Grand Love by JC Hawke
31
Mase
Six hours.Six agonising hours of waiting. Nina wasn’t breathing when we arrived at the hospital. What I witnessed in the ambulance isn’t something I’ll ever forget. The way the paramedics worked on her relentlessly shook me to my core. I’m surrounded by our families now, every one of them completely shattered as we sit in the waiting room.
Elliot drops down in the seat next to me, his hands running through his hair as he pulls at it. “I can’t take much more of this,” he mutters.
I don’t answer him, not having the words to ease the pain that’s embedded itself inside of me and probably him too. Lucy is lying with her eyes closed on the row of waiting chairs opposite us. She’s been the calmest of us all, eerily so. It’s almost like she isn’t here, and I wonder as I sit watching her if there’s a way to follow her to wherever she is right now.
Megan hasn’t stopped crying since she arrived. She’s sat with Vinny who I can barely make eye contact with. Charlie’s on his phone out in the hallway, already in work mode and prepared to fight for our best friend. I have no idea what Lance was thinking, and I don’t have the mental energy to process his actions right now. Then there’s Scarlet. She sits resting her head on her hand as she stares at the ground, her eyes wild and agitated.
“I’m going to go find someone,” I snap, shrugging off Elliot’s hand when he grabs my shoulder.
“Lowell, they’re going to kick you out.”
“I can’t just sit here!” I take a deep breath, my chest tight.
Scarlet comes to stand at my side. She looks up at me with understanding in her eyes. “I’ll go check with the nurses, see what I can find out.”
“I’m coming with you,” I tell her.
She nods, her face pale, drained of its usual spark.
We leave the waiting room and make our way to the nurse’s station where they all gaze at us with pity-filled looks. “Mr Lowell, I’m sorry but there’s still no news.”
“Ah, actually.” I spin around as I hear the deep voice at my back. A man in scrubs is exiting the elevator, his lips pulled tight into a hard line. “Are you Miss Anderson’s next of kin?” he asks.
I shake my head, anger lacing my voice. “She’s my fiancée, please, just tell me.”
He clasps a hand on my shoulder and stares down at me, before nodding politely at Scarlet. “Hello.” He starts to walk me down the corridor. “Let’s talk somewhere a little more private, okay?”
I’m about ready to brawl, needing to know how and where Nina is, when Scarlet’s hand takes mine. She squeezes tight but doesn’t look up at me. Is it bad? Does she know?
We’re led into a room with a horseshoe of seats and nothing else. It’s like the waiting room we were ushered into by the nurses down the hall but smaller. None of us sit down. My entire body trembles, my stomach churning as it readies itself for what’s about to come.
“Nina is stable—”
“Fuck,” I hiss out, clearing my throat and covering my face as I drop back to the chair.
“She isn’t completely out of the woods yet. She lost a lot of blood and will need to be monitored over the next forty-eight hours. We aren’t sure yet as to the extent of the damage it will cause her long term, but, and it’s not a but I give out often, she is extremely strong. I feel positive with the situation we are in at this point.”
I stand. “I want to see her.”
“You can’t. Not yet,” Scarlet tells me sadly.
The doctor watches Scarlet for a moment, then looks at me. “Nina’s in recovery. She won’t be able to have visitors until she wakes up. And then I’d like her to have at least an hour’s rest before anyone but my team goes in.”
“I’m not waiting that long.” I shake my head. There’s no way I can go that long.
“Right now, Mr Lowell—”
“It’s Mason,” I snap.
“My only concern is for Nina. Her recovery will be very dependent on the next twelve hours, and I will not, under any circumstances, put her at risk.” He nods his head, an apology of sorts. “The minute I have more news, I will have them call down to you. You should get home and get some rest.”
Lifting my hands, I scrub at my face, completely drained from the emotions that have left me half the man I was yesterday. How can things go so wrong?
“Thank you,” Scarlet says, following him to the door and shutting it behind him. I watch her with my hands linked behind my head as she turns around. My eyes burn, and no matter how hard I try to stop the lump in my throat from breaking the dam, I can’t. Everything blurs.
“We were so damn close, Scar.”
“Mase.” She comes to me, wrapping me in her arms.
“I can’t do this without her.”
“It’s going to be okay,” she soothes. “It’s going to be okay.”
We go back to the waiting room where Scarlet tells the others what the doctor said. “We should go home, get some rest and be ready for their call.” Scarlet looks to me, knowing I won’t leave. “Or at least take it in turns.”
I shake my head and then go to stand at the window. It’s as if everything is at a standstill. The world outside and everything inside of me. Nothing is right, and it’s all I can think about. I just need everything to be okay.
“Mase, you’re going to stay?”
I look down at Megan as she slides a hand around my bicep. She looks as ruined as I feel. “Yeah.”
“I’m going to check in with Maggie and John, make sure Ellis is alright. Is there anything you need from home?”
My eyes burn at the mention of Ellis’s name. Jesus, why can’t I get a handle on my emotions. I rub at my eyes. “No, thank you, though.” I want to tell her to give him a kiss from me, to tell him Mummy will be home soon, but I don’t trust myself to voice it. I pull Megan into my side and tell her everything I can in my embrace, hoping she will go hold my son until his mummy can.
“She’ll be okay, Mase. I can feel it in my bones.”
I nod, squeezing her shoulder and catching Charlie’s eye behind her. Charlie Aldridge has to be one of the strongest men I’ve ever met. He is sensitive, intuitive yet can stand here and take control; he doesn’t have room for the emotions that I know will be killing him inside. Instead, he acts as a pillar holding up the dark that threatens to fall on us. Today would have been much different without him.
“I’ll drive the girls back,” he tells me, his voice strong. “Call me if anything changes.”
“Yeah.”
He pulls me into a hug and then guides Megan out of the room. Elliot is crouched down in front of Lucy who is still lying across the seats.
“I’m going to go home and shower,” Scarlet tells me. She has Elliot’s jumper thrown over her, but I know she has blood on her top beneath it. A mixture of Nina’s and Joey’s. “Unless you want me to stay?”
“No, you go Scar. Is Vinny driving you?”
“Yeah.”
“Elliot,” I call. He looks over his shoulder at me. “I’ve got her.” I nod to Lucy.
He straightens, his eyes falling back to her. “I’m going to stay too. I’m going to get us some food. You guys need to eat.”
I roll my lips and nod my head even though he doesn’t see. I can’t think about food. I can’t imagine anything I eat staying in my stomach if I wanted to eat.
Vinny doesn’t speak as he walks by me, and I know everything that’s happened will be weighing heavy on him. He’ll blame himself for not pinning down Sarah sooner, but I already know it’s all on me. I never should have meddled.
I stand looking out the window as the room empties, quietness falling heavy when it’s just me and Lucy left. She hasn’t said more than a couple words since she turned up. I know her silence comes from a place of pain. She’s hurting, needing something only her best friend can give her.
Like Elliot, I crouch down in front of her, waiting. I place a hand on the side of her face and her icy blue eyes drift open and land on mine. I give her a small smile, telling her I get it. I feel the same.
She lifts her neck from the seat and I slide in under her, letting her rest her head on my thigh.
“I’ve sat in so many waiting rooms impatient for the doctor to come back so he can tell us what’s wrong with her.” She sniggers under her breath, her tears seeping through my jeans. “Always ready to go get ice cream with Mum or have her come home to us for the weekend.” I sit quiet as her voice struggles to fill the room. “She’s the best person I know, Mason. How does this happen to someone so good? There are so many bad people in this world. Why her?”
“I don’t have the answers. I wish I did, but I don’t,” I say in a pained daze, imagining Nina as a child.
“She would know. She always has the answers.”
My head drops back to the wall, my eyes drifting closed.
Wake up, Angel.
* * *
“Mase.”
I jolt awake, my eyes flicking open to find Elliot standing in front of me. A nurse is hovering at his side, smiling softly at me. I sit up in a rush, my neck jolting in pain from the unnatural way I’d been sitting. I remember Lucy on my lap and slow my movements, grasping her upper arm to steady myself.
“What is it?” I rush out. My heart is pounding. Adrenaline has my eyes flicking wildly between them.
“It’s Nina.” A grin stretches wide across his face. “She’s awake.”
* * *
“You said she was awake!”I whisper-shout at Elliot as we stand outside of Nina’s hospital room. The doctor arrived at the same time we did and the nurse informed us all that Nina had gone back to sleep. They’re in her room now, doing an assessment on her.
“She was! I spoke to her,” Elliot says.
“What?” I snap. “What did she say?!”
“She told me I was beautiful,” he tells me proudly, a smirk on his face.
“Fuck off!”
“Straight up. She said, ‘You’re so beautiful, Ell.’ Then I ran to get you.”
Fuck! I just need to see her. “Why won’t they let me see her?!”
Lucy gives me a hopeful look. “It won’t be long now. Try and stay calm.”
“Never in the history of life has someone stayed calm after being told to stay calm, Lucy!”
The back of Elliot’s hand meets my chest. “Don’t speak to her like that.”
Not being able to wait any longer, I walk to the door and push it open. I try to calm my movements, not wanting to rush into the room like the maniac I feel, but my entire body vibrates as I stand on the threshold.
All eyes in the room flick to me. All the eyes. But my gaze is stuck on the most perfect—captivating of them all. Nina is lying back in the bed, her head turned to the side as she looks towards me in the doorway.
She smiles.
She fucking smiles, and it’s just about all my heart can take.
“Hey, Bossman,” she whispers, her lips barely moving.
Raising my hand, I rub across the ache that threatens to crack my chest in two. She’s okay. My shoulders drop, relief pouring out of me with every step I take towards her. I crouch at her bedside, my forehead dropping to hers. Tears fall from her eyes, but still, she smiles. It might not be the big dimple popping smile I crave on the daily, but to think no more than twelve hours ago she was sprawled on her apartment floor dying and now she is here, eyes open and fucking smiling at me.
“Jesus Christ, Angel.”
* * *
Nina
Mason’s handis clutched in mine, his eyes locked tight. I search his face, not being able to take my eyes off him. “Mase,” I whisper, a tear sliding into the line of my mouth. I roll my lips, sniffling as he takes a sharp breath in. “Mase, look at me.”
I remember when I first met my Mase. Leant against the top of his flashy car, staring up through that low brow at me—cocky smirk in place. His eyes were so clear and sure. A man who knew exactly what he wanted. Smoothing my finger over his dark, looming brow, I glide it down to skim his cheek and swipe a tear away from his jaw. His eyes aren’t clear, nor sure. His eyes are sad, scared, and broken, and I want nothing more than for him to say something filthy and give me that cocky smile that I so desperately love.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m okay,” I promise him.
His mouth opens, another tear sliding down his face as he looks at me helplessly. It’s as if he’s afraid to speak in the fear that he will break. I can see him breaking.
“Can we have a minute?” I croak out, looking down at the nurse who is speaking with a doctor at the end of my bed. I wince when I get a stabbing pain in my side.
“You need to rest now, Nina. Just a few more minutes and then we are going to need you to leave, Mr Lowell. I’m sorry.”
Mason’s eyes are wild as he looks up at the doctor. Knelt at my bedside. He looks rabid and teetering on the edge of losing all control.
“He isn’t going anywhere.” I clench my teeth, the pain getting stronger by the second. “I don’t want to be alone, and if you won’t allow it, then I’m sure I can be taken somewhere that will take the both of us.” I look at Mason, and he nods with a deep frown, confirming that it’s possible. I sigh as I relax back down onto my pillow. “I’m in pain. Please, will you help me?” I roll my lips, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. Mason is here. I’m okay.
“I can get you something for the pain,” the doctor tells me softly. “You are going to be in a lot of pain over the next couple days, Nina, and you will need to make sure you’re getting adequate rest. If you have any questions or concerns you should let the nurses or doctors know, okay?”
I nod, watching as the nurse comes closer and fiddles with the cannula in my hand.
“What happens now? You told me earlier that the next forty-eight hours are important,” Mason asks, rising to his feet. He seems to have found his voice, slipping back into the unruffled man I know. “Will she need more surgery?”
The doctor finishes writing on the clipboard, then slides it into the slot at the end of my bed. “No. No more surgery. However, I’m very serious about the next forty-eight hours being critical. I will not hesitate to have you removed if I feel like Nina’s recovery will be compromised with your presence. I understand emotions run high in situations like this, but while Nina is under my care her health becomes my responsibility and priority.” He bows his head a little, trying to show that he means well with what he’s saying. I see that. But I know the man at my side—who would tear down skyscrapers, and the cities that house them to keep me safe—is all but ready to clear the bed that separates them.
“Thank you,” I rasp out, lacing my fingers through Mason’s and pulling his hand to my side. He leans in and kisses my forehead.
It’s not enough, though.
It will never be enough.
The nurse finishes then says, “This is a morphine drip. If you find you’re in pain, you can press this button and it will top you up. It won’t allow you to overdo it so you can press it as and when needed. It’s very normal to rely on it in the early days of your recovery, so don’t be afraid to use it. It will make you sleepy, but that’s very normal.” She looks up and over to Mason, her cheeks fanning red as she smiles sheepishly. “I’ll fetch you a recliner.”
“Thank you,” Mason tells her, dipping his head.
And then finally, we’re alone. Mason rests himself on the edge of the bed, staring down at me deep in thought. “I thought I was going to die.” I smile awkwardly, trying to stop my lip from trembling.
“Baby—”
“Did she come back? Did Mum come back?”
He shakes his head no as his eyes drift closed, and for a moment the pain in my side is gone, my heart instead exposed to the repercussions of my mother’s actions once again.
“You sent her to rehab?” I ask, my eyes feeling heavier than they did a few moments ago.
“I only ever wanted you to have a family, Nina. Your mum. Jasmine. I thought if I could fix the things that led us here, then maybe we’d be okay. If I knew she’d—” His head bows, his voice cracking, and I screw my own face up in pain. “I’m so sorry.”
His head drops to my chest, and I cradle him there. “Mason, this isn’t your fault.” I exhale a long breath, my arms getting heavy. “It’s nobody’s fault.”
“I should’ve been there.” His tear-smothered voice wavers as he gently smooths a hand over my side. I can feel myself starting to drift to sleep, but I try to fight it. “Scarlet. Is she okay?”
He nods.
“Ellis. Where’s Ellis?” I lazily open my eyes.
“He’s with Maggie and John.”
I smile, starting to give in to the darkness. “And Joey?”
When he doesn’t answer and I don’t feel his head move against me, I frown, but I can’t open my eyes.
“Mase?” I try to say.
My body is weightless, the pain gone.
“Mason?”
* * *
My body tellsme to wake up, but my eyes are unmoving. I can smell pancakes, I’m sure of it.
“It’s syrup. Gotta be.” I frown, Elliot’s voice drifting into my semi-state of consciousness.
Open your eyes, Nina.
“Yeah, if you want your teeth to fall out! You need to try my pancakes. Game changer.” Warmth spreads through me at the sound of Lucy’s voice. It’s the best feeling.
“You wanna feed me pancakes, princess?”
Everything goes quiet. Then there’s the sound of creaking leather. Then silence. I frown, wondering what’s going on.
“Tastes good, doesn’t it?” Elliot’s voice is full of want, the throaty sound making my own stomach flip.
Slowly, my eyelids start to flutter. The room is a blur as it comes into focus, and I’m surprised when I realise I am partially sat up. I squint, trying to clear my vision. Lucy is standing in the corner, her back rested against the window. Elliot is standing in front of her.
I feel like a third wheel. “Hi,” I croak out, and my throat burns as I swallow.
Lucy flinches, rushing out from behind Elliot. “Nina! Oh my god, finally!” She drops her head to my shoulder, hugging me gently. “How are you feeling?”
For a minute I consider lying, but I know she’ll see right through it. “Crappy.”
Elliot hands me a cup of water. “Here.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, giving him a small smile.
“I’m going to get Mase,” he tells us, quickly leaving the room.
The hour that follows turns out to be more manic than I expect, and I’m surprised when I manage to stay awake for it. Lucy and Elliot left and then Megan and Charlie slipped in. Then George arrived with flowers from himself, his boyfriend, Liam, and Jasmine. As the time passes on, I can see Mason getting more and more agitated, and see him watching me, his face hardening at my every wince.
It’s as the room clears and he turns to me, ready to have some alone time together when my eyes fall heavy.
“Mase.”
“Shh,” he tells me, climbing onto the bed and resting my head on his chest. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up, Angel.”
* * *
Mase
