The Meeting Point by Olivia Lara
Eighty-One
June 16
Yesterday ended with a call to Alisa; she rejected it and texted she was having breakfast with an out-of-town author.
It’s OK, I replied. Nothing urgent. Just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.
I miss you too. And sorry if I’ve been prickly lately. I’m sure you know what you’re doing. I just don’t want you to get hurt.
You’re not prickly, you’re honest. And… I don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know I’m terrified of getting hurt. And I think that’s the problem.
A problem you can solve. You’re a smart cookie. You’ll figure it out. I believe in you!she said in the last text before I went to sleep.
Today is the last day before Ethan’s book launch. It’s going to be a bittersweet day, I know it as soon as Celine and I arrive at Café Azure.
“I was thinking of closing the café tomorrow, for Ethan’s book event. The problem is I have to rush back because last time everyone came to Café Azure when the signing was done.”
“I can stay here while you go with Ethan,” I say.
She squints, “You’re not coming?”
I don’t answer because I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that yet. I feel like I should start tearing myself away from him, so tomorrow, when he leaves for the airport, it’s not going to be like ripping a Band-Aid off a fresh wound. It will be more like an existing, already bandaged cut.
Who am I kidding? How much of this forced separation can I accomplish in one day?
Especially with him sitting, like always, at his table. As if tomorrow is just another day. Maybe it is. For him. Although, thinking back to last night… I’m starting to have doubts.
“He’d want you to be there,” she says.
And I would want to be there. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea,” I say.
“Because of the paper thing?” she asks.
Anna interrupts us when she comes from behind me and hugs me tight.
“Thank you! I now have an upstairs neighbor and, as it happens, a date for tonight.”
I smile. “I’m so glad it worked out.”
“Not more than I am,” she says and after getting her order ‘to go’ from Celine, I see her meeting our charming Hugo outside. The ‘Blue Valentines’ Club’ is getting thinner. I love it!
Ethan stops writing after a while and I see him taking out my manuscript. He must be almost done with it. He’s browsing through some pages, back and forth, as if he’s looking for something and the nervousness is back with a vengeance. He’s so focused, I don’t dare to interrupt him.
The more he keeps reading and the more time passes, I feel again like last night. Out of air. I feel the walls closing in on me and pressing my rib cage. Am I becoming claustrophobic?
“Do you mind if I take a break?” I ask Celine. “I want to take a walk. Get some air.”
“Of course!” she says. “Everything OK? You look a bit pale.”
“I’m fine, don’t worry.”
As I’m about to go out the door, I feel someone is right behind me and turn. It’s Ethan.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“Nowhere in particular; taking a break,” I say.
“Do you want company?”
Yours? More than anything, which is killing me inside. That’s the problem, Ethan. I do want your company. Now, and later, and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
“Is it OK if I just do this one by myself?”
“No, of course.” He touches my arm. “Before you go—” He pauses. “I finished your book.”
My heart is thumping.
He looks at me, through me, and straight into my soul.
“I now owe you some answers. As was the deal.”
I swallow nervously and realize I haven’t said a word.
“Can I text you later? I have to see… someone. Arrange a meeting.” His smile forced.
He’s seeing someone to arrange a meeting? Max. He’s going to see Max, tell him about me, and get us in front of each other. Ethan finished reading and he believes me. This is what I’ve wanted. Then why is my heart hurting right now? Why am I feeling sadness instead of joy?
“Yes, sure,” I say and walk out of the café and into the sun. I’m shivering, although it’s eighty degrees out. This coldness is coming from inside. It’s panic. And not panic that I will finally meet Max. It’s the panic that when meeting Max, I will lose Ethan.