The Meeting Point by Olivia Lara
Eighty-Three
I grab the phone from my bag and not even thinking how late it is in London, I call Alisa.
It doesn’t go straight to voicemail. There’s hope. Please, pick up. Please!
I hear a mumble and then Alisa’s sleepy voice.
“Maya, are you alright?”
“Alisa, I’m so sorry to wake you up. I just, I need to talk to you.”
I hear a noise, and I picture her sitting up, turning on the light, and staring at her clock.
“It’s OK; I was planning on waking up for the gym,” she says, and I know it’s a lie.
“I love you, you know?” I say.
“I love you too,” she says. “What’s going on? I assume you didn’t call to declare your love,” she says and giggles.
“I should’ve,” I say. “You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.”
“Just returning a little bit of how much you give me. So, what’s up?”
“He has a girlfriend,” I say, the desperation coming through every word.
“A girlfriend? That’s messed up! How do you know? Did Ethan tell you?”
“No! I’m not talking about Max.”
“Huh?”
“Ethan. Ethan has a girlfriend. And she’s a hundred times prettier than me, clearly younger. She’s like this perfect thing and so nice, you can’t even be mean to her.”
“So what’s the problem? Why do we care about Ethan’s girlfriend?”
I bite my lip and don’t respond.
“Do we care about Ethan’s girlfriend?” she asks tentatively.
“We shouldn’t, should we?” I ask, playing her game. I’m so all over the place. And I sound childish, I know that. But Alisa is the only person I can be messed up with. Hmm, weirdly enough, I also felt lately I could be my insecure, chaotic self with Ethan.
“No, we shouldn’t.”
“Right. You’re right. We’re just friends. Not even.”
“Indeed. You’re just friends until he tells you who Max is.”
“But—”
“No buts. And where are you anyway? It sounds echoey.”
“In the bathroom. At a restaurant.”
“Let me guess. He’s in the restaurant with her.”
“He is.”
“And you pulled the toilet pass. Ouch. I don’t like what it means.”
“It doesn’t mean anything. Just a momentary blip.”
“Is it the same blip that took you to Big Sur, Napa and that show in San Francisco?”
“I—”
“If it’s the same blip that made you kiss him, maybe you should stop for a moment and think about what you truly want. I know it’s easy to get caught up in a plan and walk blindly forward until you reach your target. But sometimes the target moves.”
“Stop saying blip. And what are you even talking about?”
“Plans change. Targets change. Feelings change. People change. I’m not Ethan’s fan. I think he’s a sucky friend and I think he knew what he was doing, spending all this time with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one who has these feelings. Unless he’s the world’s biggest player or he’s trying to get back at you for something, all these things he’s doing, these super nice things can only mean one thing. Even from thousands of miles away.”
“No! Plans don’t change. I’m tired of plans changing and never working out as I want them to. It’s just a… blip. There, you made me repeat it. But that’s all this is. We’ve been spending some time together lately, that’s all.”
“Some? No. A lot of time. Tons of time. All the time. You sounded happy on every call, and I don’t remember Max being mentioned too much in our conversations. It’s not always as black and white as you want it to be. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. If you’d just be honest with yourself, you’ll see that all signs point to… you having feelings for him.”
“The only person I have feelings for is Max.”
“Max is a unicorn. A one-day adventure. What you and Ethan share is much more—”
I interrupt her. “Either way, did you hear me? Ethan has a girlfriend.”
“Yet he spent all of his time with you. I wonder about this out-of-the-blue girlfriend of his.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m in love with someone else.”
I walk out of the bathroom and into the restaurant as stealthily as possible. I’m one with the wall, away from their eyes. I peek around the corner and see them talking and laughing.
“Maya, you sound like a robot. Listen to yourself. In love? You are in love, alright. But it’s not with Max. I hope you won’t regret this stubbornness of yours and you won’t wake up too late to see what’s in front of you,” she says and that stings. Because it is too late. And the proof is wearing a summer dress and smiling with her perfect teeth at this man who is not a blip, and who is not Max, and who was not in my plan. But who I love! Oh, God! I do. I love him. Despite everything, despite myself.
Instead of walking toward the table, I do a 180 and go for the door.
Did he do this to humiliate me? He never planned to tell me who Max is, did he? All he wanted to do was play with me. Is this his way of taking revenge on what he thinks I did to his friend? He read my book, he knows how much that day meant to me. How could he do this?
I can’t love him. I should hate him, just like I told him so many times; instead, I hate myself for feeling so strongly for him. I’m not mad because Max is not here, am I? I’m not mad that Ethan’s not telling me who Max is. I am mad because sometime between my arrival here and today, I fell in love with Ethan. Although I knew it was a bad idea. I knew it, and it still happened. And now I’m hurt beyond measure. He used me to get publicity, which is probably why we continued to go out to all those places. Always public places. People saw us together all the time. How foolish I have been! How stupid and gullible. How could I fall in love with a man like him? With his charming smile and his good manners, his perfect sense of humor and playfulness. He knew exactly what buttons to push to keep me hanging and only ever gave me enough to hope, but never to be sure.
Alisa is absolutely right. I have denied it all this time. I kept telling myself it was all for Max, when in fact Max was the last thing on my mind. I don’t deserve a man like Max. I have hurt him enough. Even if I met him now, I’d have nothing left to offer him. I can’t give him my heart. Unfortunately, I gave it away already to someone else. Someone who broke it into a million pieces and then trampled it.
What did I do?
I go back to the cottage, and pack. I’m done. Maybe a cheat and a liar like David is the best a person like me deserves.