The Raven Game by Jessica Sorensen

Jax

My heart is so fucking loud today. Usually, it’s quieter. So is my mind. I fucking hate it.

“I need a drink,” I mumble as I stand near the sofa, staring down at Raven.

She passed out and, for a fucking horrifying moment, I thought she was dead. But she’s still breathing, and her pulse is steady, which leaves the question of …

“What do you think’s wrong with her?” Hunter moves up beside me and hands me a glass of whiskey.

The air is chilly due to a lot of the windows in the house having been shattered when the shadowed blood feeders broke in here. The alarm never went off, so someone had to have hacked into it. More than likely someone who works for our fathers.

“It has to do with being clawed.” I take the drink from him and down half of it.

He rubs his nose a few times, probably because he snuck away to do a few lines. It’s a bad habit of his, just like alcohol is for me, and for Zay, it’s cutting and his anger. Although, anger is probably an issue for all of us. We just have different ways of releasing it, and Zay is more violent about it.

“I just can’t remember what.” I gulp down the rest of my drink, set the glass down, and then approach the sofa. My legs are a bit shaky, but I try to ignore it, just like I attempt to disregard the whispering in my head, the reminders of everything I’ve tried to forget about the games, about what was done to us, about what we did to her.

Ravenlee Wilowwynter, the only girl I ever cared for.

The girl who the three of us broke.

Betrayed.

We fucking betrayed her in the worst way possible. And I’ve spent years burying what we did to her, pretending it never happened. Forgetting.

But now I remember, and it’s tearing underneath my skin.

Hunter was right; I was afraid to admit that Raven probably was the girl, because it meant I’d have to face my sins. But like they always do, our fathers took that choice away from me. It’s probably what I deserve.

I sink onto the edge of the sofa beside her. “Wake up, beautiful girl,” I say softly, well aware that Hunter can hear me. But I don’t give a shit at the moment. In front of others, I’ll be my indifferent self, but right now, I need a break from holding the cracks together that consume the inside of me. Raven cracked them open even more when she looked me in the eye and said those words to me before she passed out.

“I always thought you had such sad, pretty eyes,” she mumbles as her eyelids start to lower. “Oh … that’s what that look is … Sadness …”

She saw it—what I try so hard to hide. What she doesn’t know yet, though, is that a lot of that sadness that I keep hidden has to do with her and what we did to her.

“You okay?” Hunter asks cautiously from behind me.

I bob my head up and down then reach forward and brush my hand across her cheek. “Did you hear what she said to me before she blacked out?”

“I did,” he answers. “She used to say that to you, right?”

I nod. “She did.”

Silence briefly stretches between us, the only sound coming from Raven’s soft breathing.

“Maybe we should take her to a hospital,” Zay finally says, sinking down at the foot of the sofa beside Raven’s feet, his eyes fastened on her.

“I don’t think that’ll do any good,” I tell him. “I don’t think this is a medical thing.”

He tears his gaze off her and looks at me. “What sort of thing do you think it is?”

I waver, not wanting to say it, but knowing it’s probably what needs to be said. “I think we’re going to have to go to our fathers. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what all this is about.”

“You think they went through all this trouble just so that we’d call them?” Hunter questions, rounding to the back of the sofa and resting his arms on it. “We call them all the time.”

I waver. “I don’t think this is just about calling them. I think this was a message.” I shift my weight and dig my phone out of my pocket.

“You’re seriously going to call them?” Hunter questions warily while unfolding and folding his arms, practically jumping out of his skin.

Sucking in a breath, I nod and dial my father’s number. “I think it’s what we’re supposed to do.”

“Well, they could’ve just asked us to call them,” Zay grumbles, slanting forward and resting his arms on his knees.

“I think there’s more to it than that,” I tell him. “I think the game has started and that was the first round.”

Zay darts his gaze to me, fear blazing in his eyes. “But we didn’t even agree to play.”

“Did we ever?” Hunter mumbles. “What I want to know is why they decided to restart it? Why now?”

“Maybe because Raven’s back,” I say as the line rings.

Hunter looks at me. “You think they brought her here so they could restart the game? If so, why would they ask us to look into her and her family?”

“To have us get close to her,” Zay says while staring down at the floor. “She was part of our team once … until we …” He shakes his head. “I hate that I can remember it now. I want to forget again.” He lowers his head into his hands and mutters something else.

“You know,” Hunter says. “If we all started remembering when that song was playing, it probably means there’s a trigger to erase the memories.”

“So, you want to forget again, too?” I question with an arch of my brow, the phone continuing to ring.

It’s weird that he’s not picking up and that it’s not going to voicemail.

Hunter wavers, his gaze dropping to Raven. “I don’t know …” He presses his lips together and inhales through his nose. “Maybe the parts about what we did to her. But maybe we deserve to remember that.”

I open my mouth to … I’m not sure. Maybe tell him he’s wrong. But honestly, I think he might be right. I never get the words out, though, because my father finally answers.

“I was expecting your call a little bit later,” he says in that smug tone that I loathe. “You must have passed the first round much quicker than I thought.”

I grind my teeth. “Why were we even forced to play a round at all? We got out of the game, remember? Back when we made that deal with you.” Back when we screwed Raven over.

“That deal had an expiration date,” he replies. “It expired a few months ago, not that you would’ve remembered at the time.”

“Yeah, well, I remember now.” I rise to my feet. “What the hell did you do to us? Why couldn’t we remember much of anything until now?”

“Well, personally, I wanted you to remember earlier so we could start up the game, but there were hiccups in our plans,” he replies. “It took us a while to figure out those hiccups, but I’m glad to see we fixed them. How does it feel to be back, Jaxon? To have that darkness that’s been living inside you come out to feed?”

Rage pulsates in my body. “Go to hell. I’m done talking to you.”

I’m usually more cautious than this. Usually the most rational. But I don’t feel like myself anymore, like I’ve become unhinged and all those damn emotions I’ve kept hidden are rushing over me, all at the same time.

I move to hang up, saying to hell with the consequences, when he quickly says, “I’m the only one who knows how to save her.”

I pause, my heart thrashing in my chest. “Save who?” I already know the answer. The fucker has been toying with me. He knows exactly what is happening.

“That beautiful little raven that you guys broke all those years ago,” he says in a sickly pleased tone. “Although, she’s not so little now. Neither are you. So, I’m curious to hear your answer to this question now, over a decade later. Will it be the same as last time? Or will you guys pick a different, less selfish and more noble path? Honestly, I’m guessing you won’t, but some bet you will—that you guys, being older, will change the outcome of this.”

“Bet?” I ask. “You mean …” I can’t even get the words out.

“Yes, you’re still in round one,” he tells me. “We’re all watching you right now to see how it ends—to see if the game ends.”

“Jax,” Hunter whispers, “what the hell is going on?”

Zay looks at me for the answer to that question, too.

“I …” I trail off, gritting my teeth, knowing what I have to do.

I remove the phone from my ear and put it on speakerphone so they can all hear, hear what I already know is coming. The question that we were asked all those years ago that ended the game the first time.

“Good, you’ve put us on speakerphone,” my father’s voice fills the room.

Hunter’s eyes widen as he catches on, and then I watch his gaze travel across the room, probably searching for extra cameras hidden somewhere. In reality, they probably just hacked our own system and are using it against us. That’ll be fixed, though, the moment we hang up.

“I was just about to ask Jax a question, but I guess, if we want to do the experiment right, you all need to be part of it since you were all involved with the decision last time,” my father continues. “The game has started again, my sons, and like we did in round five the last time, I’m giving you a choice. I’m doing it much earlier this time, though, for reasons that I won’t disclose at the moment. The question is simple in theory, but if you all can remember enough, you know it’s not as easy as it seems. The question: are you ready to end the game? If you say yes, you are free to leave town, and you will never hear from us again. However, that beautiful little raven you’ve got lying on your sofa right now will become mine.”

“Wait …” Hunter interrupts. “That’s not how it worked last time.”

No, it’s not. Last time, Raven got to leave. Although, something was done to her. Something awful that we don’t even know the details to. All we know is that we traded our freedom in exchange for her suffering. For how long, we’re not sure. And what was done to her, again, we’re not sure.

What I do know is that I’ve hated myself because of it. Even when I couldn’t fully remember, I drank away the pain and forced myself to a life of misery.

“No, it’s not,” my dad says. “And I should warn you that the game will not work completely the same as last time.”

“Why do you want her?” Zay asks as he restlessly bounces his knee up and down.

“I have my reasons,” he says in a weird, almost frustrated tone.

Odd. My dad rarely sounds like that.

Hunter and Zay notice, too, and trade a look with me. None of us react, though, since we’re being watched.

“What’s the other option?” I ask, fairly certain I know the answer already.

“That part is the same as last time,” my father says. “You can keep the girl for yourselves, but you’ll have to play the game to the end and survive.”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart is beating so loudly that I can barely hear anything else.

The game.

The game of deadly obstacles.

The game of death and betrayal.

“I should also add that other families’ children will be playing, as well,” my father continues. “We made the agreement just this morning.”

That kind of surprises me. Usually, the families avoid each other like the plague.

“Why Raven, then?” I ask. “What does she have to do with this?”

“That will be revealed in time,” he says. “Right now, I just need your answer. If you choose the first, I need you to pack up and leave town. If it’s the latter, then I will send the antidote to you so you can revive your beautiful bird. Once that happens, the game will officially start.”

Swallowing down the thickness in my throat, I look at Hunter and Zay. They’re already looking at me, their unspoken leader who decided the answer the last time we were faced with this question. And then I spent over a decade living in guilt and self-torment, so now …

“What do you guys want to do?” I ask.

Hunter looks pale, like really fucking pale, to the point that I think he’s going to pass out. “I don’t want to play again,” he chokes out, looking at Raven, “but I can’t let your dad have her … I can’t betray her again. I’m sorry.”

I cross my arms, trying to conceal how shaky I feel, then fix my gaze on Zay. “How about you?”

He taps his foot against the floor several times. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.” He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands. “We’ve been wanting to get out of this town forever and now’s our chance. And I want to say let’s do it for us … so we can finally be free.” He pauses, and I know what’s coming. And, while I feel like I should be surprised, I’m not.

Zay may not usually give a shit about others, but I saw the way he held Raven against himself when she was freezing to death. I think, even then, he may have had a feeling she was the girl from the past.

He stops bouncing his knees and lowers his hands. “I say we play the stupid fucking game.”

They both look at me then. If we don’t agree, I know they’ll take my side. It’s in our pact to stick together. And part of me desperately wants to, to finally be free. We’ve done it before, sacrificed Raven for ourselves, and I’ve made myself the kind of person who would do it again. At least, that’s what I thought. But there’s confliction in me now, which grows as I look at Raven lying on the couch, so innocent and unaware of everything. It would be so easy to agree, to snap her wings in half while she sleeps, then walk away without ever having to see the consequences. And as my lips part, I half-expect myself to say let’s leave.

“Jax, why are you so nice to me?” Raven asks as we wander through the forest.

I stuff my hands into my pockets. “I’m not nice,” I grumble, feeling squirmy over her words.

I wasn’t raised to be nice.

I’m not supposed to be nice.

My father will beat me if he hears that I am.

“Yes, you are,” she disagrees. Then she leans over and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, though; I’ll protect your secret.” Then she kisses my cheek and leans back, smiling at me …

I blink from the memory, my heart racing.

“All right, let’s fucking play,” I say, sealing all our fates to probably what will be a slow and painful death.

But maybe they were always sealed to that to begin with.