The Clone’s Mate by Susan Trombley
Twenty-Three
“We might die,” I said to Subject 34, proud of myself for keeping the absolute terror I felt from choking off my voice.
34 cupped my face with one of his lower hands, but he didn’t offer any verbal reassurance. In a way, I appreciated that. He wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t pretend we weren’t in dire straits.
“Even if those satellites don’t shoot us down,” I said in a whisper, “I think Ilyan’s fracture is in control of him. He will probably kill us.”
Subject 34 chittered in a way I’d come to recognize as his version of a chuckle. My lover wasn’t often amused enough to show it, but he apparently found this funny. His other lower hand wrapped around my waist, tugging me against his hard body even though it was a tight fit in this small med bay.
“I’m serious, 34!” I hugged him around his waist, keeping my arms away from his silver marks. “I’m scared!”
We’d already taken off, so it was too late to escape now. The shuttle engines barely made a sound as they vibrated the floor beneath my feet. I had waited in breathless silence while we ascended in what I assumed to be a rapid enough pace to create some g-forces, but I felt nothing in the way of inertia. The only way I knew we were accelerating was by the increase of vibration coming through the floor. The technology left me impressed, I had to admit.
“34 protect Ronda.” One of his upper hands stroked my hair soothingly, while the other smoothed over my back.
“I don’t think even you can protect me from a satellite missile.” I sighed heavily and leaned my cheek against the hard chitin plates of his chest. “I hope whoever Ilyan is right now, he can manage to get us through that obstacle. I really don’t want to blow up today. Come to think of it, there isn’t any day where I want to blow up. It’s kind of a quirk of mine that I’d rather remain in one piece.”
“Ronda trust green guy. 34 trust Ronda.”
I snuggled into his arms, enjoying the cool, smooth feel of his chitin beneath my cheek. “I love you, 34. You make me feel safe, even when we’re probably going to be smithereens in a few minutes.”
“Love?” Given the confusion I sensed in his tone, I thought back over our time together and realized I hadn’t told him I loved him yet.
I lifted my head to look up into his face, smiling when I saw that his faceted eye shields had retracted to show me his beautiful dark eyes. “Yeah. I love you, 34. If we have to die today, then there’s no place I’d rather do it than in your arms.”
He stroked his claws through my hair. “What love mean?”
I cocked my head, pondering the best way to explain it. “There’s no, uh, translation for it in that head of yours?”
His mandibles retracted to show his lips in their usual firm and impassive line, but his brows drew together in thought as his eyes grew distant. He was clearly searching for the meaning his translator gave to the word.
“Means mating?” he asked, his frown of confusion deepening.
“Ugh!” I rolled my eyes. “Of course, these Iriduans probably don’t think of love the way we humans do.” I patted his chest, where a human heart would be, but come to think of it, I’d never actually heard his heartbeat, so I had no idea what was under all that natural armor plating that covered his body.
Well, I knew what was under one part of it, but now was not the best time to think about that. I wasn’t feeling sexy, nor hungry.
“Love for a human is like….” The words didn’t come for me, at least not easily. I had to really strain to find them, because explaining love was difficult even to another human.
I knew Subject 34 felt some affection for me. He was protective of me. He seemed to want to spend all his time in my company. He listened to me as if he found what I had to say interesting. He showed me respect and didn’t condescend to me, even when he was so much stronger and more capable of dealing with our circumstances than I was. And each moment I spent with him seemed to change him until he evolved from cold and ruthless to caring and thoughtful.
“Love is inspiration, and devotion, and dedication. Love is caring more about someone else’s happiness than your own. Love is sometimes sacrifice and pain, but it also makes you feel like you can stand atop the world and reach for the moon and stars. Love is… everything. It is the real purpose and meaning in life.” I stared up at him, still struggling to explain what most humans just knew instinctively. “You can love many people in your life, in different ways. It’s not all just ‘mating’. Parents love their children,” I sighed, “and sometimes they know how to show it, and children love their parents. And brothers love their brothers, and sisters love their sisters, and friends love each other. It’s just… the whole point of everything. To find love. To cultivate it. To hold onto it. To cherish it.”
I finally had to shrug, unable to think of another way to explain it. “Love is what makes life worth living, 34.”
“Love is Ronda.” He stroked my hair away from my face, lowering his lips to mine.
His kiss took my breath away and distracted me enough that I forgot the danger we faced, the possibility of blowing up within minutes.
Did this alien male of mine just say I made his life worth living?
I sank into his embrace, allowing him to keep me occupied so I also forgot the uncertainty of our ally. I was even able to push aside my concern for the Iriduan laying in the healing tank next to us, the extent of his injuries shielded from my eyes, but not from my memory.
“You will be happy to know that we are still alive,” Ilyan said wryly, his voice startlingly loud as it blared from a hidden speaker overhead. “If you manage to detach yourself from the test subject long enough to look at an outer view screen, you’ll see that we’ve passed the defensive satellite array.”
At the sound of Ilyan’s voice I broke away from 34’s kiss, sucking in a deep breath, my head spinning from the headiness of his aroused pheromones. If there had been more room in this med-bay, I probably would have climbed him like a tree and begged him to strip me naked and bury himself inside me. Healing tank notwithstanding. Sure, I would have felt bad about it later, but it was difficult to think straight when 34 got his mojo juice flowing.
“His name is 34,” I said, licking my swollen lips as I watched the minor flash of irritation cross Subject 34’s face.
He was definitely learning how to use his facial muscles.
“His name is irrelevant to me,” Ilyan snapped over the speaker. “What I need to know is where, exactly, you plan to go now?”
I blinked, startled at the question. And then even more startled at the realization that I couldn’t think of where to go now that we’d actually managed to escape. “Uh… why is it up to me, again?”
The speaker crackled like someone smacked it. Or probably hit the microphone on the other side of it. Maybe while in the midst of lifting their hands to rub their temples. I could just picture Ilyan rubbing his head as if it ached.
“We are all outlaws, or targets of the Iriduan empire,” Ilyan finally said with a long-suffering sigh, “and the only thing currently unifying us is you. So, you decide where we go now.”
This revelation bought another couple of rapid blinks from me. I shifted my gaze from Subject 34’s now impassive face to the speaker. “Wait, I’m unifying us?” I shook my head. “Don’t make me the leader! I don’t want that kind of responsibility!”
A bitter chuckle rose from the speaker. “You’re the queen. You decide where we go. It’s a male’s job to follow his queen, or have you learned nothing about our species in all your time being our captive.”
“Whoa, whoa!” I held up both hands, glancing quickly at Subject 34 before returning my attention to the speaker I couldn’t actually see. Perhaps I should be looking towards the door to the corridor outside the med-bay. “What’s with this ‘queen’ crap? You’re not my ‘males’!”
I quickly hugged Subject 34’s waist as I amended that. “Except for 34, of course!”
“Then you will abandon Nirgal and I?” Ilyan asked with a tone to his voice that I couldn’t interpret.
I wasn’t sure anymore who controlled Ilyan’s body at the moment. Him or his fracture. He’d seemed to imply that his fracture was the one in charge with his parting words to me earlier, but at the same time, there hadn’t been that telltale coldness in his eyes before he’d turned away from me to enter the control room of the shuttle.
“No!” I glanced at the healing tank. “Of course not. I’m not saying I’m going to leave any of you behind. I’m just saying that neither of you belong to me. I mean,” I spun my hand as I searched for the words to explain myself, “you know, like, as a lover or mate or boyfriend or anything romantic.”
I suddenly worried that I was misinterpreting his words and maybe reading too much into what he was saying. Maybe he hadn’t been talking about that kind of thing at all, and now I’d made things really awkward by assuming that.
He didn’t respond to that, and his prolonged silence made me babble nervously. “I mean, I know about the whole ‘imprinting’ thing, sorta.”
I still didn’t really get it. Like how it all worked, or what exactly happened when a male imprinted on a female, but I could tell even when Nirgal talked about it that it was pretty intense and life-altering for Iriduans.
“But I thought you were cured of that, like Subject 34.”
The door to the med bay slid open, and I jumped a little in 34’s embrace when I saw Ilyan standing on the other side of it. He had found a jumpsuit somewhere in that control room because he was now dressed, but he still looked like he’d been dragged by his hair and starved and beaten.
34’s stingers extended, hovering between me and Ilyan, and he shifted his body so he blocked me if Ilyan chose to attack.
“I am cured of my affliction,” Ilyan said, his green gaze intent on me, not cold and remote but also not kind or affectionate. “But apparently, I am still prone to the influence of a female.”
“Oh,” I slowly nodded, understanding now. “You know, that’s a common thing to happen when people go through tough times together. They tend to form a bond, but once we’re out of danger, you’ll meet some nice… uh… space fairy woman and fall in love—”
He scowled, looking less than friendly, but again, not cold or cruel or murder-y. “Your ignorance of my species shows in almost everything you say.”
“Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” I snapped as Subject 34 chittered angrily at Ilyan. “Listen, if this is your way of flirting with me, you need some serious practice.”
“And how, exactly, would I get that?” Ilyan asked with bitterness sharpening his tone. “I wasn’t trained to be a mate to a queen. I was trained to be a scientist.” He gestured to Subject 34. “And yet again, I find myself bound to a human female who has chosen a test subject over me!”
“34 isn’t just some test subject!” I said angrily, though I also felt a guilty thrill that Ilyan was confirming he had some romantic interest in me. I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, but I couldn’t help it.
I’d bet green guy cleaned up nice. I hugged Subject 34 a little closer, reminding myself firmly that he was the only alien I needed in my life.
“If he’s not a just a test subject,” Ilyan said with a sneer as his gaze raked Subject 34 from head to toe, much to 34’s complete disinterest in his regard, “then why doesn’t he have a name?”
I lifted my chin. “He likes the name 34. So he does have a name!”
“He took the name you gave him because he doesn’t care,” Ilyan shouted, causing Subject 34’s stingers to dart in his direction so he took several steps away, ending up standing out in the corridor. “You are the one creating his personality! He thought of nothing but hunting and killing before you. Any loyalty or compassion or devotion he shows you reflects what you’ve shown him. Don’t you see that?” He glared at Subject 34. “He was not intended to claim a mate!”
“And you weren’t trained to be very nice to women, apparently!” I snapped, patting 34’s chest chitin reassuringly, though he seemed unfazed by Ilyan’s rudeness. “But at least Subject 34 can learn how to love! What about you, huh?”
“Give me a chance and I’ll show you,” he said in a low voice, his eyes unreadable now, but not carrying that hard, ruthless look I’d come to associate with the bad side of him.
I shivered a little at the promise underlying his tone, and it wasn’t with fear. I sucked in a ragged breath, turning my face so I wasn’t looking at him any longer. I stared instead at 34’s chitin plates, stroking my fingers over them.
“I’m already in love with someone, Ilyan. I’m sorry, but I’m sure once we get things figured out—”
“Athraxius,” Ilyan said in a hard tone, “do you care if your woman takes other mates in the custom of the Iriduans?”
When Subject 34 chittered at me I glanced up at his face in surprise. There was a questioning tone in that sound.
“Want what Ronda want,” he said when Ilyan and I waited in silence for his response.
Ilyan gestured to him with a triumphant wave of his hand. “Do you see, woman? He only wants your happiness because it is all that gives him meaning and purpose. Given that evidence, it seems that Nirgal and his team failed, yet again, to strip the worst traits from our genome before splicing them into Subject 34.”
I shook my head, denying his words even while taking great comfort from them and no small amount of pleasure at the idea that Subject 34 was so devoted to me. After what Michael did to me, I was left believing no one would want an aging, never-been artist-slash-store manager. Now, I had two alien males who wanted to be with me, and even though I knew that something in their biology made them feel that way, rather than my own desirability, it was a heady experience.
“I thought both of you were cured,” I insisted, still unable to trust that Ilyan—who had cheekbones and a jawline to die for and the sensual lips of a male model—was interested in not only taking me as his mate but would be willing to share me with another male.
It was so strange and felt so forbidden to even consider such a relationship. I knew there were some humans who engaged in that kind of lifestyle, but it had been so far out of my experience that I’d never dreamed it would happen to me.
Or that I would choose it. I hadn’t even been able to keep one man happy until “death do us part”. What was I thinking by even considering juggling two of them?
Ilyan responded to my comment by stepping cautiously back into the med-bay, eyeing Subject 34’s extended stingers. He paused just inside the door, since there really wasn’t room for him to step any further into the room. Then he tapped the healing tank.
That action brought up a holographic panel that appeared solid even though it floated in the air above the tank, rather than flickering and translucent like those kinds of things always were in the sci fi movies.
“The cure,” he said, his gaze scanning the screen, “removes the biological requirement for a specific female based on her scent signature.” He tapped on the holographic display, his finger passing through it.
A new “window” opened on the screen, showing a strange fractal looking crystal thing, flashing lights along all its spears.
“Nirgal was injected with the nanites recently,” Ilyan said. “Some are still active, but I suspect their work will be complete soon, despite his current condition.” He shook his head. “It is a pity they deactivate and dissolve after rewriting the affected genetic code of an imprinted male. I doubt I would be able to draw a stable sample to study them. More’s the pity.”
I held up a hand like I was in biology class, knowing I had a test coming up but completely clueless about what the hell the teacher was talking about. “So you’re not imprinted on me?”
His eyes shifted back to me, then lifted to meet Subject 34’s steady stare, his handsome features pulling into an irritated scowl. He returned his gaze to me.
“I am not biologically imprinted on you.” He studied me as if he were seeing me for the first time, despite having been in the cage beside me for weeks. “However, it appears I have emotionally imprinted on you, because I do not like the idea of being separated from you.” He shot another glance at Subject 34. “Nor do I like the idea of losing you to another male.” He curled his hands into fists, stepping back into the corridor as he glared at me like all this was my fault.
“I do not like this feeling,” he growled.
Then his body stiffened, his eyes closing briefly.
Subject 34 also stiffened, chitter-growling as he moved me further behind him until I was wedged between him and the tank, the bulk of his body blocking mine from Ilyan’s view. I peered around 34’s massive body and met the eyes of the green male.
“Shit,” I muttered eloquently. “What did you do to Ilyan?”
The fractured part of the Iriduan chuckled darkly, a smirk tilting his shapely lips. I hated to admit that he still looked damned attractive like that. In fact, maybe that mocking expression made him a little more attractive. Edgy. Dangerous.
I’d never expected to find that type appealing.
“Ilyan’s mind is very strong,” the fracture said. “It is a struggle to take control, and I must admit that I rarely succeed. It is only when he wants to retreat into the shadows that I have free reign.”
“Well, that’s just rude,” I snapped, hiding my fear of the fracture behind my sharp tone. “We were in the middle of a conversation! How’s he just gonna duck out like that?”
Ilyan’s fracture made a hmph sound that dripped with arrogance as his chin lifted. His chilly gaze left me to regard Subject 34 thoughtfully, shifting from his face, which was now covered, telling me 34 was on guard, to his extended stingers that hovered in the air between the two males.
“I wouldn’t try anything foolish,” I said smugly, stroking my fingers along the length of one of 34’s extended stingers.
He rewarded me with a chittering sound, but his stinger didn’t waver.
The fracture chuckled again. “Does he know how to pilot a shuttle?” He cocked his head, returning his scathing gaze to me. “Do you?”
Ooh, he got me there. “Well, I’d rather one of us try than have you pilot us into a colony. Or an asteroid.”
Great comeback, me! Ha! More like potentially pushing button—or was I giving him ideas?
His mocking expression disappeared, his face going completely impassive, his lips a tight verdant line in a face that had eerily perfect male features. “I have reasons for everything I do.”
“Yeah, sure. Don’t we all.” I glanced at the healing tank, thinking about Nirgal and his constant insistence that all the terrible things he did were “for science!” “The question is whether your reasons are actually good enough to commit such terrible acts.”
“Who are you to decide that, Rhon-da?” He drew out my name sarcastically, condescension in his tone. “Or do you consider yourself the arbiter of morality? A human?” He scowled. “Don’t make me laugh at the painful irony.”
“Dude, you guys need to get over this human hate.” I tried to prop my hands on my hips, but it wasn’t happening in my wedged position. Instead, I cracked my elbows painfully on the wall penning me in close to 34 and the tank.
Evil Ilyan waved away my words. “This isn’t about humans. It’s about power, and the fact that every sapient species desires it, and we all will do anything we can to gain it. Humans are only one of many species always vying for more than what they already have. What makes your species so irritating is your smug sense of self-righteousness. It is rather hypocritical, don’t you think?”
“All right, we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on this one, Ilyan—or whatever you call yourself.”
“What makes you think I don’t go by the same name?” he asked in a neutral tone. “Do you think I am so far gone that I’ve lost my identity?”
I sighed. “Look, I don’t want to be at odds with you. This is a small ship. I’m super tired, and Subject 34 had to perform brain surgery on himself, so I doubt he’s feeling chipper at the moment either. Can we table this whole philosophical discussion for another time? Like maybe never?” I narrowed my eyes on Evil Ilyan. “Just, you know, don’t kill us, and I think we can all get along until we decide what to do with our lives.”
“You are a very odd human,” Evil Ilyan said with short laugh that I suspected held more exasperation than amusement.
I stroked my fingers along Subject 34’s stinger again, smiling up at my dangerous mate, his face concealed behind his chitin eye shields and mandibles. “Yeah. I have my moments.”
