With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

 

Just Fine

I don’t know if we’re going to be fine at all, but I try to remind myself of Mercedes Sosa’s song: Everything changes. I’ll learn to be fine.

Before I go to bed I call Julio. I didn’t phone him once while I was in Spain and he didn’t call me, either. I wish he was a texter since that would be easier, but he has conspiracy theories about the government reading people’s texts.

“Emoni! Remember your viejo, finally?”

I hope he doesn’t hear my sigh. “Hey, Julio. How are you?”

I hear some rustling in the background and I know I must have interrupted his reading.

“Me, I’m always the same. How was Spain? Mami tells me you were living the good life out there in Europe.”

I tell him a little bit about the trip and the apprenticeship, leaving out the Columbus monument and all the golden structures. It’s too late to listen to a Julio Rant.

“Julio, I just wanted to let you know I got into college. Into Drexel here in the city. ’Buela is so excited she’s probably going to start putting up posters and I wanted you to find out from me before one of your block homies called.”

On the other end of the line there’s silence and for a second, I think the call dropped. “Julio?”

I hear what sounds like a sniffle but that can’t be true. My father didn’t cry when he lost his home in the last big hurricane. Didn’t cry when I stopped calling him Papi and started calling him by his first name. Doesn’t cry when he visits my mother’s tombstone.

But that’s definitely a sniffle. “I hope Mami does put up posters. You deserve it. You must be so happy.” But he must hear the hesitation in my voice because he questions, “Emoni? Is this not what you want?”

And the thing is, Julio is a lot of things. And I don’t always know if I can count on him. But I do know that he believes in self-education, and if I told him I didn’t want to go to school, that I thought going straight to work was a better idea, he would support me. Even if he had to argue with ’Buela to do it. But then I think about his sniffles.

“I’m happy. I’m just nervous at all the new changes.”

“And Mami with her new boyfriend.”

I’m stunned. ’Buela told him about Mr. Jagoda? “She told me.” And I realize I asked that question out loud.

“You’ll figure it out, Emoni. You’ve had some of the most difficult challenges thrown your way and you’ve always figured it out. You got angels on your shoulder.”

And I can only hope he’s right.