Wanting by Lynn Burke

Addilyn

Gideon against my back, feeling how hard I made him, how badly he wanted me, had shaken me up to the point I hadn’t even gone downstairs the rest of the night. I didn’t call Jenny either. What could I tell her that wouldn’t have her swooning and calling me an idiot for not taking advantage of the empty house and a horny man who wanted to lay claim to every inch of my body?

I had the tremors so damn bad I couldn’t even get my homework done. At least I’d managed to get dinner by ringing the phone down in the kitchen so the housekeeper on duty could bring me a sandwich.

Plugging up my ears had kept me from hearing Gideon’s nightly masturbation session later once I heard the shower running, but I still imagined it behind my clenched eyelids.

And feeling his gaze latch onto me when I came down the stairs in the morning…well. My insides swirled with arousal I shouldn’t have, desire that pissed me off. My stepbrother needed to be put into place, so I decided to do just that even though my stomach fluttered and the devil on my shoulder begged me to let go of my stubbornness and give in already.

The threat of the sheriff seemed to do the trick.

I felt Gideon’s stare all through school, that electrical charge whenever he came into sight, but at least he kept his distance.

By sixth period, Jenny expected something was up and cornered me against my locker while we switched out books for our last class. “What the hell is going on?” she hissed, frowning. “What happened with you two?”

My skin tingled, alerting me to Gideon in close proximity, and I knew who Jenny looked at when she glanced up the hallway. Why try to keep anything from her? She could read me easier than anyone.

“He backed me against my bedroom door last night—”

“Oh shit!” Her eyes grew round.

“And was an inch away from kissing me,” I whispered, “and I told him not to.”

She groaned, clutched her books to her chest, and tipped her head back. “You idiot!”

Exactly as I’d expected.

“How could you say no? Are you crazy? And why didn’t you call me last night to give me all the juicy details?”

I shrugged, because I wasn’t sure how to tell her I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Dissect the way he made me feel. “I was too shaken up,” I went with. “As for saying no, I’m going to have that sweet sixteen kiss, Jenny. And it belongs to Devon. He knows it, I know it—hell, we talked about it in fifth grade when he tried to steal a kiss and I smacked him. Remember?”

“Yeah.” She blew out an exhale.

“We pinky swore to be each other’s first kiss, and I keep my promises.”

“Even when a fine piece of man like your brother jerks off every night thinking about you?”

“Step,” I muttered a reminder, slamming my locker door shut harder than necessary.

“Who gives a fuck,” she muttered back, falling in beside me as I strode away from the feel of the jackass’s stare on my backside. “You seriously need to take advantage of that shit before he decides he wants someone else and you’re left wishing you had.”

Devon approached, his smile and goofy lope easing my frown and bringing on a small case of butterflies like always. I wished in that moment he made my whole body break out in goosebumps and cold sweats like Gideon did. With a wink, Devon passed us by, and I told myself waiting for that day in March, for him to fulfill his promise, would be worth it.

If only I could convince the part of my brain that had fallen down the rabbit hole of incognito tab Googling.

“So did you tell your mother you don’t want to do that brunch for your birthday?”

Yet another shitty thing to think on.

“No. We just discussed it that one time over breakfast, and she’s been too caught up in the wedding and vacation since.”

“I think you need to put your foot down for once. It’s your birthday—it should be about you, not her.”

“When has anything in my life been about me and not her?”

Jenny bumped her shoulder against mine. “Seriously. What the hell is her problem?”

“She married up and got to live a life she’d only dreamed about, but I guess when I came along, she lost most of her newfound independence.” I shrugged, having come to terms with the fact that I had an emotionally selfish mother. My throat still tightened regardless.

My best friend clasped my hand. “Well, I for one am beyond happy that she gave birth to you. I can’t imagine going through life without my BFF.”

Her words lightened the heaviness on my shoulders, and I squeezed her hand. “Same. And nothing will ever come between us. We’ll always be close, and our kids will grow up together and love each other just as much as we do.”

“Promise?”

“Definitely.”

“Good,” Jenny stated. “Because you’re the only friend I know who keeps her promises.”

“You do too,” I reminded her, and she blew me a kiss.

Mr. Destil—Lloyd, he insisted I call him once they’d married—returned with my mother after the two weeks I had to walk on eggshells, sneak around the house, and plug my ears on a nightly basis. I managed to avoid Gideon for the most part, staying over at Jenny’s more often than not, but even though he continued to give me the kind of looks that set my nerve endings on fire and made my underarms tingle, he kept his distance.

Days passed without incident, and I eventually breathed easier.

Gideon’s dad and my mother continued to be wrapped up in one another, half the time not even acknowledging our presence. At least we settled into a quieter routine—until Mother remembered I had a big birthday coming up in early March.

She brought it up one Sunday morning while we sat down to eat breakfast as a family, her new requirement to pretend at being a Normal Rockwell painting.

“Lloyd, darling,” she said while smiling at me, zero trace of actual happiness in her cool eyes, “our daughter’s sixteenth birthday is next month.”

“The big sixteen.” Lloyd grinned, and I ignored his light chuckle while nibbling on my toast. “Will it be a sweet one?” His voice hinted at teasing.

Mother actually hissed an admonishment at him I’d heard dozens of times. “Of course it is,” Mother stated, her tone haughty. “Addilyn has been brought up as a proper young lady. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I answered on autopilot, wondering not for the first time if she’d sheltered me from boys because she hadn’t been.

“And since we’re having a girls-only brunch over at the club,” Mother continued, “there will be no boys around to steal her first kiss, which she’s been saving for that special someone since the first time we discussed waiting.”

Gideon slid his foot along mine, and I shot him a glare. The corner of his lips quirked, his eyes promising he’d love to be the one, but I narrowed my eyes, reminding him he’d get no such thing.

“Actually, Mother,” I turned toward her, forcing the tension from my face, “I was thinking it would be nice to have the party here. That way Lloyd and Gideon can enjoy the day too.”

Bullshit. I just needed a chance to see Devon on March twelfth, and with Lloyd and his father becoming friends, getting his entire family invited wouldn’t be an issue.

“I’m all for cake and ice cream,” Lloyd said. “And I’d hate to miss her big day.”

“And leave me with a mess to deal with afterward?” Mother shook her head, lips pursed. “I think not. The party will be at the club, and luckily, your birthday is on a Saturday this year. We couldn’t have asked for a better day of the week.”

I went back to my toast, wishing I had the nerve to remind her that she wouldn’t have a mess to clean up. That was what the household staff was for.

Mother went on naming her guest list ideas I tuned out, and Gideon gently touched my foot again with his.

Weary, I didn’t bother with a glare. The lust vanished from his eyes, and the empathy crossing the table between us filled me with a similar connection I’d felt on our parents’ wedding day.

A rare moment without fighting. An even rarer moment of letting my guard down and allowing whatever it was I felt between us to open up. Expand and leave me breathless.

He knew my pain, witnessed Mother’s wrath firsthand—and wanted to protect me from it.

Throat tight, I couldn’t swallow my chewed-up toast. I carefully reached for my water to wash it down, remembering the sting of Mother’s words after I’d ruined her wedding dress. She’d gone on and on about it after we’d both changed and ended up downstairs at the same time—not intentionally. I’d never been so berated in my life and had found myself flinching beneath her accusations that I’d wanted to steal her happiness on her day.

As if my birth alone hadn’t already robbed her of her life’s joy.

If only Lloyd had shown up to ease her anger like he’d promised to do. At least I’d managed to escape before her voice escalated to shrieking so everyone in the household would’ve heard.

I wouldn’t have been able to stomach the embarrassment.

Her new husband must have worked his magic once they had retired for the night because Mother had handed over my cell while walking out the door for their honeymoon.

“Later today, we can get online to pick out invitations,” Mother said, and I opened my mouth to begrudgingly agree, but Gideon beat me to it.

“Actually,” he said, setting his utensils upside down on his empty plate, “Addilyn and I are going on a sightseeing tour this afternoon.”

I stared at him, face and mind blank. We had no such plans—but did he lie because he felt bad for me or because he wanted to get me alone? Clearing my throat, I nodded. It didn’t matter. The thought of spending hours poring over invitations—because that’s what she’d made me do with her for my birthday party the year before—churned my stomach.

“Yeah,” I agreed, holding his gaze. “We’ll be gone most of the day.”

He grinned, dimples and all, even though his eyes narrowed a bit with a knowing look.

Guess he planned to get me alone. Great. Still, better than spending time with Mother.

“I’m glad to hear the two of you are going on an outing together. I swear you fight like cats and dogs without all the hissing and barking,” Mother stated with a fake laugh.

I wiped my mouth with my linen napkin and glanced at Lloyd. He winked at me.

“May we be excused, Mother?” I asked, not needing to force a smile that came easily from his calming presence.

“Of course, sweetheart.” She waved us away, her painted lips tilting up. “Enjoy yourselves!”

“She’s just happy to have the house to themselves,” I whispered to Gideon once the dining room door shut behind us. “What’d you really have in mind?” I asked, hands on my hips while spinning to face him.

He took his time glancing down over my blouse and dark jeans—a semi decent outfit for breakfast in Mother’s eyes. “Let’s go fly the friendly skies,” he said, returning his focus to my face.

At least he hadn’t claimed to want to steal me away, steal a kiss from me like I’d expected him to.

“And I suppose I’ll be paying since you never have a single dollar on you,” I said even though I knew from his own mouth his dad didn’t have any money.

“Dutch, sure.”

“It’s not a date,” I snipped and spun on my heel.

He followed along like he always did, probably checking out my ass. Warmth flushed through me, but I scowled the rising goosebumps away. “Father took me on a tour over the glaciers when I was four,” I told him as I stepped onto the landing. “I barely remember it, really, so I’d love to go again if you’re up for it.”

“I’m always up for it, princess.”

I rolled my eyes. “Gideon.”

“Give them a call,” Gideon said with a chuckle, heading toward his door rather than mine to box me in again. “See what they have available today.”

A shudder rippled over me at the memory of his muscles and heat pressing against my backside. “Hey.”

He pulled up short, the door handle in his grasp, one eyebrow raised in question.

So damn fine.

“Thanks.”

He nodded, knowing exactly what I spoke of, and disappeared into his bedroom.