Burning for Love by Evangeline Anderson

49

James didn’t go back to his quarters. Instead, he wandered the halls of the Mother Ship. But everywhere he went, he seemed to see glimpses of Ka’rissa. Some of the Earth women aboard who had been called as brides had the same creamy brown skin tones she did—though none of them had the pearly sheen her Royal blood gave her. Still, any reminder of her was an agony. He ached to hold her again and yet he knew he never would.

He kept seeing her lovely amber-brown eyes looking up at him so pleadingly…kept hearing her soft voice saying, “I love you…I shall always love you.”

She loved you and you left her behind—you gave her away to another male, whispered an accusing little voice in his head.

But I had to! I couldn’t let her abdicate her throne for me—it would have been wrong to take her away from the life she was born to lead just because I loved her. And it wouldn’t have worked to try and Join with her on Regalia Five, either—it would have caused tensions between her people and mine and possibly a bloody revolt on her planet. How could I condemn others to die just to satisfy my own carnal lusts?

But it hadn’t just been lust between them—although he loved to stroke and hold her lush, full body against his own, James thought. He had loved her soul as well—her soft, silvery laugh, her innocence, her curiosity—everything about her had called to him. Everything about her made him love her.

I love her, he thought, feeling the truth of it to the core of his being. This emotion inside me must be love—I want to be with her, hold her, protect her, care for her always. But I never will—I will never have her. She belongs to another.

It was a terrible thought and it refused to leave his head. It just went round and round inside his brain until he wondered if this new condition was what going mad felt like. And if so, would he ever be sane again?

After hours of aimless wandering and intense mental suffering, James looked up and found that he was right outside the Sacred Grove. It was a small forest of trees with green and purple leaves that rustled in the soft, evening breeze.

He had never been here before—as a nonbeliever, he had never felt the need to come to the epicenter of the Goddess’s worship. But now he remembered Commander Sylvan’s words about how the priestesses here could cool his blood. Should he do it? Should he ask for the cooling touch?

Surely it would be all right, he told himself. After all, he wouldn’t be getting rid of his emotions entirely—he would just be calming them down some. He felt that if he didn’t get some relief soon, he was going to do something completely unacceptable—like shouting at the top of his lungs or maybe even pulling out his blaster and shooting himself.

Yes, the emotions were that bad.

But what if Ka’rissa felt the same way, back on Regalia Five? She had no priestess to cool her blood and her blood was literally on fire. Even now she might be submitting to Lord Shammington, who would be slaking her Heat, since it was their wedding night…

But the thought of that—of the female he loved with another male—was too much to bear. James fell to his knees in front of the Sacred Grove, his hands pressed to the sides of his aching head, trying to shut out the mental image of Ka’rissa and the smug young Lord Shammington in bed together.

No one should slake her Heat but him, damn it! But he had left her to Lord Shammington. Even now, he was probably taking off the elaborate wedding gown she’d worn to the ceremony and running his hands over her creamy brown skin… No…no!

“Make it stop,” he begged hoarsely, though he didn’t know who he was talking to. “Gods, please—make it stop!”

“Warrior, your pain has been heard.”

The soft voice came from above. Looking up, James saw a priestess standing over him. She had long brown hair with green streaks in it and the green-within-green eyes that were common to her kind. There was a commanding presence about her, as though she was used to being in charge.

At this point, James was very happy to let her take charge of him—if she wanted to.

“Please,” he said hoarsely, looking up at her. “I am…suffering emotional pain. It is much worse than any physical pain I have ever experienced and I do not know how to deal with it. I was told that one of your kind could cool my blood.”

“I can, Warrior.”

Leaning down slightly, she placed cool fingertips on his temples and James felt the uncomfortable sensation of someone looking through his memories. It was like she was rifling through his brain—though thankfully, she had a light mental touch.

“I see…I see…” she murmured. “Yes, you have so much pain and you have never felt anything like it before. You have lived your life in numbness…blankness. But that is not the Goddess’s will for her children.”

“I…I am no child of hers,” James admitted. “I am an unbeliever.”

“Just because you do not believe in The Mother of All Life, does not mean she doesn’t believe in you,” the priestess said gently. “She—” She stopped abruptly and her entire body went stiff. Then her green-within-green eyes began to glow. “Yes, Goddess,” she said, staring blindly ahead. “Use me as your vessel to speak to this Warrior.”

“Priestess?” James looked up at her uncertainly. What was happening?

“Warrior.”The voice coming from the priestess now was different—it was richer, stronger, though still completely feminine. James found it surprisingly familiar. “Warrior,” she said again. “Do you know me?”

Suddenly he remembered where he had heard the voice before.

“You warned me when Ka’rissa was about to drink the poisoned tea!” he exclaimed, looking up at her in awe.

He hadn’t stopped to think much about the incident before—mainly because the idea that he had heard a disembodied voice made him uncomfortably aware that his logic circuits might be malfunctioning due to his growing emotions. But now he realized that the voice hadn’t had anything to do with a malfunction.

“It was you,” he said. “Are…are you the Goddess? Do you truly exist?”

“I am and I do,”the Goddess said through the priestess. “You have come here for healing, thinking that your mission on Regalia Five is over. But I tell you, Warrior, it has only just begun.”

“What?” James looked at her uncertainly. “I am sorry. I…I do not understand.”

“All is not what it seems on Regalia Five,”the Goddess told him. “A cry for help will come to you soon—you must be ready to act.”

“I don’t understand! Is Ka’rissa in danger? What do you mean, Goddess?” James demanded.

But at that moment, the priestess’s eyes stopped glowing. She blinked and took a step backwards.

“Ah, I have never hosted the Goddess before,” she whispered, sounding overcome with emotion. “To be so indwelled is…an intense experience.”

“Did you hear what she told me? Did you understand it?” James demanded. “If you did, please explain it to me!”

The priestess shook her head.

“I am sorry, Warrior, but I am only the mouthpiece of the Goddess in this situation. I do not understand her words any more than you do.”

“She told me to be ready,” James muttered. “She said there would be a cry for help.”

“Then you had better go and get ready,” the priestess said simply. She put a hand to her head. “Excuse me—I must go and lie down.”

“Thank you,” James told her. “I must go as well.”

He was going to heed the Goddess’s words and be ready—though what he was meant to get ready for, he didn’t know.