The Silent Highlander by Donna Fletcher

Chapter 15

Warm. So nice and warm. The thought lingered in her foggy mind as sleep left her and she stretched against the warmth.

Her eyes suddenly popped open and she sprang up in bed to stare at her husband and quickly pulled her hand off his chest, a habit of hers to plant it there, to launch herself up in bed. The loss of warmth shivered her senseless and she realized she was naked and one look at her husband’s green eyes firing with passion conveyed his thoughts. She turned away to pull the blanket up and spotted the sizeable rise in the blanket below his waist.

He desired her as he had most mornings and her body felt the same, a pang of passion hitting her unexpectedly. She turned to face him and though her body ached for him as well as her heart, she couldn’t help but ask, “How do I trust you when you have lied to me?”

Odran’s thought was to snatch her in his arms and show her how much he loved her and how there was no difference between him and Saber. But he wisely realized that was not what she needed from him, and what troubled him the most was that he didn’t know how to give her what she needed from him.

He pushed himself to sit up in bed and his hand caught on the robe that had fallen off her completely in the middle of the night. He handed it to her more for his sanity than her discomfort.

“I wish I knew what to tell you, but there is no easy answer. When you asked me to marry you, you caught me unaware and my immediate response, that I bit back with my tongue, was to say yes. Yes, I will marry you right now, this very moment. I knew I loved you shortly after we met. It was why I foolishly kept returning to your cottage when I knew better. But no matter how much I loved you, I didn’t want to condemn you to a life with a cursed man. You, however, changed all that when you chose me as your husband.”

It did her heart good to hear that he had rejected her to protect her and that he loved her from almost the first moment they met. But how she had changed everything by choosing him as a husband confused her and it showed in her scrunched brow.

“Your sister Bliss made it clear that you and Annis be allowed to choose the men you wish to wed.”

It dawned on Elysia then. “By choosing you of my free will, I opened the door for me to wed you whether you were one of the cursed lords or not.”

Odran nodded. “And I cannot begin to tell you how it delighted Chieftain Emory. He didn’t waste a moment in seeing it done and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The truth is, I didn’t want to stop it. I wanted you as my wife. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with another man. I felt I’d claimed you as mine the moment I took hold of you and planted you to sit on my leg in your cottage.”

“Why didn’t you tell me all this?”

“For one thing, it was difficult to explain when I barely could speak and by the time I could get more words out, I didn’t know how to tell you. How did I tell you that I was a cursed man and by wedding me you cursed yourself? What kind of life could I give you? We can’t dare have children and force them to suffer a dreadful curse.”

Elysia held her hand still, it almost rushing to her stomach as if it could somehow protect the bairn nestled there.

“Loss and suffering has plagued my family. After the curse was cast my mother suffered three miscarriages. My da’s only brother and sister died within days of each other, never having been ill.” He stopped, a flash of anger sparking in his eyes before he continued. “My brother Tynan died on the battlefield and my mother took ill shortly after and has not been well since. I will not see you suffer as my mum did with each child she lost and I will not chance losing you as my da almost lost my mum with her last miscarriage. Hear me well and understand why I tell you we cannot have any children.”

Elysia kept a truthful tongue as best she could, but this was a time she chose to hold her tongue and simply nodded. It was not the time to tell him that she was with child. It was, however, the reason to pray harder that Annis would find a way to break the curse.

Odran reached out to touch her, feeling the familiar comfort they once shared with each other and was surprised, though more disappointed, when she backed away from him.

He let his hand fall to his side. “Saber and Odran are one.”

She shook her head. “I knew Saber. I don’t know Odran.”

“I am no different,” he said, regretting the annoyance he heard in his voice.

She nearly winced at his unfamiliar tone. “Your powerful voice says differently.”

“I suppose there is a difference,” Odran admitted. “Saber had the freedom to be a farmer, live a life he chose to live with the woman he loved. Odran has no such choice. He will lead a powerful clan, have great responsibility, and make decisions not all will agree with, at least though he will have the woman he loves and who loves him by his side.”

Elysia felt it was a question he asked of her. Did she still love him? She spoke from her heart. “I love Saber. I will forever love Saber.”

He scrunched his eyes shut a moment and when he opened them, he asked, “Will you give Odran a chance?”

“Aye,” she said without hesitation and her quick response had her realizing that she didn’t want to lose the love she had found with her husband and somehow she had to find a way to make sure she didn’t.

“Good,” he said relieved. “You will soon learn for yourself that I am the man you fell in love with.”

Words rushed from her mouth. “With you gone, I haven’t drunk the brew to prevent a bairn.”

“I can see that you are not comfortable being intimate with Odran, so I will leave it up to you to let me know when you are. I will not force you,” he said and turned a smile on her while passion teased in his eyes. “But I will encourage you and I strongly suggest you start drinking that brew today.”

He got out of bed and hurried into his garments, not trusting himself to sit there with them both naked. It would not be easy to keep his hands off his wife, not that he would completely, but he had to be careful. She needed to be the one to initiate intimacy with Odran, to accept him, to love him.

Once he was fully dressed, he turned to see, and gratefully so, that she had covered herself. “I have much to see to before we take our leave. Take what you want from the croft and the cottage. Another healer will be given the cottage. I will see that word is sent out, in hopes that Annis hears it, that she is to return to your new home at Clan MacBridan. If she arrives here first, she will be brought to our home. I will also have word sent to Bliss so she knows where you are.”

“Please let her continue to believe it is Saber I am wed to,” Elysia was quick to say. “She will worry if she knows me wed to one of the cursed lords and she no doubt has enough to worry her.”

He nodded. “I will see she is told that it was Saber and your choice to move to the Clan MacBridan after the attack.”

“Thank you. It eases my worry for my sisters.” Elysia was appreciative of his consideration and she wondered that perhaps Saber and Odran were no different after all.

* * *

Elysia thought differentlywhen she descended the stairs less than an hour later, hearing his voice raised in anger.

“Tell me how—HOW prisoners escaped your watch,” Odran demanded of two of his warriors standing in front of him at the dais.

One of the two warriors went to explain when a voice shouted out.

“That was his fault.” Bram and Tavish pointed to each other at a table they sat at in the Great Hall. Both men stood and approached the dais, tankards of ale in their hands.

Bram explained with a grin. “We volunteered to help the prisoners—”

Tavish cut in with a laugh. “And drank a bit too much ale—”

Bram interrupted, his grin growing. “And fell asleep.”

Elysia had watched from the shadows and while Tavish found it amusing, none of Odran’s men did, nor did Odran.

Odran glanced at his two warriors. “I gave no order for this.”

“We’re all one clan now, what difference does it make?’ Tavish said with a shrug. “We just wanted to help out, be part of your warriors.”

“You want to be part of my elite warriors?” Odran asked, rising out of his chair.

“Clan warriors,” Bram corrected.

Tavish didn’t agree. “No, your special warriors. We’re just as good as they are, maybe better.”

“Finch take these two men and start them on a day of training and let’s see how they do,” Odran ordered.

“We’ll show you we’re good or better, right Bram?” Tavish said and Bram gave a hesitant nod.

Elysia jumped when a hand grabbed her arm.

“Please stop the fool,” Lendra begged in a whisper. “He came to me this morning, pleading for the brew you gave him to help ease his aches and pain. He’s not well. The battle took its toll on him but he’s too proud to admit otherwise.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Elysia said and stepped out of the shadows. “My lord, a word with you a moment, please.”

Odran was pleased to see his wife, but not pleased to hear her address him so formally and not pleased that her garments, while freshly cleaned, were torn in several places.

Elysia was glad Finch stepped aside when she approached the dais and when she reached her husband, she stepped to his side, forcing him to turn to her. She kept her voice to a whisper. “Bram needs rest. He stills heals from his wound and yesterday’s battle had to have taken a toll on him. If he tries to lift his sword again today, it might be the last time he ever does.”

“Tavish?”

“He suffered no wounds from what I saw yesterday,” she informed him.

He nodded. “Sit and eat.” When he saw she was about to reject his offer, he said, “That wasn’t a suggestion, wife.” He turned and pulled out a chair from the table for her.

His commanding tone sent a tingle of fright through her and she sat without protest.

Odran remained standing as he confronted both men. “Tavish, you will go with Finch. Bram, you will not lift a sword until I give you permission to do so.”

Bram took a hasty step forward and pointed a finger at Elysia. “She did this, didn’t she? She told you I wasn’t fit to fight.”

Odran’s fist came down like thunder on the table. “SHE is my wife, LADY ELYSIA, and you will address her properly or suffer for it.”

“My apologies, my lord, please forgive my foolish tongue,” Bram apologized, realizing his mistake and bowing his head. “I meant no disrespect to Lady Elysia.”

“Get out of my sight and don’t dare let anyone catch you with a sword in your hand,” Odran ordered, then looked to his two warriors. “You know the punishment for not adhering to orders, see it done.” He sat and looked to his wife. “Eat.”

Elysia had lost her appetite at seeing her husband strike the table with such force. She swore she had heard the table creak or crack. She could not imagine what such a powerful force could do to a person.

Frightened to disobey him, she took a piece of bread and nibbled at it, though her roiling stomach warned her against it. She saw that he had eaten already and she hoped that he would not remain with her. She simply could not force any food into her churning stomach.

“You got thin. Have you been ill?” Odran asked, worried over her.

She shook her head. “No. No, it’s not that. I’ve had no time with all the wounded brought here. Lendra makes sure I have plenty of food, but I’ve been mostly too tired or too busy to eat.”

“That no longer is a problem for you,” Odran said, expecting no difficulty in seeing it done, and as soon as Brit rushed into the Great Hall, he realized that it might be more difficult than he thought, at least while they remained here.

“I’m sorry to disturb, my lord,” Brit said with a bob of her head that turned quickly to Elysia. “Lenis is not well.”

Elysia stood.

“You have not eaten,” Odran said.

Elysia said what she believed would explain it. “I am needed.”

Brit was quick to speak. “I will see that Lady Elysia eats. I have honey oat cakes. She loves honey oat cakes.”

“That she does,” Odran agreed.

To hear Odran say that brought a soft smile to her face. “You know me well, husband.”

“Remember that,” he said.

She understood that he reminded her that he, Odran, knew that just as Saber did—no difference. She nodded and hurried around the table.

“Make sure my wife eats something,” Odran ordered, casting a firm look to Brit and the woman nodded repeatedly.

* * *

“At least takeit with you, please,” Brit begged, holding a honey oat cake to Elysia. “Lord Odran will be angry with me for not feeding you.”

Elysia’s churning stomach was not fit for food, but she took the cake seeing how upset Brit was that she had not adhered to Lord Odran’s command.

“I should not have disturbed your meal with Lord Odran,” Brit apologized, glancing to her husband playfully poking at their daughter who smiled with delight back at him. “It was nothing that a good belch didn’t cure.”

Elysia smiled glad for the rescue from the Great Hall, though she didn’t let Brit know that. “Nonsense. It is better to fetch me quickly than wait and possibly have the problem grow worse. I was glad to see little Lenis content in her da’s arms when we arrived.”

“We will miss you, Elysia,” Kevin said. “You’ve been a good healer and a good friend to us all.”

“Aye, Kevin’s right,” Brit agreed. “Everyone talks about how sorry they are to see you go and how grateful they are to you. The clan would have never survived the attack if Lord Odran hadn’t arrived when he did.”

“And all know Lord Odran returned for you—his wife. We are alive and now safe under the protection of Lord Odran because of you, Elysia,” Kevin said.

Brit sniffled back tears that were ready to fall before she spoke. “The brave lass who dared to love one of the cursed lords.”

Elysia didn’t feel comfortable with the praise, didn’t feel she deserved it. She had wed Saber because she trusted him, was comfortable with him, and if she was truthful, she loved him. She simply hadn’t admitted it to herself before they wed. And, of course, she questioned if she had been the true reason Lord Odran returned? Or had it been duty that brought him to the Clan Loudon?

“I best be on my way,” Elysia said and made a hasty exit, intending to seek the solitude of her cottage. She needed to be alone to ponder.

She was trying to make sense of why she couldn’t reconcile Saber and Odran. They truly were one and yet they were different to her. The most startling difference was that she hadn’t feared Saber, not so Odran. The powerful strength of his voice, hearing the table crack from his fist, and seeing how easily he had taken a man’s life had put fear in her. Saber had made his strength known but not as harshly as Odran had, but she did need to consider what Odran had said. Saber was a farmer. Odran would one day rule a clan. That thought alone filled her with fright. She knew nothing about a wife’s duties to a lord.

“You made me look a fool.”

Elysia jumped startled by Bram suddenly appearing in front of her and forcing her to an abrupt halt.

Bram stepped toward her, a snarl curling his upper lip. “You had no right.”

She stepped back. “Do you wish to lose the use of your sword arm forever?”

“That won’t happen,” he snapped.

“It will if you don’t rest it for a while, especially after yesterday’s attack. Does it pain you now?” she asked, though she knew it did by the way he held it close to his side.

His snarl remained. “Of course it hurts, I battled yesterday. And what you say isn’t going to make any difference anyway. You will leave soon and I will do what I will with my arm.”

Elysia kept her voice soft. “I thought you a wise warrior, Bram. A wise warrior would not chance losing the use of his sword arm. And you’re right. You will do as you will, then in the end the results will be of your own doing. I wish you well.”

Bram stared after her, rubbing his aching arm, as she walked away.

Elysia entered her cottage and stood staring at the room that had been her home for as long as she could remember. She was protective of the small cottage, wanting it there for Annis when she returned or if Bliss should need to return for any reason. She hoped Annis would not fail as she did. Now none of them would have a home to return to if necessary.

With a glance around the room, she wondered what to take with her. Surely, Odran’s clan had a healer and would not need what was here. Besides, the healing plants and such belonged to the new healer now.

Elysia set about gathering her personal things, the few there were of them, and she saw to carefully packing her stitching needles and pieces of stitching she was working on. She folded a worn blanket she had repaired numerous times, but held countless memories, to take. Her mum would wear it like a shawl on cold days and wrap her or her sisters in it when one of them wasn’t feeling well. There were times she thought she caught the scent of her on the blanket and the tears that had been choking her since yesterday finally let loose.

She hugged the blanket to her chest and let her tears fall, hoping the hurt and pain washed away with them.

The door opened. It could only be one person who would enter without a tap to the door and she turned. The concern in her husband’s eyes seeing her crying made it easier for her to go to him, though she didn’t get to take a step. He hurried to her, his strong arms going around her and pulling her tight against him.

Odran wanted to lash out at whoever made his wife cry, but he surmised it just might be him that had caused her tears. He was taking her away from all she knew and suddenly, without a choice. It had to hurt her and he hated that he had once again caused her pain.

Her tears subsided and she felt a fool for letting her husband see her that way. She looked up at him and at that moment she saw gentle, loving Saber in his eyes. The sense of being home in his arms overwhelmed her and her body lost its tense worry and relaxed against him.

“I’m sorry for the tears,” she said.

Odran wiped at her wet cheek with his thumb. “Never be sorry for shedding tears in front of me. I will always be here to hold you when you do and apologize for whatever I did that may have caused you to cry.” He turned a playful scowl on her. “Or to beat senseless whoever caused you to cry.”

She smiled softly. “You cannot beat memories.”

He stroked away the tears on her other cheek. “No, but I can see that we make good memories for you to enjoy.”

“That would be nice,” she said, memories stirring of how remarkable his kisses had been, had her eyes settling on his lips.

He saw in her eyes and how she plucked at her bottom lip with her teeth that she wanted to kiss him, and he didn’t hesitate. He took a chance and lowered his mouth to hers. Passion exploded as soon as their lips touched. Her arms reached up to wrap around his neck and with one arm around her waist he hoisted her off her feet, allowing her arms to slip around his neck.

The kiss turned demanding like a hunger that could not be appeased. It had been too long, far too long, and Odran had an endless thirst for her.

His free hand went to her backside, hoisting her farther up and her legs instinctively, or out of habit, wrapped around him. He walked to the bed, waiting for her to stop him, praying she wouldn’t.

He pulled his lips off hers, giving them both time to breathe and nipped at her neck. “I’ve missed kissing you, touching you, being inside you.”

She shuddered against him, having missed the same, having ached endlessly for him. His name fell longingly from her lips. “Saber.”

Odran stopped at the edge of the bed and brought his face close to hers. “Odran,” he reminded, wanting his wife to acknowledge him, make love with him, and understand that Saber was no more.”

Elysia blinked rapidly several times as if forcing herself to wake from a dream. And no longer seeing the gentle Saber in his eyes, she stiffened in his arms, her slim arms going limp around his neck.

He lowered her feet to the ground. “Make haste in accepting Odran, wife, for he is your husband and always has been. Don’t deny what we have. What we share. What we will always share. Drink that brew, since we both know that it won’t be long before we make love, before we can’t resist, can’t deny what we feel.”

He stepped away from her. “Now tell me what Bram had to say when he rudely stopped and spoke with you.”