Chaos by Sarah Bailey

Forty Two

West

TEN YEARS AGO

The persistent knocking at my door made me let out a huff as I approached it. My parents had gone out somewhere. Fuck knows where. Who gave a shit. They certainly didn’t give one about me, but whatever. I didn’t want to think about them.

I pulled the door open only to find Scarlett standing there, her eyes full of tears and her body trembling. My hands went to her, pulling her inside, shutting the door and wrapping my arms around her.

“West,” she sobbed. “Oh god, I can’t. I keep remembering it over and over.”

I held her tighter. My best friend had been through an ordeal last week. And only now was it finally hitting her.

“Shh, I’ve got you, Little Nyx. I’ve got you.”

She gripped my t-shirt in an iron hold, clutching me to her as if her life depended on it. This girl was my universe. I would die for her if I could. So right now, I was going to hold her whilst she cried. Whilst she sobbed her heart out all over my chest because she’d been assaulted. Drake had saved her from the fuckers in time, but it didn’t make it any easier on her. Didn’t mean she was okay. She’d told me so last night when we were on the phone with each other.

“They almost… I can’t… I don’t want them to have that from me.”

“They didn’t, Scar. Drake stopped them, remember? He stopped them.”

She shook in my arms. I wished I could make her pain go away. I wanted to soothe her damn soul. Not just because Scarlett was my best friend. I was in love with her. I had been since the day she’d stomped into the classroom on the first day of primary school, her light brown wavy hair wild and her hazel-green eyes full of determination. Especially when she walked right up to me and broke out into a smile as she put out her hand. This five-year-old girl was fearless as she introduced herself to me as Scarlett Nyx. And she’d captivated me ever since.

Her tiny fists gripped my t-shirt harder. My heart fucking broke. We couldn’t stay standing here in the hallway. I wanted her to be comfortable. Pulling back, I took her tear-streaked face between my palms, wiping away her still falling tears with my thumbs.

“What can I do?”

“Just be here for me.”

I dropped my hands from her face and took her hand, leading her upstairs to my bedroom. She’d been in here a thousand times before, but something about today felt different. She’d sought me out directly without informing the others. Without even texting me beforehand.

I left her by my bed as I grabbed the box of tissues sitting on my desk and brought them over to her. Scarlett took them from me, giving me a sad smile as she wiped her face. No matter whether she was crying, happy, angry or sad, she was always beautiful to me. The most radiant being I’d ever encountered in this universe.

She sniffled and threw the used tissues in the bin, setting the box down on my bedside table before looking at me.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She’d told me exactly what happened. She’d explained it to all of us even though Drake had been there. He didn’t see them grab her and take her behind the building at school. He didn’t see when they’d tried to stick their hands up her skirt nor when she’d made an attempt to push them off. But he did get there right before they tore her knickers down her legs. He did tell them to fuck off and leave her alone. Then he’d held Scarlett whilst she cried and made sure she was okay.

I didn’t care what anyone else said. We were going to make those cunts pay for what they did to her. What they kept getting away with because of who they were. Drake, Prescott, Francis and I weren’t going to stand for it any longer. Not now they’d hurt our best friend. Not when they’d tried to do to Scarlett what they’d done to other girls, the fuckers.

“No. I don’t want to think about it. I can’t. It hurts too much.”

I reached out and cupped her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“Should I invite the others over? We can break into Henry’s drinking cabinet again.”

I don’t know when I stopped calling Henry, Dad. Maybe when I realised he was an absolute cunt. Didn’t call my mother that title either. She was Cynthia. I think she hated it, but I didn’t care. The woman always gave me a hard fucking time for no reason.

“Your parents aren’t here?”

“No, thank fuck.”

Scarlett gave me a sad smile. She didn’t like them much either. And they thought she was a bad influence on me. To be honest, they hated the boys too. We were troublemakers as far as they were concerned. Didn’t give a shit what they thought. The boys and Scarlett were my best friends, more like family to me than my parents had ever been. I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

“I don’t want you to invite the others over.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

She stepped closer to me. There was something in her eyes. Something that told me she was about to change everything.

“I want you to erase their memory from my skin.”

For a long minute as I tried to work out what the fuck she meant, I stared at her as she looked at me. Her eyes betrayed her feelings. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and seeing. My heart raced out of control. It beat so damn hard in my chest, I thought it was going to burst.

“You want what?”

Another step brought her even closer.

“West, don’t you know how I feel about you?”

I shook my head. Never once had I guessed she might reciprocate my feelings towards her. We were super fucking close, but as friends. I’d always thought we were friends.

Scarlett stepped right up into my personal space and placed her hand on my heart. It pounded harder against my chest. I was sure she could feel it.

“I love you.”

Those words. Those fucking words had me struggling to draw air into my lungs.

She feels the same way. She fucking feels the same way.

“You love me?” I whispered.

She nodded as her other hand found mine and brought it up so she could entwine our fingers together.

“I’ve always loved you, ever since the moment I saw you.” She let out a little sigh. “That’s why I went up to you. I was drawn to you. I’ve always been drawn to all of you, but I saw you first, West. It’s always been you.”

Never in a million fucking years did I ever imagine she’d come over today and declare her love for me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. All I could think about was her. This was fate. Destiny had spun its web and brought us together.

“Why me? Why not one of the others?”

She shook her head and leant closer to me.

“What kind of question is that? You’re you. There’s no one else like you.”

“Scar…”

“There shouldn’t be any questions. I love you. That’s it. You’re the whole world to me, West. I don’t know why you can’t see that.”

I didn’t know why I couldn’t either. It was insane, wasn’t it? The girl I’d loved my whole life had secretly loved me too. How didn’t I see it when I knew her like the back of my hand? And why the hell was I questioning it? Fuck, I loved her too. I loved her so much, I thought I might die if I was ever without her.

“Scar, I… I…”

She didn’t let me speak. Instead, she went up on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth against mine. She took a kiss from me without permission, but she didn’t need it. I’d grant her everything she wanted if she didn’t stop pressing her mouth against mine. My fingers went to her waist, tugging her against me as my mouth parted and allowed her in. It was a clumsy kiss because neither of us had done it before, but I didn’t care. She tasted like fucking magic.

We eventually found our natural rhythm, neither of us wanting to let the other go. This was everything and nothing like I’d imagined. And I thought about kissing Scarlett more than a thousand times over the years. I was in fucking heaven, never wanting it to end, but I had to. There was something I needed to say to her.

Pulling away, I dropped her hand so I could cup her face in both my hands again. She stared up at me, her beautiful eyes full of affection. Full of fucking love.

“I love you too, Scar. I’m so fucking in love with you it hurts. From the moment you stepped into the classroom all those years ago, I knew deep in my heart, you are it for me. I didn’t dare hope you’d ever feel the same way.”

She pressed another kiss to my mouth, a tear spilling down her cheek.

“I do. I really do. And I meant it… I want you to erase them from my skin. I want it to be you. Please, make love to me, West. I don’t care if neither of us knows what we’re doing. I trust you with my body, heart and soul.”

I hesitated, unsure if now was the right time to do this. But when the fuck had timing ever been right? She’d told me she loved me. This girl loved me and I loved her. Scarlett Nyx was the world to me just as I was to her.

“Okay, though I don’t have protection or anything because I didn’t think…”

She smiled and shook her head.

“I do.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Did you come here to seduce me?”

She laughed, the beautiful sound tinkling from her lips and making my heart swell.

“Yeah, I kind of did.”

I drew her down onto my bed, pressing her flat on her back before I fit myself between her legs.

“Well, consider me seduced.”

“That was easy.”

I smiled, leaning down to brush my lips against hers.

“With you, everything is easy, Scar. I’d do anything you asked.”

Taking her hand, I pressed it against my chest.

“I love you. My heart is yours. Take care of it for me.”

“I will, West. I promise.”

And with that, I kissed her, allowing her tongue to meld with mine because I was never letting Scarlett Nyx go again. Not when she was mine… and I was hers.