An Earl’s Broken Heart by Ella Edon
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Isabel was alone again. Isolated in the drawing room as she had been for those days when Alexander had deserted her and left her sick with worry as to where and with whom he might have been. She was still coming to terms with everything that had transpired before Alex had stormed off. Her father had written the letter that had kept her and Alex apart all these years.
At that moment, the anger that she bore towards her father had simmered to an unimaginable level. How could her father have done something so cruel?
She seethed, plotting silent recompense.
Her father had become a principality unto himself and others, throwing his weight and title around with no regard for who he hurt in the process. He had always been selfish but now it seemed the problem had expanded beyond good reason. Was he so blind that he could not see how such a scathing letter could hurt a man who was truly in love? No, he couldn’t be that blind; the man simply did not care and that was the worst of it. He wanted to hurt Alexander.
There were so many questions she wanted to ask him. Why he had been so heartless; why he had not cared at all for the person he called his daughter, his angel; why he thought it was alright to treat people poorly merely because he had little regard for their station in life? Every time she thought about it, her anger blossomed further.
If she were looking at him at the moment, she would have had a lot of things to say to him. She would ask him why he allowed himself to be used to cause havoc and destroy her life. She would ask him if at any point he ever felt remorse for what he was doing to her and Alexander/ She would ask him if he was happy now that they were broken and confused about their emotions towards one another.
As much as she was upset with the man, she could not muster any hatred for him. That was impossible. He was, after all, still her father. Not all of him was beyond redemption. As much as he could be ill-tempered, she knew he loved her and that she was very dear to him. He had cared for her as a child and spared no expense in making her happy, once upon a time. He was and would always be her father no matter the pain he had caused her and nevertheless, she still loved him.
She rose to her feet and ventured towards the corridor window. She glanced outside, looking at the lands, and all that Alexander now owned, all that they had as a family. It still felt wrong to say that, to call them a family. Her father behaving as he had was not likely to make it feel any better. She had to do something about this as it ran the risk of ruining whatever tendril of hope there was for her marriage.
She wondered if it was merely because of his status that her father had finally allowed her to get married to him. She wanted to ask him if wealth, money, and power were the reasons he had rejected Alexander before. Her eyes went to the gates, and she immediately thought of seeing her father. He had done so much harm in her life. He had single handedly placed her in this sad place and she felt he needed to know all the damage he was causing. Perhaps if he knew what he was doing to her, to her marriage, he would finally stop.
He needed to know how angry his actions over time had made her; he needed to know that she hated him more every day. She knew he never approved of their love, but it had never occurred to her that he would do this to them, that he would go so far and stoop so low as to trick them just to have his way. It was disheartening and heartless. She wondered if his hatred for Alexander or his quest to maintain his status in the town was so strong, stronger than all conscience and feelings he ever had towards her.
She was disappointed and she wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him how low she felt of him and how she had no respect for him again. He needed to know, he deserved to feel a quarter hurt of what he had caused her, he needed to know how much he had hurt her.
When she came down the stairs, she was informed by Mr. Wilson that Alexander had stepped out for a moment and had promised to return soon. That made her stomach sink. Once again, he had left without telling her where he was going. Perhaps her father had brought old emotions to the fore. Things that were raw and painful.
She prayed that her husband would be back later this evening, when she would return, if he didn't, she had no idea how she would handle that. She allowed herself dream and hope that they were going to be okay, that he was going to return home and come to her chambers, hold her, and confess his love to her. That he would praise her and adorn her with kisses while she melted in his arms, that they would begin anew chapter of their love together. A chapter of love and happiness, a chapter where evil and misfortune wouldn't come to knock on their doors. They would finally be together with nothing hindering them from one another, they would allow themselves to love each other to the fullest and hopefully, they would raise the family they've always wanted to.
She prayed that one day, this would all be a story for their children, and they would tell them how their love had conquered everything. She could only hope and pray while trying to silence the voice at the back of her head that always thought towards the negative direction.
The ground was wet and it was evident that it had rained some minutes ago. She walked to the stables, holding her gown up. She grabbed a horse and loosened it, ready to go. The stable man saw her, he was coming towards her, and she didn't give him a chance to. She had no time or strength for little talks and discussion.
She got on and rode away, out of the stables and out of the Manor. She had so much to tell her father and she was not going to keep it inside anymore. She was going to tell him things that he would never forget. For the first time in her life, she was going to stand up to her father. She despised him so much and he had to know, he had to experience what it was like to have his daughter hate him.
She picked up the pace as she relived her past, as she relived everything she had had to go through. Her father had punished her and Alexander when their only sin was loving each other unconditionally. To think that through all this, her father had been the only villain of the story and he had done it so well. At this point, she couldn't even tell if he had completely succeeded or if he had still failed. She didn't want to think about it. Alexander had to come back home to her and they had to get their relationship back on track. He had to believe her and give their love another chance, they deserved that much.
After all life had put them through, they deserved to try again, they deserved to be loved by each other. They deserved to finally be happy, to finally have what they had always wanted, to be with each other. She believed that this couldn't be it for them, they had to have their happy ending no matter what it took. With every step, she knew she was closer to her father and her anger heightened. She had no times for greetings or small talk, she was going to go straight to the point, she was going to pour out her mind and let him see the damage he had done to her heart and her mind.
She could see the gates and her heart picked up a beat, she suddenly felt scared as it seemed the weather around her dampened more. She made it to the gates and brought her horse to a stop as she waited for someone to open it. The gate brought memories. She could remember how close she had been to this place on the night she was supposed to elope with Alexander.
The gates of Lichfield Manor opened up and she rode hard for the door. As she came up the steps, she looked back at the surroundings and how large it all seemed, the place she couldn't escape all those years ago. She sighed and turned to her father's man, the one that had opened the door for her.
“Is my father around?" she asked immediately, and he nodded.
“Where is he?” she demanded. She didn't have time to explore his house just in search for him.
“In his study. Lady Carter, he has a visitor.”
“Thank you,” she said, ignoring the fact that he had clearly told her that her father was busy. She left him there standing as she made her way to the house.
As she neared the study, she realized she had no idea of what she was going to say. She knew she had so much to say to him, but it seemed like she couldn't find the words to use or the way to express herself. She felt that no matter what she said, she would never feel better. She tried to think of what she was going to say but she realized the words were not coming. She decided that whenever she saw her father, the words would find their way to her mouth.
As she neared the study, she began to hear a voice: a very familiar voice. It wasn't her father’s voice, but she was so sure that she knew the owner of the voice. For some reason unknown to her, she began to quiet her steps as she advanced nearer. When she could finally see into the study, she saw from where she was standing that her father was with Alexander. She immediately wondered what he was doing there again after what had transpired between them earlier.
She wondered if he had come to question her father, if her had come to ascertain if her claims were right. She couldn't help it as she found herself eavesdropping on their conversation. She wanted to know what they were talking about. Her curiosity got the best of her as she found herself wondering if her father would accept the accusations or if he was going to lie in shame.
Alexander spoke first.
“In truth, Your Grace, the Earldom was almost in ruin a short while ago. Were it not for my marriage to Isabel, I fear the Estate would be completely beyond repair.”
Her father cleared his throat. “Is that why you married her?”
There was a moment of silence. As though Alexander was contemplating his answer. Isabel’s face fell.
At long last, Alexander said. “No. That wasn’t why.”
But Isabel was not convinced. She could scarcely believe what she had heard. She had been so clueless all this while as to why Alexander had taken her as a wife and now the truth was being presented to her. She should have known. The walls bare of paint and the fountains with no outflow of water. The Earldom was in financial ruin and Alexander had only used her to resolve that matter. Suddenly his coldness, aloofness, and contempt all made sense. He didn’t love her, he was using her.
She could hear her heart shattering again. To think he was only saying that just because he knew the truth behind the letter. It only made it clear to her that when he married her, it was clearly for his economic status.
As she looked at Alexander, she didn't see her Alexander, she saw a man that would go through any length to be what he wanted to be. In that moment, she felt angry and used by both her father and her supposed husband as her heart wrenched.