When Stars Fall by Wendy Million

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ellie

Present Day

Before my own call time, there’s a knock on Wyatt’s trailer door. It’s still early, and no one else is awake yet. Cautiously, I peer out the window.

Please don’t let it be Anna.

A tall woman, bundled to the hilt, is outside, bouncing up and down on her toes, and her face is almost completely obscured by a scarf.

Nothing about her is familiar. After security let us down last night, I’m wary. “Who’s there?”

“Camila Silva. Wyatt asked me to come. I’m an addiction specialist. Anna’s here somewhere?”

I open the door and usher her out of the cold. As each layer is removed, I get a clearer picture of the woman who saved Wyatt from himself. She’s older than I expected, but attractive with her shoulder-length dark hair, dark eyes, light brown skin, and muscular stature. She must work out a lot.

With the winter clothes gone, she thrusts out her hand. “Camila. It’s nice to meet you in person, Ellie. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Last night, Wyatt admitted Camila wasn’t sure he should come after me. I’m a trigger. That part of the discussion hadn’t been fun. My presence, my existence, might be harmful. No one wants to hear that.

“Nice to meet you too.” I accept her hand. “He’s told me a lot about you and how you single-handedly saved him.”

“No.” She gives a sharp shake of her head and purses her lips. “He’s not giving himself enough credit. He saved himself. No one saves you when you’re an addict. You have to want to save yourself more than you want the next drink, the next pill, the next whatever. The struggle never ends. Every day, he saves himself.”

Scary and comforting. I threw a lot of money at the biggest addiction charity on the island, but I never asked a lot of questions. The answers weren’t ones I wanted to hear when I didn’t have Wyatt anymore. I am ready to hear now, and I need to pay attention.

“He’s on set,” I say. “Anna’s in my trailer.”

“And you’re in Wyatt’s trailer.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I’m merely trying to determine what’s going on. It’s easier to work with people, to provide solutions, when I have the whole picture.”

“He probably had you sign some sort of contract?” I take out a cup for tea, and I hold up the kettle to Camila. “Care for a cup?”

“Tea isn’t strong enough if I’m dealing with Anna this morning. Coffee, if you have it, please.” Camila crosses her arms. “And yes, we have a few ironclad, very expensive contracts protecting him from leaks. I’m very careful. As much as he trusts anyone, he trusts me.”

“Good to know.” I flick on the coffee maker. “Anna was a surprise. She’s worse now than she was before. And we didn’t get along then.”

“He’s been very good to his sister over the years. His patience with her is unending.” Camila frowns, clearly holding something back.

“That might be coming to an end.”

“You two are back together?” Camila sinks into the closest couch.

“We are.” I sip my tea.

“And you’re asking him to choose?” She squints at me, as though she can’t fathom why I’d do that.

“I can’t have Anna around Haven.” My hand has fallen to my abdomen. “You understand what Anna is like—better than most. She showed up raging yesterday.”

“Yes, she does that. She’s mostly harmless, depending on what she’s immersed herself in.” She sits up straighter. “Wyatt would never agree to leave Jamal with her, so you’ve asked him to go after custody?”

“She’s not good for Jamal.” The trauma she’s causing her son might take years to fix if we don’t act soon.

Camila tips her head, leaning back on the couch again. She picks at the fur on her winter coat, which is piled in a heap beside her. Emotions flit across her face, and I almost smile. She does not have a poker face.

“You want to say something.”

“Yep.” Camila glances at me. “But he wouldn’t be happy. It’s a bit of a balancing act. When to hold your cards and when to play them.”

“There’s a lot going on between us right now. Our lives are complicated, but we want a relationship to work.” I give her a long look. “I can handle Wyatt if you play those cards.” I grip on to the counter behind me. Whatever she’s withholding might be vital.

“You remember the contract you mentioned earlier? There are certain cards I can’t play.”

I take a deep breath. I don’t have time for games and half-truths. In fifteen minutes, I need to be in hair and makeup. “Tell me. I won’t tell him you told me. But I’ll do something about it.”

“My house is the collateral for talking about these things.” Her dark brown eyes meet mine as she calculates whether to trust me. “Do you understand what I’m saying? I like having a home.”

“He won’t kick you out of your place.” I can probably talk him out of that vindictive move if I absolutely must.

“The last time Wyatt asked Anna to give him Jamal, she told him she’d kill herself if he took her son. I don’t think she was bluffing. He doesn’t either. If he has to choose between you and Haven or his sister, he’ll pick you. But at what cost?”

I chug my tea. He wasn’t guessing last night; he knows what his sister will do. I’m not a monster. I don’t want her to die.

“But the guilt he’ll experience for the rest of his life for choosing you over her will break him. Quickly, slowly, somewhere in-between. Big feelings are hard for him. He already feels partially responsible for Isaac’s death. Adding Anna’s death—his little sister, Jamal’s mother . . . He’ll use again or the two of you will fall apart because you asked and he said yes.” Camila comes to my side to pour her coffee.

“I’m not sure what to say.” I stare into my empty teacup.

“For three years, I’ve listened to Wyatt tell me how much he loves you. You’ve let him in the door again. He’ll do anything to stay there. Anything you ask.”

“I don’t want Anna to die. The picture you painted—that’s not an outcome any of us wants.”

“You deserved to understand. He’d never tell you.”

He’d worry I wouldn’t stay. We’re in an impossible situation. “Was it hard?” I glance up. “For him to get clean?”

“Very.” She shifts her coffee cup to her other hand. “A lot of trial and error.”

“If I’d told him ten years ago when I was pregnant with Haven—do you think he would have gotten clean back then?”

“You don’t pull any punches.” Camila lets out a low whistle. “Did you ask him this question?”

“In a roundabout way, yeah.”

“And?”

“He said it wasn’t a fair question. But you’re the expert. Maybe you can tell me.”

“You want me to ease your conscience?”

“He’s so good now. Such a good man.” My voice grows thick, and I have to pause to collect myself. “He always was, but the addiction gripped him so hard. I’ve loved him so much for so long that I want to be sure I did the right thing.”

“I can’t answer with any sense of certainty. We’ll never know.” She runs her hand up and down my arm in a gesture of comfort. “People are unpredictable. You made a choice based on what you saw in him then.” Sipping her coffee, she gives me a thoughtful look. “That’s the thing about a choice. Once you make it, you can’t ever go back to undo it. What’s done is done.”

I place my teacup in the sink, then I gather my hair up and let it fall over and over. “This choice with Anna and Jamal . . .”

“Is another one of those moments. It’s a big one. A row of dominoes.”

“I always hated that game.”

Already I’m in over my head with Wyatt. Being with him is all-consuming. Since he left this morning, he’s all I’ve thought about. Last night sparked something, and my feelings are burning down all my defenses. I want him, no matter the cost.

Nikki pads into the kitchen, yawning. “Don’t you have to be there in five minutes?” She glances at the phone clutched in her hand and then spots Camila.

“Yeah, I do.” I rub my cheeks, feeling emotionally drained yet again. Just when I thought I was on even ground, something else makes me wobble. “Nikki, this is Camila, Wyatt’s addiction specialist. And Camila, Nikki is my sister.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nikki says and extends her hand for Camila to shake.

“Nikki, make sure Haven stays away from Anna today,” I say.

“I’m with you there. She was scary last night.” Nikki pats my shoulder. “Haven shouldn’t be anywhere near her.”

“She wouldn’t hurt Haven on purpose.” Camila grimaces.

“Maybe not. But Haven’s not used to Anna. And we won’t have a chance to talk until there’s a break in filming this afternoon or maybe tonight,” I say.

“As the ex-other-parent, I agree with Ellie.” Nikki grabs a mug and fills it with coffee. “We keep Haven the hell away from Anna. She was unhinged.”

“You said she’s in your trailer?” Camila frowns and takes another drink of her coffee.

“She should be. It’s not like we put a guard outside the door or anything.” I grab my coat, hat, and mitts off the warming rack. “Security wasn’t very useful last night.”

“Noted,” Camila says. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“Alone?” Nikki’s voice fills with disbelief. “Nope. You need six Jedi masters with you.”

“Nikki.” I laugh as I tuck my hair into my hat.

“I’m not exaggerating . . .” Nikki starts the familiar phrase from our childhood.

“You’re ‘remembering big,’” I finish with a shake of my head. “Come get me if you need me.” I open the door and head to work.

Wyatt and I have to talk. Camila is right. He’d never survive being the instrument of his sister’s death, and I can’t ask that of him.