My Next Play by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 7

Nessa

“Haveyou had time to finish your paper?” Everly asked as she shelved a few of the new releases.

“Yes, but I’m probably going to spend the night when I get home going over it and making sure it’s ready to turn in. I swear, I miss so much reading over it only once or twice.”

Everly gave me a small smile. “Considering how hard you worked on it, I’m sure you’ve already proofed it a few times.”

I shrugged. “Yes, Natalie read over it, too. But you know me, I need to make sure it makes sense.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“And, honestly, I’m not too worried about this class because I’m enjoying myself. The other one? Not so much.”

“I thought you said that boy was helping you.”

I blushed, shaking my head. “I don’t think he’s a boy if he’s nearly twenty-two.”

“I’m sorry. I’m now in my thirties, and I feel like I’m aging with each passing day. At least, I’m going to keep telling myself I’m in my thirties, even though I may be in my forties now. I don’t remember, and I’m not going to try to do the math.”

I laughed and shook my head. “If it helps, you don’t look a day over eighty-two.”

She shoved my arm playfully and rolled her eyes. “You know, I was going to say that you were in the employee of the month running. But, sorry, I can’t do it now. You’ve ruined your chances.”

“We don’t even have an employee of the month.”

“You were going to be the first one. Then you called me old.”

I winked. “You called yourself old first.”

“True. I might have. Yet having someone else call me old means it’s time to start the firing.” She laughed as she said it, and I ducked my head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. My kids called me old the other day because I needed their help opening an app. An app. My generation invented them. And now it seems I’m ancient and need to go sit in my rocker.”

“You’re not an aging spinster, Everly.”

“Some days, I feel like it. But back to what I was asking before. Is that hunky man of yours going to help you with statistics?” Sadly, she didn’t fall for my trick of trying to change the subject.

“He’s not my man.”

“And yet, he is hunky,” she said, waggling her brows. “And if he’s a man and not some eighteen-year-old, that means I can say that.”

“Yes, he’s a man.”

“From the way you said that, it sounds like you want him to be your man.”

I shook my head as I opened another box of books. “I don’t want him to be mine. He’s my friend and lives with Pacey and the others. I’m not entertaining another crush on one of the guys who lives in that house.”

Everly knew all about my crush on Pacey and my new one on Miles that I wouldn’t do anything about. While she was nowhere near old enough to be my mother, I had latched onto Everly when I lost my mom. Just enough that I didn’t feel so alone. I had people in my life who cared about me. Including my father. I needed to remember that.

I pushed those thoughts from my mind and tried to remember what we had been talking about. “As for Miles, yes, he’s going to help me with my stats class. We’re studying tomorrow to go over my homework. I’m having trouble with a few things, and it probably doesn’t help that my mind goes in a thousand different directions sometimes.”

“You have a job, a full course load, friends, and maybe, sometimes dating. It’s college. Of course, you’re tired. And you’re working on your final year. It’s a lot.”

I shrugged. “And now I’m supposed to look at grad schools. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.” I hadn’t meant to say that last part aloud.

“No? I thought that was the plan. What’s going on, Nessa?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It is. You’re talking about getting your master’s. And being a professor. And writing your book.”

“That’s everything I’ve wanted to do since I was a little kid. And yet, it doesn’t seem feasible. It’s not going to pay my bills.”

“People with English degrees do make money. They find careers.”

“I’m floundering a bit, and I hate it.”

“You’ve had a few shocks to your system over the past couple of years. It’s all right to not have your life together at twenty. I sure didn’t. Sometimes, I feel like I never have my life together.”

“You have wonderful kids, a growly and glowing husband. I’m pretty sure you do.”

Everly smiled even as she shook her head. “And I have bills, sleepless nights… And, hey, my bookstore burned down. Things get complicated.”

That made me wince. “I know. It still makes me sad thinking about this place when it burned down.”

Everly shuddered. “Me, too. I don’t want to think about it. So, we won’t. However, I had people to rely on back then, even though I almost didn’t see it in time. You have people, too. Including this man-boy,” she said with a laugh. “One who is simply your friend but can help with your classes. Are you helping him with anything?”

“Cooking? I don’t know. That seems like something he and Natalie do together. Not that I’m jealous. I swear I’m not.”

“It didn’t sound that way. I swear. It seemed like you knew where the boundaries were and were trying to find a way to repay him.”

“Yes, or maybe I’m just tired.”

“You’re allowed to be. Now, you have thirty minutes left on your shift. Let’s go figure out which books you’re adding to your pile, and then we can finish setting up the final display.”

“I don’t know what I’d do for books if I didn’t work in a bookstore,” I said drily. There was always the library, which I adored and used often, but sometimes I loved the luxury of choice.

“You know, that’s what I tell myself about owning one. As it is, Storm won’t let me buy any more bookshelves for the house.”

“That’s sacrilege!”

“Not when there’s a bookshelf on every wall in my house, and there’s physically no room. However, he’s thinking about building me a she-shed just for books.”

I nearly swooned. “That’s romance. True love.”

“Don’t I know it. Now, let’s pick out your books.”

We started up to the front as Miley waved us down. “Nessa, these flowers were delivered for you when you were in the back. A customer was here, so I couldn’t call you.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

Everly leaned forward. “Oh. Maybe it’s the man-boy.”

“Please stop calling him that. And I thought it was boy-man.”

“I don’t know. I’m making things up as I go along. So, who’re they from?”

I frowned and looked at the yellow roses mixed with daisies. It was an odd arrangement that seemed happy. I looked at the card and stared at the two women. “I’ve no idea who they would be from.”

“No dates?”

I frowned, shook my head. “One sort of recently. But it didn’t work out, and we both agreed on it being the end.”

“All right. Well, read the card.” Everly tilted her head, studying me.

I pulled the little card out of the envelope and sighed.

Thinking of you. I hope you’re having a good day. —Dad.

I blinked. “It’s from my dad,” I said, frowning. “Why would he spend money on flowers?”

“It was a sweet gesture.” I could hear the hesitancy in Everly’s voice.

“Maybe. Only Dad doesn’t need to spend money on flowers.”

“Thank him. He’s probably having a stressful time, just like you are. Maybe he needed to do something to make you smile.”

I leaned forward, sniffing the roses and the daisies. “I guess so. Although, Dad should know that yellow is my least favorite color. Not that I don’t love him and these,” I said with a laugh. “Of course, it’s Dad. Sometimes those details slip his mind.”

“That’s guys for you.” Everly shook her head.

“Not your guy.” Miley smiled. “Storm knows all about you.”

“He truly does,” I agreed.

Everly clasped her hands against her chest and sighed. “Yes, I’m lucky. One day, you’ll be lucky, too. Though, I will say you are already lucky because your father is sending you flowers to make you happy. Don’t think about the cost. You’re allowed to splurge on happy things.”

“Yes, let me text him a thank you, and then we’ll get back to the display.”

Everly waved me off. “No, text him and then take those flowers home. I know you have homework to do.”

“I do,” I said with a smile. “Seriously, they are cute.”

“And happy,” Miley agreed.

I sniffed the blooms again and quickly pulled out my phone.

Me:Thank you, I love you.

Dad:I love you too.

No more words were needed. I shook my head, packed up my things, and carefully got my flowers out to my car. I buckled them in, grateful for the square base, and made my way home. I had to go over my paper, and I wanted to look at the homework I planned to work through with Miles when he got there the next day.

It would be a long night, but I was used to them. It was college, after all.

I also needed to start looking at financial aid for next semester and investigating other financial avenues. I needed to go to grad school for certain parts of my future dreams. And I would need to get loans to help me through it.

I didn’t think working at a bookstore near another university would cut it. I had the applications for grad schools all over my desk, ready to be filled out. I just wasn’t there yet. Even though everything was online, I still printed out what I could so I could make a to-do list. It was just a little too much, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.

I pulled into the driveway and parked off to the side, grateful that I was home. I got out of the car and nearly ran into a large body. I looked up and froze.

“Xander?”

“Hey. I was just walking by on the way to a friend’s and thought I’d say hi.”

Something tingled at the back of my neck but I shrugged it off. I didn’t know why he was here. Even if it seemed odd, I didn’t want to make things weird—even though it felt strange.

“I didn’t know you knew where I lived,” I said slowly.

He held up his hands. “One of my friends lives across the way there.” He pointed at one of the larger homes where I knew some students lived. “I saw you one day. Totally not stalking,” he said with an awkward laugh.

“That’s...great?” Things hadn’t been awkward when neither of us had offered to go on another date after our last one. Now, they sure as hell felt strange.

“It’s good to see you, Nessa. You look great.”

“Hmm.” I didn’t like the look in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure what to say. “I have homework to do, and I just got off work. It’s nice to see you, Xander.”

His eyes warmed, and I knew I probably had said the wrong thing. “It is nice to see you, too. I know we didn’t get to firm up any plans for our next date, but I figured since I’m here, why not?”

This was definitely awkward now. We were not on the same page, and I had no idea how to get out of this. I’d never let anyone down before. It wasn’t like I’d ever been dumped. Things had just fizzled out naturally. Or didn’t fizzle at all, like with Pacey.

“Xander...” I began.

His shoulders fell. “It’s like that, is it?”

“You’re a nice guy.”

He sighed. “Nice guy. Nice guy. It’s always the nice guy. I may be nice, but I can be bad, too. Or maybe that’s not what you want. Do you want the sizzle? We didn’t get that good kiss. You can’t just dump me without kissing me.”

Alarm shot up my spine. “Xander, I can’t dump you because we weren’t even dating.”

“We were dating. We went on two dates. Dating. Went. On. Dates. That’s what it’s called.”

“Xander. I’m sorry. I don’t want to say it’s not you, it’s me, but I’m not in a good place for a relationship right now.”

Could I put any more cliches out there? I really wanted to go inside, but he wasn’t going to let me. At least, not right now.

“I just think that you need to see what you’re missing. And then you’ll understand.” Before I could take a breath, his hands were on my shoulders, and his lips were plastered to mine. He pushed me back against the car. I froze, not knowing what to do. He forced his tongue into my mouth, and I screamed, pushing him back.

“See? That’s what you were missing.”

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and shook. “No. You don’t get to do that.”

“Excuse me?” he asked. “I was kissing you. To show you what we could have.”

My hands shook, and bile filled my mouth. “Stop. Go away. I’m sorry, but it’s not going to work out, Xander. I didn’t want you to kiss me. I didn’t let you. You don’t get to force that.”

“So now you’re going to call it forced? All I did was kiss you. Good God, we went on a date. We’re dating.”

“No, we aren’t. Go away.” My heart raced, and I swallowed hard. He was blocking my way to the door. I didn’t know if anybody was home. I didn’t know how I could get out of this. My keys were in my hand. Maybe I could hit him with them, but then what? Could I run fast enough?

“Nessa?” Miles’ deep voice reached my ears as he came forward.

Relief filled me, even as Xander glared. “We’re talking here.” Xander smiled, but the look sent shivers down my spine.

Miles raised a brow. “Nessa? Want to come and stand by me?”

“Gladly.” I took a step, but Xander reached out and gripped my arm—hard enough to leave bruises. “Let go,” I snapped, pulling away from him.

“We’re talking. Get lost,” Xander snarled at Miles.

Miles came forward. It was then that I realized how big Miles was. He sometimes hunched his shoulders and looked a little geeky, doing his best not to take up space. But out of all the roommates, Miles was the largest. He was wide, full of muscle, and those broad shoulders were good enough to pit against any hockey player.

“You’re going to want to let her go right now,” Miles growled.

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and I saw the danger in his eyes.

My heart raced. I just wanted this to end. I wanted to get inside.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Xander growled.

“I’m Nessa’s friend. You really want to let her go, or I’m going to call the cops.”

“The cops? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I reached out and kicked, lifting my knee. Xander went down, cupping his balls. I practically ran to Miles, mainly because he was between the house and me but also because I wanted to be near him. At his side, I wasn’t alone.

My heart raced, and I couldn’t keep up with my thoughts. So, when Miles took my hand, I freely clung to him and stood slightly behind him. Not entirely, but enough that I felt safer.

I could not believe that I was cowering like this, but I had kneed him. I had fought back.

“You’re going to want to fucking go, or we are going to call the cops,” Miles bit out.

“Go, Xander,” I blurted, wanting this over.

Xander stumbled up and glared. “Fine,” he snapped. “I see there’s been a misunderstanding.” He held up both hands. “I’ll go.”

And then he stomped off toward whatever house he had supposedly been going to, and my knees began to shake. “I think I need to go inside.”

“I’ve got you,” Miles said, and then he picked up my bag, the one I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped, and practically carried me into the house.

The lights were off, and that’s when I realized that Natalie’s car wasn’t in the garage. She wasn’t here. I had been alone. Truly alone. And then Miles was there.

“I just…how are you here? What the hell just happened? My flowers.”

Miles blinked at me, went to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of vodka. “Is this the only alcohol you have?” he asked.

“That and some terrible wine.”

“Do you want a shot?”

“I hate the taste of vodka, but yes.”

He gave me a look, a tight nod, and then pulled out a 7Up. He poured a shot of vodka into two glasses, put in some ice, and poured the soda over it before handing me one. He clinked our glasses, and each of us chugged quickly.

The bubbles of the soda tickled my nose. The vodka burned, but I calmed down, looking at the empty glass in my hand.

I hadn’t even realized I had sat down in my kitchen or that Miles had closed the door behind us.

“What were you saying?”

“My flowers. My dad got me an arrangement. It’s still in my car.”

Miles sighed and held out his hand. “Give me your keys. I’ll make sure that it gets inside.”

“I should be fine going out there. I’m an adult. Only what if he’s out there?”

“Are we going to call the cops?”

I let out a breath. “I’m going to need to. I should have just now, but I didn’t. That was probably the wrong decision, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do at all.”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.” He knelt in front of me. That’s when I realized he was wearing gray sweatpants, running shoes, and a sweatshirt.

“Were you jogging?”

He nodded. “I needed to think, and I do better when I jog or lift weights. Wasn’t in the mood to lift tonight.”

“That’s why you have so many muscles.” I was rambling now, but I didn’t care.

His cheeks reddened. “Probably. When I get stressed, I work out, do math, or play video games. In other words, I do anything but deal with what’s stressing me. Much like this conversation.”

“I can’t believe he did that,” I whispered, tears threatening to fall.

Miles remained kneeling in front of me. I hadn’t realized he was still holding my hands until I looked down at his large palms against mine.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. Xander said he was walking by, much like you just were,” I said softly.

He narrowed his eyes. “You live down the block from me. I always run this way because you have bigger sidewalks than the other street. You’ve seen me running in front of your house before.”

I cringed. “Yes, I’m sorry. I wasn’t comparing you.”

“I get it. It’s fine. Now, I think we’re going to call the cops, we’re going to call the girls, and then we’re going to figure out what to do.”

I froze. “The girls?”

“We need to tell them and maybe the guys so they can be on the lookout. We’re your friends, Nessa. Let us take care of you.”

I nodded, knowing he was right. “Tomorrow. We’ll call the cops now, but we’ll tell the girls tomorrow. They’re all doing their own things, and I don’t want to ruin their nights.”

“Nessa.”

“Please? I always feel like I’m the one people have to come and rescue.”

“You know that is the farthest thing from the truth,” he growled.

“Can I just have tonight?”

He sighed.

“I’ll tell the girls tomorrow, I promise,” I said.

“Okay. Then I’m spending the night,” he stated, and I widened my eyes.

“What?”

“If the girls aren’t here, I’m sleeping on your couch. It’s either that or we bundle you up and you stay at our house. But then you’d have to tell them what happened. I get that you’re going to need a moment to think, and that’s fine. But I’m staying the night. You’re not going to be alone.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

He studied my face and gave me a tight nod. “Okay, then. I’m going to go save your plant.”

That made me laugh. “I think they’re just flowers, not a plant.”

He snorted. “I’ll save your flowers, then. And then we’re going to call the cops. After that, I’m going to get to know your couch. You have school in the morning, and then you’re going to tell the girls everything. Got me?”

“I didn’t know you were so bossy.” My face felt a little warm, hopefully just from the vodka.

“You don’t know a lot of things about me, Nessa. But it seems you’re about to learn some.” He walked off, and I did my best not to look at him go or notice how those gray sweatpants fit him.

My head ached, and I reached for my phone, knowing I would have to go over everything more than once. I wasn’t ready. Miles would be back soon, and he’d help. And, somehow, I’d do my best not to lean on him.

Somehow.

.