Outrageously in Love by Jen Morris

18

I’m still in my bathrobe, nursing a steaming cup of coffee, when there’s a knock at the front door. After my time in the shower last night I slept amazingly well, and I’m feeling more relaxed about things with Luke. I think it was just built-up tension that needed a release. No wonder I was wound so tightly. No wonder I’m always wound so tightly.

I stand from the table and smooth my hair, wishing I’d had the forethought to get dressed when I woke up this morning. What if it’s Luke at the door? He isn’t supposed to be here for another hour, but—

The knock comes again, louder, and I hurry across the room. This might be for the best, anyway. A fluffy dressing gown, no makeup, and bed hair is sure to smother any flames of attraction between us.

But when I swing the door open, I come face to face with a woman and boy. The woman is stunning and my first thought is that she must be a model or actress or something.

Her perfectly sculpted brows knit together when she sees me. “Who are you?”

“I’m Harriet.” I resist the urge to add, You’re knocking on our door, lady. Who the hell are you?

“Who?” she asks, making no attempt to mask her irritation.

“Alex’s sister.”

“Oh. Right.” She pushes past me into the apartment, dragging the boy in behind her.

“Excuse me—” I begin, but she whips around.

“Is Mike not up yet? I need him to take Henry for a few hours.”

Ah. Henry.

I give him a friendly smile and embarrassment paints his cheeks.

“You must be Mel,” I say, extending a hand.

She looks down at it, apparently trying to decide if I’m going to infect her with something. Then she gives it a limp shake, wincing with distaste as she does so.

Bloody hell. Alex wasn’t kidding about her.

“Yes, yes.” She flaps a hand. “Can I leave Henry with you? I need to go.”

I glance at Henry, alarmed. What would Alex want me to do? I mean, he lives here, so I don’t see why she can’t leave him with me. And Alex and Michael will be up soon.

“Er, sure. If you don’t mind, Henry?”

He shrugs, heading into the kitchen and grabbing himself a bowl of cereal.

“Great. I’ll be back to get him by four,” Mel says as she breezes past me.

“But I thought you said only a few hours? I don’t know if—”

“Thanks, bye!” The door swings shut behind her with a thud.

I exhale, wandering back into the kitchen. Henry is seated at the table, tucking into a bowl of Cheerios. His dark hair slants across his forehead, his eyes focused on his bowl. I return to my seat and pick up my coffee, taking a long gulp.

So that’s Mel. She’s… interesting.

Oh, who am I kidding? She’s terrifying. She’s statuesque and stunningly gorgeous, with glorious long dark hair and legs up to her armpits. Not only is she beautiful, she certainly seems confident—a little demanding, if not forceful.

Or just plain rude.

Poor Alex. It must be awful having her as the ex.

As if reading my mind, Henry glances up with a grimace. “Sorry about my mom.”

I bite my tongue and sip my coffee. “She seems… nice.”

He snorts, staring into his cereal. “You’re the first person to ever say that,” he mutters. Then he looks up at me again. “I’m so glad Dad met Alex. She’s really cool.”

This makes me smile. See? I knew Alex had nothing to worry about with Henry.

“So I guess you’re going to be my aunt,” he continues.

“Huh.” I hadn’t given it much thought, but he’s right.

Apprehension threads through me. Am I ready to be an aunt? What does an aunt do? Am I supposed to be a fun aunt, sneaking him booze and teaching him about girls? If that’s the case he’s going to be seriously disappointed—and not because I don’t live here.

I chuckle to myself as I realize that this is exactly what Alex is going through right now, except on a much larger scale. She’s going to be a mother—a step-mother, but still. It sounds like she’s going to need to play a pretty big role in his life.

I hear a door open and a few moments later Alex appears in the kitchen, yawning. “Henry?” she asks, blinking in the morning light.

“Hey, Alex. Mom just dropped me off. I hope that’s okay?”

Alex’s face creases with stress. “Well, actually…”

Henry sighs, his gaze falling back to his bowl, and Alex stops herself. She wanders over, leaning down to put an arm around his shoulders and give him a squeeze.

“That’s totally fine, bud. This is your home. You know you’re always welcome here.” She catches my eye and sends me a worried look. I know she was planning to write today and I think Michael has a meeting later.

“Why don’t you come out with us today, Henry?” I hear myself say. If I’m going to go sightseeing with Luke, Henry could come along. In fact, that’s brilliant! With Henry there, things will have to stay PG-13.

“That’s a great idea.” Alex looks at Henry with a hopeful smile. “What do you think, bud? A day out with Uncle Luke and Aunt Harriet?”

Uncle Luke and Aunt Harriet. I think back to what Michael said last night about us being family and cringe. I should definitely not imagine Luke bending me over his kitchen island.

I glance at Henry, suddenly desperate for him to join us. He happily agrees, and I realize that this could be my chance to show him I’m a fun aunt. This could be good.

I pull my phone out to let Luke know Henry will be coming too, and he responds right away.

Luke: Great! Make sure you bring a change of comfortable clothes and wear contacts.

What? I reread his words, frowning. Where the hell is he taking us?

* * *

“This is awesome!”Henry exclaims, racing ahead with excitement.

I stare at the ropes in front of us, trying to make sense of the absurd scene. A man swings from a trapeze before releasing his grip, spinning through the air and landing below.

“Do you like it?” Luke asks, turning to me. His eyes are bright and his mouth is curved in an expectant smile. It reminds me of that moment on the plane where he asked me in a rough voice, Do you like that? My gaze strays to his navy-blue hooded sweater and jeans as I recall my fantasy from in the shower last night, and a flush creeps up my neck.

I force my attention back to the ropes, relieved he can’t read my mind. So far, not off to a good start.

“When Alex suggested I take you out, I knew you wouldn’t want to go to any of the big tourist spots,” he continues. “But I thought this would be perfect for you.”

I blink uncomprehendingly. Why the hell would Luke think this is perfect for me? What does he have planned next? Lion taming? Flame-throwing? Perhaps I’ll have to walk on a high-wire over the Hudson River?

“You love this sort of thing, right?” Luke’s grin is huge. “It’s not exactly skydiving or zip-lining, but it’s supposed to be fun.”

Oh, right. Of course. My alter ego loves this stuff. She’s probably done it a hundred times before and is a complete natural. I bet this is how she warms up for an afternoon of BASE jumping.

I’m about to tell him I can’t do this—to shatter this illusion he has of me as some outgoing, adventurous person—but I stop when I see his expression. He’s proud and excited; he’s gone out of his way to bring me here because he thought I’d love it.

Shit. I’m going to have to go through with this.

I plaster on a smile, trying to ignore the way my gut is turning like a corkscrew. “This is… fantastic. Thank you.”

He beams back at me. “I’m so glad you like it! Let’s get changed, then we can get started.”

I wander into the bathrooms in a daze. My hands are shaking as I change into the leggings and T-shirt I brought in my bag. I can’t believe I’m about to climb up thirty feet to a tiny platform and hurl myself off. Sure, I’ll be attached to a rope and clinging onto a thin bar, but is that really any consolation?

There must be some way I can get out of this. I could fake a heart attack, or faint, or pretend I’ve suddenly got intense, uncontrollable diarrhea…

My legs feel robotic as they take me back out to meet Luke, and I realize that if I’m not careful I might have a very real panic attack. I can already feel my lungs tightening and adrenaline spiking through my veins.

Luke isn’t there when I get out, so I take a seat beside Henry, making myself take careful, calming breaths.

There’s nothing to be scared of, I tell myself. People come here for fun. It can’t be that bad. If they have a whole business based on this then it can hardly be risky, right? This is America, where everyone sues everyone at the drop of a hat. You couldn’t run a business like this if it was dangerous.

Except, what was that waiver I signed on the way in? I might have signed it without paying much attention—not because I was looking at Luke’s ass in his jeans—but now that I think about it, I’m certain the words “serious injury” and “death” were in there.

Oh God.

Henry glances at me with a grin. “Isn’t this so cool?”

I manage a nod, drawing another deep breath to control my spiraling anxiety. Luke appears at that moment in his sweats, but I’m too distracted by the looming trapeze to appreciate how sexy he looks.

He sends me a warm grin and guilt seeps into me. He’s gone to all this trouble to organize this, just for me, and here I am being ungrateful. Well, terrified mostly, but also ungrateful.

“You ready?” He gestures to the tiny platform suspended by ropes.

“Yes!” I squeal, attempting to inject enthusiasm into my voice even as it quivers. “Let’s do this!”

The instructor runs through a few of the basics with us, before strapping me into a harness and clipping some ropes on. Then I have to rub my hands in chalk and follow her up a rope ladder. My heart is hurling itself against my ribs, trying to escape from my body and what I’m about to do. I don’t blame it. And I’m going to need more chalk because I’m sweating this off. I can barely remember to breathe at this point, let alone control my breathing. Each rung of the ladder feels like a nail in my coffin. I wish I’d hugged Alex tighter when I said goodbye this morning.

I should just come clean and tell Luke I can’t do this. So Harriet 2.0 isn’t real, I made her up, and I’m not some kind of daredevil. He’ll understand, won’t he?

But as I clamber onto the platform and cling to the ropes for dear life, I make the mistake of glancing down at Luke and Henry. Luke’s face is lit with joy as he gives me a thumbs-up.

Henry cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “Go, Aunt Harriet!”

Oh Christ.

On wobbling legs, I manage to make it to the middle of the platform. The woman holds me by the back of my waist harness (Why? In case I get too enthusiastic and fling myself off prematurely?) and fiddles with some ropes, while I try my best not to black out. My pulse is deafening.

Then she pulls the trapeze bar forward with a big pole and, somehow, it’s in my hands.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she says.

If I wasn’t convinced I was breathing my last breath, I’d laugh. Whenever I’m ready. Yeah, right.

Okay, no. I need to take back control here. My therapist years ago taught me to tune into my physical senses to stop myself from getting swept up in my frantic thoughts, so I force my attention back to my body. It’s trembling, and my chest is tight, and my head is spinning. I can’t feel my legs. But the slower I breathe down into my belly, the more I start to relax. I mean, “relax” is a relative term at this point, but it’s helping.

I remind myself of all the ways I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone over the past week. I flew to New York alone. I had sex with a hot stranger on an airplane. I made new friends and explored the city. I dyed my hair. I now own—and use—a vibrator, for God’s sake. I can handle a little swing through the air.

I can do this.

I take a deep, deep breath, close my eyes, and before I can talk myself out of it, I step off the platform.

And just like that, I’m doing it—I’m flying through the air, gripping tightly to the trapeze bar. All I’m aware of is the roar of blood in my ears, the whoosh of the air as I swing. Then I open my eyes and for the first time since we arrived up here, I notice everything beyond the trapeze rig. I notice where we are: by the Hudson River. I notice the Statue of Liberty, all the way down in the harbor, and the skyline around us—the stunning view that I almost didn’t see.

Wow.

My body glides smoothly through the cool air and my ears tune in to everything else. I hear Luke and Henry cheering me on and whistling below, and elation and pride burst like a firework in my chest.

Oh my God. I did it. I did this bold thing and it is incredible.

As my swing slows, I take another lungful of air and let go of the trapeze bar. I land with a bounce on the net below, then scramble to the edge to find the others.

Henry is already halfway up the platform for his turn, but Luke is right by the net with a mile-wide grin, his arms outstretched to help me down. I reach for his hand, but instead he grabs my waist, lifting me from the net. I’m so amped up that I leap at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and winding my legs around his waist as he spins me in circles.

“That was amazing,” he murmurs into my ear, and I squeeze him tight. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have done that. I wouldn’t have forced myself to do something so daring, and proved that, actually, I can do things that scare me.

“Thank you,” I breathe. I wait for him to put me down, but he holds me tighter. And I might be imagining it, but I’m sure he just smelled my hair. I huff in his scent too, feeling giddy. And for the first time, I let myself acknowledge the little wish that aches inside me: that he wasn’t married, that everything was different—that he could, in some impossible way, be mine.

Eventually, he loosens his grip and sets me down. He gazes at me, his eyes animated and his mouth stretched into the biggest smile. My skin tingles from where his hands still rest on my waist, and my heart is racing again—only this time it’s not from the trapeze.

I’ve never felt more alive. This is better than the plane; this is something else. I’m struck again by Luke’s ability to push me out of my comfort zone and make me feel like someone else, and all I want to do is kiss him.

“Uncle Luke!”

Luke’s hands drop from my waist and we turn to Henry who’s paused on the edge of the platform, ready to jump.

“You can do it, Henry!” Luke calls.

Henry launches himself with ease, calling “Woohoo!” as he goes. We watch as he swings and makes a big leap onto the net, then bounces there, grinning.

“My turn, I guess.” Luke laughs nervously, rubbing his hands together. “I’m not sure if I can do this.”

“What?” I say, surprised. “You totally can.”

“I’m not like you, Harriet. I’m not as adventurous—”

“No.” I shake my head, wanting to at least tell him some of the truth. “That wasn’t easy for me. If I can do this, you definitely can. Besides, you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“You’re right.” He straightens up. “I just need to get past my fear.”

“Well—” I chuckle, putting on my Yoda voice. “Fear is the path to the dark side.”

A low laugh rolls out of him. There’s something swirling in his gaze as he takes a step closer, but just as he’s about to say something, Henry climbs off the net beside us.

“Are you going, Uncle Luke?”

“Yeah.” Luke nods, not lifting his eyes from me. “No regrets, right?”

“Right,” I murmur, watching him go.

And as he climbs the ropes, I can’t help but wonder if he was talking about the trapeze, or something else entirely.