With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

 

Next Steps

“Ms. Santiago, how was your trip?” Ms. Fuentes asks from her desk.

I hope she doesn’t look at me too closely or she’ll be able to tell I was crying into my pillow all night. “It was amazing. I hope I can go back one day.”

“Did you end up checking those college admissions?”

I walk to my desk and pull out a textbook immediately. I need to bury my face somewhere. “I got into Drexel.”

“That’s amazing, Ms. Santiago!” Ms. Fuentes claps her hands together. She drops them when I stare unenthusiastically at my closed Applied Math book. “You don’t seem excited. What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m fine. Still jet-lagged, I guess.”

I don’t look at Malachi when he walks in, but I can feel his eyes on me the entire thirty minutes of class. We spoke on the phone last night after my conversation with ’Buela. Well, mostly I spoke, which is a change for us. He listened as I listed my fears and as I cried about ’Buela. I’m so happy for her, and I’m so afraid of change.

At lunch, I can’t even pretend to play with my food.

“Emoni, please explain to me why you’re in crisis mode again today? You just got back from a beautiful country, you have a boyfriend, a college acceptance, and the best best friend a person could have. So what is the problem?” Angelica never has much patience with me when I’m moping.

“I feel like I’m being pulled in a hundred directions and my feet are stuck in cement.”

She pushes her glasses up higher on the bridge of her nose. “So, you went to Spain and became a poet?”

I pull my hand from underneath hers and flick applesauce at her blond curls.

“Hey!” She ducks out of the way before any lands on her and pretends to hide under the table.

“Girl, get up. I’m done reminding you who’s boss here.”

“Yeah, okay. Wait until I get this weave out. It’s going to be straight-up applesauce war.”

And absolutely nothing has changed. But for a few moments my chest feels lighter.