Fragile by A.K. Evans

Twelve

Demi

“Hey, Mama, how’s it going?”

I walked into the kitchen of my mother’s house after having just let myself in the front door. She’d been expecting me, so it wasn’t like my visit was unannounced. Then again, that could have been the case, and it would not have mattered. My mom loved when I came by for a visit. I enjoyed my time with her, too.

The two of us had come a long way since that horrible, horrible day all those years ago. No matter how much I had wanted to forget what I saw—and trust me, I wanted to forget it—I hadn’t been able to.

In fact, even until this very day, every time I saw my mom, I couldn’t stop myself from remembering that night and the days that followed.

Initially, I’d been so shocked by it. Maybe I shouldn’t have been. I mean, my parents fought so much. But the reality was that I couldn’t think of any kid or teenager who’d want to learn that one of their parents was being unfaithful. Add to that the fact that I’d managed to not only learn that it was happening but also that I witnessed my father in the act, and I was beyond disgusted.

After vomiting on the floor right at the entrance to his room and locking myself in the bathroom until the next morning, I wrestled with what to do. Initially, I blamed my inaction on being sick, but I knew that wasn’t it.

I just didn’t want to break my mother’s heart.

But once I’d turned the corner on the stomach bug I’d gotten, I took stock of the situation and realized I didn’t want my mom to look like a fool.

Who knew how long my father had been cheating on her?

So, I told her the truth. My parents ended up splitting up. I always found it strange that there wasn’t more of an argument between them once I’d shared the news. I didn’t understand it. Perhaps my mom realized deep down that it wasn’t worth her time to fight with someone who had already checked out.

My father was probably grateful that she didn’t seem to put up a fight. He’d made his choice, and we weren’t part of it.

After their separation, I chose to live with my mother. Unsurprisingly, my father didn’t put up a fight. Of course, that only made things easier for him. He could fuck his mistress without any worry of his daughter walking in on him.

Maybe it was because I knew it was going to hurt for a bit for the both of us, but we’d have each other. And we did for a very long time.

To this very day, we still do, even though our visits with one another are few and far between. Once I had graduated from school, gotten a job, and had gotten out on my own, my mom ended up moving about an hour away from where I was.

I didn’t blame her. It was probably too painful to stay in the place where she’d gotten her heart broken. It was a wonder I could stay because I felt that heartbreak right alongside her.

But things were great now.

She was happy, and I was happy for her. After everything she’d endured, my mom had managed to get herself to a place where she started to put herself out there again and start dating. She never settled down with anyone again, but she found companionship when she needed it.

I guess we were the same when it came to that. Neither of us was prepared to suffer through that kind of heartbreak.

And she had a couple of great girlfriends who lived close who she often spent some of her free time with.

Every so often, I came to visit, and my mom soaked up that time with me, making the most of it.

Today was one of those days.

As I sat down at the island in her kitchen, my mom finished preparing lunch. That was one thing I’d learned about mothers. It didn’t matter how old their children got, it seemed a mother’s biggest worry was whether or not her child had enough food to eat.

I always came with an empty stomach because I knew she’d have that need to fill me up.

“I’m doing great, Demi,” she answered. “I spoke with Pat earlier in the week, and she said things were going well for you at Granite.”

Pat was my aunt. She was my mother’s sister and Cal’s mom. They spoke frequently, so I wasn’t surprised to hear that the news of my employment had traveled so quickly.

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “I am so happy to be away from the hotel. It’s such a different vibe for me now, which has been great for my mood.”

Nodding her head, she replied, “I’d been noticing that about you the last couple of times you visited. You always seemed like you had something weighing heavily on your mind. I’m glad that you’re happier now.”

“I like it,” I told her. “The best part is that I’ve already talked to Cal about transitioning myself away from being in the actual bar so that I can just start working from home unless there’s an event happening. Obviously, I’ll be there to help prepare for those, but there isn’t anything I’m doing at the bar that I can’t do at home.”

My mother smiled at me. “That sounds incredible. All that matters is that you’re happy doing what you’re doing.”

I shrugged. I couldn’t say that I grew up thinking that this was going to be my job, but I’d always loved music, so this was a much better fit for me than my previous job.

“Yeah, and it’s been crazy, too, because My Violent Heart did an impromptu performance just over two weeks ago,” I explained. “Ever since, there has been a lot of interest from other bands. Cal does really well on nights when he’s got a live band playing, so the more of them we can get, the better.”

“Pat mentioned that a big band played there,” Mom returned, passing a plate in my direction. “Were you there for that?”

“Thanks,” I replied, pulling the plate closer to me. “And yes, I was there.”

I wanted to tell her that the reason they played there was because the lead singer had negotiated it after he showed up there looking for me, but I didn’t think that was the way to bring up the subject of Cash.

“That must have been so exciting to see them perform live,” she started. “I don’t listen to their music, but I have heard the name. They’re a big deal, aren’t they?”

Yep. They were.

And she was going to go crazy when she learned that I was on a first-name basis with Cash.

“They are,” I confirmed. “They’re actually in the middle of a tour right now, but they’re coming back to Finch to play at Granite once their tour is over.”

“Wow. I don’t think Pat knew that. She was still gushing over how great it was going for Granite, in general, and of course, the fact that Cal is now officially with Sam.”

I let out a laugh.

My mom met Sam a couple years ago. From the very beginning, she said that she thought Cal and Sam would make a great couple. Apparently, Aunt Pat felt the same.

We all did.

Because the love they had for one another was unlike anything I’d ever seen in my life. That kind of love was rare, and I couldn’t have been happier that the two of them found it.

“Well, Sam’s T-shirt business is doing incredibly well right now, too,” I shared. “Cal had her bring a bunch of shirts to the bar that night, and then two members of My Violent Heart ended up wearing them on stage. One week later, things exploded for her. That’s another reason I’d like to start working from home. What I’m doing for Cal doesn’t require eight hours of work, five days a week. I can help Sam with getting some of her administrative stuff handled.”

I lifted my sandwich to my mouth and took a bite as my mom responded, “That’s incredible. Who would have thought?”

“I know,” I replied through a mouthful of food.

As we ate our sandwiches and finished up our lunch, my mom filled me in on everything that had been going on in her life since the last time we had the chance to sit down and talk like this.

Not much had changed in her world. She still went to work, did her thing, and kept herself busy. Earlier this year, she’d taken up gardening and was enjoying learning all the ins and outs of her new hobby. It was really great to see her face light up when she talked about all the things that she’d grown in the last few months.

After we finished our food and she’d shared all that was going on in her life, my mom asked, “So, what else is going on with you besides work?”

This was the golden opportunity. When I’d reached out to my mom and told her I wanted to come visit her today, I did it not only because I missed her but also because I wanted to ask her something. I just hoped what I wanted to discuss wasn’t going to upset her.

“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked.

“Anything. What’s going on?” she responded.

I hesitated briefly, wondering if this was smart. The last thing I wanted to do was bring up painful memories for her, but I needed her advice. I wanted her perspective. I knew what she went through following my father’s cheating because I watched as she worked through that heartbreak. But now that I had this whole situation with Cash, I felt compelled to get her opinion.

“Was it worth it?” I finally said.

A crease formed between her brows. “Was what worth it?”

“Risking your heart and losing it all to my father,” I clarified.

Her head tipped to the side as her features softened. “Oh, Demi, where is this coming from?” she asked, her voice gentle.

“I just want to know,” I rasped.

“I have you,” she declared.

“Okay?” I responded, curiosity in my tone. That didn’t explain anything.

Luckily, she realized I was confused and explained, “I’d go through the pain of your father’s infidelity a million times if it meant that I was going to have you in the end.”

Well, there it was.

She’d risk her heart like that to have me.

“Demi?” she called.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on?” she pressed.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as I blew it out. When I opened my eyes, I swallowed hard and focused my attention on her. Then I shared, “There’s a guy that I think I like, but he terrifies me.”

“How so?”

Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t trust any of them. Men, that is. You know that. If Dad couldn’t be faithful, why would anyone else?”

My mom reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand. Squeezing it, she rasped, “Demi, I’m so sorry about what happened. I don’t think I ever told you that. You never deserved to go through that, and you definitely didn’t need to walk in on it.”

I let out a laugh. “I don’t think you’re the one that needs to apologize for it,” I noted.

“But I’m your mother,” she said. “And it was my job to protect you from that. I can’t go back and change it, and I wish I could. Not for myself, though. I’d want to fix it for you. Because I’ve seen what it did to you. The fact that you’ve gone all these years and never had a serious boyfriend and that you’re now asking me if taking that risk was worth it.”

“I don’t want to get hurt,” I admitted, my throat tight.

Nodding her understanding, she replied, “I know. Nobody does. But falling in love is beautiful.”

I was so far away from falling in love. The thought terrified me.

“It’s scary.”

“Of course, it is. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t experience it. If there is one thing I want for you in this life, Demi, it’s for you to experience romantic love,” she said. “I know what happened when you were just a teenager changed the way you look at love, but I promise you it can be worth it. Even after all that happened, I still don’t regret falling in love with your father.”

I let out a huge sigh. Over the years, I’d purposely avoided talking to my mom a whole lot about what happened. While it was always a very horrible memory for me to recall, I assumed it was painful for her.

I’m sure it was.

But to know now that she didn’t regret all that she’d had with him made me feel a little bit better. The bottom line was that she was here now, and she was doing well. So while she had gone through something horrible, she still came out the other side with a smile on her face.

Following a long stretch of silence, my mom urged, “Tell me about this guy.”

Instantly, I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. “You’re never going to believe this,” I told her.

Her brows shot up, silently questioning me.

I ignored that and shared, “He’s probably the worst possible choice I could make for myself considering my current stance on romantic relationships.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s Cash Morris, the lead singer of My Violent Heart,” I told her.

My mom’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. “Are you serious?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“What? How?”

Shaking my head slowly because I understood her disbelief, I said, “I’ve turned him down so many times, but he’s a persistent man.”

She grinned at me. “I love that.”

“I was kind of hoping you’d tell me that I need to be careful and really reconsider even thinking about proceeding with him,” I pleaded.

“No way,” she declared as she sat up taller with a smile on her face. “No way am I going to tell you that this isn’t a good idea because I’d be lying. Why would you want me to do that?”

“Because not only would this be brand-new territory for me, but it’s also brand-new territory with a man like him,” I answered. “I feel like this could have a very bad outcome.”

My worries didn’t seem to affect my mother’s mood in the slightest. In fact, this whole conversation had taken a turn I hadn’t expected.

“So, are you officially dating him?” she pressed.

“No. I just… well, we’ve spoken on the phone a few times over the last week or so,” I started. “Initially, I communicated with him via email because I had refused to give him my number. But I eventually realized how tedious that was going to be, so I called him from the bar.”

“You mean, he still doesn’t have your number?”

I shook my head.

“Why not?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I answered honestly, “I’m just being stubborn at this point.”

And I knew that I was.

I didn’t know why. I guess I was trying to hold on to some sliver of control because I felt like I didn’t have any when Cash was around.

But the truth was that now that I’d talked to him on the phone several times over the last week, the more I felt like I wanted to give him my number.

Part of me wanted to take a chance and give myself the opportunity to see what he’d do with it. Would he put in the effort to call? Would he reach out at least as often as he sent me emails?

I never thought in a million years that I’d ever get to a place where I wanted to have a man woo me, but here I was, wanting that from Cash.

“Take a chance, Demi,” my mom urged. “It could be the best decision of your life.”

“It could also be the worst,” I countered.

She shook her head. “It won’t ever be that,” she insisted. “Maybe it won’t work out, but I promise that if nothing else, you will learn something from it. Truthfully, if this guy has any brains in his head, he won’t do a damn thing to screw it up because you are the best he’ll ever get.”

“He’s a rock star, Mom,” I reminded her. “He could have just about anyone he wants.”

“Yep. And you’re the best he could ever hope to get,” she maintained.

I rolled my eyes at her, but I did it with a smile on my face.

Before I could say anything in response to that, my mom demanded, “Okay, show me some pictures of this guy. I don’t listen to their music, so I don’t think I know what he looks like.”

And just like that, the conversation that I thought might end up with at least one, if not both, of us, in tears was anything but.

We laughed.

We joked.

We had the best time.

Hours later, when I got in the car to head back home, I pulled out my phone and tapped out a text.

Me: I hope your show goes well tonight. -Demi

There.

I did it.

Cash had my number. There was no turning back now.

Surprisingly, as I drove home with a smile on my face, I realized I didn’t want to anyway.