Unchosen Ruler by Maggie Cole

5

Liam

I'm notsure if I've ever felt giddy before, but I suddenly find myself a forty-year-old convicted felon who feels silly as a schoolgirl. My night with Hailee was perfect, except for my father's phone call. I hate leaving her, but I tear myself away and go.

I slide in the car with a smile plastered on my face. The interior still smells like her sugary scent. I lean my head back against the seat and close my eyes, replaying our ride to her apartment.

Jesus, that girl can kiss. She felt so good in my arms. Letting her go sucked, but maybe it's better this way. I'm not sure if we would have stopped, and I don't know what the rules for dating are anymore.

I meet my father at the building our family owns. It's an old warehouse on the outskirts of town. Many things take place here. Tonight, my father's called a meeting of the top men in the clan.

The happiness I feel fades as soon as I step inside. Dozens of men sit in chairs, including Nora's brothers. Niall and Shamus sit next to one another with nervous expressions on their faces.

My father motions for me to come to the front. When I'm next to him, he says, "It seems we have some thieves in our presence."

The room goes silent. Killian, Nolan, and Declan all send me a questioning look. They're still new to the O'Malley dealings. Our Nana made my father promise to keep them out of the business when I went to prison. Until their brother Sean was set up by the Baileys and killed by the Rossis, they took no part in our criminal activities. Sean's death changed everything. The night Killian went with the Ivanovs and took out Lorenzo Rossi and his thugs started the war. I supposed they might feel as overwhelmed or confused as I do at times. But when I look across the room, the only men I truly trust are them and my father.

"Liam discovered it. Since we know the rules, I'll step aside and let him determine what should happen."

My gut flips. Every time my father puts me on the spot, without any warning, I feel sick. I keep my scowl on my face and try not to show any surprise or weakness. In a loud, confident voice, I boom, "When a man steals from the O'Malleys, who do they take from?"

Every man in the room, including Niall and Shamus, yells out, "Our children."

"Yes. Shamus, tell me why we collect money. Does it all stay in my father's or my pocket?"

His jaw clenches. Red creeps into his cheeks. He barks out, "No. It gets split among the clan."

"Niall, what else do we do with the money?"

His hardened, brown eyes pierce into mine. He clears his throat. "We give it to members of our clan who are struggling."

"That's right. So when someone steals from us, it's not my father or me they cheat." I point around the room. "It's all of us. Your wives. Your children. Your blood."

Men shake their heads in disgust. A true O'Malley doesn't steal from the clan. Niall and Shamus married into the family. My father gave them roles based on trust. They've broken a sacred rule. My father said he's known they've been stealing for over two years. He could have dealt with this sooner, but everything he does, he thinks through. It's something I've worked on in prison with Finn. The value of me showing my power and role in this family is more significant right now than two years' worth of missed earnings.

"Raise your hand if you've accepted money from my father in the last year for a need your family had that was outside of your salary," I order.

About half the men in the room raise their hand, including Niall and Shamus.

Motherfuckers. Stealing and still coming to my father to take from our family members who needed it more.

"And who here got bonuses every quarter last year?"

The entire room raises their hands.

"Who sold something, or worked extra hours, or waited for their bonus instead of asking my father for money because you didn't want to take more from those in the clan who may need it more?"

Half the room raises their hand.

"Who is it?" my uncle Patrick, who trains Killian and anyone else who boxes, yells out.

The rest of the room erupts in the same shouts.

I put my arm in the air. "Quiet."

The room silences.

"The men responsible for this crime should step forward now, or your fate will be much worse." I cross my arms and glare in the direction of Niall and Shamus.

They stay seated, attempting not to look guilty, but it's all over their faces. If they weren't married to my cousins, they wouldn't have had such a high position in our family. They took the gift my father gave them and stomped all over it. They didn't honor our family, and now, the only way to make this right is to make sure they receive the consequences.

"Last chance," I say.

No one in the room moves. The rage I see on the faces of my family intensifies. The fear in Niall and Shamus grows, but they must still be holding on to hope that my father or I am too stupid to know what they've done.

I tap my fingers on my biceps, counting to ten in my head, giving them one last opportunity to come forward. If they do, they will live. It won't be pretty, but the clan will take some mercy on their lives. When I get to ten, they've secured their fate.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one in this room who feels ill we have thieves in our house. It gives me no pleasure to bring this forth to you. Niall and Shamus, your cowardice sealed your fate."

I don't need to say more. The men on the discipline committee jump out of their seats so fast, a few of their chairs fall. Niall and Shamus attempt to deny the allegations, but it's pointless.

The committee drags them into the next room. Over the next few hours, a blood bath occurs. Any O'Malley who has ever wanted to take a blow to them gets a chance. My father and I stand aside, watching things, never saying a word. Since I've already chosen Killian, Nolan, and Declan as my advisory team, they stand next to me with scowls on their faces. My father's team—my uncles—stands next to him or sits in chairs, too frail to be on their feet.

When morning comes, and there is no more life left in Niall and Shamus, our cleanup committee destroys any evidence the event ever occurred. They chop up their bodies and put them in a meat grinder. The disposal committee scatters their remains in Lake Michigan.

The clan will ensure their wives and children are taken care of. They may have profited from their thievery, but it's not their fault. The O'Malleys won't turn our backs on our blood.

When I finally get home, I shower and crawl into bed. I attempt to get the horror of the evening out of my head and return to the place I was when I left Hailee, but it's nearly impossible.

I try to call her. Nora's wedding is in a few days and I wanted to ask her at dinner to go with me, but I didn't get a chance. She doesn't answer. I remember she told me she had the day off work and was going to Nora's dress fitting. I finally send her a message.

Me: Hales, I was calling to see if you want to go to Nora's wedding with me. Call me.

A few minutes pass, and my palms sweat.

Hailee: Sure! I'd love to!

Yes!

Me: Great! I'll call you tonight.

I order two guys to pick up her chair at the flea market, and they come to the house to get the ticket. When they leave, my mom comes into the hallway and puts on her coat.

"I'm going to church. Will you go with me?" she asks again with hope in her eyes.

I sigh. "Mom, you need to stop asking me. There's no redemption for me."

She puts her hand on my arm. "Liam, Father Antonio assures me—"

"Enough, Mom!" I bark and instantly regret yelling at her when her face drops. I soften my tone. "Please, stop asking me. It's not going to happen."

She pats my arm and quietly leaves. Guilt fills me that I can't be the son she wants. And it's not just the fact I'm a felon. Last night's debacle only proves there's only one place I'm going and it's straight to Hell.

My phone rings and I answer it. "Hey, Nora."

She asks, "Where are you?"

"Home. My mom and dad went somewhere, thank God. My mom is driving me insane. I need to get my own place," I admit. I'm grateful I have a place to stay, but I need to sort my life out.

"I'm two minutes away. Can you come with me somewhere?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"I have a surprise for you."

I grunt. Surprises aren't my thing since going to prison. The last thing you wanted was to not know what someone was going to spring on you. "Should I be worried?"

She chirps, "No."

"Okay. I'll sit in nervous anticipation." We say our goodbyes and hang up. I wait for her with my stomach flipping. It shouldn't. Nora would never do anything bad to me, but old experiences are hard to forget.

As soon as her driver pulls into the driveway, I go outside. I slide in next to her and ask, "What's going on?"

"You'll see."

The car pulls out, and my nerves stay awake. The driver parks outside a bungalow not far from my parents'. I glance out the window. "Who lives here?"

Nora beams. "You'll see. Get out."

I chuckle. It's nice to spend time with her, especially since I don't feel like we've returned to how things used to be between us. "Anyone tell you how bossy you've gotten?"

"I'm Irish and pregnant. Don't mess with me," she jokes.

I chuckle and we get out of the car and walk to the front door. She digs in her purse, pulls out the keys, then unlocks the door.

We step inside the empty house. Outdated floral wallpaper has yellowed in several areas. Old brown carpet is the same throughout the house, and the rooms are choppy instead of an open floor plan. The kitchen has oak cabinets that are in good condition but haven't been in style for twenty years. The laminate countertops and appliances could use an upgrade. She turns to me. "This is my house I used to live in before I moved in with Boris."

I scan the room. The bones are good and it just needs someone to knock out some walls to open it up and update it. "It's nice."

"It needs some work. My brothers kept bugging me to fix some things, but I kept blowing them off. I didn't know what I wanted to do with the design. It drove them nuts. I'm pretty sure you can utilize their skills and yours."

Confused, I ask, "What do you mean? Do you need to fix it up to sell it? It looks move-in ready to me. Unless something is going on that won't pass the inspection?"

She grabs my hand and places the key in it. "This is yours. If you want it."

Emotions overpower me, and I blink hard. I gape at her. It's the most generous offer on earth, but it's too much. As much as I want out of my parents', I don't want to take from Nora. I slowly say, "Nora, I can't take your house."

"You aren't taking it. I'm giving it to you," she insists.

I inhale sharply. "It's very kind of you, but I'm not taking your house. This is from your blood, sweat, and tears, not mine."

She acts like she didn't hear me. "The mortgage is paid off. Taxes are due twice a year and paid for the next twelve months as well as the insurance. I'll sign a quick claim deed tomorrow."

"Nora, I can't—"

"Liam, do you have somewhere else you're moving to?"

I say nothing and clench my jaw. I have no plans and don't even know how I'll get out of my parents' place. My father makes sure I have money, but I don't have a lump sum sitting in an account to buy a house, nor will I qualify for a mortgage with no work history. Plus, my father's money isn't exactly on a tax return.

She smirks. "Do you secretly love your mom nagging you all day long?"

I snort. "Nope."

She squeezes then releases my hand. "Good. Anna is a pretty amazing designer. I'm sure she'd whip up some awesome plans for you. My brothers will help you fix it up, and we've got accounts at the furniture places. Is there anything else you need that I'm forgetting?"

"Nora, it's too much," I claim, still stunned and touched she's offering me her house.

She tilts her head. "Do you know why I stopped calling you in prison?"

I snort hard and focus on the ceiling. Nora has always been the sister I never had. It hurt when our calls stopped. I attempt to keep any disappointment out of my voice. "I figured you were living your life."

"No. I didn't even know until today," she quietly claims.

I refocus on her, not understanding.

"I kept thinking Sean is dead whenever I thought about you, which didn't make sense because you were in prison. You didn't have anything to do with it. But I finally figured it out today."

I don't speak, wondering what she means.

She starts to cry, and my heart almost breaks. "It hurt. So bad. My father, Sean, Nana...I knew they weren't coming back. But you were alive, and I couldn't see you. Every day you were in hell, and there was nothing any of us could do to get you back. You were there because you did what we should have done...what I almost did, the night you shot him."

My chest tightens. "What do you mean?"

"I heard you and Killian talking. I knew what you were going to do. I took Daideó's gun. I sat in the parking lot, but I couldn't do it. I left and... it had to be only minutes before you got there. I should have been the one in prison, Liam, not you." She sobs.

I wrap my arms around her. "No. You should not have done what I did. I made the wrong decision. Not killing him but how I went about it. You used your head."

She glances up. "Take my house. I want you to have it. I saved it. I didn't know why. Boris said to sell it or keep it, and something told me not to sell it. I want you to have it."

"Nora—"

"Please. Tell me you'll take it."

I hesitate.

"Please," she begs.

I begin to cave. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. It will make me happy."

"Okay. Thank you." I hug her tighter and kiss the top of her head. I survey the room. "You know what's going to drive my mom crazy?"

"What?"

My grin widens. "Trying to figure out how to top this gift."

She laughs and wipes her face. "Yep."

"Seriously though. Thank you. This is beyond generous."

Her face falls, and she takes a deep breath. "There's something else I need to tell you."

A bad feeling replaces my joy. "What?"

"It might hurt you."

"I'm listening."

She hesitates.

"Tell me," I demand.

"Hailee researched you online last night. Kora is the one who responded to your text."

My heart sinks. I'm such an idiot. I forget how everything is all online nowadays. I should have come clean with Hailee at the start and not been a coward. "That's my fault. I wasn't sure how or when to tell her."

Sympathy fills Nora's face. "I'm sorry."

"Is she scared of me?"

"I'm not sure. Things got kind of heated. I think I might have gone a little Irish on them."

Despite my disappointment, my lips twitch. I can see Nora going a bit crazy. "Okay. Thanks for telling me."

She studies me.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"You really have changed, haven't you?"

I shrug. "There's only one thing I'm sure about anymore."

"What's that?"

"I'm never going back inside," I tell her, and I mean it. No matter what I do, I'm going to use my head.

We talk for a while longer and then leave. I thank her again before getting out of the car and going back inside my parents' house. I pace my bedroom, trying to figure out what to do about Hailee. Maybe it's the wrong move, but I finally decide talking face-to-face is the best thing, no matter my fate.

I have my driver drop me off at her apartment. Someone is walking out of the building, so I go directly to her unit. I knock on the door and wait.

Several minutes pass. I text her.

Me: Nora told me what happened. Will you open the door so we can talk? I'm not going to pressure you either way, but I owe you an explanation.

I wait another minute, and the door finally creaks open. A nervous expression fills Hailee's face. Her eyes are slightly red, and I hate myself even more.

I softly say, "Hey. Can I come in?"

She hesitates and finally steps back and opens the door more.

I restrain from touching her. I want to tug her into my arms and tell her how sorry I am, but I don't know if she's scared of me. I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position.

She shuts the door and fidgets with her fingers, staring at me.

"Can we sit down?" I ask.

She points to the couch.

I motion for her to go first, and she does. I follow and sit on the opposite end to give her space. My insides quiver as much as they did the day I got sentenced to sixteen years in prison. I just met her and already know I don't want to lose her, but I'm not sure if the damage is repairable or not. I gather my thoughts and clear my throat. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was going to, but I wasn't sure how to tell you or when."

She bites on her lip and nods.

"I tried to make sure whatever I said wasn't a lie, but I understand I left out some pretty big details and shouldn't have," I admit.

She scrunches her face and looks down. She returns to twisting her fingers in her lap.

I blurt out, "Are you scared of me, Hales?"

She pins her blue orbs on me. "Should I be?"

My stomach flips. "No. I would never hurt you or any woman. But are you?"

She slowly shakes her head. "No."

A tiny amount of relief shoots through me, but I know I'm not anywhere near where I need to be with her. "Ask me whatever you want to know, and I'll tell you."

Her lip trembles, and she turns on the couch with her knee against the back of the seat. "Okay. I read everything, and Nora told me why you killed the man you did. Do you regret it?"

I release a breath and close my eyes for a moment, then open them and meet hers. "I'm not going to lie to you. I don't regret killing him. I'd do it again. I regret how I did it and losing fifteen years of my life."

Her face doesn't change. I'm not sure if my admission made things worse or if she's giving me any credit for being honest. My stomach never stops flipping. The ticking of the clock on the wall seems to get louder as the silence between us continues.

She finally asks, "So you would only kill him, or would you kill someone else again?"

My pulse beats so hard in my neck, I wonder if she can see it. "If someone hurt someone I love, I would tear them to shreds and destroy them."

She inhales sharply, and I curse myself for not delivering my truth more tactfully.

"You don't want me to sugarcoat things, do you?" I ask.

"No. I want the truth."

"I'm giving it to you. I know this is a lot to ask you to accept, but this is me. And I already know you're too good for me, Hales. You're a good person, and I'm not. But I will always be the best person I can be when it comes to you. If anyone tries to hurt you, they'll pay."

She swallows hard. "Liam, I spent the first few years of my life in a violent household. My father..." She turns away from me and wipes her face. Several minutes pass, and I continue to hold myself back from invading her personal space. She finally looks at me. "He's in prison for murder. My mom fled with us in the middle of the night. She lived in fear of him finding us for years. This…this is a lot for me to accept."

My heart sinks for her and what she's been through but also for what she's telling me. I already knew it was a lot, but this extra bit of information is a spear driving our truths deeper into my heart. "I like you. A lot. I want to get past this, but I know I can't make you okay with it."

She keeps blinking, and her lips quiver like her voice. "I like you, too, but I just..." She shuts her eyes. "I don't know if I can do this with you."

Panic, hurt, and the inability to breathe annihilates me. They are words I didn't want to hear, but I knew before I came over it could be my reality. But, she also didn't say for sure she couldn't be with me, so I hang on to any amount of hope left. "I understand."

"I'm sorry about the text. I didn't—"

"Hales, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one who screwed up. I should have told you. I just didn't know how. I didn't expect to meet you, and I didn't have a plan. I'm sorry. If you want to go to the wedding with me, then I want to take you. If you can't, I understand."

She takes a shaky breath. "I want to, but I just don't know if I can, Liam."

The clawing at my heart intensifies. "Fair enough. Why don't I give you time to think it over, and you can tell me when you decide?"

"Is that fair to you? Don't you want to ask someone else if I say no?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm not interested in anyone else. But if you already had a date or bring someone else, I'll deal with it."

"I wasn't bringing anyone."

I don't have a right to be relieved, but I am. The thought of seeing anyone else with Hailee makes my blood boil. "Okay. I hope you decide to come with me, but if not, I understand."

"When do you need to know? The wedding is only a few days away."

"There's no time frame. Whenever you're comfortable."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. If there's anything I'm sure about right now, it's that I want you in my life. So if you need time, I'll give it to you."

She looks away again, and tears fall down her cheeks.

I slide over and tug her into me. I shouldn't touch her, but I can't handle watching her cry anymore. Her entire body shakes, and she whispers, "I'm sorry."

"Shh. Stop saying that." I stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head, wanting to make everything terrible between us go away but clueless about how to do it.

She retreats and wipes her face.

I rise. "I'm going to go now. If you have any other questions, call or text me."

"Okay. Thank you." She walks me to the door.

I want to kiss her—it could be my last opportunity—but I don't. There's nothing else I can do. My past and future are unavoidable. The notion I could ever have her, and she'd be okay with it, was reaching for the stars. Giving her space to figure out if she can accept me is the only avenue I see.

As I walk out of her apartment, I can't shake the growing pit in my gut. I'm asking for her to accept too much. It's a request I struggle with, and if I haven't figured out how to deal with things, how is it fair for me to ask her to embrace all that I am and all that I will become?