Fragile by A.K. Evans
Sixteen
Cash
If I thought everything I went through in my life up to this point was the result of being very lucky, I had no words for what I’d just experienced.
Could this actually be described as luck?
Maybe everything before now was simply the result of hard work and dedication. No. No, I knew it was more than that. There was good fortune there. I was a talented singer, born that way. That had to be considered lucky.
And if that was the case, I just couldn’t come up with the right word to express what I just had with Demi.
Unforgettable. That’s for sure.
But it was so much more.
It was life changing, earth shattering, and all-consuming.
I knew that I was already so incredibly fortunate to be living the life that I was living, doing something I loved with people who were like family to me.
Why I got that and I got Demi, I’d never begin to comprehend. It seemed… unfair.
Of course, I wasn’t complaining. I’d take all the good that this life had in store for me and never do anything to jeopardize it. It all meant too much, and I realized that not everybody had the opportunities that I did.
I wouldn’t squander this life.
As I walked from the master bathroom back to the bed and saw Demi on her side looking at me, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
She was perfect for me. There wasn’t a single thing about her that I didn’t like, not even her sassy attitude the very first day I met her.
In fact, it was her mouth that I was probably most attracted to.
Her mouth was paradise.
Whether I was kissing her, whether she was kissing my body, whether she was talking, or whether she had my cock in it, I loved everything about her mouth.
Climbing into the bed, I was still having a tough time wrapping my head around the fact that she was here.
Demi was here.
In my bed.
I had so much to talk to her about, so many things I wanted to discuss, and it didn’t matter that it was the early hours of the morning and that I still hadn’t slept.
Rolling to my side, my front to hers, I dove right in.
“How are you here?” I asked.
“I drove the rental car from the venue to your house,” she answered.
Okay. So, she was taking this literally.
I let out a laugh and replied, “There are a lot of questions that follow that. First, let me say that I’m not in any way complaining, but how did you find out where I lived?”
“Holland.”
Suddenly, it all made sense.
Holland knew what Demi had planned, which was why she insisted I not go out to celebrate tonight. I’d always looked at Holland as the sister I never had, and in that moment, I couldn’t have been more grateful for her. I was definitely going to have to do something to show her my appreciation.
It dawned on me that Demi said she came from the venue.
“Wait. You were there?” I asked. “You watched the show tonight?”
“Yeah,” she answered softly. “You’re incredible.”
“It was you,” I blurted.
“What?” she asked.
I couldn’t believe it. This had to be the craziest thing I’d ever experienced. I was sure if I told anyone, probably even Demi, they would think I’d lost my mind. But I knew it was the truth.
“The minute I stepped out on the stage tonight, something felt different,” I confessed. “Everyone knew it, and we even talked about it after the concert. I tried to brush it off as us being home and playing at a place that was so familiar to us, but in the back of my mind, I thought it was because I’d been feeling so excited about having a video chat with you tonight. Now, I realize it wasn’t any of that.”
Confusion washed over her. “What was it?” she wondered.
“You,” I told her. “I know that probably sounds crazy, but I’m convinced that’s what it was.”
Demi shifted her body closer to mine and said, “I don’t think it’s crazy at all.”
Feeling her close to me like that and hearing her response, I had to know more.
“How did this happen? What made you decide to come here?” I questioned her.
Something moved through her expression, and I could tell she was struggling with how to answer me. I didn’t want to put her in a tough or uncomfortable spot, no matter how much I wanted to understand what changed. If she needed more time, I could give her that.
Just as I was about to tell her she didn’t have to answer just yet, Demi replied, “I denied how I felt for too long, and I thought it was time to be honest with myself.”
I didn’t know what I thought her answer was going to be, but it definitely wasn’t that. “How do you feel?” I asked.
Demi’s hand came up and cupped the side of my face, right at my jaw. Her thumb stroked along my bottom lip as her eyes followed the movement. I didn’t dare move because I loved what she was doing. Feeling her hands on me was something I enjoyed a lot more than I ever thought I would. And I had already thought I was going to enjoy it tremendously.
After a long pause, she shared, “That I’m just as attracted to you as you are to me, and that your persistence in trying to connect with me made me feel good. I liked that you didn’t give up no matter how many times I insisted there would never be anything between us. But most of all, it’s what I felt after I started to cave just a little and started to get to know you.”
“And what was that?” I pressed, feeling like I was hanging on to every word she said.
“Whenever I wasn’t talking to you, I missed you,” Demi admitted. “I found myself wanting more time to talk with you and started counting down the days until you’d be back in Finch.”
Nope.
Not in a million years did I expect that was going to be her answer.
For so long, she’d fought me on this. I was on the verge of losing my mind thinking about how much I wanted someone who clearly did not want me.
Actually, that wasn’t entirely true.
I could see it, even if just a little bit. I knew there was a connection there. She felt the chemistry between us.
But for whatever reason, she denied it.
My persistence paid off. There had been a few times when I started to worry that I’d be labeled a stalker or something, but that hadn’t even come close to being what Demi thought was happening.
I was so caught up in my thoughts about all of it, Demi continued, “I got tired of pretending.”
“Pretending?” I repeated.
She nodded as her hand that had been at the side of my face moved down along my throat to my chest and over my pecs. Her touch was as soft as a feather. “That I didn’t want you.”
I gave her hip a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad you changed your mind,” I said.
Her features softened. “Me too.”
“We have to talk about something, though,” I told her.
Concern and worry immediately marred her features. I hated seeing her like that, but I really wanted to know what I was dealing with. There wasn’t a whole lot that was said, but there had been enough for me to know there was something here I needed to help her work through.
“What is it?” she worried.
“Can you tell me why you begged me not to break your heart?” I began. “I get the obvious reason… nobody wants to have their heart broken. But that’s a given, and I have a feeling that’s not what’s going on with you.”
Demi didn’t hesitate to respond. “You were my first,” she declared.
My body instantly froze.
What?
She couldn’t possibly mean that. “Demi, baby, are you telling me you were a virgin?” I gasped.
I didn’t necessarily have a problem with her being a virgin, but I’d just taken her, and I wasn’t exactly gentle. I mean, I wasn’t rough to the point that I’d hurt her, but if this had been her first time, I couldn’t understand how she wasn’t in any pain.
Not only that, but Demi would have been the world’s first virgin who knew exactly what she was doing.
There was no way that was possible.
Laughter escaped her. “No. No, it’s not that,” she assured me. When some of the tension left my body, she continued, “You were my first date. And I know it probably wasn’t really a date per se, but going out to breakfast with you that morning before you left New Hampshire was new territory for me.”
Now I was the one who was confused. “In what way?”
Her fingers continued to move over the skin of my chest. I couldn’t work out whether she was aware of what she was doing or if it was something she was doing absentmindedly. Either way, it didn’t matter. It felt good to me, and she seemed to need to do it.
“I haven’t ever gone on an official date with anyone before,” she shared. “I’m… I know that must sound horrible. I’ve never been on a date, and yet, I’m not a virgin.”
“Demi, look at me,” I demanded.
Her fingers stopped moving, though they remained on my chest, and she directed her gaze to my face.
Once I had her attention, I said, “You are not going to make yourself feel bad about anything. I am not a saint, and I’m not sitting here judging you at all.”
“I… I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to imply that you were being judgmental,” she stammered. “I just… I know it’s not a good look.”
“I get the distinct feeling that you did what you had to do to take care of natural human needs and desires,” I started. “I also get the feeling that you had your reasons for doing that. There’s nothing wrong with it. Okay?”
She nodded, but I wasn’t sure she believed what I just said to her.
Deciding it was best to let it go and get back to the conversation, I asked, “So, why was breakfast with me your first date?”
“Because I didn’t want to go on dates with anyone,” Demi answered.
“So, am I just that charming and irresistible?” I teased.
Demi started laughing, and I let out a sigh of relief. I didn’t want her holding on to any tension about whatever choices she made in her life. It was the two of us now, and I was grateful for that.
When she finally settled down from the laughter, she replied, “It was partly that and the fact that you didn’t just walk away when I turned you down. You put in effort, so that was a big deal.”
“Nobody ever put in any effort with you?” I asked, thinking this wasn’t adding up.
“Not the person who should have,” she countered.
Her cousin Cal told me she was fragile. I had a feeling whatever she was about to share was going to explain why that was the case.
“I feel like I’m missing something here,” I said.
There was another pause, and this one was rather lengthy. Demi got back to trailing her fingers over my skin, and I waited for her to offer some kind of clarification.
Eventually, she shared, “I was just a freshman in high school when I woke up sick in the middle of the night. Actually, it wasn’t really the middle of the night. I hadn’t been feeling well earlier that evening, so I went to bed early. I thought my stomach was bothering me because my parents had been fighting with each other that evening before my mom went to work. But when I woke up not even two hours later, I realized I was actually sick, so I ran to the bathroom and vomited.”
Demi paused a moment, and I could see she was really struggling with something.
Eventually, she went on, “My mom was at work that night, so I went to my dad to tell him that I was sick. When I opened the door to his room and turned on his light, I found him standing beside the bed fucking a woman who wasn’t my mother. To make matters even worse, he turned toward me and was completely naked.”
Fuck.
It all made sense now.
Demi didn’t trust men because her own father hadn’t been faithful to her mother. And to think she walked in and saw it happening.
“Demi, I’m so sorry,” I apologized.
“Me too,” she murmured. “I lived the aftermath of that. The betrayal. The disappointment. The pain for both my mom and me. The fact that he didn’t even try to fix it, not even for me. He was just fine with getting the divorce. My mom deserved better, so I wouldn’t have wanted her to stay, but his indifference really just hit me hard. He never even apologized. And I guess it’s possible he was simply embarrassed because of how awkward it was for me, but it still hurt.”
I couldn’t imagine. I mean, I knew people got divorced all the time, and it was never pleasant, but this was just horrible.
“I wish I knew what to say to make it better,” I told her.
“You could tell me that this wasn’t just a game for you,” she responded.
Her?
She thought I was putting in all this effort with her for the fun of it?
“Demi, do you even realize how incredible you are?” I asked. “This was not a game for me. At least, not in the way that you’re thinking. Was this challenging for me? Yes. Did I enjoy the banter between us and the scouring looks you gave me? Absolutely. But I didn’t do everything I did just so I could get you in my bed for a night. Not for nothing, but if I just wanted to fuck someone, I could have easily made that happen. I wanted you.”
“You did,” she said. “Do you still feel that way?”
She couldn’t be serious.
“Yes,” I deadpanned.
When Demi didn’t respond, I decided we needed to have another discussion.
“Look, I know this is really early here, but I think it’s important we discuss what just happened here tonight and what that means for us moving forward,” I started. “I like you, and I want to explore what this is between us. Do you want the same thing?”
She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. When she opened them again and looked at me, she said, “I really want to try, but I’m terrified. And I think you need to know what you’re getting into with me. I might seem tough on the surface, Cash, but inside, I’m so insecure. I have a terrible time trusting men.”
“I understand that, but please believe me when I say that you don’t need to be insecure when it comes to me,” I pleaded.
I could hear the sarcastic undertone to her laugh as she declared, “You being you makes me feel even more worried than I would if you were someone else.”
I didn’t quite know how to take that. “Who do you want me to be?”
“That’s not what I meant,” she insisted. “I just mean that you being this massive rock star makes me more terrified about what I’m getting myself into with you. Jealousy ran through me when I saw the pictures of you without your shirt on at your concerts. All those women had their eyes on you, and I know they were thinking the exact same thing I was.”
I smiled and asked, “What were you thinking?”
“That I wanted to be right where I am now. That I wanted what just happened between us to happen… repeatedly.”
“Repeatedly?” I said.
“Yes.”
I pushed a lock of her hair back from the side of her face and promised, “I’ll be sure to make that happen right away. But first, I want you to know that I understand where you’re coming from, and I want to do everything I can to make you feel comfortable and secure.”
“It might take me a minute to feel that way,” she stated.
“I expected that much, and I promise to be patient with you,” I told her. “The last thing I want is for you to feel like you’ve come into this risking it all and feeling like it wasn’t worth it. I want it to be worth it for you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And just for the record, I want you to know that nothing ever happened with those girls who walked up to the table when we were out at breakfast. The whole band was there, and it’s not uncommon to have groupies hanging around. I promise you, I did nothing with any of them.”
“I appreciate you clarifying that, even if I wasn’t in a position where it should have mattered,” Demi said.
For a few minutes, we stayed there like that, Demi continuing to run her fingers over the skin on my chest. I was comfortable in the silence with her, just happy being beside her.
Eventually, she called, “Cash?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you kiss me?” she asked. “I hesitate to tell you this since I’m sure you already know it, but your mouth is unbelievable.”
I burst out laughing and buried my face in her neck as I rolled her to her back. If Demi was frustrated by my reaction, I didn’t know it because all I could pay attention to was the fact that her naked body was beneath mine and she had wrapped her legs around my waist.
It wasn’t until she spoke that I had to redirect my focus.
“What’s so funny about that?”
I lifted my face from her neck, stared at her, and said, “I thought the very same thing about your mouth from the first day I saw you. And I’ve got a boatload of reasons why I like it so much.”
Demi cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”
I nodded.
“I think you should kiss me now, Cash,” she urged.
I’d waited weeks for this. I was not going to delay.
At her request, I lowered my mouth and touched my lips to hers. That was just the beginning of a very long and satisfying round two. Suffice it to say, we didn’t get to sleep until just before the sun came up.