Bad for You by Weston Parker

8

BRITTANY

Another let-down date with Beckett James in progress. We were back at his favorite restaurant, and this time, I didn’t feel like the date was a staff meeting. I did, however, feel like I was being interrogated.

Beckett sat across from me with his spine ramrod straight and his lips pressed into a hard line. His jaw ticked as he glared at me, his eyes scrutinizing my face intently as he fired off his questions.

The only thing he seemed to be interested in talking to me about tonight was Tristin. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought that he’d only asked me out this evening so he could satisfy his curiosity about my ex.

Scratch that. I don’t know any better. That’s probably exactly what this is about.

After his display in my office, I’d decided to give him one more chance. I’d—mistakenly, apparently—told myself that maybe, just maybe, he actually cared. Why he’d reacted so possessively in front of Tristin was a mystery to me now, since I was pretty sure he didn’t actually care about me. It seemed instead like who he really cared about was Tristin.

“Why was he so familiar with you, Brittany?” he asked stiffly. “I’ve been going over it in my head, and it doesn’t make sense that you’ve never mentioned him before if the two of you really are old friends.”

It was the latest in the bunch of questions he’d been asking since picking me up. No matter how many times I’d told him to just forget about it and focus on us, he wouldn’t let up.

I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair, ruffling it at the top and then dropping my hand back to my lap. “I’ve never mentioned him before because he’s been gone for a long time. I haven’t had any contact with him and no reason to mention that I knew him.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” Beckett leaned forward, his nostrils flaring. “It sure didn’t seem like the two of you hadn’t seen each other in years.”

“I saw him at the fundraiser and again in my classroom when you came in.” I sat back in my chair, pushing my half-finished plate of food away. “I don’t know why you feel the need to interrogate me about this, but I’m not hiding anything from you. Tristin and I were close in high school. We dated for a while, but it didn’t work out. He joined the Air Force, and I stayed here and became a teacher.”

“You dated him?” he snapped, his chin flying into the air as he stared at me down the length of his nose. “I knew you were lying about something.”

“I wasn’t lying. You never asked, and it never came up. I don’t know about your high school girlfriends either. It was a long time ago.”

He completely ignored what I’d said, his dark eyes flashing as he pinned me with his gaze. “Why did you break up?”

“We were in high school,” I repeated slowly. “As senior year progressed, I realized we were headed in different directions. I was going to college, and he was thinking about enlisting. It was no big deal.”

Okay, so now I’m lying.It had been a huge deal to me at the time, and those weren’t the real reasons, but I hadn’t told anyone what’d really happened back then. I wasn’t about to start with Beckett.

He kept glaring at me for another beat before he deflated and made a satisfied sound at the back of his throat. Condescension still rolled off him in waves, though.

“It’s probably for the best.” He gave a little sniff and picked up his fork. “You two don’t seem to suit each other at all. You need someone cerebral, not a meathead like Tristin Ramsey.”

“Meathead?” I said dumbly, my brows shooting up.

For a second, I considered defending Tristin’s honor, but then I realized it was pointless. Besides, I doubted he cared much what Beckett thought about him.

“Meathead,” he confirmed before popping more of the limp asparagus into his mouth. “We’re a much better match, I think.”

I completely disagreed with him, but I held my tongue. Teaching and helping my kids meant everything to me. I didn’t want things to be awkward with the principal, and I still hadn’t figured out how to break up with him tactfully.

Dinner was a total bust after that. I was preoccupied with trying to find a way to end things that wouldn’t jeopardize my career, and Beckett had fallen silent but wore this smug grin I couldn’t stand.

When he dropped me off at home, he killed his car’s engine and turned to face me in the near darkness of the cab. “It’s a weekend. Should I come in?”

“No, uh, I have a headache.” I didn’t, but I needed an excuse to get out of the terrible sex he was really proposing.

The truth was that even if it would’ve been magnificent sex, I’d still have said no. There was no way I could sleep with him when I knew without a doubt that I’d be breaking up with him in the very near future. “I’ll call you in the morning?”

His jaw tightened, but he nodded. “Sure. We’ll go to the antique market. There’s a lovely teapot I’ve had my eye on.”

If he’d said coffeepot, perhaps I’d have been able to muster up some excitement. Maybe I should’ve known from the start that our relationship was doomed to fail. The man hated coffee. He’d even forbidden me from drinking it because he didn’t want to taste it when he kissed me. Obviously, I still drank the stuff—it was what kept me sane most days—but I made sure to carry mints with me at all times.

“We can go to the antique market, but maybe after we can find somewhere to talk?” I suggested.

He frowned. “We talked tonight, didn’t we?”

“Yes, but there’s something I need to talk to you about in private.” Come hell or high water, I was ending it then.

It had only been a little over a week since I’d realized our relationship really wasn’t working, but that was long enough. Any longer and I’d start feeling like I was leading him on. I’d given it several chances this week to make sure I wasn’t being rash or unfair, but things seemed to be getting worse instead of better.

Beckett let out a long sigh and glanced at the clock on his dashboard. “Very well. We’ll speak tomorrow. It’s too late to get into anything now.”

A part of me wanted to point out that if he’d been up for sex, he could surely stay up for a few more minutes to talk, but I didn’t. On account of the whole “not knowing how to actually do it” thing.

We said good night, and as usual, he didn’t wait until I was inside before he drove off. I turned to go inside, but then I decided to take a walk instead. It was only six blocks to my old high school, and the school I taught at was just six blocks in the opposite direction.

Both of those places were like a balm to my soul. The elementary school was where I went when I needed to think about work stuff. When it came to personal stuff, the high school was my thinking spot.

It was a warm, clear night with a slight breeze rustling the leaves on the trees far above my head. My feet knew this walk so well that I was barely aware of my surroundings as I headed for the stands next to the football field at the high school.

There hadn’t been a game tonight, but the grounds were open until midnight for people to use the track and other sports facilities. I settled in on the stands, finding a spot on the far end of the field where I wouldn’t be blinded by any of the lights.

The stars weren’t bright out here, but I could see them when I rested my head back and stared up at the sky. If I was going to figure out what to do with my life, this was as good a place as any to get lost in thought. At least I could hear the sounds of students practicing whatever it was they were here to practice in the distance. It wasn’t the soul-numbing silence of my empty house.

A little while later, the rhythmic thudding of approaching footsteps on the track made me sit up again. I blinked when I realized it was Tristin jogging along the track around the field. A faint smile appeared on my lips when I saw him, and I chuckled softly to myself, shaking my head as I watched him coming closer.

It’s a small world, after all.

It figured he’d appear just when I was contemplating what to do about my current boyfriend and the possible repercussions of leaving him. Back when we’d been together, Tristin had had a knack for showing up at the exact moment I needed to clear my head.

Despite the fact that many of those times I’d needed to clear my head for some reason relating to him, he’d always come through for me. Sometimes by confusing me even more which, in a weird way, would always lead me to realizing what I had really wanted the answer to whatever was bothering me to be.

Of course, back then, the answer was always that, no matter what, I wanted to be with him. And then I’d do whatever it took to make sure I could be with him.

As I watched him, I realized he hadn’t seen me yet. There were speakers in his ears, and his phone was strapped to his muscular bicep for his run. He was wearing jogging shorts and a skintight shirt, looking like an athletic god among men.

It was crazy that he’d gotten even sexier since I’d known him, but he really, really had. Everything in me clenched as I watched him move, the well-defined muscles in his legs bunching and relaxing until he looked up and spotted me.

Surprise registered on his features, but he recovered much faster than I had. A wide grin broke out across his face, and he reached up to pop the earbuds out before giving me a wave.

“Don’t you work at the elementary school?” he asked as he jogged up the few stairs separating us. “This seems like a really weird place to run into each other.”

“Says you.” I smiled and nearly fainted when he got close enough that I could smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with fresh sweat. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, lowering himself into the seat right beside mine. “I was restless, so I went for a run and decided to come check out the old high school. Make sure things are still standing. You?”

Those golden eyes were so vibrant and alive as they fixed on mine that I had to give my head a shake before I could formulate a coherent answer. This boy really does still make me stupid.

“Pretty much the same,” I said, “except I won’t even pretend that I ran here.”

He laughed. “I’m assuming you still only run when something is chasing you?”

“Yep.” I motioned at my ankle-length skirt and sandals. “What gave me away?”

His gaze broke away from mine to track the movement of my hands, lingering on every part of my body before he lifted it back to my face. “It’s the loose hair. No one would go for a jog without putting it up.”

“Ah. Smart.” I giggled.

Giggled! Like I’m some kind of lovestruck teenager again. Whoop-de-doo, Basil. Now I’m not only stupid, I’m regressing.

“You still have an answer for everything, huh?” I said once I’d gotten over my mental hiccup.

“I have to. I’m at school, aren’t I? I might get called on for answers by a teacher.” He tapped his fingers against the side of his mouth before snapping them together. “Oh, right. I already am getting called on by a teacher. You’re a teacher now, so it counts.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Shifting back in my seat to put some distance between us before the giggling and stupidity could really take root and make me do something I’d regret—like flirt with him—I glanced at the school buildings across the field before I looked at him again. “If we’re going with me being the teacher and calling on you for answers, there is one I’ve always wanted.”

“Just one?” He grinned and waved a hand to show me to continue. “You can ask me anything, but you already knew that.”

Okay, then. “I never understood why you decided to come here instead of going to some fancy private school.”

In the years after Selena’s talk to me, I’d often wondered why she hadn’t sent him off to some exclusive boarding school if she hadn’t wanted him to get too close to all of us ordinary people.

Tristin’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but at least he answered me honestly.

“It was because of my grandfather. God rest his soul,” he said. “He insisted that both my dad and I go to public school because he felt like it builds character and would let us understand how the other half lives.”

The lightest flush spread across the tops of his cheeks as he closed his eyes. “Fuck. That came out wrong. I don’t mean it in a bad, snobby way. He just didn’t want the money going to our heads. He built the company from the ground up, and he was a real salt-of-the-earth kind of guy.”

“I remember the stories you used to tell me about him.” Without thinking, I reached out and squeezed his forearm. “For the record, I knew you didn’t mean it in a snobby way. You’ve never been like that. Wasn’t your grandfather also an Air Force guy?”

When his eyes opened again, they darted down toward where my hand still lay on his arm. I withdrew it immediately, but I could still feel the heat of his skin on my palm. He remained focused on that spot before he gave his head a quick shake.

“Yeah, he was. It was during the Korean War,” he said. “It’s one of the reasons I enlisted. Growing up hearing about his time in the service shaped me in a lot of ways. I just didn’t realize how much until I was actually there.”

“Thank you for telling me,” I said quietly after hesitating for a second, then cleared my throat and stared out over the field again. “It’s good to know that you didn’t regret your decision to go. I’ve often wondered about it. It all happened so fast.”

So fast that I hadn’t been able to process it for a long time after. One weekend, Tristin and I had been happy and planning our lives together, and by the next, we’d been broken up, he’d enlisted, and we hadn’t talked again until the fundraiser.

Then again, as I sat there talking to the man I’d once thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, I felt—for the first time—that I’d done right by him. Our breakup might not have had much to do with what either of us had wanted, but I could see how much his time in the Air Force had meant to him. Hear it in his voice when he talked about it.

We might not have wanted to break up, but it turned out his mother had been right. I would’ve been holding him back if I hadn’t done it. After so many years of wondering and regret, I finally had my answer. I’d done the right darn thing.

It felt good to finally know for sure that I hadn’t screwed up royally in our past. It also felt good to have him back, even if it was just casually running into him every now and then. Too good really, but I didn’t care much. I was just happy to be learning more about him and who he had grown up to be.