Catherinelle by Diane Portman-Ray

 

14

 

What a jackass!

I gaped at the opened door of the shower cabin, not believing that he just walked out like that. My head got dizzy with wrath. Everything had to be so hot and cold with him. A few moments ago, he was so tender and attentive; he made love to me until I felt the ground move under us, and now I was given the cold shoulder. Son of a bitch!

Pissed, I turned the water off and dried myself with a fluffy, white towel that was neatly packed under the sink and walked to the bedroom. Hugo was nowhere to be seen and that infuriated me even more. I thought I was supposed to be the moody teenager here.

I was too tired and charged with emotions, and my body was too sore to chase him around the house, so I just killed the lights, snuggled under the covers and tried my best to not burst out crying. It wasn’t sadness but anger that was the root of my tears. I couldn’t believe he just left me like that over a simple fucking question. I forgave Hugo Mustafa for a lot of shit. I forgave him for scaring my friends, for beating up my date and for treating me like a child, but this? He abandoned me without a word. There would be a lot of groveling in his future, and maybe he was right to try and stay away from me. I just hoped he’d remember that I was a principessa. I always got my way.

 

~

 

I woke up with a ray of sunshine playing on my face. It was still pretty early. I didn’t get many hours of sleep, and I was definitely not rested at all, but I couldn’t stay there anymore. I wanted Hugo to look into my eyes and see how fucking pissed I was with him.

I pushed myself up, ready to jump out of bed and regretted it immediately. My body screamed from the sudden movement, all my muscles were sore, and I was uncomfortable…in other parts. Damn, I hoped this was a one-time thing. I felt like a bus had hit me last night, which was not far from the truth – Hugo was almost the size of a school bus, and our bodies did do a lot of hitting.

I wrapped myself in a short satin robe with lace borders and my pink fluffy slippers and walked downstairs. The house was extremely silent, so Hugo was either still sleeping, or he was gone for good. I didn’t think he’d abandon me in the Hamptons because if I had to hitchhike my way back to New York, my brother would have skinned him alive. Forcing my feet to not turn and go check the guestroom, I started the espresso machine with one hand and dialed my mom on the kitchen landline with the other.

“Hello.” I heard her soothing voice at the other end of the call.

“Good morning, mom.”

“Good morning, bambina!” she said cheerfully. “How are you feeling today, better?”

Right, because last night I told her I was battling the worst migraine in history.

“Yeah, I took some…” dick, mom. Hugo’s dick, “ibuprofen. All good now. I’m surprised you answered. No church?”

My mother was God’s number one girl. I could have counted the Sundays she missed mass this year on one hand, and usually, she made Gino and I attend too. It was a rare occasion when Simona Nucci was not in her pew praying for our family.

“Honey, I tried my best to convince your aunt to go, but you know how she is.” I loved my aunt, but I could bet my left leg she didn’t go down on her knees to pray. “It seemed rude to leave her all alone in the house. When are you going back to the city?”

“Um, I don’t know. Maybe I should pay a visit to Freddy and Caro today. I feel bad for going home so suddenly, especially now that Gino is a no show.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I talked to them, but maybe you could invite Caroline out for lunch this week or take Giana to the park. Caroline really wants to show you how cute the dress you got her looks.”

“Will do. I think I’ll just go back to home then. I have to find Hugo first. I don’t think he slept here last night.” I was overcompensating because this was my mother I was talking to. She had this weird talent of sensing whatever was happening with me and my brother.

“Oh, he wouldn’t have left you alone. Who knows, a lot of the men were in the Hamptons for Freddy’s party, maybe he got called on business. Why don’t I send someone to come and get you, and we can have some afternoon tea? Liz is coming by too to say hello to your aunt.”

“Liz? Which one, Liz who always bakes us apple pie or Liz with the ugly laugh.”

“Liz Berlusconi, your godmother, so be polite. Her son will drop her off.”

“So Liz with the ugly laugh.” She sounded like an electric chainsaw, but an idea had already sprouted in my mind. A childish, stupid idea. “Is her son staying? I haven’t seen Stephan since my birthday last March.”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure he’ll stay if you want to see him.”

Jack. Pot.

“Cool, mom. Can you send your driver to pick me up?” I felt bad for making someone drive almost two hours, but there was no way in hell I’d go to Hugo and ask him to take me to Great Neck.

“Of course, baby.”

“I’ll wait. See you, mom.”

I drank my cup of ristretto watching the ocean out the window. The sun was pale, struggling to put a shiny cover over the dark waves fighting to get to the shore. There was a strong breeze today, and the ocean was as restless as I was feeling inside.

In the end, I abandoned the coffee cup in the sink, knowing that someone would come and clean everything after we left and went upstairs to take a shower, change and do my make up. I put on a black turtleneck that made my boobs look fabulous and a white A-line mini skirt. And since Hugo seemed to like them so much, the thigh high boots I wore last night. I blew out my hair and put some gold around my wrists to look more stylish. When I was ready, I saw my mother’s driver pulling up to the house through one of the windows and went back downstairs to find Hugo waiting on the big white couch in the living room.

“Catherinelle…”

Nice try, Monster.

“Can’t talk, I’m late,” I said without looking at him, going straight to the door and grabbing my parka from the coatrack.

“Late? Late where?”

“I’m going to my mom’s. The driver is outside.”

I put the coat on while he was looking at me like I’d grown a penis in the middle of my forehead.

“You don’t need a driver. I am your driver.”

“Take the day off,” I said and shrugged which made him grab my arm to stop what I was doing.

“Cat, you should have told me to take you to your mother’s place.”

“I didn’t know where you were,” I snapped. “I thought you left.”

He hung his head, looking ashamed, but it couldn’t be that. I doubted the Monster even knew the meaning of the word shame.

“I was in the other bedroom. Catherinelle, I…look…”

I was dying to hear what he had to say, but I couldn’t give him that. It was time for Hugo Mustafa to learn that I wasn’t that kid he could call into the room only when he wanted to play hide and seek with me for five minutes.

“Look, Hugo, the driver is waiting for me. I don’t have time for this, ok? It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal, and I’ll drive you.”

“I made that man drive all the way here, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Catherinelle, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be close to me right now. I fucked up, but this is not about…last night.” He paused awkwardly. “I can’t let you go without any protection.”

Fucking hell, this was about his stupid duty.

“Then follow behind, because I’m getting in that car,” I said and jerked my arm free from his grasp.

Outside, my mom’s driver, Jim, was waiting to open the door for me, and we said hello. I saw his face change when Hugo walked out in jeans and a t-shirt like it wasn’t the dead of winter outside. He unlocked the Range Rover and walked that way.

He only stopped to give Jim an ugly glare.

“Don’t drive fast; the roads could be icy. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Yes, sir. Shall we, miss Nucci?”

When he offered me his hand to help me settle in the back seat and I took it, I heard Hugo growling under his breath. Yeah, he was going to do a lot of that today.

The gates opened, and both cars hit the road. I sat there in silence listening to the music on the radio, but I wasn’t able to relax. I could feel Hugo’s eyes piercing the back of my head all the way from his car. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to let him tell me how sorry he was for treating me like that after we shared the most intense and unforgettable hour of my life. I couldn’t let him see how strong my weakness for him was though. I had to stay strong and fight my urge to give in to him.

If Hugo Mustafa didn’t give a damn about my feelings, then I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that I cared so much.

After a long and very tense ride, we finally pulled up to my mother’s house, and moments later, I heard the Rover’s tires screeching on the pavement behind me.  I could tell he was still pissed by the way he stopped the car, but I ignored it and turned to my mom, who was waiting for me in the door frame with a smile on her face. It was the same every time I came here; she always looked like I’d been gone a year.

“Welcome, bambina.” She pulled me into a tight hug.

“Mom, we saw each other yesterday.”

She just rolled her eyes at me, which was Simona Nucci’s way of saying she knew best.

“You’ll see how it is for yourself when you have children, Cat.” This was one of her favorite things to say to Gino and I. “Come on, let’s go inside. Liz and Stephan are so excited to see you.”

Right when I was ready to go inside, her eyes fell on Hugo, who was standing silently next to his car. I threw him a look over my shoulder and shrugged in my mother’s direction.

“He insisted I had to have protection.”

“You do need protection. Hugo, dear, how are you?”

“Good morning, Mrs. Nucci,” he said it with a stoic grimace on his face, but his eyes were covered by a mist of shame. Hopefully, my mom wouldn’t pick up on that.

"Come inside, dear; it's freezing out here.”

“No need, Simona. I can go to a coffee shop and come pick Catherinelle up later this afternoon.”

“Nonsense. Inside now, son.” There was no room for negotiation in her tone.

Hugo started walking towards us with his hands in his pockets and his head down, trying really hard to avoid my mother’s gaze. I wouldn’t have guessed shame was in his spectrum of emotions, but he was obviously uncomfortable to be in the same proximity with my mom after taking her only daughter’s virginity.

“Simona, I don’t want to intrude. I can wait somewhere for Cat to be done.”

“Don’t talk crazy; we only have a few guests. My sister, of course, is here and the Berlusconi family. Well, just Liz and her son.” Obviously, since Tony Berlusconi was serving fifteen years after he was caught red handed beating the shit out of a guy in SoHo. Maybe they would have let him go with a slap on the wrist if at the time he wouldn’t have been out on parole. “Have you had breakfast yet, Hugo?”

“Not yet, ma’am.”

Oh, boy. Breakfast was my mother’s favorite meal of the day. All my life, she force-fed my brother and I every morning like she was trying to make sure the food would last us all day. I hadn’t been able to eat lunch until my mom moved out of New York City.

“Let’s take you straight to the kitchen.” That would keep him occupied for a while. “Cat, have you eaten?”

“Yes,” I lied quickly. I was too sad and pissed to have an appetite.

“Then go to the living room already. Everyone is waiting for you.”

She basically pushed me in the direction of the cheery voices of two women while she took Hugo to the kitchen. When Aunt Diana and Liz saw me, they both jumped up, excited and opened their arms, so I went to give them both a hug and kiss their cheeks.

“Liz, you look so good.”

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart, I went to the salon this morning to blow out my hair before coming here. Doesn’t my hair girl have a magic hand?”

I mean, it was ok.

“Fabulous.” I tried to be polite.

“Come here and sit next to my Stephan. He was so excited when your mother said you asked for him to stay. Weren’t you, honey?” He just nodded. “But, of course, you wanted to see him. Isn’t he handsome, Catherinelle?”

Not when his mommy was fishing compliments for him, he wasn’t. Stephen Berlusconi was almost twenty years old, and he was a good-looking kid; he always was. God blessed him with blonde hair like his mom’s and deep green eyes like his dad’s, and he was tall and always slender but not skinny. I could bet my left arm that with his name, his money, and that look, Stephan already had a pretty impressive portfolio of girls. I knew that my mom and Liz – especially Liz – would be crazy happy if I’d shown any interest in him. He was a good, catholic, Italian boy, and he was associated with the family. In a few years, Stephan would take over his father’s duties, enforcing my brother’s rules in the Nucci territory. He was exactly the type of man they’d pick out for me – the type of man I was going to end up with – but looking at him right then, I felt nothing. His beautiful face, his dreamy eyes, they meant nothing to me. My heart was craving Hugo’s rawness and imperfections. Stephan didn’t have rough scars on his face so I could trace them with my lips; he didn’t have signs of blisters on his fists from punching walls every time he got mad, and he definitely didn’t have nine silver balls on his dick.

When my mom mentioned Stephan, I had jumped at the opportunity of spending some time with him because I knew she wouldn’t keep it a secret, and sooner or later, Hugo would have found out about my little date and be pissed. Hugo was not the man to appreciate games, but I was hurt, and like a cobra, I wanted to strike back. The fact that he was here to watch was even better, but it was hard to pretend I had eyes for Stephen when I could still feel Hugo inside of me.

“Stephan.” I smiled at him and went in for a hug. After all, we were childhood friends. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Good to see you too, Cat. Hey, you look great!”

Too good for you, Steph.

“Thank you. How long has it been? You never come by anymore. Remember when we were kids, you would come over all the time.” I spoke louder on purpose, making sure Hugo heard me. “I was so happy when mom told me you were coming.”

He smiled, surprised by my enthusiasm.

“Hey, if I knew you wanted to see me, I would have stopped by. You should have called.”

We sat on my mom’s white leather couch, and Stephan moved slightly closer to me. I stayed there for two hours listening to the three women talk and gossip about everyone they’d ever known and chatted with Stephan. He asked how I felt now that I was graduating high school and tried to convince me that the good life was about to start. I made sure to laugh at all his jokes and touch his shoulder or grab his arm from time to time. I had no idea where in the house Hugo was, but I knew he was close, and I knew he was watching me. I could feel his penetrating eyes preying over me so I pushed it.

Stephan said something about the time he was playing lacrosse in his high school team, and I put my hand on his leg, right above his knee.

“Oh, I remember coming to your games a couple of times. With Gino, remember?” It only happened once, and the only reason we went was because Stephan’s father was arrested the week before. We tried to offer him some comfort.

“I do, yes. You were the prettiest cheerleader my team ever had.”

I knew my mother, my aunt, and Liz were watching us with hawk eyes, seeing my sweet behavior towards Stephan, but it was a price I had to pay.

“You were so good on the field.”

“I tried my best,” he said and leaned even closer to me, our thighs almost touching. “I’m glad it impressed you.”

He was definitely getting into my game, trying to flirt as much as possible under the vigilant and very interested looks from our mothers. When he leaned back, smiled and casually put his hand over my shoulder, I felt the energy in the room change, and the hairs on the back of my neck raised, but it had nothing to do with Stephan. My body felt Hugo getting closer. He was now a few feet away, looking at me with murder in his eyes.

“I’m sorry to intrude,” he said to everyone in the room but looked only at me. “I have to take Catherinelle back to the city.”

Huh?

My mother got up and turned to speak to him.

“Hugo, you are silent like a cat. Next time make a noise when you enter a room, dear. If you need to go back, I can send Cat with my driver later.”

“Not possible, ma’am. Gino’s order. We need to go back. He’ll call soon and wants to talk to Catherinelle.”

I wasn’t buying that bullshit for a second.

“Ok, then.” My mother gave in. She would never question Gino’s decisions in front of other people. “Cat, please say goodbye.”

Liz was the first to jump up and kiss me on both cheeks with a new found enthusiasm, probably because she actually thought I was interested in her son. The Berlusconi family was powerful, but man, they would love to tie themselves tighter with the Nucci name.

“It’s such a shame that you have to go, Cat,” she said with some over dramatic sadness. “You and Stephan were having such a good time. You have to come visit us soon.”

Oh, fuck. I had to get out of this. Stephan Berlusconi had served his purpose in my book.

“Sure, we’ll keep in touch.” I tried to move on, but she held onto my wrists.

“How about next Wednesday?”

If she wasn’t grabbing my arm so tightly, I would have slapped my forehead. I should have seen this coming, but I was too focused on Hugo.

“I’ll see how my schedule is and have mom call you, Liz. Thank you for the invitation.”

Luckily for me, Aunt Diana cut in, and I went in for a hug while she whispered in my ear that I could do better than the Berlusconi kid, and I completely agreed with her. Who wanted a boy when I already had a taste of a full-fledged man, forged in sheer force and savagery? A fool, and I – Catherinelle Nucci – was not a fool.

Mom walked me to the door, and we said goodbye after I promised to let her know what Gino wanted, which would probably be hard to do since I was almost entirely sure Hugo hadn’t spoken to my brother at all.

The moment the door closed behind us, Hugo took me by the elbow and marched me to his car like I was under arrest, virtually throwing me in the passenger seat. He didn’t say a word, but his body spoke for him. Today, I had managed to step on all his nerves, which was exactly what he deserved for the way he treated me. It was time for the Monster to see that this little girl was ready to fight him down.

He put the car in drive and pulled out onto the usual road we took when we were going back to New York, and I waited a few moments before breaking the silence.

“Did Gino really call?” But all I got for an answer was an animal-like sound.

Hugo kept his eyes glued to the road, refusing to acknowledge me in any way until we got on the Long Island Expressway, that was almost entirely empty at this hour. He pulled the car over suddenly and got out. I watched him walk in circles a few times in front of the car, confused by his actions and then suddenly, I felt a gush of cold air hitting me when Hugo opened the passenger door. He pulled it so hard, for a second, I thought he had ripped it from its hinges.

“Hugo, what the hell are you doing?”

“Don’t fucking talk,” he shot back, and I scowled.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not one of the lookouts you order around all the time.”

My voice went up a few notches, and I was ready to scream at him a little more, when his fist connected with the back door of the Range Rover. The bang sound was so loud, it made me jump in my seat.

Hugo and I had had many arguments in the past couple of months, but I’d never seen him lose control like this, except for the little incident with Nate. He was a red-blooded man with a short temper, sure, but not around me. Never around me until today.

“Do you want to see me back in jail, Catherinelle?”

I gaped at him with my eyes open wide. Why would he say that? We didn’t joke about jail in my family.

“What?”

“Do you want to see me behind bars for killing some fucking kid?” Oh. “If he had let one more breath in your direction, I was ready to cut out his tongue in front of your mother.”

Something primal filled my chest with corrupted satisfaction, taking pleasure in his alfa-asshole reaction.

“Hugo…”

“I said don’t talk. The sound of your voice is too much right now. I’m trying so hard right now.”

“Trying what?” I slapped his chest with both my hands, but he didn’t budge. “You left me. You turned your back on me, minutes – minutes! – after we had sex! You have no right to be mad at me, God damn it!”

“I fucking know. I’m a fucking asshole!” he roared and grabbed my ankles, pulling my legs and making me open up in front of him. “I told you I’m trying to control myself, but you just don’t listen.”

He ripped my lingerie, and in two seconds, one of his fingers was inside of me while his thumb was pressing on my clit.

“Oh, fuck,” I whispered, surprised by his move. It felt amazing; this time there was no pain or resistance on my side. I was dripping wet since I laid eyes on him this morning.

“It’s fucking unfair, Cat, but this,” he pushed further into my pussy. “it’s mine. I tasted it; I made it cum, and I fucked it. You’re not gonna show my pussy to a piece of shit, good for nothing, son of a fucking mafia lieutenant like Stephan Berlusconi.”

I wanted to scream that I was only his – forever – but the pleasure was so intense, it choked me, and no sound came out. I was falling into a Hugo inducted spiral of pleasure in broad daylight, on the side of the road, where everyone could see, and I didn’t give a shit. I wanted them to see. I wanted him and the whole world to know that I was really his.

…If only Hugo would mean the words too.