It’s Only Temporary by Iona Rose

Bianca

“I’m told by your mother that you girls are doing very well in your jewelry business,” my father said, shifting his glance from me to Eva.

My mother had invited Eva, Jeremy and me to dinner to celebrate the rekindling of their love, as she’d put it. My first reaction had been to say no but Eva had convinced me otherwise. It also helped that Connor was out of town and I had nothing else to do.

“Yes, it’s going very well,” Eva said. “Bianca and I are thinking of getting an office space.”

“That’s wonderful and I’m very proud of you,” my father said.

He was a handsome man with all his dark hair intact and his green eyes still shining with youthful energy. I could see why women flocked to him and why my mother still looked at him as if he was dessert. What I didn’t understand was why she believed that he had changed and would suddenly make a good husband.

“Thank you,” Eva said and I murmured the same.

It was an uncomfortable dinner and I missed Connor. I pulled my phone from my purse to check if he had texted me. Nothing.

“Are you still with the nice boyfriend I found at your place?” my mother asked.

“Yes,” I said, my face heating up.

“He seems like a nice young man. Have you met him, Jeremy?” my mother said.

“No I haven’t but I’m sure we’ll meet soon.” Jeremy winked at me.

Awkward silences filled the table as we ate. We were a family only in name. Too many years had passed by for us to bridge the gap that had sprouted between us. Jeremy tried and so did mother. Eva and I didn’t make an effort and after a while, neither did dad.

When it was time to leave, we were all relieved to part ways. I got a ride home with Jeremy and Eva.

“Well, that was awkward,” Eva said from the front passenger seat.

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“I think it went well for a first-time dinner after so many years,” Jeremy said, ever the optimist.

Eva and I didn’t respond. I hopped out when we got to my building and waved goodbye. The first thing I did was check my phone for a missed call or a message. Crushing disappointment came over me.

What was Connor doing that he couldn’t call or text? I inhaled deeply and told myself to calm down. There was a perfectly good reason why he hadn’t texted. I was too tightly wound up to sleep so I changed into comfortable shorts and a t-shirt and went to the studio to work.

Soon I was lost in my work and all my worries over Connor had disappeared from my mind. I worked for a solid two hours and when I went to bed, I was tired enough to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The following morning, I woke up with a new resolution. I was not going to spend the day sneaking glances at my phone to check if Connor had texted. In fact, I wasn’t going to check my phone before showering and getting ready for the day.

Feeling good about myself, I padded to the bathroom and got into the shower. Without warning, my mind wandered to Connor. It was six and the conference program was starting at eight. Was he still asleep or was he checking his email messages on the phone as he did every morning?

If he was on his phone, why then hadn’t he texted me? Then I remembered that I hadn’t checked my phone. A frantic feeling came over me. My phone was on silent mode. What if he had tried calling me and was now sick with worry?

I quickly rinsed off the soap from my body and grabbed a towel. Before I was completely dry, I hurried back into my room and grabbed my phone.

I stared at it in disbelief. Nothing. Not a message and not a missed call. Unable to help myself, I found Connor’s number and hit call. It went straight to voice mail.

I desperately needed to hear his voice. I dressed quickly and grabbed my phone again. I found the hotel number and called. Knowing the privacy issues most hotels had with regards to their guests, I quickly contorted a story why I didn’t have his room number.

I was lucky. The woman who answered the phone spoke hurriedly with a touch of urgency. She couldn’t wait to get off the call and she quickly put me through to Connor’s room.

Relief surged through me when the phone rang. My face relaxed and I even managed a smile in anticipation of hearing his voice. I should have just called or texted him the previous night instead of torturing myself waiting for him to make the first move.

He was my boyfriend and I had a right to get in touch with him.

The ringing sound stopped as the phone was answered.

“Connor?”

“Hello, who is it?” a female husky voice said.

My heart beat like a drum in my chest. “This is Bianca.”

I inhaled deeply. It was clearly a mistake of room numbers getting mixed up. There was no way Connor had a woman in his room. He wouldn’t, would he? Then I remembered the previous night, when I’d waited for him to text or call and he did neither. A sick feeling came over me.

Connor wouldn’t do that, a small voice in my head said. How long had I known him for to speak with conviction over what he would or wouldn’t do? My hands shook so badly, I thought I would drop the phone.

“Hold on,” she said in a voice of someone who was still in bed. She held the phone away but I could still hear her voice. “Connor honey?”

My breath froze. This was not happening to me. A sob rose up my throat and I clamped a hand on my mouth to stem it. I couldn’t speak to him. What was there to say? I disconnected the call and sank on my bed.

Pain rumbled through me. What kind of sick game was Connor playing? If he didn’t want to be with me, all he had to do was say so. I wasn’t forcing him to be in a relationship with me. I trusted him for fucksake! How could he do something so cruel? I wrapped my hands around myself and rocked back and forth. It felt as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest.

How was it possible to be so happy in one moment and so devastated in the next? I should have known that it wouldn’t work. I had bad luck when it came to relationships. Except that Connor had seemed so different, so grounded.

The ache in my chest became a stabbing pain. I lay on the bed and curled myself into a fetal position. Then the sobs came, wracking my body. I thought the pain would never stop but when my tears ended, the pain was less.

A key sounded on the door. I quickly scrambled to my feet and hurried to the bathroom to clean my face. Back in the bedroom, I applied some make up with shaky hands.

By the time I went to the studio, Eva was already there with our mugs of coffee. She looked up from her computer.

“Are you wearing make up?” she said. “Wait a minute, were you crying?”

Just that was enough to get me crying again. I lost control and bawled like a baby. Eva jumped to her feet and in a second, she was by my side, with her arm draped around me.

“Tell me, what happened?” she said.

The whole story came tumbling out amid fresh tears. I visualized Connor with another woman in his arms and it felt as if I had fallen into a deep, dark hole.

“Bastard,” she said ferociously. “He fooled all of us. He’d better not show his gorgeous face here again.”

I giggled amidst my tears. “You can’t call a cheater gorgeous.”

Eva hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry sweetheart,” she said. “We’ll get through this.”

“I’m a fool,” I said. I’d given away my heart to Connor so fast without taking the time to know him.

“No, you’re not. You just want love just like everyone else,” Eva said.