cut her head open? If that was love, he had a very strange way of showing it.
She wanted no part of it, even as it made her stomach flutter at the thought.
“It will never happen, Sarah.”
“How do you know if you don’t try?” Sarah shot back.
“I know what happened that day. And I can’t put this in the past.”
“Do you really know what happened? Or do you think you know?”
Was she doubting Caroline’s word? Did she seriously think Caroline was lying about what happened? She knew what had occurred and knew who was to blame. If Sarah was going to defend the man who had scarred Caroline for life, she was throwing their friendship away.
“I don’t have to hear this.” Caroline turned and headed towards the front door, which was already open for her. “I’m taking your carriage home. This is not something I want to carry on.”
“So, you’re going to run away instead of confronting it?” Sarah stormed after her. “You both deserve to know the truth.”
“I know the truth, Sarah. If Lord Bannock can’t accept it, that’s on him. And stop trying to push us together, Sarah, or we might not end up being friends anymore.”
“Caroline …”
But Caroline was already out of the door. Then she realised the carriage was going to take a while to get ready. She would be hovering on the threshold for a while and anyone could come upon her. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not Sarah.
It was only next to her home. And it wasn’t far to walk. So, Caroline headed down the drive towards the main road. It was a very long drive and certainly very winding, but it was better than waiting in the sun for a carriage that might not even get to her if Sarah managed to stop it.
As Caroline walked, she focused on her breathing and trying to ease the tightness in her chest. She didn’t know whether to scream or burst into tears. Being around Henry Beaufort was bad enough, but to have her friend defend him and call her a brat really hurt. Sarah had always been on her side. She had defended her against other people, especially those who kept making remarks about the scar. Her friend had been at her side.
To have her turn around and defend Henry instead felt like a slap in the face. How could she think it was all right to do that? Why did she believe Henry’s story over Caroline’s? Whatever spell Henry had cast was still strong. Sarah’s weakness was certainly Henry Beaufort and his belief that he was the wrong party.
Even as she stormed home, there was a niggling part of her that wondered if things were as simple as they were made out to be. Was there something else going on here? Was she missing something?
Caroline pushed that away. No, she wasn’t missing something. She knew what had happened, and it wasn’t going to stop because someone she thought was her friend was putting doubts into her head. She needed to stay strong.
Henry Beaufort, Lord Bannock, didn’t deserve to have her presence. And she could breathe better when he wasn’t around.