It’s Only Temporary by Iona Rose

Connor

“Something smells good,” Bianca said as she hobbled into the kitchen.

After making love, I had taken a quick shower and gone to the kitchen to cook the meal I’d planned. I had everything I needed, having passed by the grocery store downstairs.

“What are you cooking?” she said as she slid onto a stool.

I shot a glance at her and smiled. She looked so cute, freshly out of the shower wearing only a bathrobe. She was a walking temptation I mused as my gaze seared over the outline of her body.

“Rigatoni with sausage and peas,” I said.

I loved cooking during my free time and I’d picked up a lot of recipes from James at the lodge over the years. I liked it even better when I was cooking for someone. I’d once thought of getting into that line of work but marketing had won in the end. I loved the challenge of coming up with new concepts.

Maybe later in life, when I got tired of the fast pace of the advertising world, I would pursue my love of cooking in some capacity.

“You’re a better cook than I am judging from the delicious smells in here,” Bianca said.

I moved to her and planted a kiss on her lips. “It doesn’t smell better than you,” I murmured, inhaling her minty scent.

She chuckled. “Are you comparing me to food?”

“Maybe, but you come out on top,” I said laughingly and returned to the stove to turn down the heat.

“Drink?” I asked her.

“Water,” she said and I got a glass and served her water from the tap. She started laughing when I placed the water in front of her on the island.

“What are you laughing at?” I said.

“I remembered how you looked when you remembered that Eva might be in the house.”

I laughed. “She would have killed me. Where is she?”

“She wasn’t feeling too well. She left early to go an see her doctor. I should call her to find out what he said.”

As she made the call, I set the island with cutlery and water and then proceeded to serve us food. Bianca hobbled back into the kitchen as I was setting our plates down.

She had lines of worry as she sat down.

“Is everything okay?” I said.

“Sort off. Turns out that Eva is pregnant but she’s a little anemic so the doctor decided to keep her overnight at the hospital for observation.”

“A baby, wow! That must be exciting news for them,” I said.

“Eva wasn’t ready for a baby so she’s not exactly enthusiastic and she’s also worried about the anemia.”

“They’ll sort it out and she’ll be fine in no time. One of my cousins, I think it was June, had the same issue a couple of years ago. Eva will be fine.”

“I suppose she will,” Bianca said. “I wish I could be with her at the hospital but she insisted that she was fine and Jeremy would be there in an hour or so.”

She still looked worried.

“Hey relax. She’s at the hospital, in the hands of experienced people.”

“I’m not even worried about the baby. It’s how depressed she sounded,” Bianca said a she forked her food. “She and Jeremy were having issues because he wanted a baby and she didn’t. She wanted to dedicate her time to our company.”

“Women do that all the time. My boss is a woman and she has three children. It’s hard as hell I’m sure but if she and Jeremy work together, it can be done.”

Bianca smiled. “I should get you to talk to her and drum some sense into her. She sounds as if being pregnant is the end of the world.”

“She just needs time to get used to it. I’ve never met a woman who is not excited by the thought of her own baby.”

“I hope so.”

Speaking of babies reminded me of Angie and the one-sided conversations we used to have regarding our future family. One-sided because I seemed to be the only one excited by the idea. I wasn’t in a rush to have a family but when I brought it up, Angie never shared her thoughts.

I never knew how many children she wanted or even if she wanted any. I’d just assumed she did. Obviously, I’d been wrong about that too.

“Do you ever think about having children?” I asked Bianca.

She seemed startled by the question and she took her time answering it. “I love children and, in my fantasies, I have like ten of them. In reality though, I wouldn’t want to put kids through what my parents put Eva and me through.”

“You told me that they divorced,” I said.

She nodded. “That was bad enough but what followed for the next few years was worse. They fought over us and they were always going to court. It was horrible and eventually, it was us who begged them to reach a custody agreement outside of court.”

I couldn’t imagine parents doing that to their children. “I’m so sorry. No wonder the idea of being pregnant is so hard for Eva.”

Bianca nodded. “She says she’s not ready but I’ve come to the same conclusion too. She probably carried the trauma from our growing up years. It’s enough to turn someone off from having a child.”

I didn’t know what to say but I felt deeply upset with her parents. Did they realize that their actions would have such consequences on the future of their children?

What chance did I have even a year down the line to persuade Bianca that we could make it work?

“How did you learn to cook like that?” Bianca said. “That was delicious.”

“James taught me back in the day. I love to cook.”

“I’m impressed and ashamed to admit that my culinary skills are almost nonexistent,” she said.

“You can’t be good at everything and I think you’re as close to perfect as any woman I’ve ever met.”

“You say the nicest things,” she said.

“And I only speak the truth.” I got up and carried our dirty dishes to the sink.

“I want to help,” Bianca said.

“Definitely not. But you can help by picking something we can watch when I’m done with the dishes,” I said.

“Okay. You’re very bossy this evening,” she said as she grabbed her crutches and pulled herself up.

I’d always loved and craved for domestic scenes when Angie and I had been dating. She hated them and claimed it made her feel as if she was entering a prison. Thinking about it now, Angie had a lot of issues but I’d thought it was all a part of her personality.

I finished washing up and wiping down the surfaces, then joined Bianca in the living room. “What did you pick?” I said sitting down at the end of the couch.

“It’s a true crime documentary,” she said. “They can get a little gruesome. We can watch something else.”

“No it’s fine.” I was startled by the coincidence. The documentary she had picked would have been my choice too.

I lifted her legs onto my lap and massaged her thighs lightly as we got into the story.

“I love how Anthony Faraday narrates this series,” Bianca said.

“Yeah, makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise,” I said.

Bianca swung her gaze to me. “This is not your first time watching this, is it?”

I grinned. “Guilty as charged. It’s one of my favorite series. I’ve watched all the previous two seasons.”

She beamed. “Me too. Which was your favorite episode? Mine was the one where the guy’s mother killed his girlfriend. I never saw that coming.”

We paused the documentary and dissected the series for the next half an hour. I felt as if I’d met a kindred spirit as none of my friends or Angie had shared my love for true crime stories. Angie said they scared her and I could understand that, so I watched them alone.

“Let’s take bets over who the killer is on this one,” Bianca said. “I think it’s the gym coach,” she said and hit play on the remote control.

“I think it’s the girlfriend.” I hadn’t had that much in common in a long time with a woman.

Time flew as we watched and exchanged views in between.

“We shouldn’t watch a movie together in the theatre,” Bianca said with a giggle. “We’d irritate the hell out of other people and be kicked out.”

“But it’s so much fun watching and talking,” I said as the episode came to an end and the credits went up the screen.

Bianca laughed and then yawned.

I glanced at my watch. “It’s ten. I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten. I have to go.”

“Or you could spend the night,” Bianca said. “Tomorrow is Saturday.”

It wasn’t a difficult decision to make. “I need to think about it.” I waited a beat. “Okay I will.”

She laughed. “You’re silly. Do you want to watch another episode?”

“Sure, I’d love to.”

We watched another one and another one until we agreed that we really did need to go to bed if we planned on seeing Saturday. I helped Bianca get out of her clothes even though she insisted that she could do it.

“It’s nice to have you in my bed,” Bianca said when we had settled down in the bed.

“And odd seeing that you don’t even know where I live,” I said.

She laughed. “That’s true. If you disappeared from my life and changed your cell phone number, I wouldn’t know where to find you.”

“Not true. You would ask Sarah,” I said.

“Ah yes. I know every member of your family,” she said.

“Has Eva texted you?” I asked her.

Bianca nodded. “Yeah, she says she feels better and she was with Jeremy earlier. I wish I could see her for myself.”

An idea came to me them. “If you like, I can go and see her in the morning, then I’ll let you know how she really is. What do you think?”

She cocked her head and looked at me but I knew that her thoughts were on how the idea would sit with Eva. “You know what, I think that’s a good idea. She’ll be mad as hell but she’ll calm down.”

“Good, that’s settled then,” I said, pleased that I could do something to help.

“You’re a really good person,” Bianca said, staring at me. “I don’t understand why a woman would leave you.”

Happiness bubbled in my chest at her compliment. “Thank you. As for Angie, I guess she didn’t want the same things I wanted.”

“Which is?” Bianca pressed.

“Love, family…the whole works,” I said, worried that in voicing my dreams for the future, I would pressure Bianca or push her away.

“A lot of people want that,” she said.

“Do you?” I said. My heart pounded hard as I waited for her response.

“I suppose on some level I do,” she said. “It’s just that I don’t trust myself to go the long haul with it. Plus, I like my life. The simplicity of it and the fact that I create my own happiness.”

“I like that you’re honest,” I said. “You don’t give a man false hope.”

“That’s not quite true Connor. I can’t give you false hopes because you don’t want a relationship either. You need time to get over Angie.”

I nodded. I’d told myself the same thing and it sounded so reasonable. But my heart thought different. I wanted to make Bianca mine permanently but it went against everything I knew about relationships and breakups. I need to get Angie out of my system.

Bianca yawned and then giggled. “Sorry. I’m really sleepy.”

I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Sleep then. Sweet dreams.”