My Next Play by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 21

Nessa

“Excuse me?”I asked as I leaned against the back of the couch. My head ached, but it wasn’t from the stitches. Instead, I sat there, trying to comprehend exactly what my agent was telling me. “You have three offers, Nessa. And they’re good offers. Fantastic offers.”

Nothing computed at the moment. “How? I wasn’t expecting anything.”

“I know you weren’t. You never do, Nessa. You’re so talented. I saw that right away, and we have a lot more things to go over, but we have time to look over everything.”

“I don’t understand,” I whispered.

“This is the call, Nessa. The. Call. We’ll make decisions and talk it over, but you’re going to be okay. I promise you.”

We talked some more, and as my tears threatened, I knew I would look over everything later and talk with her about every single detail, but I couldn’t focus right now.

All in the span of a week, I had broken up with Miles, realized I had fallen in love with him, been attacked, hurt, and watched someone be handcuffed and taken away. I had watched Miles get put into an ambulance. I had done the same. Now, it seemed I had a fucking deal for my trilogy.

I had sold my book. I would be okay.

The next semester would still be tough, but if I knew I had some income coming in, I could use my loan and the funds from the house for the next semester and know I had money coming in the next year. It would be tight, but there was a way now.

I had a future. One I would still work hard at and continue relying on things other than just my advance. I wouldn’t quit everything and pretend I was a full-time author. But I had options now.

Real options.

I could barely breathe.

My dad had gone to work since he couldn’t take any more time off. He had already taken off enough with Mom, and we were only just now catching up to that.

He was working way more hours than I was, trying to keep us afloat.

The house I had grown up in was filled with boxes as my dad had found a smaller home to live in. This one would be on the market in the next week, but I had still stayed this past week, healing and just trying to be.

The girls visited, as did the guys—at least Pacey and Dillon did.

Miles hadn’t come, nor had Tanner. Tanner had texted, saying that he was glad I was okay.

Technically, it had only been five days, but it felt like a full week. Miles had gotten home the day before as they had kept him for a few days because they had been worried about internal bleeding. The guys kept me up to date, but Miles had lost his phone in the accident. Mine had been taken away for evidence, and I had only recently gotten a new one, thanks to Natalie. I hadn’t wanted to rely on her or anyone, but she had said that I needed a phone. I would take it, even if I didn’t really like it.

I didn’t know if Miles had gotten a new one yet.

I wanted to call him, tell him I was sorry. Say that I loved him and wanted to figure things out.

When I got overwhelmed, I freaked out. And I had freaked out.

I had to continue telling myself that things would be okay. My dad and I couldn’t keep this house, but that was fine. The memories in it weren’t the easiest to deal with anyway.

We would make do.

Only I had hurt Miles because I hadn’t been able to handle it all.

The doorbell rang, and I frowned before I got up, gingerly stepping towards it because everything still hurt. I was one big bruise as if I were a dropped peach, but that’s what happened when you were dragged across cement and dirt, kicked, and punched. I tried not to think about the details, though I knew I’d have to talk to someone soon. But not now. Now, I needed to see who was at the door.

My heart sped up as I looked through the peephole. I tried to blink back the tears.

I undid the two locks and opened the door to see Miles standing there. One side of his face was a bruise, and he had a busted lip, but he simply looked at me. I wanted to reach out. I wanted to fall into his arms and tell him that I was sorry, that I never wanted to let go. He had his hands in his pockets, and he looked at me, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose. “Tanner dropped me off. I can’t drive yet.”

“Oh.” I didn’t have any other words, and I felt foolish.

He let out a hollow laugh. “I don’t know why I said that first. Hi, Nessa. Can I come in?”

I stepped back, and he walked through the door. I watched him move, trying to hold myself back from leaping into his arms. He had to hurt like I did, and me jumping on him probably wouldn’t be the best thing for either of us.

“I wanted to see you. I wanted to give you time, but I also wanted to see you. I wasn’t sure if you had your phone yet. I just got mine today, so it’s been a hell of a week.”

I swallowed hard. “I have my phone. Natalie got me one.”

“Me, too.” He laughed. “Apparently, she’s just giving out phones willy-nilly.”

“I think she needed something to do. When she’s stressed out, she tries to take care of everyone. When I’m stressed, I run away.” There. Now it was out there.

“I think I do the same thing, though I wasn’t even aware I did.”

I looked up at him.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. For acting like I didn’t need you. For thinking you were the one thing that was too much. You weren’t, Miles. I’m sorry.”

“Hell.” He shook his head.

My stomach fell, and I nearly staggered back. “Oh,” I said.

“I came over here to tell you that I love you, Nessa. That no matter what happened, I wanted to try to work things out. That I would follow whatever path brought the two of us together, no matter what else we had going on in our lives. I fucking love you so much, Nessa. It may be too soon, but I don’t care. Honest to God, I don’t give a fuck. You’re it for me. Maybe you always have been, and it took me a while to see that. You’re it. I want to see you bloom. I want to see the author and the person you become. I want to be by your side as we figure out the mess that is our lives. I want to figure it all out together. I fucking love you so much, Nessa. So, I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, and I moved forward to cup his face, careful not to hurt his bruises. “I think I’m going to swoon, just like my heroine.”

“Really?” he asked, his voice breathy.

“I love you, too. That’s why I pushed you away when I did. I knew you’d always be there. And that was wrong. I got scared. I am scared. I’ll be better if I’m with you, though. I have so much to tell you, Miles. So much that I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. But no matter what, I don’t want to do it without you. I pushed you away because I was afraid that once you left, it would hurt even more. So, I tried to be the one who left first. And that was wrong.”

“I can go to school here. Or we can go together. We’ll find a way. It’s not either-or—all or nothing. There are ways to make this work.”

“I know that now. I didn’t want to think about it before. It was all too much. And maybe it still is, but I don’t want to do this without you.”

“Then don’t. You don’t ever have to.”

He brushed his lips against mine once more, and I nearly cried, almost fell to the floor in bliss. From a single kiss. I sank into him, being gentle with him. I could barely catch up.

“I sold my book,” I blurted.

He leaned back, his eyes wide. “Are you serious?

“Yes. I haven’t told anyone else. I wanted to tell you first.”

He smiled, the pride in his eyes staggering. “I’d say let’s drink some champagne to celebrate, but I don’t think either of us is allowed to drink right now.”

“Once we’re healed, we’ll celebrate. So many things are changing, and I know the normal Nessa routine would be to keep pushing you away, to shove everyone away. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be with you. I want to find out how we’re going to make this work. I want to make plans with you.”

“Good, because we are going to make those plans, damn it. You and me against the world.”

I kissed him again and knew he was right. Somehow, we’d make it work. It wasn’t all or nothing. It wasn’t this moment or all was lost.

Decisions needed to be made. Plans to take action on. And we would.

Together.