Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Fifteen
The room was comfortable and warm. Two fires burned in the large hearths, and the heat filled the great hall. It was not suffocating but warm and lovely, making Rose feel more at home than she had felt before. Candles were in a line down the center of the table. Euan sat at the head, and she and Walter sat on either side of him. Light from the fire and from the candles flickered on the pewter tableware and glass.
“It is work, tae be sure,” Walter said in answer to Euan’s question. He had finally stopped sweating and reddening after her interrogation. She was disappointed, for it had felt like Heaven to see Euan trying to hide his laugh from his friend. It had been all her doing to make him look that way. But she also could tell that Euan was being kind, stopping Walter’s embarrassment eventually. “But nae matter,” Walter continued. “I am simply glad that the war is over.”
“True enough,” Rose replied. She leaned forward with interest, knowing that Euan would not stop her questions. “Do you also have men that wish to take advantage of the widows left behind after the war? Euan was speaking of it today with me.”
“Was he?” Walter’s old grin was back. “How kind of ye tae share yer business matters with yer new wife, Euan.” He chuckled. “Aye, we do, but we have done our best tae protect them in the villages. Some of the men who did return have taken a few widows under their protection. They provide them with a bit of money, and the women themselves have already created an occupation for themselves tae gain some income.”
“How wonderful,” Rose beamed. “What kinds of occupations do they have?”
“Well,” Walter scratched his chin. “Each village is different because it depends on what materials they can get. Many are weavers as well as seamstresses. Some bake and raise animals. There is even a woman who has taken over her husband’s smithy.”
Rose grinned, and she could feel Euan’s eyes on her. When she looked at him, he was smiling too but just faintly. “She must feel a certain kind of liberation, to be having a business of her own, and one that is normally given only to males.”
“Of course. But I think there are sometimes troubles with women creating occupations like that. That was one of the ways the men were taking advantage. Many wished to buy the smithy and refused to buy her wares since they were made by a woman.”
“Shameful,” Rose shook her head, although she knew her own brother would act in such a way.
“Agreed. If they were tae buy those same products elsewhere, they would never ken they were made by a woman. They would be happy enough with them.” Euan leaned back and crossed his arms. Rose’s attention was taken for a moment by the sight of his large arms. The muscles flexed underneath his shirt. There was also a slight vee at the top, and she could see some dark blond hair on the smooth triangle of his chest. She had to tear her eyes away or would lose control again, letting heat fill her body and take over her senses entirely.
“You are correct, Euan. I am happy that you have made such an assessment. If men only had to experience the life and struggle of a woman for but one day, they would wish to change the female plight instantly.”
She sipped at her wine demurely while inside; her heart was pounding. She had never ever been bold enough to say anything of the sort in public nor in front of men. Her father and brother would never have allowed such flagrant liberties. It felt so good to get the words out. Each time she said something new and bold, she was setting herself free. She didn’t fear that Euan or Walter would say anything against her or try to stop her from speaking.
Euan was watching her with amusement from the head of the table. His blue eyes met hers, and his lips curled up in a smile. She swallowed when she saw his eyes move down her face to elsewhere before returning, showing a mixture of appreciation and admiration. It was strange to feel thus about one’s captor, for that was essentially what he was.
Walter burst into merry laughter. “Quite right, my lady. I think that if a man had tae deal with the vagaries of life in a woman’s position, he wouldnae hesitate tae ask for changes.”
“Demand them, more like,” Euan added, his eyes still on Rose.
“It is refreshing to hear these words from two such powerful gentlemen,” she replied, eating her last bite of pork and laying her fork and knife down on her plate.
“Ye are in a different country now, lass,” Walter said kindly. “And I hope that we can continue tae do good things.” He nodded at Euan. “We always promised ourselves that.”
“What do you mean?” Rose asked, dabbing her napkin to her mouth.
Euan shifted in his seat, looking a little sheepish. “It was a child’s promise, but a good one, I think. Us three would play so much in the villages, seeing the plight of those there. We had so much, even Siobhan’s parents were nae terribly poor, and some were practically starving, fighting each day tae make enough. There were even a few people who had nae homes at all. Walter and I kenned that we would be lairds one day. We didnae think it would be so soon, but we kenned it just the same.”
“Aye,” Walter took up the thread of conversation. “We promised that we would be good lairds and try tae take care of every one of the villagers. We didnae realize then that it was much harder than expected, but we have done our best, I think.” Rose was touched by the kind look that she saw in Walter’s eye as he looked at Euan. She was glad he’d come.
“We have tried.”
“Is that why Siobhan became a healer?” Rose asked, suddenly terribly interested in her new friend’s history. Why! The woman had so many secrets!
“Aye, I think so,” Walter said with slight hesitation, a little of his old manner returning whenever he spoke of Siobhan.
“And she has done well. The best healer in four villages. She is often called away on important business when the healer there cannae do the work,” Euan added.
“She is a good woman,” Rose agreed. She sipped the last of her wine and felt a sudden wave of fatigue. There was much she needed to think of. Even with a long rest, the weight of the day was upon her. So much had changed in the matter of a day. She stood.
“I think I shall bid you goodnight, gentlemen. I will leave you to your business.”
Euan stood hastily, and Walter paused in the middle of rising himself, surprised at his friend’s hurry.
“I shall accompany ye tae yer bedchamber, wife.”
“Oh.” Rose blushed when all kinds of thoughts and images rushed through her mind at an unprecedented speed. “That is not necessary. I know the way, of course.”
She tried to laugh, but it came out as a strangled sort of sound. Walter was standing and watching the two of them with apparent amusement, his hands folded in front of him.
“Nae, I wish tae. Please allow me tae, that is.” Euan was watching her earnestly, and she shrugged, trying to act in a casual way she didn’t feel.
“Of course. I will allow it. Good night, Walter.”
“Good night, Lady Rede.”
At the doors to the passageway, they both turned as Walter called out, “Stay as long as ye like, Euan. Donnae hurry back on my account.”
Rose wasn’t sure she had ever blushed as much up to that moment. Right then, she was as red as an apple and wished greatly that she could disappear.
* * *
“Bastard,” Euan muttered under his breath. He made no reply, and Walter laughed to himself. “Ye will have tae excuse him,” Euan said as he and Rose entered the passage. He offered her his arm, and she took it again, always happy to feel the strength of him underneath her palms. It made her think of the other places he might be just as strong. “I think the lad forgets how tae act with others, especially ladies. Well, ye saw how hopeless he was with Siobhan.” Euan sniggered.
“Yes, well, I think him charming, even if he does enjoy a bit of teasing.” Rose chuckled, but he could tell there was a note of nervousness in her voice, and he couldn’t blame her. He was certainly acting strangely and somewhat out of character, but hadn’t that been the order of the day? Both behaving in ways neither had expected.
Euan kept his eyes forward, afraid that if he looked at Rose again in the soft torchlight of the hall, he would want to stop then and there, push her against the wall and kiss her until she was breathless. It wasn’t yet the place. Not yet. As for the right time, he rather hoped it would be.
They were silent as they entered the main entryway and made their way to the stairs. Not since that first night had Euan escorted her to her room, but after the day they’d had together, as well as the dinner, he didn’t want it to end. He had hoped that she would stay with them all evening, and he could hear her intelligent thoughts, feel her energy, and hear her laugh until late into the night. She surprised him at every turn, and he was disappointed that she wanted to retire so soon.
“Do you think that Walter will do something about Siobhan?” Rose asked, and he was glad of the change of subject for now.
“I donnae ken. I had nae idea that there was anything between them, or at least on his end, but after seeing his reaction tae yer questions tonight, I can tell. Ye are a smart, lass, able tae see things in people that I couldnae."
The compliment hung in the air for a few seconds. “Well, I like the idea of people being happy and in love. That is all, I suppose. But thank you.”
Euan’s heart was racing. They turned down the upstairs passage towards her bedchamber. He was moving slowly. He didn’t want to have to say goodnight. Not just yet. Something was building inside of him, and he had to see it resolved. “Were ye in love before Rose?” he asked suddenly and regretted his words when he saw Rose’s hesitation. “Ye donnae have tae answer, of course, but I find myself curious.” He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.
“No, I have never been in love myself,” she said firmly, and Euan relaxed. He wasn’t sure why the thought of Rose being in love with someone else either now or before made him angry as if those men didn’t deserve it.
And I do? I am her kidnapper, for Christ’s sake!
“And you? It is only fair that I get to ask you the same question.”
“Nae,” he shook his head. “I have never been in love. I donnae think I ken rightly what it is. Perhaps it makes one act a bumbling fool like Walter did downstairs?”
“Perhaps it does.” Rose chuckled, and the tension between them was broken for a second. There was no chance of them finding love now since they would be married for the rest of their days, and that was all at Euan’s hand. He had taken that from her. Even though he needed her, he still felt a pang of guilt. Although, she didn’t seem too sad to him when she’d told him she’d never been in love.
“Here I am,” she said, pulling her arm from his and pausing in front of her door.
“Aye, here ye are.” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling again like that nervous young boy. “Everything is comfortable?”
She chuckled, looking more confident than him at the moment. “Yes, all is perfectly comfortable and to my liking. You do not need to concern yourself.”
“But what if I did?” He stepped closer. “Wish tae concern myself.”
Rose swallowed. She was watching him, and she’d backed up against her door, but she didn’t look afraid. She didn’t push him away. Her hands hung squarely at her sides. “What do you mean?” she asked, and her breathing sped up, coming in short gasps. He watched her swallow, his eyes moving along the line of a neck for a brief moment before returning to her face. She was so lovely, and after today, he knew she was more precious still. He told himself that he was driven to spend time with her and be kind to her was because he needed an heir to secure that alliance. Then he could leave her alone again, but he knew, somewhere deep down inside, that wasn’t true. He wanted her, wanted her just for herself.
“Tae become closer, tae concern myself with yer daily life, lass,” he breathed, his face close. Her lips were so near, enticing him with their pink, plump form. He lifted a hand to touch her cheek, moving a thumb along its smoothness. She swallowed again. She never broke his gaze, and he could feel her body pulling towards him, growing limp underneath his closeness.
But she said abruptly, “Then we can begin by starting the sword lessons, I think.”
Just like that, the moment was gone, and Euan stepped away, feeling both humiliated and cold.
