Burning for Love by Evangeline Anderson
45
“What do you mean, you’re leaving? James, you said you loved me!” Rissa felt as though her heart was breaking as she looked up at the big Kindred. Lady Mildew had—quite unexpectedly—allowed her a few moments alone with him this evening before her bath. But what he was telling her was terrible news!
“Princess, I must leave after your wedding tomorrow morning,” he repeated stoically. There was no emotion in his metallic blue eyes as he spoke—no regret or sorrow that Rissa could see at all. “My mission will be over once you are safely wed,” he continued.
“But…but I was hoping that maybe you wouldn’t want me to wed Lord Shammington,” she whispered, looking up at him hopefully. “I could go with you, James. I could abdicate the throne.”
This thought had occurred to her during the interminable dancing that night. She was fairly certain one of her ancestors—called by the history books, King Thomas the Hasty—had done so, when he wished to marry a foreign woman from another planet. Why could she not do the same?
But James was shaking his head.
“I am afraid that is unacceptable, Princess,” he said coldly. “You cannot give up your Royal responsibility to Regalia Five because of me.”
“Yes, I can!” Rissa protested. “I can because…because I still love you, James! I shall always love you,” she continued in a whisper. She waited, her heart pounding, to hear him say it back.
But he only shook his head.
“You are allowing illogical emotions to overcome your better judgment.”
“I don’t care about any of that! James, did you hear me? I said, I love you!” Rissa exclaimed. She reached up and tried to pull him down for a kiss, as she had after the duel, but the big Kindred was solid as a rock and he refused to lower his mouth to hers. “James, kiss me!” she demanded desperately. “Tell me that you love me too, as you did only a week ago!”
“I am afraid your emotion is one I cannot share or reciprocate.” He spoke woodenly—no, robotically, Rissa thought, feeling sick. He hadn’t sounded so stilted—so unemotional—since he first came to Court to be her guard.
“But I thought—” she began.
“I am deeply sorry if I gave you an incorrect impression,” he went on relentlessly. “But as you know, I have no emotions and so I cannot return your sentiments.”
“But you said you loved me!” Rissa cried again. “You said it, James, and I know you felt it, too—I could feel it in the kiss we shared!”
He shook his head.
“My emotion damper was temporarily malfunctioning. Please accept my apologies.”
“I do not want your apologies!” Rissa exclaimed, reaching for him again. “I want your love, James! If you could only see—”
“I see that you finally have an acceptable suitor who is your own age and who seems to be an honorable male with Royal blood,” he interrupted her. Gently, he took her hands away from his shoulders and put them down by her sides. “Princess,” he said. “You must go on with your life and forget about me. I was only sent here to guard you for a short time. After your wedding tomorrow morning, I must go home. And then you and I will probably never see each other again.”
Rissa felt as though her heart was breaking into a million pieces.
“Never again?” she whispered. “Do I really mean so little to you, James?”
For a moment he hesitated, and she thought she saw a look of misery on his face. But then it passed, so quickly she wasn’t even sure she’d seen it in the first place, and his features became as impassive as stone again.
“Forgive me,” he said formally. “But I believe it is time for us to part.” He bowed low to her. “My best wishes for your health and happiness, Your Majesty,” he murmured.
Then he straightened up and turned away, leaving Rissa with tears in her eyes and a pain so big inside her, it felt like it was tearing her apart.
