When Stars Fall by Wendy Million
Chapter Twenty
Wyatt
Present Day
I toss another pebble into the water, and it skips across the surface. A day and a half left. Annoyance floats above me like a cloud. Ellie could have cleared her schedule. She could have breakfast with her mother any day.
“That was a good one,” Calshae says from her seat on the blanket.
“There are no good rocks on this beach.”
“We pay a lot of money for there to be no rocks on this beach. Every time you find a pebble, I consider firing our beach maintenance people.”
“Not worth it. Not high tourist season.” I bend down to grab another tiny pebble and rub it between my fingers. “Thanks for coming out here with me. I’m not good at being alone.”
“Sometimes being alone is good for you.” She sifts sand with her hands. “Any progress with Ellie?”
“No idea. She’s hard to read. Something is holding her back.”
“Probably the addiction thing.” Calshae doesn’t miss a beat.
I turn on her, and I’m sure my frustration spews out of me. Of course that’s a factor, but during every conversation, there’s an undercurrent I can’t quite ride to its logical conclusion. There’s something else.
She holds up her hands. “Come on. You can’t pretend that’s not a big deal. We hung out when you and Ellie were together, and I’ve seen the YouTube videos.”
“Made bad choices the first year or so after she left me,” I admit. “A cease and desist went out on as many of those as I could wrangle.” Most of those videos are a black hole. I want to crush the pebble in my hand. “That’s not representative of who I am. Hell, I was never like that with Ellie when we were together. I went insane for a while.” Which reminds me of something I haven’t gotten around to asking. “Why aren’t you two friends anymore?”
“I wouldn’t say we aren’t friends. It’s complicated. People drift apart for lots of reasons.” Calshae smiles, and her white teeth are striking against her dark face.
Sort of what Ellie said too, but again there was an undercurrent to the conversation. Most of the time I drift from people when they start treating me like the bank of fame and fortune instead of a friend. Can’t imagine that was the issue between Calshae and Ellie, since they are both from prominent and wealthy families on the island. Whatever happened to their friendship, Ellie hasn’t minded me spending time with Calshae, and I liked her company then and now. She’s a straight shooter.
“You leave the island not tomorrow but the morning after that, right?” she asks. “Want me to drive you?”
I squint out at the ocean. “I’m kinda hoping Ellie might want to take me.”
“If that doesn’t work out, I’m around that morning anyway.”
I search for more rocks, wandering down the beach. There’s a restlessness in me today that I don’t like. Whatever is preventing Ellie from diving back in with me is niggling at my brain, prompting my addictive tendencies. Whenever there’s a chance something in life is going to be painful or hurtful, my instinct is to reach for old habits to soften the blow.
“Hey, Calshae.” I walk back toward her.
She raises her head in question.
“Where’s the school Ellie is helping out at today?”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“I gotta keep occupied or I’ll do something stupid.” I fish the stress ball out of my pocket and squeeze it over and over for emphasis.
“What would you be doing if you were at home?”
I flex the stress ball a few more times. “Running around after a three-year-old.”
She frowns and looks confused. “You have a kid? Does Ellie know?”
“He’s not mine. My sister lives with me in LA. Very few people are aware. She doesn’t enjoy the attention anymore, but she needs my help.”
“Have you told Ellie? I’d think that would be kinda an important detail.”
“Ellie hasn’t really asked about Anna.” She brought her up the other day, but I sidestepped the question. “It’s a long story, but she lives with me now and so does Jamal.” I crash down beside Calshae on the blanket. “Ellie and Anna didn’t get along.”
“Yeah, I remember how tense their relationship was. She was a model for a while, right?”
“She was. Like me, she spiraled out of control once Isaac died. Couldn’t hold down a job. We even lost touch for a while when we were both at our worst.”
“You haven’t told Ellie about Anna and Jamal?”
I shrug. There are only so many things I can spring on Ellie while I’m extending my pleas for a reunion. Pretty sure my sister is a deal breaker.
“You’re being stupid.” Calshae shakes her head. “You want her back, but you’re not laying it all out there. I mean, she has a life here. Did you expect her to pick up and move to LA?”
“You sound like Ellie.”
“Well, it’s true.” She dusts sand off her legs. “It’s a big deal. Concealing that from Ellie isn’t going to make her trust you again.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I lean on my elbows, staring up at the cloudless sky.
“She’s got her work cut out for her with you.”
“What’s that mean?”
“You’re still so stubborn.”
“I hold a grudge like you would not believe.”
“That why it took you ten years to get here?” She gives me a sideways glance.
“Maybe. Who knows? Sometimes I have no idea why it took me so long. I did try a few times. I kept waiting for Ellie to cave. There was also that small drug habit I had going on. Kept me pretty distracted from reality for a long time. Between back-to-back movie roles and feeding my addictions, I didn’t let myself dwell on why I felt so shitty.”
“Why are you here now?”
“My sister.” I purse my lips. “We’ve been doing counseling, trying to get to the bottom of our mutual issues. Ellie kept coming up over and over in sessions. How much I loved her, how sad I was that I fucked it up. Anna asked me at what point I was going to go after what I wanted. Funny coming from her, but something clicked. I started making phone calls, trying to connect with Ellie, get someone to talk to me.” I trace patterns in the sand.
“I remember I had a message about a year ago from your personal assistant. Ignored it.”
“You and a bunch of others. Some things don’t change. No one wanted me back in Ellie’s life.”
“Someone finally talked?” Calshae stretches out her legs in the sand.
“You don’t get all my secrets, Calshae.” I lie back on the blanket. “I think I should go to the school. They’ll like seeing me, right? Who doesn’t want to hang out with Wyatt Burgess?” I cock an eyebrow, and she grins a little. “Ellie’s doing some kind of drama thing?”
“You’re not going to the school.”
“I’m going to do something stupid if I sit around all day.” I throw an arm across my face to block out the sun.
“Going to the school would be stupid.”
“I get that.” Sort of. I’m sure the students would like to see me. Even Ellie wouldn’t be mad for that long once I turned on the charm.
Seeing Ellie has fanned the flickering flame, creating an inferno that is threatening to consume me. I can’t get her out of my head. Leaving her behind when I have to return to LA is going to gut me. If she won’t give me another chance, I’m worried about my ability to cope.
“What do you normally do when you feel like this?” Calshae asks. “You can’t always be playing with your nephew.”
“When I’m on location or on set, I run a lot or work out. But I’ve done both of those this morning.”
“Swim?”
“I’m a terrible swimmer.”
“Want me to teach you?”
Removing my arm from across my face, I glance at her. “I’m not always the most patient person when I can’t catch onto something.”
“I remember you on a golf course. Then again, I think you’d been drinking that morning. Consider me warned.” Calshae gestures for me to get organized. “Come on. You want to do something? I can teach you to swim. What are you doing with Ellie after Haven’s done school?”
“How’d you know we were doing something with Haven too?”
Calshae stands and brushes off her legs. She takes her time before saying, “They spend a lot of time together.”
“Haven wants me to kayak and snorkel with her tonight.” I rise and flick the sand off my shorts. Once we’re both off the blanket, I refold it into a neat square. “I would prefer it if she didn’t have to save me from drowning.”
“She’s a great little swimmer. She’s always making the local paper for her swimming competitions.”
“Really?” There’s a twinge of unexpected pride.
“You’ve been totally clean for two years?” She searches my face.
“Since I was never a boy scout, I’ll swear on the Daisy Network’s honor. I’ll let you decide what that means.” I put my hand on my chest. My drug habit started even before I was on my Daisy show. Ellie is one of the few people who realizes that. There wasn’t much I kept from her.
She shakes her head and turns to walk up the path. “Come on. We’ll start in the pool before we tackle the big, bad ocean,” she says over her shoulder.
I stare after her. Sometimes, she says or does something that reminds me of Ellie. They used to be such great friends. Strange they’ve grown so far apart.
