The Raven Game by Jessica Sorensen

Raven

So, I can’t remember much about these games, but I do recall enough to know that, once upon a time, I was forced to play a game where I constantly felt afraid. From bits and pieces of what the guys have said, I’ve picked up that it was a dangerous game. I just don’t remember the rules, what the point of the game was, or why I was playing at all. I also don’t know why I stopped playing. Did the game just end, and I got to go home?

I need more answers, so I decide to pry some information out of Hunter as he steers me toward a room so I can change my clothes.

After Jax declared what the party was for, Hunter took my hand and guided me out of the soundproofed room. I was a bit in shock by what Jax had said and had just let him. Now, though, the shock is replaced by a clusterfuck of questions.

“Why are we playing this game again?” I ask as he leads me down one of the many hallways in the house. “I never agreed to it. Did you?”

His hand tenses in mine as he slides his gaze to mine. “We didn’t have a choice but to agree to play.”

“Why? Are they holding something over you?”

He gives a nod. “They are. And it’s extremely valuable to us.”

“I’d say so if you’re willing to risk your life for it.” I pause. “Why do I have to play, though?”

He slows to a stop, a frown forming on his lips. “Well, I guess, technically, you don’t have to. Although, Jax, Zay, and I will probably get killed if you don’t.”

“Why? Because I’m such a good fighter?” I say jokingly.

He doesn’t even so much as crack a smile. “That, and if we don’t have all our team members from the original game, we’ll instantly lose.”

All my humor goes poof. “So, I was part of your original team?”

He nods, his gaze searching mine. “Do you remember that at all?”

I sift through my memories then give an uneven nod. “I think I remember a little bit of it.”

“Yeah?” he asks, and I nod. “Like what?”

“Well, I can remember some stuff. Like those shadowed creature things chasing us through a forest. I can remember being scared a lot and feeling like I have to hurt people to survive.” I swallow audibly, the heaviness of the moment barely tolerable. “I don’t remember how the game ended. To be honest, I still don’t remember much of my past, even after the game ended.”

“Yeah, we’re all sort of like that. And I don’t want to scare you, but I also don’t want to lie to you, either.” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “We’re all pretty sure that, after the first game ended, our memories were tampered with so we wouldn’t remember much of what had happened. Well, either that or it was a side effect of all the drugs involved in the game.”

My eyes widen. “Drugs … But we were children!”

His throat muscles work as he swallows hard. “I know. And, unfortunately, that was kind of the point of the game.”

A cold chill slithers up my spine as a dark revelation crawls through me. My stomach twists as I become aware of the many holes in my memories and that maybe it wasn’t any sort of drugs that did it. Perhaps what happened to me was so awful that my mind could only cope by making me forget.

“If they wanted children to play the game, then why do we have to play now? We’re basically adults.”

He rubs his lips together. “We’re not sure yet, but we’re going to find out. In fact, we need to find out as much as we can if we’re going to win this.” When a soft beep reverberates from somewhere, he stiffens. Then he moves his gaze up to a security camera mounted on the wall above us. “Come on … Let’s go get you changed. Then we can talk more about this in the car,” he mutters, lowering his gaze and pulling me toward a nearby door. He then steers us inside the room and shuts the door behind us.

“Hey, this is the room I woke up in after the whole river incident,” I remark as I take in the familiar bed, dresser, and purple walls. It feels like forever ago since that happened when really, it’s been just a few days. I think that might be because I’m starting to remember stuff, and it’s messing with my concept of time.

“I know. It’s your room now.”

Out of pure instinct, I turn to argue with him then pause. As much as I initially loathed the idea of living with them, I feel differently now. Maybe because I’m aware that I knew them once, so I trust them more?

I crinkle my nose at that thought. Trust? Do I trust them?

“What’s that look for?” he asks as he steps toward me.

I consider lying, because that’s what I do. But I’ll never get any answers if I keep doing that shit, so … “I was just thinking about our pasts,” I reply with a shrug. “And whether or not I used to trust you guys. From what I can remember, I think I did … Maybe not always, but …” I trail off, waiting for him to say something.

When he hesitates, worry stirs through me, and I instinctively step back.

“Or maybe I didn’t.” I move to take another step back when he captures my hand.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say that you trusted us right away,” he replies as he tows me toward him. “But you did eventually.”

“Oh.” I swallow hard as he pulls me closer to him. He has this intense look on his face and, for some stupid reason, it’s making my stomach feel fluttery. He had a similar expression on right before he kissed me the last time. And the time before that …

“Are you going to kiss me again?”

He cracks the tiniest smiles. “I was thinking about it.” He grows serious. “Are you okay with that?”

Am I?

I have no idea. Plus … “What about the rules?” I ask, my heart hammering in my chest.

“Those aren’t in play anymore,” he murmurs as he becomes fixated with my mouth.

“Why not? Because Jax seemed super adamant about them. And now he’s suddenly not?”

“Because things are different now,” he utters, drifting his gaze up to mine. Then reluctance flickers across his face. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, I won’t. I just …” He blows out a quiet sigh.

I don’t know why I say what I do next. Maybe because my mind is still recovering from the blackout, or perhaps I just like kissing him, but … “You can kiss me if you want,” I say quietly.

“You sure?” he double-checks.

The moment I nod, he lets out a relieved breath, and then he brings his lips down on mine while tangling his fingers through my hair. He groans at the intense connection, and I nearly stumble back.

For a moment, I stand there stiffly, wondering if I really do want to do this. With everything going on, is this the best thing I should be doing? I’m not sure, but God, does it feel good. Like really, really good. So good a moan slips from my lips.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Hunter breathes out as he momentarily breaks the kiss. His hands are on my waist, his fingers digging so forcefully into my flesh that I swear I’m going to bruise. It doesn’t bother me, though. In fact, I kind of like the pain.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

He nods then kisses me again. This time, I fall right into it, parting my lips. He tangles his tongue with mine as he tugs on the strands of my hair, groaning and pressing himself against me. Then he wanders his hands down to my thighs and lifts me up, startling the crap out of me. I tense, unsure what the heck he’s doing, but he doesn’t miss a beat, urging my legs around him while continuing to kiss me.

I hold onto him as he starts to walk forward with my legs hitched around his waist. Moments later, he’s laying me down on the bed and covering my body with his. Then he kisses me again and again, and … oh my unicorns, I think I like kissing. Like, a ton. I didn’t think I would considering how messed up my first kiss was. Well, what I can recall being my first kiss. Now I wonder if it was. Perhaps I forgot about my real first kiss. Maybe Hunter kissed me the first time …

Lips touching mine …

I giggle nervously …

“Sorry,” the boy sputters …

I blink from the memory and jerk back, breaking the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Hunter says breathlessly. “I didn’t mean to push you too far. I just …” He stares down at me, looking a bit panicked.

Are these the same eyes that looked at me the first time I was kissed?

“Did you …?” I try to force myself to remember the memory completely but can’t get there. “Did you kiss me once …? Before …?”

He slowly shakes his head, and I frown because I kind of wished he had. Then the creepy doctor wouldn’t have been the one to give me my first kiss.

“It was actually Zay,” he tells me while propping up on his elbow.

I raise my brows. “What …? Huh …? What?”

“Yeah … I think it was both of you guys’ first kiss, too, but I’m not sure.” He considers something. “You can always ask him.”

I crinkle my nose. “Nah, I’d rather not.” But, for reals? Zay kissed me once? Could he have even been my first kiss? Zay? Grumpy, moody Zay?

He sighs. “Look, I know Zay was shitty toward you on your first day of school, and I’m not saying you have to forgive him—or any of us—but if this is gonna work, we need to trust each other again.” He lowers his lips to mine and gives me the softest kiss. “And I think you might trust me a bit, right?” He leans back and waits for my response.

I kind of want to say no, because admitting that I do means giving a bit of my trust to him, and I’m not used to that. But he might be right. This game we’re about to play is going to require a lot of trust. At least from what I can remember.

I give a reluctant nod, but then I add, “It’s easier to trust you, because you’ve been more honest with me.”

His expression softens. “I know, baby, but the emotional stuff … I’ve always sort of been better with that than Zay or Jax. Give them a chance, okay? Now that they know who you are … I know they want you to trust them, okay? In fact, it’s important that you do.”

I momentarily get snagged on him calling me baby but decide to let it slide for now, asking, “Because of the game, right?”

He wavers. “That’s part of it.”

“What’s the other part?”

He parts his lips to answer when a knock at the door interrupts him. Instead of answering, he lets out a sigh then says, “Twenty bucks says that’s either Jax telling us to hurry our asses up or Zay with the message from Jax.” He cracks a small smile.

I shake my head. “There’s no way in hell I’m taking that bet.”

He chuckles as he pushes up off the bed, standing and ruffling his hair into place.

Someone knocks again, but Hunter says nothing as he leans forward and brushes his lips across mine one more time.

“I just wanted one more taste,” he tells me before leaning back.

I have to catch my breath, because I swear I forgot to breathe for a moment. I’m still struggling to when Hunter calls out, “You can come in, man.”

The door is opened and, a second later, Zay walks in. He immediately skates his gaze to where I am, staring at me for a beat before turning to Hunter.

“Jax wants to make sure you’re not wasting time,” he says. “We need to make this quick.”

Hunter flicks an amused look at me, and I have to bite back a smile. Zay totally notices, dancing his gaze between the two of us. Before he can say anything, though, Hunter speaks first.

“We’re hurrying,” he lies. We were so not hurrying.

No, we were kissing … a lot.

Zay looks at me for some reason—more specifically, the top of my head—before returning his gaze to Hunter. “Yeah, I’m sure you were.” Doubt rings in his tone.

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, man,” Hunter says with an innocent look.

Zay shakes his head. “Whatever. Can we just hurry this up, please?”

Hunter gives him a salute before strolling over to the closet.

I expect Zay to leave, you know, because I’m supposed to be changing, but he sinks onto the edge of the bed beside me. He sits close enough that I can smell the scent of cologne and cigarettes flowing off him, but far enough away that we’re not touching. He doesn’t say anything at first, leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees, his hands overlapped, and his gaze focused on the doorway to the closet where Hunter is currently rummaging around for what I’m assuming is this outfit I’m supposed to be wearing.

I stare at Zay, his short brown hair, the faint scar on his face … his lips—the lips I once maybe kissed.

“What?” he says without looking at me.

“What? What?” I reply, still staring at him.

He flits his gaze to me. “Why’re you staring at me?”

I continue to stare at him, wanting to know. But, at the same time, it feels strange asking him. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Hey, did we kiss once?

Zay knits his brows as I continue to stare at him. “Are you okay?”

“I …” Just spit it out, Raven.You’re never going to get any answers if you don’t learn how to ask questions. “Did we kiss once?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to retract them. I internally cringe. This is Zay. Zay isn’t Hunter.

“What?” He straightens, clearly shocked by my question.

That’d make two of us. But I guess there’s no point in backing out now, so … “I just had this memory of when I was younger, and this boy had just kissed me,” I explain, feeling like a dumbass the longer he stares at me with an unreadable expression. “And when I asked Hunter about it, he said it might’ve been you in the memory.”

“You think you saw me kissing you in a memory?” he questions, speaking slowly, like he thinks I’m crazy.

“No,” I say defensively. “I had a memory that a boy kissed me when I was younger, and Hunter implied that it might be you. Honestly, I never thought it was. In fact, I thought Hunter was crazy for even suggesting it.”

He presses his lips together for a beat. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you think it’s crazy?”

I shrug. “Because you don’t even like me.”

“I saved you from drowning the other day,” he points out, his gaze intense.

“Yeah, but that was different,” I stress. “There’s a huge difference between letting someone die and choosing to kiss them. Besides, if I died, you may have gotten partial blame for it.”

“No, I wouldn’t have, because of who I am,” he says simply, making my jaw tick. “But that’s not why I saved you. And maybe that kiss that happened all those years ago wasn’t because I liked you.”

Wow, what a sweet guy.

Whatever. At least I got my answer.

“So, you did kiss me, then?” I should probably be disappointed about that, but I figure him kissing me when he didn’t even like me is better than that doctor guy stealing my first kiss. “Why, though, if you didn’t like me?”

His throat muscles work as he swallows hard. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“So? How else am I supposed to get answers?” I quip.

“True. But aren’t you afraid of the answers?” he asks, leaning in. “Careful, Ravenlee. If you ask the wrong question, you may fall into a dark, bottomless hole.”

Instead of leaning away, I lean closer to him and pat his cheek. “Is that another one of your nursery rhymes?”

He stares at me for a second before shaking his head. “You’re such a smartass. You were always like that, though.”

“So, is that why you kissed me, then?” I ask, trying to get under his skin.

He just shakes his head. “No … Well, not completely.”

His answer throws me off a bit, mostly because I feel like he’s giving me a piece of the truth, like he kissed me because I’m a smartass. That seems a little weird, but isn’t everything about my past weird?

“Well, this is interesting,” Hunter remarks with a hint of amusement in his tone.

I suddenly become aware that Zay and I have leaned so close to each other that we could almost kiss. I slant back and look at Hunter, who’s standing in the doorway of the closet, watching us with intrigue and holding what looks like clothing.

I cock a brow at him. “You think Zay and I sitting here is interesting? Wow, you must lead a pretty boring life, dude.”

His lips kick up into a smirk. “No, I think you and Zay almost kissing is interesting.” He lazily strolls toward me. “And I live a fascinating life. I think you know that.”

“How the hell would I know that?” I question then shake my head. “And Zay and I weren’t about to kiss.”

He smirks at me. “You sure about that?”

“Um … yeah,” I reply like duh.

“Hmm …” He rubs his lips together. “Maybe you weren’t, but I think Zay might’ve been on a different page.”

Zay scowls at Hunter. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I’m just stating the truth,” Hunter tells him with a smirk. “You don’t need to be embarrassed about it. I know it’s been a long time for you and everything, but I’m sure it would’ve been a hell of a hot kiss.”

Zay goes from scowling to full-on glowering at Hunter. “Why the hell do you do this shit?”

Hunter carries his gaze, his expression turning serious. “Because, if I don’t, you’ll never get over this issue.”

“There is no issue,” Zay bites back with his hands clenched into fists.

Hunter arches a brow. “There isn’t, huh?”

They don’t say anything else. They just stare at each other, having some sort of silent conversation with one another.

I feel left out of the loop and want to ask what the issue is, but I get the sense that it might be better not to ask. So, instead, I say, “I hate to break up this little staring contest you two have going on, but aren’t I supposed to be getting dressed so we can go to this doomsday party or whatever?”

Both glide their gazes to me.

“Doomsday party?” Hunter remarks with amused confusion glittering in his pretty blue eyes.

I give a half-shrug. “It seems pretty doomsday to me—all of this does. Well, starting from the point where those creatures clawed me and made me pass out.”

Hunter winces at that, while Zay frowns.

I pull my brows together. “Why are you guys acting so twitchy?”

“We’re not,” Hunter insists. “And you do need to get dressed.”

“And you need to stop being so invasive,” I retort. “What is it? Did I …? Was it not the monster’s claws that made me pass out?”

Again, Hunter winces, while Zay’s frown deepens. When I meet his gaze, he looks away, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

Beyond over this, I stand up and move away from them. “You know what? I’ve had enough of this evasive bullshit. Either you guys tell me what’s got you acting all twitchy, or I’m walking out of here and going home.”

Ha! Home, Ravenlee? You haven’t had a fucking home since your parents died. Maybe even before that.

When neither one of them offer up an answer, I cross my arms, elevate my chin, and start to march out of the room. I make it a whole three steps before Hunter snags the hem of my shirt, and Zay jumps to his feet, grabbing hold of my wrist.

I turn around and say calmly, “Let go of me before I make you let go of me.”

Hunter immediately lets go, lifting up his hands. “Sweetheart, no one here’s going to hurt you. We just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“That’d be a lot easier to believe if you weren’t lying to me,” I tell him. When he swallows audibly, anger bites inside me again.

I want to leave, but Zay still has a hold of my wrist, so I fix my gaze on him. “Let go of my wrist.”

His fingers, weirdly, are trembling. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” I tell him. “And if you don’t, I’ll just make you.”

“I dare you to try,” he replies in a low tone.

He’s attempting to be scary, and the sound of his voice is definitely enough to send chills down most spines, but I can feel his fingers still shaking. He’s scared of something, but what? What could someone like him be afraid of?

I search his eyes. “Why are you so scared?”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” he scoffs.

“Liar,” I retort, stepping toward him. I’m tall, but I still have to angle my head up to meet his gaze. “I can feel that you are by the way your fingers are trembling.”

“They’re not trembling,” he replies, finding my waist with his other hand.

I expect him to grip me there in an attempt to hold onto me more, but he grazes his fingers along the outside of my shirt, just at the bottom of my scars. It’s such an intimate touch that I actually tremble a little. I quickly recover, though, and step back from him. His hand falls from my waist, but he keeps his other hand on my wrist.

“Dude.” I pinch the brim of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. “Just let me go.”

“No,” Zay strains out. “I’m not about to let you go so you can do something stupid and run out of this house.”

I glare at him. “If I want to leave, I will.”

Anger blazes in his eyes. “If you leave, you’ll fucking die. Don’t you get it? Those monsters are just the start of a deadly game that nearly got us all killed once and made it so we lost you. And it’s not going to happen again, even if I have to tie you to the damn bed and never let you go!” he yells.

“I …” The blood in my ears is roaring so deafeningly that I can’t think straight.

Hunter suddenly appears beside Zay and sets his hand on his shoulder. “Zay, take a deep breath.”

Strangely, Zay does what Hunter says, inhaling and exhaling shakily.

“Good,” Hunter says while looking at him. “Now, let her go.”

Zay shakes his head, his gaze fused to mine. “I can’t,” he chokes out.

Part of me wants to tell him he better do it, but I can’t get the words to leave my lips, his words replaying in my mind.

Deadly game.

Nearly got us all killed once.

Made it so we lost you.

And he’s trembling.

Badly.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

Just how bad is this game? What was I to them in the past? What happened?

The latter is the million-dollar question.

“Yes, you can,” Hunter assures him. “Our Raven isn’t going anywhere.” He looks at me, his eyes begging for me to agree with him. “Right, baby?”

I smash my lips together, fighting every instinct I have to tell him to hell no. I possibly would have if another memory didn’t slam against my mind just then.

“I promise nothing bad will ever happen to you,” the boy says to me. “I’ll die first before I let it.”

“Why would you ever do that?” I reply, feeling so confused over what he said.

He stares at the ground. “Because you’re the only thing in this world that’s ever made me feel happy.”

I blink from the memory, unsure who the boy is. However, my money is on either Zay, Hunter, or Jax, knowing that, at some point in my life, they had cared about me.

I had been cared about.

I’m unsure what that even feels like anymore.

Swallowing hard, I steady my voice. “I won’t go anywhere … I promise.”

Hunter offers me a grateful look before redirecting his attention back to Zay. “See? Everything’ll be okay. But she does need to get dressed so we can leave for the party. The last thing we want is to be late.”

Zay stares at me with his jaw clenched. Finally, he tears his gaze off me and removes his fingers from my wrist. “Fine.” He takes a step back from me then rubs his hand across his head while staring at the floor.

Hunter turns to me and offers a small smile. “You should get changed. We need to leave soon.”

“Okay … But I’m going to need you guys to step out of the room so I can,” I point out, still perplexed over what just happened.

Up until that point, I had thought Zay loathed me. In that moment, though, I felt some sort of desperation, as if he wanted to latch onto me and never let me go. It was intense and overwhelming and … Well, I’m not sure what to make of it.

Hunter glances at Zay, whose gaze remains on the floor, tension flowing from his body. Then he looks back at me, leans in, and lowers his voice. “Can you just change in the closet?” he begs. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I really think he just needs to be close enough to you right now so that he knows you’re okay.”

I sneak a glance at Zay to find him looking at me. When our gazes lock, he looks away.

I return my attention to Hunter. “I’ll do it, but you need to give me some sort of explanation to some of this. All of this is overwhelming enough, but now it’s even worse not totally understanding what’s going on with us.”

“I know.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “We’ll give you some answers soon.”

“Okay,” I say, hoping I can trust him. And part of me does.

The other part has this sinking feeling that I might be smackdab in the middle of one huge, deadly lie.