Just for Kicks by Tracy Solheim

Twenty-Two

* * *

DEX GRABBEDHIS carryon and followed his teammates off the bus, his mother’s text still aggravating him. She’d made dinner reservations for tomorrow night and the night after, totally disregarding his request they keep things low-key since most of his time in London needed to be spent practicing with his team. Most likely, she’d seen right through his ploy, and she was aware how little a place-kicker actually trained before a game. His ma was diabolical that way.

At least she’d stopped bothering him about traveling home to St. Andrews for the bye week. He’d given her and his family another line about wanting to return home to Andi. His gut twisted just thinking about the lie.

Except it wasn’t a lie.

He did want to return home to Andi, but his fake wife was now only a part of his life as a name on a piece of paper. It’s better this way, he told himself for the millionth time in the past ten days. Too bad the rest of his body refused to get the bloody message.

Darkness had just fallen when the Growlers walked across the tarmac to the private plane the team had chartered for the trip. Dex hoped and prayed that his teammates were smart enough to sleep during the eight-and-a-half-hour flight. He wasn’t in the mood for a party in the cabin.

Things weren’t starting off well, however. A queue of players formed at the bottom of the steps where Rolando Harris was carrying on board a jumbo pack of toilet paper, of all things.

“Who brings a damn twenty-four-pack of TP on a plane?” one of his teammates shouted.

“Hey!” Harris bellowed in return. “You’ll be begging me for a roll of this stuff when we get to London. Those Limeys over there only use cheap one-ply. Try wiping yourself with that, man.”

Harris spied Dex in the line. “Oh, sorry, Fletcher. Didn’t mean to offend you with my Limey remark.”

Dex shook his head. “None taken.” He wasn’t in the mood for a history lesson today, so he didn’t bother pointing out he wasn’t British.

Palmer jogged up to cut the line. “Hey, Fletcher. I want you to meet my dad.” The punter gestured to a man further back behind them. “Dad, come on.”

He didn’t want to meet Palmer’s da. Hell, the two words he’d just spoken to Harris were the extent of the polite conversation he’d been able to muster in the past ten days. He just wanted to board the bloody plane, find a seat away from everyone so he could brood in silence.

“What an honor.” Palmer’s da pumped Dex’s hand. “Kane says you’re from St. Andrews. I’m sure he told you we are heading there after the game. I’d love it if I can pick your brain for some recommendations while we are there.”

“I haven’t been there in over a decade.” Not a lie. “Can’t help ya,” he replied, his tone chilly by Arctic standards judging by the way Palmer’s da flinched.

Bloody hell.

Palmer looked as if someone had kicked his dog.

“My family will be in London,” he heard himself saying. “I’m sure my da would be a better resource. Why don’t you two join us for dinner tomorrow night.” If nothing else, he’d just given himself a buffer from the interrogation his parents no doubt planned.

The punter’s face lit up. He slapped his da on the back. “Told ya, Dad. My best friend won’t let us down.”

Dex bit back a grimace at the best friend reference. With a beleaguered sigh, he waved the two Palmers ahead of him in line.

“Should I tell the rookie you aren’t interested in any friends?” Van Horn murmured behind him.

“You’re just jealous that the cub is taking your place.”

Van Horn snorted as they climbed the steps up to the cabin. One of the Growlers’ community relations staff was waiting at the top handing out hats for the game.

“Welcome aboard!”

A bow wave of chatter slammed into Dex. So much for a quiet flight. The party atmosphere was going to be inescapable. The front of the plane was already filled with families of players and staff, all of them seeming to talk at once.

Guilt washed over him. Andi should be here. The ache in his chest ratcheted up seeing all the other WAGs laughing and enjoying themselves. She would have loved this, too. And he would have loved watching her soak up the experience.

He really needed to stop thinking about her if he was going to survive this trip. Ducking his head so he didn’t have to make any more conversation, he made a beeline for the back of the plane. His heart stopped when a shock of pink hair caught his eye. Glancing to his left, he locked eyes with Coach’s adorable cherub. She smiled shyly at him, her pink-haired troll doll clutched to her chest. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and returned the little girl’s grin with one of his own.

The first real one he’d managed in days.

Taking another step, he nodded to the woman seated beside the child only to stop short once again. His mouth dropped to his chin when his wife arched an eyebrow at him. The little girl donned a mulish look as she clutched at Andi’s arm.

“I promised Harper I’d sit with her,” Andi said matter-of-factly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to be on the plane.

“Wise choice.” Van Horn’s voice came from behind him. Good thing, since Dex couldn’t seem to find his own. “Kessler instigated a burrito eating contest at lunch today. It’s going to be a gas chamber back there. Odds are that TP won’t make it as far as London.”

She smiled gorgeously at the quarterback. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to all the excitement then. We ladies are going to learn to braid hair.”

A roaring began in his ears, its potency matching the burning in his chest. What the bloody hell was going on? Andi couldn’t be on this plane. She could not go to London with them. His family was in London. His worst nightmare was coming true.

He tried to draw a breath or form a coherent sentence, but neither was happening at the moment. Her smile wavered, concern lacing her expression. She glanced back at Van Horn, a question in her eyes.

“You’re holding up the line, Fletcher,” Van Horn murmured. “Let’s go.”

Dex’s hand balled into a fist at the obvious silent communication between his now former best friend and his wife.

“Donnae tell me what to do,” he snarled.

“Dex.” Her voice was soft, but steely. “Go take your seat. I’ll come back and sit with you once Harper falls asleep.”

“No. We’ll talk now. On the tarmac.”

The little girl’s lip began to quiver as the chatter around them seemed to quiet. He was making a scene, but he didn’t care. If he had to tear the bloody plane apart, she was getting off. He couldn’t risk her finding out his darkest secret. He could live with her anger. But he wouldn’t survive if she learned the truth and loathed him, too.

Her gaze collided with his and the unexpected compassion he saw reflected there nearly took him out at the knees.

“Please,” she uttered quietly.

The simple word was like a knife to his heart.

“Fletcher!” Coach’s voice boomed over the plane’s intercom. “Get moving. You’re messing up our flight plan.”

Andi nodded slightly as if to encourage him to move. Van Horn let out an exasperated sigh behind him.

“Am I going to have to fucking carry you?” The quarterback’s hands hovered over Dex’s shoulders.

Dex shrugged him away. With one last look at his wife, he headed for the back of the plane, tossing his stuff into the window seat of the rear row.

“I’m not sure we want to be this close to the lavatory, but you’re driving this crazy train.” Van Horn dropped into the seat next to him.

“Fuck off,” Dex said. “Go find someone else to bother.”

Van Horn shook his head. “No can do. Somebody has got to keep you from making an . . . arse of yourself.”

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?”

His friend had the nerve to chuckle. “It means that people in love do stupid shit. And you’ve obviously already done something incredibly stupid. I’m doing you the favor of not letting you compound it.”

Love?Van Horn didn’t know how close he was to being strung up by his balls of the back of a 737. Dex was not in love with Andi.

Except he was.

The uncomfortable realization settled heavily over him like a weighted blanket. Truth be told, he’d been besotted since their first meeting in Kurt’s office when she hadn’t sucked up to him for his fame or fortune. Even more so when she agreed to marry him because she believed it was the right thing to do. He’d fallen a little more in love with her each day he’d been lucky enough to be around her. So much so that pushing her away was leaving a gaping hole in his chest.

Beside him, Van Horn waggled his eyebrows. With a smug grin, he gestured to Dex’s seatbelt. “Buckle up, buttercup. There’s nothing you can do about it now.”

And that’s the part that scared the living shit out of him. In just over eight hours, Andi would meet his family and know the truth about him. And then she’d want nothing to do with him. The cabin lights dimmed. Minutes later they were screaming down the runway. He closed his eyes and tried to wrestle his racing heart into submission.

* * *

ANDI WASSURPRISED Dex hadn’t sought her out the moment the captain shut off the seatbelt sign. Either Trey had tied him to his seat or he’d seen the wisdom of not making a scene in front of his teammates. After all, his visa still wasn’t guaranteed. And now that she knew the reason behind his dogged determination not to return home, she understood why his immigration situation was so important to him. But that still didn’t explain why he had to wall himself off from everyone. From his family. From her. Or why he was so emphatic that she and his family should never meet.

She glanced down at the sleeping child on her lap. As gently as she could, she placed a pillow under Harper’s head and left her in the seat she’d just vacated. Merrit mouthed thank you to Andi as she passed. Max was sprawled out across the other woman’s chest, little bubbles forming between his lips as he slept.

Her heart squeezed at the sight. She wanted children. Dex’s children. But if she couldn’t unlock whatever was holding him back, they didn’t have a chance.

Don’t give up on him.

Dex’s sister echoed Van Horn’s challenge when Andi spoke with her two days earlier. She drew strength in the knowledge that his family and friends cared for him enough to want him to be happy. She just hoped she could make him see she was the right woman to do that. Sighing with determination, she headed for the back of the plane.

She only made it halfway back before she was practically tackled in the dark aisleway. Breathing in the familiar scent of her husband, she forced herself to relax against his urgent hold. Behind them, Van Horn met her eyes with his own and shrugged as if to say “I tried.” She gave him a reassuring smile and he disappeared back to his seat.

“You’re coming with me,” Dex commanded, half dragging, half carrying her to the back of the plane.

“I hope you’re not considering tossing me out the emergency exit,” she joked in an effort to lighten his mood.

He didn’t bother responding. Kane Palmer was just making his way toward the lavatory when Dex nearly bowled him over, shoving her in the tiny compartment first. She could hear Kane chuckle, murmuring something about the mile-high club when Dex joined her, closing the door in the punter’s face. The light came on when he slid the lock home. With their bodies pressed up against one another, she could feel his ragged breathing. But it was the desperation etched on his face that had her own breath catching.

“Oh, Dex.” She drew her arms up between them and looped them around his neck. “It’s okay.”

The plane dipped and his grip on her waist tightened.

“It’s okay,” she repeated as he buried his face in her neck. “I know about Niall.”

His body sagged against her. She dragged her fingers through the curls at the back of his neck trying to sooth him.

“I know how hard it is to lose people,” she continued. “He was your best friend. Practically your brother. I can’t imagine the pain you still carry around at losing him. But it was an accident, Dex. At some point you’re going to have to go home to face the memories.”

He stiffened beneath her touch. She sucked in a breath. Had she ruined her chance already by saying the wrong thing? He tried to pull away, but there was nowhere to go in the close confines of the small bathroom. He restlessly dragged his fingers through his hair.

“Naill is dead because I killed him.”

The harshly uttered statement hung in the air between them.

“No.” Bewildered, she tried to recall the story his sister told her. “He died in a car accident. Alone.” She swallowed, worried about speaking ill of the dead and offending Dex. “He was driving drunk.”

Dex gripped her arms and shook her. “Aye. Because I let him down. I let everyone down.”

He wasn’t making sense. Her confusion must have been apparent because he continued.

“I knew he was drinking heavily, but I left him at the pub anyway.” A shamed expression lined his face. “I left with a woman. I don’t even know the bloody chit’s name.”

A bubble of jealousy formed in her chest.

“If I had stayed . . .” He shook his head in disgust.

“If you had stayed, there is no reason to believe he wouldn’t have been behind the wheel anyway and you both would be dead.” Her heart stuttered at the thought.

“But I didn’t stay! You ken? I followed my bloody dick and Niall paid the price. Because. Of. Me!”

Understanding suddenly dawned. “This is why you keep yourself so walled off from everyone. Why you don’t go home. Dex, you’re punishing yourself for something that’s not your fault. You’re punishing your family. And you’re punishing me.” Aggravation at him threatened to choke her. “You won’t accept my love because of some stupid misguided guilt.” She punctuated the last words with her fists pounding on his chest.

He grabbed her wrists. “How can you claim to love me after what I’ve just told you?”

She groaned in frustration. “How can someone so smart be so stupid? I love you, Declan Fletcher and that’s not going to change. Believe me, I’ve spent the last week trying.” She pressed her lips against his jaw. “I’ve loved you since our first plane ride together when you put aside your own discomfort to make sure I was okay. You’ve been my White Knight ever since.”

His arms wrapped around her. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.

A loud banging startled them both.

“Hey, can you two newlyweds knock it off in there. We’ve got a crisis situation out here.”

He sighed heavily before reaching behind him and unlocking the door. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and led her past the row of his teammates casting them knowing looks. Grabbing the blanket off Van Horn’s lap, he gestured for the quarterback to give up his seat. Trey winked at her before traipsing up the aisle. Dex pulled her into the seat beside him and tented the blanket over their heads. His lips found hers in the dark, and pure unadulterated joy swept through Andi at his touch. After all these years, she had found her home.

* * *

“I’VE MISSED YA,lass. More than I thought possible.”

Dex felt her smile against his neck. “Mmm. You won’t have to suffer without me again, because you’re stuck with me now.”

He swore his chest swelled at her words.

“I can’t wait to meet your family. To see your home.”

Just like that, his happiness dissipated.

“I can’t take you home, lass.”

She tensed in his arms. “Not this again. There’s no reason you can’t go home to Scotland. No one blames you for Niall’s death.”

“Colleen does.”

“Colleen? Niall’s wife?”

“Aye.”

She shifted so she was at his side. “Tell me why you think that.”

He leaned his head on her shoulder. Despite the darkness beneath the blanket, it was difficult telling this tale face-to-face. Memories he’d relived in his dreams for so many years came to him unbidden. Colleen, inconsolable after Niall’s funeral.

You promised me you wouldn’t let him get drunk,she had accused. You know his dark moods as well as anyone.

“Niall was destined for greatness. He was so talented with the sticks on the course. It was fun to watch him outsmart the game.” He drew in breath. “But the better he got at his golf game, the more unhappy he became. It was almost as if he left all his joy out on the green.”

Andi found his hand and laced her fingers through his. She gave his fingers a squeeze in encouragement.

“That night he was especially glum. It’s was Colleen’s idea for me to take him out for a pint.”

She made a little sound of disapproval. He brought their joined hands up and brushed his lips against hers.

“Don’t go getting your knickers in a wad. Colleen was at home with a baby. She couldn’t handle two at once. And Niall and I were one in the same. We understood each other.”

He felt her nod.

“But with me at university and him on the European tour, we understood each other less and less, it seemed. I wasn’t as tolerant of Niall’s blues as I should have been that night. He must have sensed it because he encouraged me to go off with the redhead. He said one of us should have some fun.” His laugh was humorless. “He promised he was headed home after he finished his ale.”

“Except he didn’t.”

“Nah. The bloody bartender let him drink five more pints.”

“I’m still not seeing a reason for Colleen to blame you,” Andi insisted.

Niall was my soulmate. And now he’s gone. How am I supposed to live without him? How am I supposed to look at you again? Whenever I do, I see him. I see you letting us both down.

“I was responsible for him that night.” He swallowed roughly. “It was easier to blame me than Niall.”

“But that’s not fair!”

“With Niall gone, his endorsements and tour money were gone, too. Colleen had an infant to care for. She needed her family and the people she’d known all her life to care for her. She couldn’t go off and start a new life away from the memories. But I could.”

“Again. Not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair. If it was, Niall would still be here. With Colleen and their son.”

She heaved a frustrated sigh. He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her back onto his lap and kissed her deeply. She melted against him and soon he was close to losing his mind and taking her on a crowded airplane.

He tore his mouth away. “What am I to do with you, lass?”

“Don’t shut me out,” she whispered against his mouth. “Love me.”

“Aye,” he replied, surprising himself with the intensity of his response. “Your wish is my command, my queen.”