An Earl’s Broken Heart by Ella Edon
Chapter Seventeen
Each time Alexander thought of his home, he shuddered. He was still unable to believe that he was wed to Isabel. Something he had always wanted when he was quite younger. Now it was all coming to pass in the wrong way. The next morning, after Alexander had dressed for the day and had breakfast with Michael, he refused to return to Carter Manor.
He was petrified of even setting his eyes on Isabel. He wanted to be alone for the time being and Michael's abode granted him that.
That morning, Alexander did not feel like having a meal. All he wanted to do was plot his route of escape to avoid seeing Isabel. While he was served breakfast in the dining room, all that Alexander did was pick the food and swallow at intervals. He pondered on what had been Isabel's expression after his departure. He was certain that it had left her shocked because she had thought that such a heated moment was enough to hold him. Alexander shook his head. He knew that she had utterly failed.
Concerning his plan to move away from Isabel, he wished to discuss the possibility of staying in his country home whilst he sorted out the Estate's debt and rebuilt it. Seeing as he was in Michael's home, he thought it best that the discussion took place that morning.
"I wish to discuss the Estate with you, my friend," said Alexander after the meal.
Michael nodded eagerly and then let a smile curve his lips. "I am more than pleased to do so. We must discuss what progress has been made concerning the debt."
“We have begun sorting the debts gradually."
"Which is great news," Michael grinned. "But you are yet to create an alliance with the Duke of Lichfield that would ensure that you get back into business.”
Alexander's heart skipped. "Is there no other way?”
Michael shook his head. "After these debts are paid off, you shall have no capital to get back on your feet, Alexander. You need to form that alliance as soon as possible."
Alexander sighed. Working with the man who had ruined his life would be the height of all his frustration. "I was thinking of moving to the countryside, Michael.”
The smile on Michael's face vanished. "And of what purpose shall that serve? Is there perhaps a business there that might help?"
Alexander swallowed and shook his head a bit. His plan was not going to work, and he was not ready to share his past with Isabel as that was the only way that Michael would understand why he wanted to move far away from her. If only there was something else that he could do.
"Alexander?” Michael called.
He snapped his gaze to Michael and raised a brow. Michael tilted his head to the side. "Is there something that concerns the manor that I should know?”
Alexander shook his head. "Nothing at all.”
Michael nodded once and looked away. "You must secure a meeting with the Duke as soon as possible. The debts still remain.”
Alexander frowned. It was the way of a solicitor, he supposed. To bring one back down to earth with the realities of circumstance and fortune.
Alexander took a heavy breath in. “The debts. Yes, of course. I am handling that, Michael.”
“I have no doubt that you are, my Lord, except that time is running scarce. Our prospects are greatly improved upon your marriage to the Duke of Lichfield’s daughter but his support in your business is essential to the survival of the Earldom.”
Alexander studied Michael, fearing the worst. “So, what must I do?”
Michael gave a heavy sigh and drained the remnants of his glass with a conclusive flick of his wrist then he placed a hand on Alexander’s shoulder. “I think you know what you must do, my Lord.”
Alexander gritted his teeth, shifting slightly in his seat. He knew what he would have to do. In a sense, he had always known that it would ultimately come down to it once more.
Alexander had never thought it would be possible to reconcile with the Duke of Lichfield, a man who had treated him with such wanton contempt that Alex had thought the man incapable of having any goodness in him. Now, if he wanted to save the Earldom, he would need to see the man once more.
He covered his face with his hands and released a long sigh.
“You have to do this, Alex,” Michael said with his hands patting Alex on the back
Alexander opened his eyes and gripped the chair arm dead tight. “I know, Michael, I’m just finding it hard to imagine reconciliation with the man. He is cruel and ruthless, and times past have shown that he has no great regard for me.”
“It hasn’t stopped you before,” Michael said. “I have heard of the things you did in service for your country. All who speak of you tell of your bravery, your valor, your resolution in the face of challenge.”
“That is in war, this is quite different.”
Michael made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Perhaps, but I have seen you step into high society with not a foot out of place. You know how to dance with the nobles. You’ve watched them your entire life and your Great Uncle has taught you all you need to know.”
Alexander raised an eyebrow. “Is that what you truly believe?”
Michael nodded. “It is, my dear friend. You should have no trouble at all with the Duke of Lichfield. You have faced sterner and more dangerous challenges than he could ever imagine, and you have survived them, triumphed over them. You can do it and you certainly will.”
Alexander swallowed. “Your esteem of me is quite inflated on account of our relationship, Michael.”
Michael laughed. “There are areas where I hold you in no esteem at all, Alexander, but in this, I will not be reproved.”
Alexander smiled. “If you say so.”
“That I do.”
They enjoyed the rest of the decanter and Alexander shared good cheer with his friend until it was time to return home.
As he rode back to the Manor, he was encouraged but still possessed of the apprehension of the task which now lay before him. Isabel’s father was a man who had treated him with unmerited contempt and who, Alexander knew, was not likely to abandon his appraisal of him merely on account of him having inherited his Great Uncle’s seat. It would be a wrestle against a man who thought of him as lesser than and had all the resources to prove it. Nevertheless, it was a wrestle he would not lose.
He could already imagine what a meeting with the Duke of Lichfield would lead to, an outburst of emotions. The only thing Alexander ever wished to share with that man was his fist.
"I shall be going to my office soon enough. Would you be present upon my return?" Michael questioned.
Alexander was still for a while, questioning himself as well as to whether he would be ready to leave just yet. He decided very quickly that he would not, so he shook his head.
Michael nodded then. "That is alright by me."
Alexander knew that he was lucky to have a friend like Michael, someone who understood him without words even being said. When Michael left for work later, Alexander filled himself with brandy and was too fatigued to leave the bedchamber given to him. Isabel had caused him so much pain that at that point in time, he began to feel that his life was meaningless.
That night, when Michael returned to check up on him, Alexander heard him whisper, "I hope what bothers you has not been so deep that it has torn you within."
Despite him being half asleep, he heard this and scoffed. Isabel was what bothered him, and she had torn him inside out. In his state, Alexander found himself fantasizing about that life he had always dreamed of with Isabel. In this fantasy, their wedding had been different. They had been looking into each other's eyes while they said their vows, and on their wedding night, they had made love in his bedchamber, his hands discovering every inch of her body in slow rhythms. But it was all impossible, all of this was in his mind. More thoughts of Isabel came, harder and more vivid than the former, attacking Alexander in beautiful ways, before he finally fell asleep. Despite his thought of Isabel as one who was both conniving and manipulating, his fantasies did not portray her as such.
The next day, Alexander awoke with an ache in his head and his mind was still not rid of Isabel. Michael offered him a cup of tea just before breakfast, but Alexander refused this. He stayed in the bedchamber given to him for most of the day before finally emerging when the evening drew near. Seeing that Michael was busy in his study, Alexander took to drinking again. He walked into the drawing room, requested a bottle of brandy, and downed nearly half the bottle before Michael walked in.
"Alexander!" Michael said, snatching the bottle from him and keeping it quite far away. Alexander laughed, but Michael appeared to be furious. Even in his tipsy state, Alexander could tell. Although his mind was nearly unconscious, he still somehow found himself aware.
"What has come over you, Alexander? Whatever is going on, this is no solution! Hiding out and allowing yourself to be drunk does not solve anything," Michael said sternly. He stood above Alexander, who was seated on the rosewood cushion leaning against the arm rest and trying to get a word out, but all he could muster was Isabel's name.
"She caused this..." he drawled out. "If you wish to chide anyone, it should be her!"
Alexander thought he saw Michael's brow raise, but he was not certain. He simply closed his eyes and breathed in. He was barely able to stand up or keep himself together.
"What do you mean, Alexander?" Michael asked. His voice was too loud that it echoed, and Alexander's eyes opened instantly.
"You are quite a loud one, friend." Alexander sat up. "Hush."
Michael then sat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You should come and have a good rest. The brandy has made you drunk."
Alexander pulled himself from Michael's grip and shook his head. "Isabel did this to me. She did. If she had not broken my heart, then perhaps all of this would have been bearable. First, she abandons me when we planned to elope and be wed, and then she sends me a letter, telling me that she wanted better than I could offer. Not long after that, she weds quite a wealthy Viscount. I had been hurt by everything that had happened and I tried to move on, but then I found myself here after seven years."
Michael was staring at him with creased brows and parted lips. But Alexander was not done speaking. There was a lot that he had bottled inside, and he needed to let it out, to pour out and, with his drunkenness, he was unable to withhold.
"I wish I never came back here, Michael. I had begun to heal until I saw her again at that ball."
"So, what led to this marriage if you despise her this way?” Michael queried.
Alexander shrugged. "She— we were seen in a room alone during a party."
Michael's lips parted and he moved back a bit. "That was what led to the marriage then. You had to wed her in order to save her."
Alexander nodded, his eyes closing and opening on their own. "You are beginning to get the point now."
Michael shook his head. "I had known that something was wrong. I did not want to ask you because knowing the kind of person that you are, I understood that until you were ready to share what bothered you, you would completely close off."
Alexander sighed and tried to stand up, but he nearly fell as he could not see clearly. Michael came to his aid and while he helped him, he spoke to him. "No matter what had happened, Alexander, this is not the best way to go about it. Staying here and getting drunk night after night would only make you lose focus from what truly matters. Everything with Isabel happened in the past. This is a new beginning, give this a chance."
Alexander shook his head and looked away. "No."
"You are greatly affected by her. This shows just how much love you had for her. And there is a possibility that this love may still be there."
"No!" Alexander snapped and rose. Just as he forcefully made to rise, he nearly felt face flat, but Michael was quick to hold him.
Alexander sighed and stood steadily with the help of Michael. There was no possible way that he could love Isabel, not after everything that she had put him through. Not at all. He hated her and what she represented in his life. She was the reason he could not let himself feel for anyone again. There was no way he loved someone who brought him ruin.
That night, when Alexander went to sleep, he dreamt of Isabel and, like always, it was a beautiful dream.
Isabel was dressed in a white sparkling dress, her hair was left to fall all over her shoulder, and her smile was an alluring accessory that topped off all the others. She was beguiling and, in her eyes, he saw the woman that he loved.
"Alexander," she called out to him, her smile growing wider. From where she walked, the sun illuminated her like a bright light and highlighted all of her so that she brought attention to herself. Alexander was seated on the bed in nothing but black breeches. His chest was left bare as he awaited Isabel.
The more she drew near to him, the more his heart thudded with love for her. The adornments she had on were just as equal as that of a queen and her beauty was one that no one could look away from.
When Isabel reached him, his body tingled so much that he could not bear being away from her for any second more. He rose then and drew closer to her. He pulled her close to him and touched her waist. She felt delicate beneath his fingers and her curves were well outlined.
"Do you love me?" Isabel asked suddenly.
Alexander found himself nodding. Then Isabel leaned in and kissed him. Alexander kissed her in return. Their lips worked together in sync while his hands began to travel down her body, touching her tenderly so that he could take in each feel. She was everything that he imagined that she would be.
As the kiss grew, Alexander touched more parts of her and that began with her bosom. He slowly pulled away the arm of the white cotton dress she wore and then let it fall all the way to form a heap around her ankle. Then he touched her breasts with his palm and rubbed at it while they kissed. Isabel pulled away to moan, her voice filled his ears, and he liked how passionate she sounded. He pulled close to her and placed his lips around her nipple. He sucked and licked her so that she shivered in his arms. After a few moments of doing so, Isabel fell into his arms.
"Lay down, my love," Alexander said. Isabel complied.
He guided her until she was laying down on the bed then he began to kiss her breasts as he was above her. His hands caressed the other parts of her body while his lips worked on her breasts, and then, not so long after, he trailed all the way down to her stomach, kissing each of her as he went. When he got to her core, he paused and looked up at her.
"Please, touch me there," Isabel begged. He did as she asked.
He slipped his finger inside her and stared at her while he moved. Isabel's lips parted, her eyes widened, and, before him, her body enjoyed all the pleasure that he brought. However, before anything could go further, Alexander felt Isabel go still beneath him. When he looked up at her, she was glaring at him and shaking her head.
"I don't love you," she said.
Alexander was quite confused. He pulled away from her and began to ask frantically, "Why? What do you mean, my love?"
But his questions were not answered because Isabel was no longer there. She had vanished and he was then left alone with a great void within him.
Startled, Alexander awoke, grasping for breath. It was a horrible dream that he had. He shook his head and repeatedly said, "No."
He could not allow Isabel to keep affecting him in such a way. It was all too much. He decided then that he would have to get back on track with his life. He could not possibly let his feelings for Isabel deter him from all the things he was meant to do. He had to begin settling his debts.