Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning, Rose was awake when the sun rose because she’d hardly slept the night before. She wasn’t sure if the choice she’d made to push Euan away was the right one. She remembered the look on his face when she’d mentioned the sword practice instead of giving in to the powerful temptation of his kiss. She wanted him so badly, with his hand on her face and his hard body pressed up against hers. Her blood had been singing, begging her to give into him, to feel the pleasures that she knew would accompany the kiss, but she just couldn’t. Something held her back.
She spent all night trying to figure out just what it had been. When she finally got out of bed and splashed cold water on her face from her basin, she knew that part of the reason was fear. She was terribly afraid. Euan was the first man she’d ever kissed, and since they hadn’t done anything more than that, that was as far as she had ever stepped over the boundaries between man and woman. She didn’t know what lay beyond, and even though some instinct inside of her was pushing her to do more, she feared that it would somehow go wrong, the way Mrs. Drummond had made it seem to be.
Rose feared that she would be betraying her family by finally giving in to the forced marriage. She was also afraid that Euan would return to his cold, ignoring ways once it was over. Could she bear that after opening so fully to him? Consummation would mean that it was real between them, that their union was now official and could not be taken back. Not that she expected to ever return to England as an unmarried woman, anyway.
When Susan knocked at the door, Rose realized she was glad for the relief from her thoughts. “Come in,” she called, and Susan entered with her usual energy, but her smile faded when she spied Rose’s expression.
“My lady, did ye nae sleep? Ye look fatigued!”
Rose smiled weakly. “I did not sleep well, but it is no matter. I will still enjoy the day.”
“Aye! It is the festival day! The fires will be lit as soon as the daylight begins to dim, but I can show ye the preparations for the feasting and the revelry, and there are a few questions we would like tae ask ye.”
“Of course, Rose. I would be happy to assist.” She hesitated. “Is my husband at breakfast this morning?”
“He is.” Rose lightened. She wanted to try to explain to him about her behavior last evening. It was not that he was revolting to her or that she didn’t want him because she did. By God, no matter what had happened to bring them together, she wanted him terribly. But she knew that her actions told him otherwise, and she wished to make it right, to return to the ease between them that they’d experienced yesterday. “With Laird Prestone.” Rose’s heart sank. She would not find time today to speak to him when there was so much going on all day.
“I should like to join them as quickly as possible.”
“Certainly, my lady. I will help ye dress in a normal gown, but in a few hours, I should like tae help ye prepare for the festival and wear the garb fitting of a Lady Rede.”
Rose beamed with pride, even though she was an Englishwoman and hardly deserving of such new status after all her country had done to Scotland in the war. They had done things to each other, but she was grateful now that she had seen the other side from a Scotman’s perspective. The English were not all perfect and righteous. “Sounds wonderful, Susan.
I am looking forward to it.”
Susan helped Rose into a morning gown and prepared her hair in the usual way, babbling on about the festival and how Rose would have to prepare herself for something unique. In a quarter of an hour, she was flouncing down the steps, her heart racing. She wanted to catch Euan so that she could at least send a message through her eyes that all was well. That nothing was changed since yesterday. She didn’t want to analyze why she was meant to despise the man and fight against him for taking her from her family. She just wanted him to know that it was not for the reasons he thought that she had rejected his advances.
Just outside the entrance to the hall, she met with Walter and Euan. “Rose!” Walter said. “I hope ye had a good evening. Are ye ready for the festival?”
“Soon, Walter. I shall be. I am looking forward to it.” Her chest was heaving, and she worried that she looked terribly odd, rushing through her own home like a crazed person. Her eyes slid to Euan, and he was watching her, but he looked away when she turned to him.
Damn him! He will not even look at me now.
“Euan,” she said. “A good morning to you.”
“And to you, wife,” he said with a quick look at her. Walter looked between them and then said, “I will go tae the training area, lad. Let ye speak ta eyer wife for a bit.” He nodded in Rose’s direction and left.
“Yes, Euan, I must speak with you.”
“There is no need,” he said. “Ye have made things perfectly clear. I must go tae the training grounds and help prepare for the festival.”
He turned to leave, but she touched his arm, and he looked down at it, surprised. “But don’t you wish to know my answer about accompanying you? I know you wanted to give me time.”
For the first time that morning, he paused and looked at her properly. “Aye, I should like tae ken, although ye did tell me ye would. Have ye changed yer mind?”
“No.” She smiled. “I am happy to go. I want to go. I want to accompany you.” She knew she sounded like an utter fool, but if this was the only way he was going to listen to her, then this was what she had to do.
He smiled briefly. “Good, lass. I am happy. Ye will enjoy it, I think.”
She slid her hand down her arm and boldly squeezed his hand. Her heart was beating rapidly now, and even though it was in the light of day, she almost wished he would come close again, try again to kiss her, and her reaction to him would be vastly different. But he didn’t move. He seemed frozen to the spot, surprised at her intimacy. “May I speak to you at the festival?”
He nodded. “Aye. Of course. We are man and wife, after all. Good day tae ye, Rose. I will see ye then.”
He pulled away, and she watched his back as he left the entryway and disappeared down one of the yawning passageways. What new fervor had taken hold of her now?
* * *
Euan was shaking his head as he left his wife to join his men. They were to train as usual but also to prepare for the feats at the festival. One of them would be chosen as the “sacrifice,” They always enjoyed the teasing that preceded and succeeded the event. As he made his way to the training grounds, his mind flashed back to last night when Rose had rejected him, and he’d backed away and left her soon after.
When he returned to the hall, Walter sat near the fire, a goblet of wine in his hands. Euan opened the bottle and filled an empty glass. “Dear Laird Rede, I didnae expect ye tae return so quickly,” he said as Euan fell into the seat opposite.
“Why?” Euan said sharply. “What do ye think would keep me with the wife who I have kidnapped and taken hostage?”
Walter chuckled. “It isnae funny, lad,” Euan said.
“But it is. It is a sort of prison of yer own making, but one only has tae look at the two of ye tae see that neither of ye thinks of it that way any longer. There is a kinship between ye and perhaps even affection of a sort. There is most certainly desire.”
Euan kicked his own legs up onto the stool. “How do ye ken something like this when ye donnae even ken about yerself and Siobhan?”
Walter shook his finger in the air. “Nae, we are talking about ye just now. I will nae be on the coals just yet. But I think she did ask me about Siobhan in order tae take the attention off ye.”
“Or herself,” Euan grumbled. “Nae matter. I went with her tae do as ye say, tae try tae get tae ken, and tae get close tae her. But she doesnae want it. She nearly pushed me away.”
Walter burst into new laughter, and Euan’s mood only got worse. “What do ye mean? She pushed ye? What did she say?”
Euan reddened, but it was no use. He would have to tell his friend. “I went tae kiss the lass, and she speaks just before I do about a subject entirely different than the one I wished tae proceed upon. I hurried away as fast as I could. The second time she’s rejected me.”
“Second time, is it?”
Euan forgot that he’d neglected to tell Walter about the first time he and Rose kissed. “Aye. Second.” He briefly told him of what happened the first time, and Walter couldn’t stop laughing.
“By God, ye will wake the lass if ye donnae shut up.”
“I doubt she is sleeping, Euan. It is all a game; I am sure of it.”
“What do ye mean?”
“Well, surely she means tae keep control. She was already yer hostage, and she doesnae wish tae seem like she is completely under yer will.” Walter shrugged as if he was saying the most natural thing in the world.
Euan grumbled, but Walter had given him food for thought. “If only ye could be as wise with yer own woman problems.”
“I will sort things out eventually. But first, I must get Siobhan tae actually speak tae me without hurling insults.”
Euan laughed. “That will be a feat.”
He’d gone to bed still upset but feeling a little bit more hopeful. Perhaps there was still a chance that Rose would not spurn his advances? He hoped she had agreed to come to the festival and would keep her word, and then she told him that she would come.
When he saw her as he and Walter were leaving after the meal, he was so embarrassed, he could barely look at her. It had made him tingle with anticipation when she’d touched him, begged him to listen to her. And then she’d affirmed her agreement to come to the festival, hoping to speak with him there as well. The world was a strange place. He knew the evening ahead would be interesting, and he felt a greater excitement than ever before.
