The Degradation of Shelby Ann by Emma Cole
Chapter One
Shelby
"Shelby Ann! Don't you go out that door, you hear me?” Mama’s shout followed me down the staircase. I was angry. I mean, I was a damn adult, but she still tried to run my life. Her tirade continued, her voice reaching a shrill decibel that used to mean I’d better mind my p’s and q’s, as I stalked across the old black-and-white-checkered linoleum that denoted our entryway.
“You won't come back to my house if you leave with that man! Shelby Ann, do you hear me? Don’t you come back here!”
I barely glanced back at the shadowed silhouette of my mother where she stood on the landing of the stairs. Without slowing, I passed the thick wooden and whitewashed door that stood ajar, letting in the evening breeze, to shove the matching screen door open. Even as it harshly clacked back into the jamb, swollen from the humid summer heat and its multiple coats of divot-marked paint, I still ignored her rant.
With my purse slung over my shoulder, I rushed to the end of my more-dirt-than-gravel driveway, to the black sports car idling on the street near our rusted mailbox with overgrown weeds brushing the bottom of it. I could still hear Mama yelling after me. She’d been downright ornery about me dating Dirk since she found out right after graduation, and I was worried that she might be serious this time. Seemed she was determined to think that he was just taking advantage of me and didn't want me to end up pregnant and alone like she had been.
Thankfully, Mama’s warnings were pushed right out of my head as I made eye contact with the sleek and refined man sitting behind the wheel of the pretty little two-seater with its three-spoked emblem. When I slid into the passenger seat and he instantly pulled me to him over the gap in the middle, my smile could only have been eclipsed by the sun. My infatuation, bordering on obsession, was fed by the hand twisted in the hair at my nape and the swift press of lips on mine. I could never get enough of this man. It didn’t matter to me, or him, that he was twelve years my senior and a wealthy businessman. People would talk, he'd warned me when I agreed to go away to the city with him this weekend.
Despite the many warnings from my mother, he'd never pressured me to do anything with him, and had actually put a halt to any further relations in the one instance we'd done more than share a kiss. Admittedly, he was one of Savannah's most eligible bachelors and I worried that the disparity between our stations would eventually force us to part ways. He frequently appeared in the papers with a never-ending montage of Southern belle socialites, and I dreaded the day that he would eventually pick one to be his wife. I wasn't sure my heart could handle reading the engagement announcement for the soon-to-be Mrs. Winston Hamilton III. Hence my obsessive need to be in his presence as often as possible.
When we sat back in our respective seats, Dirk returned my welcoming smile before reaching over to fasten my seatbelt for me. He was always doing sweet, thoughtful things like that. Before he straightened, he planted another chaste kiss on my cheek. Feeling bold, I grabbed him and planted one on his lips in return.
He chuckled at my action, the deep and rich sound sinking into my skin, eliciting a full-body shiver. “Well, aren’t you feeling frisky today, Shelby Ann.” The heat in his eyes belied the teasing tone, and I briefly thought of begging off whatever plans he had for tonight to just find a place to be alone.
“I just can't help myself, Dirk. You’re always in my thoughts. If I’m not with you, I want to know what you’re doing, if you’re thinking of me, how long it will be until I can see you again…” I trailed off at his smirk. I didn’t want him to think I was desperate, especially if Mama had been serious this time and I might not have a place to live. Embarrassed, I finger combed my auburn hair back into some semblance of order.
“Be patient, my darling Shelby, and know that you are always in my thoughts. You took up residence inside my head the moment we met.” He settled back, turning his attention to the road, and put the car into gear before pulling out into the empty lane. “Be patient with me for just a little bit longer. I think you’ll like what I have planned for us tonight.” His words were cryptic, secretive, and no matter how many times I asked on the drive, he refused to tell me what I wanted to know.
* * *
We pulled up to the curb at the Three Oaks Hotel, a swanky old-money hotel that catered to Savannah’s elite. Even I had heard of this place. Weddings and other events held in their enormous ballroom were regularly featured in the Gazette. My wide eyes locked onto Dirk’s amused ones as panic coursed through me. I wasn’t dressed to be going to a fancy hotel. If we were going to the restaurant here, I was going to embarrass us both... if they even let me in. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that, but surely he knew. Unless Mama was right, and he was about to show me his true colors by dumping me on the spot then stranding me to find my own way home.
There was no chance to find my tongue to ask before an attendant opened my door to help me out. I watched in petrified silence as a valet took Dirk’s keys and drove off with the car, only vaguely noticing when Dirk took my elbow. But I didn’t move from my spot until he squeezed slightly to get my attention, his sharp tone snapping me out of my daze. “Shelby! What’s wrong?”
I searched his gaze for any ill intent, feeling silly and embarrassed that I’d believed even for a second that he would do something so cruel when I could only find concern and patience in his ice blue eyes. “I-I don’t...um...shoot, I didn’t know we were going anywhere fancy,” I finally got out, looking down at my sneakers. Dirk wasn’t dressed in a suit, but he was in nice black slacks and a button down. It set off his pale skin and highlighted the black stubble on his chin and cheeks that matched his brows and clean-cut locks. Much better than my jeans and cami with a cute sheet bell-shaped sheer top over it. I knew I should have worn a skirt, but I hadn’t wanted to seem too eager.
He looked at the hotel entrance, where the doorman was obviously paying attention while waiting patiently for us, and prompted me with a tug on my elbow. Leaning in close, he whispered in my ear, “Trust me, darling. I’ll explain inside, just trust me a little longer.”
My head was nodding before I’d even consciously decided to agree, and his face lit up in response. I couldn’t help but return it as he turned me toward the entrance. The doorman wore a pleasantly blank expression that I was grateful for, and even though Dirk still had my elbow, I did my best to keep a half step behind him without making it too awkward. Just because I’d decided to trust in him, didn’t mean that I was any more comfortable being in the swanky hotel.
Soon enough, we were done at the front desk without a hiccup then on our way in the elevator where the liftman studiously ignored us after inquiring about our floor. I assumed it was to give us some semblance of privacy, but when the doors parted, he exited and held his arm out with a flourish, tipping his hat as we passed. Maybe it was just part of his job description to remain in the background until duty called. I couldn’t help my giggle, earning a wink from the man when I glanced back to give him a nod. The laughter helped settle my anxiety as we walked down the royal blue carpeted hallway with its golden fleur-de-lis pattern—until I saw Dirk’s face when we paused at the card reader for our room. His lips were set in a stern line, eyes tight and crinkled at the corners.
“Did I do something wrong?” I whispered. He’d never been mad at me before, and I didn’t care for the lump that settled in the pit of my stomach.
Seeming to pick up on my distress, he shook his head. “Not exactly. I didn’t like the attendant flirting with you—or you giving him attention.”
My eyes widened with shock. He was jealous. He’d always been so self-assured, it never occurred to me. His possessiveness turned that lump into a flock of butterflies, and I gave in to an impulsive desire, lifting up to peck his cheek.
“You’re the one I want, Mr. Hamilton, the only one.” My voice was quiet, so as not to carry down the hall, but loud enough he could clearly understand me.
He swiped the card without replying, pulling me in once it beeped and he opened the door. I didn’t even have a chance to glimpse the room; Dirk had me up against the wall, hands cupping my ass, before the door clicked shut. He lifted me up, letting me wrap my legs around his middle, and ground his hips into mine while he fused our lips in a hard kiss. He only retreated enough to dip his head and trace the tip of his tongue up my neck before demanding entrance when he reached my mouth again. The wet heat on my skin cooled even as I surrendered to the onslaught.
Our tongues tangled, dueling for supremacy, but Dirk had no intention of letting me dominate any aspect of our encounter. A hand slid up my side, no longer needed to support me with my hips pinned to the wall by his, to tangle in my long hair and pull my head back for better access. Dirk’s lips left mine to pepper kisses down my jaw, turning into nips that had me panting with desire. He let out a groan when he reached my clavicle, biting down firmly before freezing in place. As the burn of his teeth in my skin began to become uncomfortable, he released me, following up with a swirl of his tongue to soothe the abused flesh, before he inched back to let my legs slip to the floor. His head remained bowed and his eyes closed until he took a breath and stepped away from me.
I didn’t understand why he’d abruptly stopped; him running so hot and cold on me had my anxiety ramping up again. Until he opened his eyes, their pale depths blazing with heat and a frightening hint of predatory intent. This was not my mild-mannered, attentive boyfriend, but the sleek jungle cat baiting its prey, daring it to attempt an escape so it could give chase.
Some instinct had my body loosening, relaxing into the textured wall behind me, palms flat against it and my head tipping back to expose my throat. Dirk’s pupils expanded, and his breath became audible with the rapid rise and fall of his chest. I wasn’t sure what would have happened had a buzzing not come from his trouser pocket. The interruption jolted him into action, the charming, affable mien falling back into place as he reached one hand into his pants to retrieve his phone. The other began to trace a finger over the indents left behind on my collarbone before he turned away to take the call. I briefly fingered the marks he’d left behind, wondering what had gotten into him, but I couldn’t say that I minded.
In an attempt to give him privacy, I explored the suite, taking in the splendor that the upper echelon of society took as its due. The cream-colored walls and plush gray carpeting filled the space, and fluted sconces graced the walls, lending an intimate atmosphere with their ambient lighting.
There was a sitting area, featuring matching pale furniture and highly polished, delicate-legged tables on the ends, with an alcove separated by a partial wall that held a desk with a laptop open on it. That was where Dirk had wandered off to, now tapping the touchpad to wake the machine up. It made me wonder how long he’d been staying here, but when I examined my surroundings more closely, I couldn’t detect the lived-in feel that should be present if he was indeed using the suite as a residence.
Or maybe housekeeping is just that good,a voice interjected. It was the one I ignored, or tried to, when it told me Dirk and I wouldn't last, that this was only a fling, a novel distraction. It was the one that came out when I got nervous or worried.
Stop it! Go away! My demand didn't always work, but I tried hard to stamp out that part of me.
After taking a few breaths to recenter myself, my piqued curiosity led me to open doors, finding a coat closet that stood empty other than a few wooden hangers and a black and white umbrella.
Another door led to a half-bath, the white porcelain toilet and sink offset by black tiles, all pristinely clean. There were two other doors on opposite sides of the room, the one on the right leading to an opulent bedroom done in navy with the same carpeting as the main area. Heavy brocade curtains and a king-sized bed with matching nightstands took up the majority of the space. A closet—nearly a walk-in—was filled with suits, polished shoes, ties, a few other casual items, and a suitcase set stored on the shelves above.
Confused about why it appeared he really might be living here, I closed the door to open the other, my eyes immediately rounding in surprise. The bathroom was a study of decadence, with a sunken tub done in tile, a shower stall next to it, and an honest to God water closet for the toilet. The vanity with the sink was nearly overshadowed by a gargantuan mirror whose reflective surface encompassed the entire room. I was sure I’d never been jealous of a man’s bathroom, but I was already trying to come up with a reason to play in that tub like a kid eager to run into the little waves their first time at the beach.
Reluctantly, I left the bathroom of my fantasies to check out the last door. At the click of the latch, Dirk glanced up from his chair to give me an absent grin, more a quick quirk of his lips, before returning to his task. I took that as my go ahead to keep exploring, although it hadn’t crossed my mind that I was intruding. At least not until I felt he gave his permission. I frowned at the thought but lost it when the door opened onto another bedroom, this one done just as fabulously as the other, but in mauve instead of the dark navy. I didn’t even bother with the closet, heading straight for the door that mirrored the set-up of the other. And yes, there was a near replica of the same bathroom. My squeal of excitement couldn’t be contained. The room had to be for me.
Right?Fuck, I hoped so. I’d be devastated to stay here and not get the opportunity to play in the tub, but to find out someone else was staying here? I’d hurt him. No question about it. I ignored the little voice that whispered that he was using me for a good time.
Intent to discover if he had company at this swanky hotel, I went to the closet and yanked it open, only to find a single dress with matching underthings next to it on a hanger. I snatched my reaching hand back at the voice behind me.
“Do you like it? I tried to describe what I thought you’d want to the shop attendant.”
I spun on a heel to face Dirk with wide eyes. “This is for me?”
At his nod, I turned back to the closet, pulling the dress out to walk it over to the bed. It was a little black dress only in the manner of its color and length. The rest was all gothic Victorian lace meets seventies simplicity. An inner lining of what I thought to be black silk, overlayed with soft lace, started with a high neckline that would sit midway up my throat, went down to a sleeveless, fitted empire bodice, then it transitioned into a bell shape that would float around me down to my thighs. I wasn’t sure it was me, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Giving Dirk a shy smile, I spoke even while that voice told me the dress was proof he didn't want me as I was.
“It’s lovely, thank you." Unsure whether to go to him for a more personal thanks or stay where I was after earlier’s odd interlude, I let my gaze drift to the floor, shoulders stiff with awkwardness. Several nonsensical sounds escaped my mouth in an attempt to vocalize my predicament. Face flaming with embarrassment, my eyes widened as Dirk's shined shoes came into my field of vision. With a crooked finger, he reached out to put pressure under my chin, and I reluctantly allowed him to draw my face and gaze up to his.
"Shelby, darling, what's going on? If you don't care for the dress, I can have something else more to your liking brought up." Concern in his voice matched the emotion in his eyes. The voice insisted his offer was a test. Balling my hands into fists, I ignored that damn voice and forced the words past the constriction in my throat.
"It's beautiful, Dirk. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, and..." I took a deep breath and allowed my eyes to flutter closed. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing the pity I feared was coming, but the room and the employees and everything back home just compiled into one plain truth. I was out of my element and just not good enough to be with the man—no matter how badly I wanted him. The voice, sounding more and more like Mama, hissed that I didn't meet his standards.
In a husky whisper, my shame came out in all its tawdry glory. "Mama wasn't happy about me leaving with you. Well, she hasn’t been happy about me dating you at all. I think she might have meant it tonight when she told me not to come back." My voice cracked on the last bit, making my mortification complete.
I pulled my chin away, stepping back to steel myself for whatever was coming. My mind screamed that I was making a mistake. No man wanted this kind of baggage on a date. The thought never entered my mind that he cared enough to want to fix my problems, not this early in a relationship anyway.
"Why didn't you say something sooner? We don't have to go out tonight. Do you need to make arrangements to pack your belongings?"
I wanted to fall through the floor and disappear, regardless of the fact that it would decimate the small amount of savings I had to get back to my little town. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet," I hedged. There was no way I could tell him that I was essentially homeless if Mama wouldn't let me go back. Headstrong and impulsive decisions had always been the bane of my life, getting me into countless hours of trouble. "Can we just pretend I never said anything and continue with our weekend?"
At first, Dirk seemed displeased with my answer and subsequent request, but his expression cleared with a nod before he continued on as if nothing was wrong. “Of course, darling, whatever you’d like.” I waited for more, but he just looked from me to the dress expectantly. “Are you going to try it on?”
Flushing, I stammered out, “Of-of course.” I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, waiting for him to leave, but this time he didn’t. He stood there and stared, almost clinically, as my white-knuckled hands gripped the material and inched it up my body to expose my slim but lightly toned midriff.
When I realized he really wasn’t leaving, I tore it off and thanked goodness my bra was at least pretty, even if it had been a clearance buy. My actions were a bit slow and jerky as my shoes and then pants came off. I wasn’t quite brave enough to shuck my underwear off in front of him yet, and my self-consciousness was clear in my rounded shoulders and crossed arms.
Dirk eyed me up and down, from my unpainted toes all the way up to my uncertain gaze peeking up at him from beneath lowered lashes. I hoped he didn’t care that I didn’t have the polish of his usual conquests. Slowly, I gathered my courage to straighten my back and hold my chin high, ignoring the nagging in my head that I couldn't measure up.
A flare of desire lit Dirk’s icy gaze, and he seemed to shake himself from some internal debate before he made a move for the door.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed then. Yell if you need me.”
A moment later, he was gone with the quiet click of the door latching behind him. For a moment, I’d been sure he would let his proper and rigid demeanor slip and suggest we stay in bed instead of going to dinner. A sigh escaped my lips as I retrieved the soft lacy undergarments from the closet—I needed to get my head on straight before my imagination and insecurity ruined my relationship. Just because the man was reserved and circumspect didn’t mean he didn’t care or wasn’t interested.