The Raven Game by Jessica Sorensen

Zay

Everyone thinks I’m a scary motherfucker. And I am, because I do my best to be one. I don’t know how to be any other way and, for the most part, it’s been fine. Then Raven came along, and it’s messing with my head.

It’s not like I like her or anything like that. It’s that stupid feeling that I know her. I’d chalk it up to be being weird, but then Hunter showed us that pendant Raven found back at her house that her uncle was apparently trying to burn. That feather-shaped pendant looks so much like the one we gave the girl from the past, the one that none of us can remember her name. The faded girl from my even more faded memories. She’s an image so worn that I can barely remember her, yet she haunts almost every inch of my mind, which I know doesn’t really make sense. I think it’s that way because I can’t remember parts of my life. I’ve tried therapy, and it helped in some ways, except for when it comes to that girl.

“Raven has to be her,” Hunter mutters as we discuss why on earth Raven would know that nursery rhyme. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

We’re in the room we have most of our meetings in, the one with soundproofed walls and no cameras. It has a passcode entrance, and no one knows the code except for the three of us.

“Just because she knows a nursery rhyme, doesn’t mean she’s the girl from our past,” Jax replies as he leans back in the leather sofa with his arms crossed. “Everyone who lives in Honeyton knows that stupid rhyme.”

“Which means she’s been here before,” Hunter stresses as he slants forward in the chair and rests his arms on top of his knees. “Yet she doesn’t think she has.”

“Or she’s lying about it,” Jax states, reaching for his drink on the table beside him. “She’s so evasive about everything that she very well could be.”

Hunter shakes his head. “Or she could be telling the truth. She could be her. And I think you already are thinking that. I think you just don’t want to admit it yet because it’s going to force you to face a lot of things you’ve been avoiding for years.”

Hunter is probably right. We’ve all been that way. And if Raven is the girl from our past, it’s going to … Well, I’m not sure if it’ll heal us or break us. It all really depends.

Jax studies him for a moment. “You know what I think? You’re getting too attached to her already.”

“I am not,” Hunter insists, tension flowing off of him.

Jax narrows his eyes at Hunter. “I saw you kiss her in the car.”

My gaze darts to Hunter. “You fucking kissed her again?”

“Maybe …” Hunter pauses, frowning. Then he shakes the look off and sits up straighter. “You know what? Yeah, I kissed her. A few times, actually. But why does it even matter? You’re the one who said I’m supposed to teach her how to flirt.”

“Yeah, flirt,” Jax stresses, the muscle in his jaw pulsating. “Not make out with her multiple times.”

“I didn’t really mean for it to happen. Or, well, the first time I kissed her I didn’t …” Hunter sighs, staring down at his hands. “I just … I feel this weird connection to her.”

“So do I,” I mumble. “But that doesn’t mean I just go around kissing her.”

“You don’t kiss anyone,” Hunter reminds me. “I have a feeling, though, that maybe you’ll finally break that habit with Raven.”

I grind my teeth together, knowing he may very well be right. Deep down, I want to kiss Raven, crash my lips against hers and see what it feels like. “We made a rule not to kiss her or hook up with her, and here you are just a day later, breaking the rules.”

“You sound jealous,” Hunter states with a challenge in his eyes.

I glare at him, and he glares right back.

“And this is why I made the rule to begin with—to avoid drama like this,” Jax grumbles then fixes his gaze on Hunter. “Look, I think you might just think you feel a connection to her because you think it’s the girl from our past. I think you’re hoping it’s her so that maybe you can get that redemption you’ve admitted you want. But only idiots hope for things. You should know that by now.”

Hunter scowls at Jax. “I’m not just hoping. Raven has the pendant we gave the girl. And Zay could find hardly anything about Raven in her earlier past, so we don’t even know where she really came from. Plus, she can’t remember much about her past. Just like us. That can’t be a coincidence.”

“None of that means she’s the girl from our past,” Jax insists with his arms crossed. “You’re reaching. You know you are.”

“No, I know I would be except for that pendant,” Hunter snaps. “That fucking pendant, Jax, with the mark on it. That’s not a freaking coincidence, and deep down, you know it. You’re just too scared to admit it because it means a lot of things are about to change. And it means our bosses might be reinstating that fucking game.” He shakes his head with his jaw set tight. “And it means that you’re going to have to finally face all that damn fear you’ve been burying.”

Jax gives him a murderous look. “I’m never scared.”

“Not about most things,” Hunter says. “But if Raven is the girl from the game, it means that all those sins we’ve spent years avoiding are back, and we might actually have to deal with them. And that sort of stuff is scary for you, whether you’ll admit it or not.”

Silence stretches between the two of them as they stare each other down hard. Tension is building between them, and I can feel it in my own body.

Unlike these two, I can’t remember as much about that game and that girl. Sure, none of us can remember all the details, but for some reason, my mind is full of more holes than theirs. My therapist once suggested that trauma is what caused the memory loss. Hunter has been told the same thing. Jax probably would be, too, if he’d go to a therapist, but he’s too stubborn.

Still, sometimes I can recall bits and pieces; sharp images that send so much pain through me that I sometimes split my skin open and try to bleed them out. It never works, but it does give me a brief moment of relief. And right now, I’m craving that relief, craving the bite of a razor against my skin. I know if I get up, though, Hunter and Jax will suspect where I’m going and stop me. So, I collect my drink from off the table, lean back in the sofa, and take a sip, trying to burn the images out of my mind with alcohol, along with the jealousy I feel that Hunter kissed Raven.

The movement draws Jax’s attention.

“You’re being awfully quiet.” He swirls the ice around in his glass then takes a drink, waiting for me to explain my silence.

I lift a shoulder. “I’m just thinking.”

His brow arches. “About what?”

I shrug again, the movement stiff. “How I think that Hunter might be right. I think Raven is the girl … And I think he’s also right about why you won’t admit this,” I add in a mutter, scratching the side of my neck so roughly I break skin. “I think you’re afraid of what her return means, not just with the bosses, but with us.”

A stillness wraps around the air.

See? That’s the thing. Everyone thinks I’m a scary motherfucker. And I am. But Jax is worse. Way, way worse. In fact, sometimes he makes me look like a lovable puppy.

Hunter and I both wait for him to say something—anything—but he just sits there quietly with this unsettled look on his face. Who knows if he ever would’ve said anything or if he’d just ended up sitting there, staring at us intimidatingly, but his phone buzzes, distracting him before we ever get to find out.

“Porter is having a party,” Jax mumbles as he reads the text. “We should hit it up and get that task crossed off the list.”

“When’s the party?” Hunter asks as he fiddles with a leather band on his wrist.

“Tonight.” Jax pockets his phone then stands, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

“Tonight?” Hunter questions. “I don’t really think Raven will be ready to play Porter tonight.”

“Or maybe you just don’t want her to be ready?” Jax challenges.

“I really don’t think she is, either,” I say, stuffing my hands into my back pockets.

Hunter gives me a suspicious, knowing look, to which I respond with a dirty glare.

“Yeah, you might be right,” Jax caves.

“What?” Hunter exaggeratedly widens his eyes. “Did you just say I’m right?”

Jax completely ignores him. “She’s very innocent. At first, I thought it was an act, but I don’t think it is now, and now I’m wondering if she’s going to be able to pull this thing off with Porter at all.”

“You still think that after what Hunter and her did?” My irritation shows in my voice, and it pisses me off.

“I do,” Jax tells me then glides his gaze to Hunter. “But he probably knows better than I do.”

We both look at Hunter for conformation. The fucker drags his hand across his mouth, I think to conceal a smile.

“That was definitely her first real kiss,” he says after lowering his hand. “Not that it was a bad kiss … It was just so …” He presses his lips together. “New. For her, anyway … She tasted damn good, though.”

My jaw ticks while Jax stares at him with an indecipherable look on his face. I expect him to chew Hunter out for that little remark, but he surprisingly doesn’t.

“Guess it’s probably a good thing you think that,” Jax finally says. “Because you have about eight hours to teach her how to seduce Porter enough to convince him to fuck her.”

Hunter’s eyes widen. So do mine.

“What?” we both say.

“She’s not going to be able to do that, man,” Hunter says with a huge amount of confidence.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Jax picks up his drink and down it in three gulps before setting the glass back down. “It doesn’t really matter. We don’t really need her to fuck Porter. He just needs to believe she will so she can get him into a bedroom and drug him.”

“You want Raven to drug Porter? That’s your brilliant plan to get information from him?” Hunter questions flatly. “And if she gets caught drugging him, the Aversonlys will destroy her.” As Jax’s lips part, Hunter holds up his hands. “And before you start in on your whole I-don’t-really-give-a-shit speech, let me remind you that Raven’s part of our group now, so we owe her protection, something I’ve stressed to you several times. Plus, if she is the girl from our past, then …” He pauses a beat to take an uneven breath. “Well, we owe her more than protection.”

“We don’t know if she’s the girl yet. We need to look into that more. But you’re right about her being part of our group, which is why we’re gonna use this when she drugs him.” Jax walks over to remove one of the portraits hanging on the wall. Behind it is where one of our many safes are hidden. But out of all the safes, this one contains some of my least favorite stuff.

“Goddammit,” I grumble. “Do we have to do it this way?”

“We do if you wanna make sure Porter doesn’t remember anything about what Raven—or us—do to him,” he says as he spins the combination to the safe. “And we do if we want to meet our deadline with getting the info to our bosses.”

I’m conflicted, which is a new feeling for me. On the one hand, I know we need to do this in order to get the info so we can keep up on our end of the deal and be able to leave this hellhole when we graduate. On the other hand, guilt prickles under my skin. It pisses me off. Well, mostly. Honestly, it kind of confuses the hell out of me.

Jax reaches into the safe and removes a glass vial filled with a clear, almost crystal-like liquid, and then another that’s filled with Sleeping Kiss.

“You wanna use the Forget Me Not and Sleeping Kiss?” I question. “If we mess up the dosage even a little bit, we could end up killing him.”

“We have to use both—one to knock him out, and the other to erase his memory of what we’re going to do to him.” Jax wraps his fingers around the vial. “And if he dies, technically, Raven will be the one responsible for his death.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Shaking his head, Hunter strides for the door.

“Where are you going?” Jax calls out after him.

He grips the doorknob. “I’m going to go teach Raven …” He blows out a breath as he jerks open the door. “I’m going to go teach her how to drug someone properly.”

“Those weren’t the orders,” Jax yells after him.

Hunter just flips him the middle finger without looking back and storms out into the hallway, leaving the door open.

“He’s going to screw this up for us,” Jax mumbles with a shake of his head.

“You’re the one who’s suggesting we use some pretty potent drugs to dope up one of our enemies. And so we can what? Question him while he’s all drugged out? Other drugs’ll do the same thing and are way more inconspicuous.”

His brow meticulously arches. “But those other drugs won’t make him forget everything, will they?”

I press my lips together then shake my head.

He pockets the vial. “You know I’m right.”

“No, I really don’t,” I say. “And this isn’t like you. You usually want nothing to do with the drugs our fathers have created.” None of us do, and for a good reason.

Because their drug business was built upon blood.

Upon sacrifice.

Upon pain.

Our blood, our sacrifice, our pain.

“Yeah, well, stuff changes when you’re …” Jax abruptly trails off, cocking his head toward the door. “Do you hear that?”

“Yeah, it’s the sound of self-destruction,” I mumble, annoyed with him.

He rolls his eyes then steps toward the doorway. “There’s music playing from somewhere.”

I listen for a moment; at first not hearing it, but when I do, my blood runs cold.

“Jax …” I swallow forcefully. “It’s the song … The song from the game.”

Every single one of Jax’s muscles wind into knots as he looks at me. For a moment, neither of us speak until reality sinks in. Then we both move simultaneously, hurrying out the door and into the hallway.

I glance from left to right. “Where’s Hunter?”

“I have no idea, but we need to find him,” Jax mumbles as he takes off to the left down the hallway.

I follow him, moving through the house as silently as possible until we reach the corner of the hallway that turns into the area where Jax’s torture chamber is.

“Is it coming from the room?” I whisper lowly as we stop at the edge of the corner.

“Yeah, I think it is.” Hunter’s voice flows from over my shoulder.

I reel around, one step away from punching him.

He elevates his hands in front of him. “What the fuck, Zay?”

“Don’t what the fuck me.” I lower my fist. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

Hunter rolls his eyes. “You’re so damn jumpy sometimes.”

“Listen to the music, Hunter,” I stress. “There’s a reason to be jumpy.”

He swallows audibly. “Where do you think it’s coming from?”

“I’m not sure. None of the security alarms have gone off, so no one has broken in,” Jax states. “The only other person here is Raven.” Suspicion rises in his eyes, then he steps around the corner, his face paling at something down at the end of the hallway. “Fuck.”

I step out, too, and then I swallow hard at the sight of a phone sitting on the floor. The music is clearly playing from it.

“Where the hell is Raven?” I mumble, tension rippling through my body. “And why is that song playing from her phone?” Pressure builds in my chest as the answer to my question flows through my mind.

Because Raven is the girl from our past, the girl from the game. And that song means that our bosses have reactivated the game.

Hunter starts shaking his head as he takes a step back. “No. I’m not going to fucking play it again. I won’t. I refuse. I don’t care if they make it part of the deal to get out of here. I won’t do it. We weren’t ever supposed to have to play again.”

Apparently, he arrived at the same conclusion as me.

“Calm down,” Jax says, attempting to appear indifferent, like he usually does. But I detect the slightest trace of nervousness in his expression.

“I’m not going to calm down,” Hunter snaps at him. Then he starts to pace while yanking his fingers through his hair. “No. No. No. I’m not going to do it.”

Jax looks at me. “We need to calm him down.”

I’m about to agree, even though I’m panicking myself, when the song clicks on again, only louder this time. And not because the volume of Raven’s phone is turned up. No, it’s louder because it’s now playing from the house speakers.

Panic flares through my body, and I step back until my back bumps up against the wall.

While our bosses may not have informed us yet, that song indicates that we’re going to be forced to play that damn game again. I say forced because it’s probably already started, and if it has, there’s no way out. That much I can remember about my past.

In fact, as the song continues to play, images I have long forgotten—probably intentionally—fill my head.

People are watching as we run through the forest—Jax, Hunter, and I, along with a little girl with hair like raven feathers.

Raven.

Kill them.

Murder them.

Or be murdered.

Play the game to the death.

The last few standing live.

People are also watching from cameras mounted to the trees. They paid to watch this. Paid to watch death and blood and horror paint the land.

“I can’t,” I choke out, throwing my hands over my ears, trying to block out the noise. “I don’t want to remember.”

Jax pales as he looks at me, realization dawning. “Take a deep breath!” he shouts over the music. “Just block it out—”

The words abruptly fade from his lips as he stiffens.

Hunter stops pacing, his gaze darting to something behind Jax.

I turn to see what’s going on, and my heart slams against my chest.

Raven is standing behind Jax, wide-eyed, her expression filled with rage. And she has a knife in her hand.

A knife pointed at Jax’s back.