When Stars Fall by Wendy Million

Chapter Thirty-Five

Wyatt

Present Day

Ellie’s avoiding me. Except for our scenes together earlier today, she’s stuck to Nikki like glue. I don’t get it. She admitted she’s willing to try again under the right circumstances, and then she ignores me. Is this some sort of parry and retreat thing? She tells me what I need to do and then sits back waiting for me to do it? Someday, I’ll figure women out. Today is not that day.

Maybe I should go to her trailer, admit I drank while I was on the island, but it wasn’t much. Tell her I haven’t touched a drop since I found out about Haven. I wouldn’t dare risk my family. Alcohol, for me, has never been like drugs. The cravings don’t hit me as hard. But I have no idea if those declarations are enough, or whether she’ll use that confession against me at some point.

Jamal is napping. Haven is upstairs doing her schoolwork with Stacy. The only thing stopping me is Nikki. She doesn’t like me. She’s made that clear. Eating crow while she looks on isn’t on the top of my list.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. An automated alert from the credit card company. I’ve purchased a plane ticket to Ottawa on United Airlines. Not a surprise. I was expecting this notification. Anna’s coming for Jamal. Without missing a beat, I dial Camila and ask her to get on a flight as soon as she can. If Anna arrives here without a buffer, she’ll be explosive. When she comes out of her spiral long enough to realize she’s abandoned her son again, she’s a bear. And not the soft, cuddly kind.

I tell Stacy I’m leaving, and after throwing on my winter clothes, I aim for the head of security. Rick needs a warning that Anna’s coming—and to keep her away from Ellie and Haven at any cost.

“Rick!” I call, and I jog to the small crowd gathered around him. He’s talking to a group of uniformed officers and private security agents.

“Wyatt.” Rick raises a hand to the group and half turns to me, cutting his conversation short. “Everything okay?”

“I need a word.”

He steps away from the other men and women to follow me. “A security concern?” Rick asks when we’re out of earshot.

“My sister, Anna.” Flicking through my camera roll on my phone, I find a photo and turn the screen toward him. “Don’t let her on set, in my trailer, around Ellie or Haven, anywhere near Jamal, unless I’m present. I can’t stress this enough.”

“Send me that photo, and I’ll push it out to the team to get everyone on the same page.” He scratches the back of his neck with a gloved hand. “Violent?”

“Sometimes. Mostly with people she knows.” I scroll through my photos, looking for the most recent ones of decent quality.

“Sounds pleasant.” Rick grimaces. “Is this a just-in-case thing or do you have information?”

“She’s purchased a plane ticket. I’m guessing she’ll be here tonight or first thing in the morning, depending on her connections.”

“Got it.” Rick’s phone pings with the photos I sent.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. Anna’s imminent arrival is a constant distraction. I miss marks, flub lines, and we have to do more takes than normal. Ellie shoots me concerned glances but doesn’t ask. She isn’t behaving like herself either.

Something is in the air.

Maybe she regrets saying she’d give us a second chance. I need to buck up and talk to her, whether or not Nikki is in the trailer.

When I finally work up the nerve to knock on her trailer door, it’s late. Lights are on, so I know she’s awake. Or maybe it’s Nikki. Either way, I have to try.

“Ellie’s busy right now.” Nikki cocks her head to the side.

“I’ll wait.” I step up. Nikki lets me in, but she doesn’t give me much space. “Showering?” There are noises coming from the bathroom.

“Uh,” Nikki says. “A bath, maybe? I’ll go check.” She walks to the bathroom at the back of the trailer and knocks. “Wyatt’s here. You want me to leave?”

Ellie’s reply is muffled, but Nikki collects her computer and gathers her things.

“Nikki, can I talk to you for a minute?” Might as well meet her dislike of me head-on. Whether Ellie and I can work things out doesn’t change her role in Haven’s life.

She raises her eyebrows as she shoves an arm into her coat and picks up her gloves.

“I wanted to thank you for the help you’ve given Ellie over the years. The role that you’ve taken on in Haven’s life—I realize you don’t like me, that you told Ellie to leave me back then. I get it. I get why.”

“You’ve got the wrong end of things there.” Nikki chuckles and gives me a rueful smile. “I was on your side when Ellie was pregnant. I couldn’t understand why Ellie’d want to leave you. Her love for you was so clear, and if I’m honest, how much you loved her was obvious too. It was everywhere you looked, shining out of the two of you. Then she left. I grew up, and I saw the truth. How reckless you were, consumed by fame. I got it, then—why she couldn’t stay.”

“That was me. I’ll own that. I was that guy.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “More than anyone else, I loved your sister, and yet not quite as much as I should have. Not that I loved the drugs more, but I had myself convinced I needed them. Couldn’t function without them. Now”—I nod my head toward the bathroom—“now I can say with absolute certainty there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give up for Ellie.”

“Except the truth?”

“Touché, Nikki.” I tip my head. “It’s why I’m here. No more bullshit. We’ve got to trust each other to do right by one another.”

She searches my face for a long beat. “I want Ellie to be happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen her was with you. I don’t understand your relationship, knowing what I know now, but there’s a light in her when you’re around, and no one else seems able to turn it on.” She frowns. “If you hurt her or Haven, I’ll hire a hitman. I’m not kidding.”

“I’ll help pay for it.”

“Do you truly believe you’re better?” Nikki zips her coat. “That you’ll always be better?”

“Truthfully? I won’t ever be better.” The gum in my pocket rattles. “The minute I convince myself I’m fixed, I take risks and chances I shouldn’t. So for the rest of my life, I’m an addict. Each morning when I wake up, I choose Haven. I choose Ellie. I don’t choose the bottom of a bottle of pills or alcohol.”

“You seem sincere.” Nikki’s pale eyes are serious.

“I am. I’ve never meant anything more.”

“Why is it so cold here?” She tugs her hat onto her head and glances at me one last time before smiling.

“Canada, eh?” I use a thick Canadian accent. “The movie’s supposed to be set around Christmas . . . I guess that means there has to be snow.”

“Next time you make my sister do a movie with you, can it be in a better location?”

“I like it here.” That’s actually true. The only drawback is the layers Ellie wears. Layers. A valid point. Maybe a beach next time.

“Let me know when I can come back.” Nikki closes the door behind her.

The couch calls to me and I sink into it with a sigh. When Ellie emerges from the bathroom, her face is devoid of color. With a frown, I get up and close the distance between us. “Are you okay? Are you sick? I’ll talk to James and get things rearranged if you’re ill.”

“You going to hold my hair back if I throw up?” Ellie’s dark eyes connect with mine. Her lips quirk up.

“All day long if that’s what you need.” I envelop her in a hug. “I’ll talk to him and come back.”

She wraps her arms around me and sighs. When I try to leave, she tightens her embrace. Her face is buried in my chest. My hands rise on her back as she sucks in a deep breath.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Wyatt.”

“I gotta talk to you too.”

Both of our phones buzz in unison on the kitchen table. Ellie glances up at me and lets me go to cross the room. If it’s possible, she gets paler. “Anna’s on set?” She throws on her jacket. “She’s in your trailer. Nikki sent an SOS for help.”

“Holy fuck.” I grab my coat.

Ellie clatters out the door, and I leave my coat undone, running past her. There’s no way I’m letting Ellie in there before me. Well, Rick. You did a shitty-ass job on security.

I burst through the door to find Anna storming around the trailer, screaming for Jamal. His wails come from his bedroom upstairs, but she’s too out of it to notice the stairs to the next floor. Nikki and Stacy trail behind her, asking her to calm down, take a seat, wait for me.

“Anna.” None of them realize I’ve entered.

“Where’s Jamal?” She turns wide eyes to me. “He should be at your house. Why is he here? Why’d you bring him here?”

“Anna.” I keep my hands up, my voice measured. I scan the area to make sure she isn’t near anything she could use to do serious damage to me or anyone else. “You left him, and I went to get him. We’ve done all of this before.”

“You calling me a bad mother? Are you saying I do this all the time? I love my kid.” She raises her face to the ceiling. “Jamal! Jamal, baby. Come to Mommy.”

“I don’t think he should see you like this.” Ellie’s measured voice causes me to whirl around.

Anna’s eyes narrow. “You broke my brother. Broke him. How has he possibly forgiven you?”

“We’re working on forgiving each other.” Ellie stares at Anna. “That’s what family does.”

“Not my family.” Bitterness seeps out of her. “Isn’t that right, Wyatt? We just take and take and take from each other. You’re not taking my kid anymore. When I leave here, we’re going to go somewhere far away. You’ll never see Jamal again.”

My heart thump-thumps at the suggestion. She’s repeatedly made this threat. So far, she hasn’t followed through. She encouraged me to go after Ellie, but Anna’s never had to face the notion of Ellie as more important than her and Jamal. Haven tipped the scales. An unspoken truth. Anna is family, but so is Haven, and by extension, as my daughter’s mother, so is Ellie. Even if I didn’t love her, that’s the truth.

“Mom,” Haven calls for Ellie from the hallway.

My breath stalls. “Go back to bed, Haven,” I call out.

There’s terror in the depths of Ellie’s eyes when she looks at me. I shift so Anna can’t get down the hall without going through me first. My sister wouldn’t hurt Haven on purpose, but I’m not gambling with my daughter’s safety. Anna is capable of scaring grown-ups. Seeing what she can be like when she’s high at the tender age of nine might be too much to bear.

“Mom!” Haven says with a touch of panic.

“I’m here, honey,” Ellie says. “Do what your dad says, okay?”

“That’s her?” Anna tips her head in the direction of the hallway. A sheen of sweat coats her forehead. “She’d probably like to meet her aunt, right? Haven, Aunt Anna is here. I’d love to meet you, sweet girl.”

Haven comes out of the darkness of the hallway and into the light. My heart contracts so hard I worry it’ll stop. She inherited my stubborn streak.

“Haven.” My tone is a warning to her, to Anna.

“You look sick.” She stares at Anna, curiosity and fear mixing on her face.

Anna probably hasn’t showered in weeks, and her eyes are wild. I scan the room again for weapons. From looking at her, she could be on a high or a low. Hard to believe I’m out of practice.

“You’re like your mother.” Anna turns her hateful expression toward Ellie. “Full of judgment.”

“She’s nine.” Ellie’s tone is sharp. “And she’s right. You look awful.”

“Mommy.” Jamal comes around the corner of the stairs, wiping his bleary, sleepy eyes. I scoop him into my arms, and he tucks his head under my chin, snuggling in. He reaches out for Ellie and calls her name.

“She’s not his mother!” Anna storms over to me, yanking Jamal from my arms. Jamal wails, trying to scramble back. This isn’t the first time he’s been in this position, hungry for stability and torn from it.

“Anna.” I offer Jamal my hand as he cries and screams. “Can we talk about this in the morning, please? You’re scaring Jamal. You’re not thinking clearly.” I glance at Ellie, and I’m about to take a chance. I don’t want Anna in here while people are sleeping. “You can have Ellie’s trailer to yourself. In the morning, we’ll talk about Jamal, about you, about getting both of you back to LA. Okay?”

“Her trailer?” Anna eyes Ellie. “Queen Ellie is okay with that?”

“Yeah.” Ellie scrapes her hair into a loose ponytail and lets it fall. Her expression isn’t happy, but she’ll understand why I’ve suggested it. The local hotels are full with the crew for the movie. Giving her the other trailer is the best, safest option for everyone. “I need to get a few things before you go over. Wyatt?” She nods toward Haven.

“Yeah. I got it.” I’m still a barrier between Anna and Haven. My daughter’s tiny form is rooted to the hallway entrance. No matter what I have to do, Anna won’t be allowed to touch her.

Nikki follows Ellie out, probably to get her things as well. Anna steals from me, from stores, from anyone she can. She wouldn’t hesitate to take items from Ellie or Ellie’s family.

Jamal’s wails have turned into whimpers, but he’s still straining toward me. His desire to escape Anna hurts my heart. Would this have been my life if Ellie had told me about Haven, and I hadn’t gotten clean? There were times I was this far gone, this out of my head. An overwhelming urge to apologize to Haven draws me to her. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tug her into my side.

Ellie and Nikki return with small suitcases clutched in their hands. “It’s all yours, Anna,” Ellie says.

Anna heads toward the trailer door, Jamal still in her arms.

“Jamal should stay here.” I drop my arm from Haven. “His things are here. He’s used to being here.”

“He needs to be with his mom.” She sniffs.

God, she’s a mess. Not sure how anyone looked me in the eye when I was this bad. “Tomorrow. As soon as you wake up, come knock. It’s late. He needs his sleep. You know what he gets like.” Appealing to her motherly instincts is a gamble.

Reluctantly, she passes Jamal to me. She gives him a kiss, but he tries to get away, clawing at my shoulders.

“It’ll be better in the morning,” I say. Not always. Maybe Camila will be here by then.

Anna runs a hand through her stringy, greasy, midnight-colored hair. She sniffs and grabs a small bag by the door. When she leaves the trailer, the cold winter air rushes in. She isn’t wearing a coat. I shake my head. High as a kite. She must not be able to feel the bitter wind at all.

“I’m sorry,” I say to everyone in the room. Stacy hasn’t said a word the entire time I’ve been here. She must be shell-shocked.

“That’s Jamal’s mom?” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “How’s he turning out okay? That was awful.”

I cradle Jamal closer to my chest. His life isn’t easy with her constant mood swings, periods of absence, and drug use.

“I kept thinking she was going to attack one of us. She stormed in here with no warning,” Nikki says.

Rick is getting his ass handed to him in the morning. Unacceptable. I click the locks into place on the trailer. “Nikki, you can take the other bedroom upstairs next to Stacy, okay?”

“On it.” Nikki rises from leaning against the armrest and heads for the stairs. She glances at Ellie before she leaves.

“We need to talk, Wyatt,” Ellie whispers.

“I know. Yeah, I get that.” My eyes are closed, and I’m envisioning what she’ll say after seeing Anna’s behavior. This wasn’t that bad. Could have been worse. Not a sentiment that’ll comfort Ellie. “I’ll take Jamal back to his room, okay?”

“I’ll meet you in the living room?” She loops her arm over Haven’s shoulders to take her to bed.

She’ll have to sleep with me as my trailer’s officially out of rooms. Haven’s single bed would be too tight for both of them to get a good night’s rest. I nod my agreement and head upstairs with Jamal.