The Recluse Heir by Monique Moreau
23
Imade it to the movie theater without a problem. I kept checking to see if I was being followed, but Cristo’s worries were for nothing. Waiting for a text from Simu, I hid out in a bathroom stall, crouched over the toilet. Fitting, since it felt like my heart was swirling down the drain of said toilet. Luca hadn’t bothered to follow me, further proof that he was done with me. I let out a strangled sound of despair and covered my mouth to suppress it. If he had any feelings for me, even hatred, he would’ve come after me.
But he’d done nothing, which had to be the worst thing he could possibly do. If only he hadn’t thrown me out, if only I had a chance to explain myself. I would’ve taken his shouts over his dismissal any day. I was so enraged with myself that I wanted to scratch my eyes out. I should’ve ignored my family’s wishes and told Luca everything.
“Oh, God,” I gasped out, staring up at the white ceiling as tears tracked down my cheeks. “It’s over.”
My phone vibrated. Simu was outside. Rushing out of the theater, I found his car idling at the curb and flung myself into it. It was midday traffic, but he casually ignored the blaring horns of cars turning sharply around his car and streaking past. The instant I slammed the door closed, he pressed on the gas and merged into the rushing traffic on Broadway.
His hand landed on my knee and squeezed, his anxious eyes roving over my face and body for an instant before returning to the street. “You okay, baby?”
I cringed at his touch coupled with the endearment. Bile rose up my gullet.
“Yeah,” I murmured, dropping my purse into the footwell and slipping on my seat belt. The back of my head hit the headrest. I closed my eyes, releasing a long breath of defeat.
“I’m going to fucking kill him. I’m going to fuck with him and torture him for an entire week. Keep him hanging from the ceiling on a steel hook until he bleeds out like a gutted hog. Then I’m going to dismember him, piece by piece, and scatter his body parts over the entire city. No one disrespects you or the Popescus like that. No one.”
My heart banged against my chest. There was no way I’d allow him to touch a hair on Luca’s head. It was bad enough that I had hurt Luca and ruined his love for me. I wasn’t going to see him get harmed by a Popescu. We’d done enough damage, thank you very much.
Crushing his hand in mine, I released it quickly and dug my fingers into my eyelids. “Simu, please stop. I can’t deal with this right now. Promise me you won’t touch him.”
“Why the fuck not?” he growled.
My eyes popped open. “Um, maybe because I betrayed him? Because I screwed him over? He did nothing wrong. And then he released me, Simu. He could’ve tortured and dismembered me. Think about that. It was in his rights to make me pay for my disloyalty.”
“Fuck that,” he grumbled, eyes narrowed and laser focused as he zipped between cars and whipped around a corner turning east toward Queens.
“No,” I replied tightly. “After what I did, he had every right to make me pay. Instead, he let me go without a scratch,” I finished in a cracked voice. Let me go and broke my heart. “I don’t know if Cristo told you—”
“Of course, he told me. I’m the consilier. Who do you think thought of trying to steal something from Luca in the first place? Regardless of what you did, Cat, you’re a woman and the daughter of one of the most powerful şefs in the country. Luca has no right to touch you.”
You bastard, I should’ve known you were involved.
“Oh, please, as if retribution doesn’t come to women who betray their clans. What don’t you get, Simu? I blood bonded with him. I was a Lupu.” I swallowed back the tears threatening to fall. “And then I deceived him. He had the right to hurt me. At the very least, he had the power to turn me over to Alex, who could’ve used me as ransom to extract something from Tata. He had any number of options at his disposal, but he let me go. So no, we won’t be hurting him,” I said with finality. My lips flattened as I gave him a hard stare.
“I can’t believe you’re protecting him,” he argued. “You’re giving him far more credit than he deserves. Regardless of what you did, you’re still a Popescu princess.”
“You mean, puppet,” I snapped. I had stupidly followed my family’s plan, which turned out to be Simu’s, instead of turning to my husband-to-be for help. Another wave of shame crashed over me. God, I was such an idiot to trust my family to fix this. This wasn’t the first time they’d messed things up. Despite their attempts at outwitting the Lupu men, their plans often turned bad. We were either cursed or just plain stupid. If I hadn’t panicked about Cristo and kept my head, I would’ve realized that my best chance of saving him was to turn to Luca. He and the Lupu men were diabolically clever, with a healthy dose of luck on their side. They’d always seen through every Popescu trick.
Instead, I spectacularly failed the first test between Luca and me. Now I was going to be a spinster. I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. After having sex only a few times, I could kiss those moments of bliss goodbye. Knowing that I would never be touched again wasn’t even the worst of it. The worst part was seeing the stark pain in Luca’s eyes.
I was supposed to have his back. He was my partner, and I should’ve accepted that my future was with him. His love was unconditional, unlike my parents and brother. Their conditions wouldn’t have stopped me from helping Cristo, but it was the truth. Tears sprang to my eyes, my throat tight and clogged with remorse. I’d thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me. God, I was such an idiot. Now I would have to live with the consequences, but at the very least, I would make sure that they left Luca alone.
“Bullshit. You were taking care of your family,” Simu countered.
I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Oh my God, are you delusional? I was going to marry into the Lupu family. They were my family. My loyalty should’ve been toward them. My common sense was clouded by Cristo, but what I did was wrong. On top of everything, I now realize that Luca would’ve helped me.” Simu made a sound of derision. “I deserve whatever punishment is coming to me,” I ended miserably.
“Baby, you’re killing me here. Cristo needed your help. And I have no idea what makes you think Luca would’ve helped. They hate the Popescus. Hell, I doubt he would’ve even gone through with the marriage. He was using you.”
I looked at him, horrified. “Are you for real? If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Luca grasps the meaning of honor. He would’ve never used me like that. Why would he have taken a beating from you, my father, and Cristo if he planned on tossing me aside? You’re grabbing at straws, Simu. A move like that would’ve gotten him killed.”
“Oh, it’s going to get him killed,” he muttered under his breath, but I heard him in the quiet of the car. We were on the Queensboro Bridge at this point, and the play of shadow and light flickered over us as we passed under the crisscrossing steel bars of the cantilever bridge.
“Simu!” I chastised. “I’m not joking. You cannot, I mean cannot hurt him. Do not touch a hair on his head.”
“Come on, Cat. He humiliated you and shamed the Popescu name. He had no right to toss you out like yesterday’s trash. At the very least, a real man would have approached Nelu and negotiated a way to make up for your faux pas.”
“Faux pas?” I stuttered. This guy was driving me crazy. I was emotionally exhausted, but Simu’s persistence made me want to throttle him. Yet, I had no choice but to try to convince him because he was a loose cannon when his feathers got ruffled. My fingers curled into tight balls, the urge to punch him was looming over me. I wasn’t having it. No one was going to hurt my Luca.
“Oh, what I did was far worse than a little faux pas. If I were anyone else, I’d be the one strung up on a hook in some abandoned warehouse somewhere. I don’t want any bloodshed in the name of my honor. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but the man did nothing wrong. He’s the wronged party here.”
He blew out a long breath and muttered, “I shouldn’t be surprised you’d stick up for him. It’s who you are. Sweet and innocent. Those are only two of the many things I love about you.”
Oh, God. Ewww. I couldn’t hear a declaration of love right now, especially from him. I grimaced and shuddered inwardly. The idea of Simu wanting me was gross, but I had to keep on his good side to convince him to leave Luca alone.
“Ugh, don’t say that. I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve love, period. And I’m not going to get another chance at love, either. I’m damaged goods now. No one’s going to want me.”
“I want you,” he pronounced, his eyes sliding to me for an instant before returning to the road.
“What?” I gasped out of surprise more than anything else. No, no, no. Please shut up, Simu. Don’t keep talking.
“Did you really expect anything else?”
“Of course, I did. I’m not a virgin anymore.”
“I’m aware,” he replied. “And I don’t care.”
This was insane. The idea of him touching me made my skin crawl. Sex? Out of the question. I complained about being a spinster moments before, but that was a thousand times better than being with him.
“Don’t be silly, Simu. Of course, you do. I don’t need a knight in shining armor. Just because my father saved you doesn’t mean you have to return the favor. I don’t want to owe anything to anyone. I’d rather live out the rest of my life alone. At least I can go to college now that my hopes for marriage are forever ruined.”
The last sentence popped out of my mouth without thinking. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. Ever. Maybe I would go to medical school and become a psychologist. Help other people. That would give my life meaning. I had to do something with my life after tossing away my one chance at happiness.
“I’m serious, Cat,” he insisted. “I didn’t stop wanting you when you were engaged to Nicu or with Luca. I didn’t stop when you lost your virginity. I never stopped. And before you say it and piss me off, no, this isn’t a pity move on my part.”
My head whipped to the side. I was speechless, but inside I was screeching nooo. I had just betrayed the only man I ever loved. My heart was Luca’s, even if it resembled the splintered windshield of a car after a head-on collision. The very idea of being touched by another man sickened me, so the idea of marriage…
No, just no.
He glanced at me again and repeated, “I’m dead serious.”
My brows shot up. The only move I’d made since his declaration.
“Think about it,” he finished.
I didn’t need to think about it. I already knew that it was out of the question.
My brows dropped low and I shook my head. “I can’t. Since I won’t have a family, maybe I’ll go into a helping profession. Become a shrink or a nun or something. Maybe I’ll be the next Mother Theresa.”
“For fuck’s sake, this isn’t a joke,” he snapped.
“I’m not joking,” I cried out. “You think you’re saving me, but I can’t do this again. I can’t be with someone else. I. Am. Done.”
I was breathing hard. He was going too far, and as much as I wanted to protect Luca, I couldn’t lead Simu on.
“You can and you will,” he replied, his jaw clenched tight in stubbornness.
My eyes flared wide. What? I recognized that glint in his eyes. Uh-oh. When he got something in his head, he was like a dog with a bone. Relentless.
His voice turned hard as he declared, “If you want me off Luca’s back, then you’ll marry me. Otherwise, consider him as good as dead. Not only that, Cat. I won’t help Cristo with the Hagi family. Now that you’ve failed, I’m the only thing standing between him and a Hagi gun pressed to his temple. I won’t use my clout with my uncle unless you first swear you’ll marry me.”
My body jerked.
“What?!”
“You heard me.”
“Jesus, what the hell? Have you lost your mind?”
First, he threatened Luca, and now Cristo? It was a low blow, even for him.
His eyes flashed with an unholy look, borderline crazy if you asked me. For the first time, I was scared of him. This wasn’t about love. This was the furthest thing from love.
“I get what I want, and God fucking knows I’ve wanted you for years. You were mine from the beginning.”
“I’m not an object,” I retorted.
“Like hell you aren’t.” My head snapped back like I’d been slapped in the face. “You represent the heart of the Popescus, and if I marry you, I will finally be seen as an equal in the eyes of your father and the entire family. As an equal, I have a chance at being şef once your father retires.”
“And Cristo? Cristo is heir,” I whispered, cringing. I already knew his answer before he spoke.
“Fuck, Cristo. With you by my side, I’m equally capable of taking the crown.” He turned to me, crazy-eyed. “I will get your total cooperation, Cat, or you can kiss your brother and Luca goodbye forever.”
My jaw dropped open. His declaration of love had always been a lie, an unadulterated lie. What he was in love with was the power he’d get from marrying me.
Snapping my mouth shut, I crossed my arms over my chest and fumed while he rambled on, “I know you think you’re in love with him, but you’re not.” Oh, I am, you fucker. The gall to think you know how I feel. Unbelievable.
“You’re young and inexperienced. Not only is Luca handsome, dressed to the nines, and charming as fuck, but he seduced you.” Ha! Shows how much you know. I seduced him first.
“Yet, you don’t really know him. Not like you know me. You’ve known me your entire life. I’m giving you a chance to have a full life. Even if you graduated college and became a professional, you’d never have a normal life. You’d live with your parents until they died, and then you’d move in with Cristo and his family.” Better than you, you manipulative little prick.
“Or your father takes pity on you and marries you off to a low-level soldier. You will have no power to deny him. Instead, you can marry me,” he finished smugly. Gag, I’d rather do anything but that.
Ugh, I could vomit from disgust.
“I won’t let you ruin your good name for me,” I argued, grasping for any reason to dissuade him while clenching my shirt to stop from choking him. The man was a callous, power-hungry asshole. He’d go to any lengths to get what he wanted, the rat bastard. I had to stop him, but first, I had to get him to save Cristo. I had no choice but to marry him. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and cut his black heart out of his chest.
“Don’t worry about me. I can handle anything thrown my way. I’ve wanted you since before you were legal. You’ve known that. I didn’t think I’d have to convince you, much less blackmail you to marry me, but whatever,” he claimed.
After the debacle with Luca, the only reason a proud aristocrat like him would put up with the whispers, sly comments, and insinuations that would dog me for years, maybe decades, was a power grab.
God, this was exhausting. Not only did I lose the only man I ever loved, not only would I beat myself up for eternity for breaking his trust, but I couldn’t even be left alone to lick my wounds. I was being bullied into a marriage with a selfish, heartless man, and I couldn’t do anything about it. But I was going to at least extract an oath from him. He wanted it bad enough that it was worth a try.
Simu was a Cantacuzino, an aristocratic family that could trace their line back to Byzantine imperial families. They were no joke. I’d never heard Simu’s story, other than that my father pulled him out of the street and gave him a place with our clan, but I knew his oath was serious.
“If you want me, then swear that you will leave Luca alone. You won’t touch him. Not you yourself, not through someone else. Not now, not later, not ever,” I intoned. “And you will help Cristo. If you don’t, all of this goes to hell.”
His eye twitched and he slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel, but he spat out, “Fine, I swear on the name of my family, the Cantacuzino. I don’t know why you feel the need to protect him, but if you marry me, I will let him live. As for Cristo, that’s without saying.”
My back teeth ground together. Pretending he cared about Cristo was too much. Grrr. What an asshole.
“Fine, I accept it. I will marry you.” I had no intention of ever having this discussion again. “From here on out, I don’t want to hear his name again. Understood?”
“Understood, baby,” he crooned. A satisfied grin spread across his lips.
My spine hit the back of the seat. There, it was done. I’d sacrificed myself for Cristo’s life and Luca’s safety. Hopefully, I’d redeemed myself, at least a little. Luca would never know, and I was fine with that. It was small compensation after what I had done, but now that a whole part of my life—love, passion…delicious sex—had been hacked away, I’d better get used to lowering my expectations on all fronts.
His hand landed on my knee. My gut churned, and I gritted my teeth to stop myself from ripping it off me. Now that I was his, his hand on my knee took on a completely different meaning. It felt heavier. Weightier. Horrible. My back stooped forward as his grip clamped around my knee. I had exhausted what little leverage I had making sure he wouldn’t take Luca out, so I had to grin and bear it.
“I want to go to college, Simu. I’m going to be shunned from society and need to get my mind off everything that happened.”
“No one will hurt you if they know what’s good for them,” he threatened.
“Oh, please. I’m not talking about the men. I’m talking about the women. What I did violated a primal rule, and they’re going to get their pound of flesh. You can threaten their fathers and husbands all you want, but that will only drive them underground. They’ll do it behind the men’s backs and make sure they never get caught. I won’t have you fighting a battle that you can’t win. It will undermine your authority,” I reasoned.
His fingertips dug into my knee, but then he eased up and patted it condescendingly. It took everything in my power not to hiss at him.
“Let me think about it,” he said.
“Please,” I bit out.
“I said I’d think about it, but in the meantime, I better not catch you doing anything stupid,” he warned as we pulled up on my street.
“I swear, I’ll be good, Simu,” I promised.
Peering upat my family’s house, I braced myself. I’d failed them, and my stomach cramped at the thought of what would happen to Cristo. Now the only thing I had up my sleeve was the lying son of a bitch beside me.
Gazing out at my family’s home, I’d never felt lonelier. These had once been my people. What happened today changed that forever. I could no longer put my faith in them and my broken heart was tethered to another. Even knowing he hated me didn’t stop the excruciating ache in my chest. How was I going to survive my constant scratchy, tight throat, my burning eyes, and the gaping hole in my heart? How?
I sucked in a rattling breath and let out a cry. Pressing my lips together, I flew out of the car and ran up the flight of stairs. Once inside, I fled up to my room, locked the door, and threw myself on my bed. Sobs racked my body as I buried my face and wailed into the pillow. Fully dressed, I crawled under the blanket and curled into the fetal position. Agonizing pain slashed through me like a rampaging beast.
Everything was so unfair.
So wrong.
And I had no one to blame but myself.
