Crash & Carnage by Emma Slate

Chapter 33

We drovethrough the gates of the clubhouse, and I waved to the prospects on duty. “Are they going with you tomorrow?” I asked Boxer.

“No. They’ll head with you to the cabins. Even though you guys will be off the grid, we’re not sending you into the wilderness unprotected.”

“Get the women and children to the lifeboats,” I quipped.

“Something like that.”

There were more motorcycles than just those that belonged to the Waco Blue Angels.

“The Idaho boys are here,” Boxer explained.

I nodded thoughtfully. Tomorrow was the beginning of something new. It would change all of us, whatever happened.

“If you’d told me even three months ago that I was going to get engaged to a biker, I would’ve told you to get your head examined.”

He cut the engine and grinned. “Life’s pretty insane, isn’t it?”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

He came around to help me out of the truck, and then we walked slowly up the porch steps. Boxer opened the door, and I was immediately greeted by a loud chorus of “SURPRISE!” The entire living room was full of Blue Angels.

“What is this?” I asked in confusion, stepping back and nearly plowing into Boxer.

Rachel was sitting on the couch, but she stood up and then pointed to the balloons and the banner. “It’s a welcome home party.”

“A welcome home…” I blinked back tears.

Boxer came and wrapped his arm around me, and then I attempted to burrow into him so I could hide my feelings.

“Not just a welcome home party,” Boxer announced, “but our engagement party. Linden asked me to marry her, and I said yes.”

I elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to grin. “I didn’t ask you.”

“Darlin’, you all but begged me to marry you.”

“Shut up, Boxer,” Mia stated, getting up from her seat and ambling toward me. “And get out of my way so I can hug Linden.”

Boxer stepped back, and then the Old Ladies were all hugging me and jabbering like magpies.

“You didn’t get the poor girl a ring?” Darcy asked with a frown at Boxer. “A proposal includes a ring.”

“And candles,” Joni added.

“And sex,” Rachel added. “Lots of sweaty sex. Linden’s hair doesn’t look at all messed up. Shame on you, Boxer. Shame. On. You.”

I looked at Boxer and grinned. “You can have a do over of the proposal, if you want. I wouldn’t be upset about it.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I might need a do over. Otherwise, the Old Ladies will never let me live it down.”

“My boy’s all grown up,” Colt teased, slapping Boxer on the back.

“We have a lot to celebrate,” Zip said. “This is good. All good.”

“Should we wait to celebrate until you guys get back?” I asked softly.

An ominous hush fell over the room; no one quite knew what to say.

“Never know when shit’s gonna go south,” Darcy said. “Let’s celebrate now, but then have a huge party when the guys get back.”

Mia went to the kitchen counter and grabbed a red Solo Cup, added some ice, and a hefty splash of coconut rum.

“Oh, I don’t like coconut rum,” I protested.

“Trust me,” she said with a wink.

“Mia has yet to make me a cocktail I’ve hated,” Darcy assured me.

Mia added orange soda to the cup, took another one, and poured it into it to mix the drink. She handed it to me. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”

I took a sip, my eyes bugging out. “Holy cow, that tastes like an orange creamsicle.”

“You’re welcome,” she said with a laugh. “Now, can we steal you away for a bit?”

“Sounds good,” I said with a look in Boxer’s direction. He was already drinking a beer and talking to Bishop, the vice president from the Coeur d’Alene chapter.

“It’s going to be a full house tonight,” I noted.

“But not one of our usual parties,” Mia said. “Come on, let’s head outside.”

“Where are the kids?” I asked. “Usually there are a few of them running around.”

“They’re in the basement watching movies and playing video games,” Darcy said, as we made our way to the backyard. They took the camp chairs and dragged them into a circle. I wanted to help, but they waved me away.

I did not like the idea of the next many days being reliant on them.

“Okay,” Mia said, easing her bulk into one of the chairs. “Now that we’re out of ear shot of the men, we need the full scoop on this proposal situation. Because while you do look radiant, you seem far too calm.”

“I’m not allowed to be calm?” I asked.

“You just agreed to marry Boxer,” Joni said with a teasing grin. “I expected more of a freak out.”

“Oh, there was a freak out, trust me.” I took a sip of my drink. “He brought me to his house. I saw the carnage.”

“Ah,” Rachel said with a nod.

“He told me why he went nuts.” I looked each and every one of them in the eye, one by one. “Do you guys know why?”

“Because you were kidnapped,” Darcy admitted baldly.

“Do you guys know why I was kidnapped? Did they level with you?”

“A bit,” Mia said. “Colt and the boys sat us down and told us that we had to head to the cabins with the kids. He didn’t give us details, but he said it’s bad.”

“And you got caught up in it,” Rachel added. “We don’t know particulars. We don’t need to know particulars, only that things are about to go down and we need to be out of the city to ensure our safety.”

I blew out a puff of air and nodded.

“All the Coeur d’Alene boys are here,” Darcy went on. “We know whatever’s going on is some dark stuff because the prospects have been our living shadows, and the whole crew being down from Idaho is very rare.”

“How do you explain all this to the kids?” I asked.

“It’s a normal existence for them,” Darcy said. “They don’t know anything else. They just know there are times we go to the woods, and then we go back home and it’s all okay again.”

I nodded slowly.

“So, this proposal,” Joni said. “I want more details.”

“There aren’t that many details,” I said with a chuckle. “I was standing in his house with sledgehammered holes in the walls and ruined furniture, and he said he didn’t want to live there anymore. So, I told him we’d move. That turned into a conversation about living together, which brought up the marriage thing.”

“He brought it up, or you brought it up?” Allison demanded as she put baby Tank to her shoulder.

“I don’t even really remember.”

“It doesn’t sound very romantic,” Rachel said.

“Do bikers and romance usually go together?” I asked.

“Well, maybe not romance per se,” Rachel relented. “But my proposal definitely included food and sex.”

“Mine too,” Mia said.

“Yep,” Joni said with a nod. “There was a lot of sex and a lot of food with Zip.”

“You guys are making her sad,” Allison said. “Look at her face.”

“I’m not sad,” I protested.

“Yeah, you are,” Darcy insisted. “It’s okay to admit you wanted something different in a proposal.”

“Everything has been happening so fast anyway. There wasn’t really time for him to—it’s not like we’d discussed a life together.” I frowned and then sighed. “Darn it.”

“You wanted a good proposal story, didn’t you?” Mia said gently.

I nodded. “Now that I’ve had time to think about it, yeah. A real proposal would’ve been nice.”

“Ask him for a do-over,” Joni said.

“Demand a do-over,” Rachel said. “You’re worth it.”

I smiled at her. “Thanks. It feels stupid, though. You know? Because there are so many other more important things going on now.”

“Matters of the heart are important too,” Allison said.

“Even when the world is falling apart?” I asked quietly.

“Even then,” she assured me.

“It feels selfish. They’re about to go to Mexico and…” I shook my head and fell silent.

The Old Ladies looked at one another and then Rachel asked, “They’re going to Mexico?”

Shit.

I exhaled slowly and then nodded.

“Cartel stuff,” Joni said. “Right?”

I paused and then nodded again.

“Fuck,” Darcy muttered.

“This is bad,” Rachel said.

“Very bad.” Darcy sighed. “I knew it was bad, but not cartel bad.”

“Is that where you were taken?” Allison asked quietly. “Mexico?”

“Yes.”

“Holy fuck,” Rachel stated, letting out a long breath. “I had—we—had no idea. They didn’t tell us that part.”

“This feels like my fault,” I said, bowing my head.

“Hey,” Mia said. “Look at me.”

I took a deep breath and lifted my head to peer at her.

“The Coeur d’Alene boys are here, which means this is first and foremost club business. You got caught up in some shit. This shouldn’t have happened to you, Linden. And their message has been received. Could have been any one of us. We don’t need the guys to point that out. So don’t you dare apologize for any of this. What they’re about to do needs to get done. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said with a shaky breath. I took a long drink of the cocktail Mia had made me and then glanced around at the Old Ladies who were smiling at me in compassion—not pity. Never pity with them.

“So,” I began, wanting to change the subject, “how rustic are these cabins?”

* * *

I screamed. My throat was raw with terror. Arms encompassed me and I fought against them, thrashing to escape their confinement.

Someone cursed.

Male.

My hand throbbed.

Why was it throbbing?

Oh, right.

Because someone had taken a mallet and a screwdriver to it.

I wept tears of fear and pain.

“Linden. Linden, wake up.”

My hand collided with flesh.

“Shit!”

Something crashed to the floor—it sounded like glass.

I turned my head and opened my eyes to darkness. Tears cascaded down my cheeks, and my neck was hot and feverish.

A light came on, banishing the cobwebs of my dream. The memory of blood cloyed at the back of my throat, and I desperately wanted to gulp water to rid myself of the pain and horror.

Boxer stood at the edge of the bed wearing nothing but a pair of navy briefs. His eyes were wide with concern.

“What happened?” I croaked, attempting to sit up.

“You were having a nightmare,” he said flatly. “I tried to wake you up, but all that did was make you fight me more.”

He turned his head, and I noticed an angry red welt along his cheekbone. “Did I do that?” I asked in horror.

“Yup. Should have a pretty good shiner in a few days.” He moved to the edge of bed and took a seat. “Don’t worry about me, Linden. How’s your hand?”

“Hurts.” I’d only had one of Mia’s cocktails, knowing I was going to need some painkillers if I had any hopes of sleeping through the night. “What time is it?”

He got up off the mattress and went to the bedside table to grab his cell phone. “A little after four. We might as well get up.”

I nodded but didn’t make a move.

“What?” Boxer asked. “What is it?”

I bit my lip. “You can back out, you know?”

“Back out of what?”

“Marrying me.”

“Ah, shit, woman,” he muttered. He wrapped me in his embrace and gently pulled me into him. He brushed his lips across my forehead. “If you think a punch to the face or a nightmare is enough to scare me off, then you don’t know me at all.”

“It’s more than that, and you know it,” I murmured.

“I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. I don’t know if you’ll ever believe me. But if my ring is on your finger and my last name is yours, then maybe you’ll start to trust it. Trust us.”

I sighed and lifted my mouth to his. He gently covered my lips, and I sank into the feel of him. In the feel of us.

I trusted this aspect of our relationship. Why couldn’t I trust the emotional aspect of it too?

I got dressed in a sundress and matching cardigan that Joni and Mia had packed for me, and then Boxer and I went downstairs.

Darcy was already awake, and the coffee maker was on, gurgling and wafting the bold aroma of coffee through the kitchen and living room.

“I didn’t know you were an early riser,” I said to her.

Every time I’d seen her, her hair had been done and her makeup had been in place. But this morning, she was dressed casually in a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt, her face scrubbed clean.

“She’s not,” Gray said, coming up behind his Old Lady and wrapping her in his arms. Darcy leaned back against him and tilted her face up to his for a kiss. He obliged her. “She takes forever to wake up, usually.”

“Then why—oh,” I said in realization, heat coloring my cheeks. “You heard me.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said without any hesitation. “We heard you.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Gray said. “Don’t apologize. You’re dealing with your shit. It’s okay.”

Boxer pulled me into his side. I buried my face against him, wishing my trauma wasn’t so vocal. Wishing everyone didn’t know about it, even though hiding away from it wouldn’t do me any good, anyway.

By five thirty in the morning, everyone was awake except for the children. People kept shooting me loaded looks, and it became too much. I took my cup of coffee out back, ducking my head and refusing to meet penetrating gazes.

I sat in a camp chair near the bonfire that had long since burned out.

The screen door opened and then creaked shut. I didn’t turn, expecting it to be Boxer or Mia. I couldn’t contain my surprise when I saw it was Reap. He plopped down in the chair next to me, a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Mind if I smoke?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He grinned. “Then I won’t.” He reached into his inner breast pocket of his leather cut and extracted a flask.

“A little early for that, isn’t it?” I asked.

“I haven’t gone to bed yet,” he said. “And it’s not for me. It’s for you.”

“What is it?”

“Bailey’s.”

I handed him my mug, and he poured a hefty shot into it. He gave it back to me. I took a sip and nearly purred in delight.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Just what the doctor ordered.”

“I might not be a doctor anymore,” I said.

“You’ll always be a doctor. You just might not be a surgeon.”

I stared into my coffee. “Ouch. Rip off that Band-Aid, Reap.”

“I’m sorry as fuck it happened to you, Linden. If any of us could undo it, we would.”

I nodded.

“Did Rach ever tell you how we met?”

“No.”

“Her friend dragged her to a party at the clubhouse. Wasn’t really her scene. Her friend ditched her, and she was kinda stranded. She went into a room, hoping to escape the party. Shit was getting rowdy. Real rowdy.” He grinned. “I was sitting in the dark, nursing a bottle of liquor. It was supposed to be a one-night stand.”

“Clearly it wasn’t.”

“Clearly,” he agreed.

“Why are you telling me this, Reap?”

“Because life doesn’t always go according to plan. And sometimes, even the shittiest situations bring something good. I was drinking alone in the dark because it was the anniversary of my first wife’s death.”

“Oh,” I said quietly.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Reap.”

“Thanks, but that’s not why I told you.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“To remind you that sometimes life is shit, but shit is just manure, and beautiful things can grow in manure.”

It wasn’t poetry and it wouldn’t heal my wounds, but it was comfort. And I took it.

After the adults were fed and caffeinated, the Blue Angels began loading luggage into the cars of their Old Ladies.

I was going to ride with Joni since I couldn't drive myself. Colt put a sleepy Silas in the passenger seat of Mia’s truck and then had a not-so-private goodbye with his wife.

Rachel flung herself into Reap’s arms, and I could tell by the shaking of her shoulders that emotion was getting the better of her. After Reap had shared the story of how he and Rachel met, watching them saying goodbye made me a bit teary myself.

Torque leaned down and gently cradled his infant son’s head, and then he stared deeply into Allison’s eyes and whispered something I couldn’t hear. She nodded and kissed him. When she pulled back, her expression was resolute and strong.

“Hey,” Boxer said, drawing my attention to him.

He pressed his body against mine, forcing me against the passenger door of Joni’s car.

“I’m coming home to you,” he said. “I promise.”

My eyes were misty when they met his. “There are some promises you can’t keep, Boxer.”

“I don’t know if you’re the praying type, but if you are, send us your prayers, darlin’. We’re gonna to need it.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “When I get home, I’m gonna do right by you, Linden. I’m gonna propose the way I should have proposed.” He flashed a smile. “And I’m gonna convince you that I’m the man you always wanted. I’m gonna convince you that us meeting wasn’t a mistake, that I’m not something else that you have to regret. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

I touched my lips to his, breathing in his scent, praying in that moment that he came home safely, praying they all came home safely.